Friday, December 19, 2008

One Gag Me With Cocaine Blind Vice

New from Ted Dec 19:

One Gag Me With Cocaine Blind Vice

Toothy Tile
, we hardly knew ya. Last week it was signed confidentiality agreements with your male paramours (other than your main man); this week it's far, far, far worse: pretend, horrible sex with a member of the opposite sex, in hopes that your studly reputation will somehow be fixed. Ain't gonnna work—here's why:

Repeat Blind Vice offender Toothy has a former fling running her (yes, her) mouth around town about a drug-infested hookup with Mr. Tile. Do tell, babes! Apparently, T.T. banged said blabber to try to prove to himself—or more importantly, the powers that be (managers, publicists, the public) that he isn't gay. See, the more chicks he hooks, the farther back in the closet he goes; just how his handlers want it.

Eh, not really the best plan, as Tooth's last female "lover," if you could call her that, has been yapping away about her evening with the now A-list famous type. But it wasn't exactly candles and cuddles like you'd think.

Try tons of coke. Toothy would make this lady blow lines all over his tight bod until he was “numb, bitched the gal who did the blowing. Then they could get down to business in what we're told were very "interesting" positions, i.e., painfully unnatural and not exactly enjoyable.

As disturbing as this news is, we must say we feel a bit sorry for our beloved Tooth (not to mention the used honey). This all took place, we're told, before Tile hooked up with his current beard, right when he was adamantly told not to come out, so it's no wonder he turned to drugs.

What's next? Meth with Morgan Mayhem? Pray not.

And It Ain't: All 3 Jonas Bros

Once again here is the link with a list of everyone Ted has eliminated as Toothy. Please share your thoughts!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, the Toothy Tile/aka Jakey-Boy saga just keeps getting dirtier and dirtier.

I wish he would just come out already - we all know it's him for crying out loud.

Anonymous said...

Does it bother anyone else that Lainey absolutley insists that Jakey is straight? Even if he is not TT (sometimes I think Ted made TT up out of the blue for attention...something seems "off" about it...don't know, cannot explain it)I KNOW Jakey is gay. He is so obviously gay...but Lainey swears he is not.
What is up with that?? She is so right usually...

Anonymous said...

I read on another board Lainey has been "paid off" to say Jake is straight. Makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh I SO hope Lainey has not succumbed to that. I do love her...

Anonymous said...

Anon, can you link us to the board where this is discussed about Lainey? I find her Reese/Jake posts suspect. They lack even the tiniest hint of snark, which is unlike her. She unleashes it at times even for those she loves. And with the stars she loves, her enthusiasm is clear, as are her reasons for liking them, even if twisted. The Jake and Reese posts are bland, attracting neither love nor hate from her, just a tone of 'all is well, no one gay here'.

caro said...

and if TT isn't Jake "brokeback montain"? i don't see JG to try a ton of drugs!

Tina said...

For some reason Lainey likes Reese and hates Ryan. Is she paid off? Hates cheating men who dump their wives for younger women? I don't know.

Anyway, Reese The Fag Hag is very obviously not an option for Lainey because that would add insult to injury.

Tina said...

'all is well, no one gay here'

That was funny.

Who in the right mind would finish the report about the "happy heterosexual couple" with "he's not gay"?

LOL

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize this until reading another blog, but today, Dec. 19th, is Jake's birthday. I don't think it is just a coincidence this item ran today.

Anonymous said...

Lots of people who comment on Ted's blinds on The Awful Truth site think he has completely made up Toothy to stay relevant and interesting. I feel Jake is gay, no question about it, and Lainey insisting otherwise is suspect big time. BUT I am doubtful of Toothy. I do wonder if Ted made him up. He is getting ridiculous with his claims now (confidentiality agreements, cocain...whatever). I just do not know. But I do know Jakey is gay. :)

sistah2 said...

Love your comments guys. I have been ranting about this for awhile now. The most absurd thing in Ted's TT saga is that there is a 'baby tile' that is being kept out of public eye, and that TT is the dad of said baby with his b'f. I agree at this point its a laughable hoax Ted's kept going to keep attention high. Its all in fun right?
I also agree that JG could well be a closeted gay, I just dont connect him to the ludicrous TT story.

sistah2 said...

I also want to add: anybody else think its hilarious that the AIA's are now reduced to the '3 JOnas Bros'. He's run out of guys to elim?

Ashley said...

I also saw that today was Jake's birthday and I don't think it is a coincidence either.

Anonymous said...

Great comments. I too am tiring of the non-commital answers regarding this one particular BV but it makes me happy to think it's Jake, so Jake I shall think. Agree that it's weird as hell how bland Lainey is about Jake and Reese. Very off, for her. Anyway... was wondering who y'all thought this "fling" might be? Are we to assume it's a no-name female? Was wondering because wasn't Jake supposedly with Kirsten before he hooked up with Reese?

Luci said...

Usually people people are unable to have sex after that much blow as described. That dosn't make any sense.

Anonymous said...

I work in the industry and I can say that Jake is gay. His sister told a make-up artist, who is friends with me. Jake is just the tip of the gay iceberg people. I wish every one of them would come out -- I am! If they don't do it now, they should at least do it the Richard Chamberlain way and do it later in life, taking it to their grave will help no one in terms of achieving equality.

sistah2 said...

Anons who work in the industry: what's your take on this Reese W. thing? On the surface , sure, she is playing the beard as so many have done, but she does not seem to NEED to be a 'beard' for publicity purposes...what's she doing? Or, is like what Kathy Griffin says: 'sometimes we just dont realize that our boyfriends are gay'.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, this blind item sounds like Calum Best. I remember there was that big scandal about him hooking up with hookers in a hotel room and them doing coke off his body...and the reference to Morgan Mayhem, who is rumored to be Lindsay...he was born in 1981. If I had never read any other blind items, I'd think Calum was Toothy...except he ain't "A-list" lol, et al.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it, the fact that toothy has sex with a woman is proof that he's gay? Ted has lots of stories but they are getting flimsier and flimsier. I don't think TT is real.

Anonymous said...

It seems odd that Jake's sister would share this information with her make-up artist yet Jake goes to such lengths to hide it. The two truths don't connect.

Perhaps everyone in the industry is automatically in on these games, and the public is just left in the dark? That's a lot of work to cover up something no one even cares about.

GuiltyPleasure said...

I do believe that TT is real, and that Jake is TT. The fact that this was published on Jake's Bday is definitely a clue. I think the problem with the BI is the source. Any chick that runs around blabbing to gossip columnists that she had a drug wrought sexual encounter with a star(let)lacks credibility and class. I wooundnt believe her for one second. However- gossip is gossip. Some is true- some isnt. I tend to believe this an untrue bend on an otherwise true story.

GuiltyPleasure said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Ted is full of crap. Jake may be gay but Ted sounds like he is reeking a really weird vengeance because he knows everyone knows TT is Jake.

Anonymous said...

I believe...Ted wants everyone to think TT is real and, therefore,that TT is Jakey, who he knows for fact is gay. I find the TT items hilarious in their silliness. I do not think Ted is trying to be funny. I think HE thinks he is still the Big Guy on Campus but in reality, he is being unsurped by so many upstarts; Lainey being only one. As far as Lainey loving Jake and insisting he is straight...I wonder if this is simply one time she is just plain wrong. I do not believe she has taken a "payout"...why her & only her? And she is not "big enough" (though I love her)yet to warrant such a thing. As for the anon above who says they are in the industry and have been "told" by so & so's sister's cousin's best friends neighbor...sorry. I never believe those people and with good reason; always full of crap.

Anonymous said...

LOL I am with poster above...I never believe it when people claim...*I work in show business therefore I KNOW he is gay*. It is always a relative they "know" it from...LOL
No idea if Jake G is gay...maybe, probably, but some random make up artist was told? Uhhhh, no.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, I like Lainey too - but she has been wrong before. She is ALWAYS wrong on her Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams gossip. She insisted for months that they were together, when they had in reality broken up back when she had 100% slam dunk sources that they were together. She also was wrong on them this past fall saying that Ryan would be in London with Rachel while she is filming - well, he never made it to London and they broke up again when she took the role in Sherlock Holmes.

Personally I think Jake is bi-sexual. I think right now he is choosing to be with a woman. It just seems like a lot of work and too many people involved (mainly Reese's kids) if this is all a charade.

mo-mo said...

I also laughed when I saw that the "and it ain'ts" were the Jonas brothers. He definitely can't even think of any more guys to elimiate!

This whole story about the cocaine, etc.... this can not be Jake. Don't know what the deal is with this one... the TT saga is getting out of control! Yeah, sistah2, I forget sometimes about "baby Tile". Ha! JG is TT, but no way all the TT tales are true!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Don't you think that Toothy Tile's latest blind item means that Toothy is getting rebellious against the bearding? Are we seeing the old, brave Toothy back?
—Fred

Dear Free Toothy:
God, let's hope so."

Anonymous said...

I'm the "work in the industry" person.

In the industry, it's common knowledge that a lot of people are gay and they are open about it on set. It's sort of an unwritten rule that we don't talk about it to the press. Here, I am anonymous, so it doesn't "count."

To answer the other commenter's question. I don't know Reese or Jake personally, but I would guess that Reese wants to stay in the news and be "relevant" with the youth demographic that adores Jake. Old age comes faster in Hollywood than anywhere else.

Anonymous said...

Just throwing wood on the fire:

http://www.jjsdirt.com/2007/08/jake-gyllenhaal-gay.html

http://www.jjsdirt.com/2007/10/jake-gyllenhaal-and-his-long-time.html

Sounds like TT to me. Don't get the whole relationship with Reese Witherspoon though. Perhaps Ted doesn't like closeted gay people who didn't come out for the gay marriage vote, hence the shots at Angie and Jake. Whatev. Move along to something else Ted.

SusieQ said...

Again, anon 11:01, we do not belive you. We could ALL claim to "work in the industry". So easy to say when you don't actually do it. Again, it is ALWAYS "a relative" that knows someone is gay. Give me a freakin' break.

Anonymous said...

Whoa SusieQ, speak for yourself! How is Indstry Anon less credible than say, Lainey, in reality?

Maybe Lainey has more reason to lie, as does Perez (a friend of Laineys) both of whom were/are trying to break into bigger gossip shows. Now, you don't do that and call out the major agencies best clients with tittle tattle! Ted's not ass-kissing so he can write what he wants.

And anyway, everything you read about Reese and Jake in People magazine or US Weekly is sourced by some faceless anon in the industry, yet readers believe those anons when they say this is a perfect couple etc...you don't question it then, do you? But how are they any more credible?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So let me get this straight: Kevin Spacey would go for a Toothy Tile or Milk kind of script, but Toothy Tile himself would pass on ever starring in a film where the issue of homosexuality would be heavily addressed? Just wondering.
—B

Dear Homo Hunting:
You bet. Toothy is so far back in his closet now he's not doing anything that would bring attention to him like that. This was surely not always the case with Toothy, however."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Besides his obviously bizarre personal life, is Toothy Tile generally regarded by the public as being eccentric?
—Lynn, Connecticut

Dear Actions or Words:
His public appearances are hardly odd. Not for this town."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Your column is fab—I look forward to reading it every day at work! Just wondering—is Toothy Tile Brian Austin Green?
—Curious in Calabasas

Dear Matchmaker:
No, but BAG could be his type."

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