Friday, March 16, 2012

Blind Vice! Family Man Hides Casting Couch Past!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Family Man Hides Casting Couch Past!


Happy Friday, sexy Awful readers! Before you go off and do all those naughty things you have planned for the weekend (and I know you’re going to be up to no good), let me introduce you to pretty and pure Billy Bend-Over.
He’s got rosy cheeks, luscious locks and a bubble butt to boot—all the perfect makings of a movie star, no? Especially with his "aw, shucks" 'tude that America loves. But Bill has a little secret about how he got to the top…

By getting on bottom! We’ll get to that in one sec though.
See, Billy is no stranger to gay rumors. Homolicious rumors have followed him during his time in the limelight (which big-screen star worth his box office hasn’t had his sexuality questioned?), but the thing is…
Billy is straight. Or so say his pals.
But that never stopped Billy from doing whatever he needed to do to land a role. You didn’t think casting couch biz was exclusively for gals like Portia Vajazzle and Bernadine Couch-Butt, did ya?
Nope! Billy’s toosh is quite cozy with those par-tick couches. Or beds. Or wherever it may be that he needs to perform certain, uh, “auditions” to prove exactly how much he wants a role.
Like he did to land his most iconic big-screen role, when he bedded the director—who was very much a man—to score the gig.
Wonder if it was worth it. And I wonder if it’d be worth it if his fans found out…or worse, his significant other, future 2.5 kiddos and that picket friggin’ fence he so cherishes.
AND IT AIN’T: Peter Facinelli, Alex PettyferJon Hamm

Eliminated as of 6/16/12: Peter Facinelli, Alex PettyferJon Hamm, Ryan Gosling, Matthew McConaughey, Chris Hemsworth, Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer,

Top suspect: ?

81 comments:

EmEyeKay said...

Could it be the long-haired Hemsworth? He came to mind as soon as I read this.

Cami said...

That's exactly who I thought, as well! Chris Hemsworth.... The iconic role would be Thor..

wifeymommy said...

Ben Affleck

lns212 said...

I like the Chris Hemsworth guess. At first I wondered if it may have been Liam until I read his wikipedia page that said "Kenneth Branagh called him to try for the lead role in Thor but was beat out by brother Chris." Maybe Chris won because of the casting couch?

mookie said...

sounds like Channing Tatum

lns212 said...

@mookie

i don't believe it's channing. arguably his big break was "step up," and that was directed by a woman

pikespeak said...

It's NOT Channing...he's not straight, one, two, he's been around the block if you catch my drift, I don't think Ted would wait this long for a vice on him of this regard.

Unknown said...

Channing also doesn't have lucious locks, his head is usually shaved or cut close.
I'm on the CH wagon until we get more hints from Ted, really this could be a lot of people.

blurry vice said...

Was thinking Michael Fassbender because of the "bendover". But he doesn't have luscious locks. Did he ever have longer hair? Channing Tatum also doesn't have that type of hair. I am not familiar with Chris Hemsworth at the moment.

Rita said...

I am on Channing Tatum for this one! Without checking if he is a top contender for another blind... But it seems to me that just a few days ago, Ted said that Tatum has no vice... Or is Friday beer getting to my head?

Cheerio!

Mena said...

Leaning towards Chris Hemsworth as well because of the suspicious way he was cast as Thor (iconic role).

And because he has a significant other so he should be on his way to his 2.5 kids (one down already).

Also there seems to be a battle on the gay sites as to whether Thor or Captain America has the best bubble butt. Surely Ted must have noticed it?

Quote from one of the gay forums: After watching "Thor" last weekend I find Chris Hemsworth sizzling HOT specially when he took his shirt off. What a perfect body w/ nice bubble butt.

malinic said...

ben affleck

teddyjafanador said...

Brandon Routh. Iconic role was Superman. Director was Bryan Singer.

Mary H said...

I also wondered about Brandon Routh. He and his wife have just announced her pregnancy with their first child. And he's got a new pilot underway for this fall with Sophia Bush, Michael Urie and David Krumholtz. Although I hope it's not him. I met him in 2010 and he's absolutely a sweetheart.

The elder Hemsworth seems to be the best guess right now. I asked Ted about some up-and-coming Aussie actors having vices, but he hasn't answered.

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

I googled "male actor bubble butt" and got some interesting results. Mostly gay chat forums. Wasn't helpful.

Then I googled other stuff and found out that Peter Facinelli attended the Thor premier, Alex Pettyfer and Chris Hemsworth were pitted against each other for a Teen Choice Award, but I've got nothing for Jon Hamm. They're both... attractive?

Savannah said...

My first thought was Ben Affleck, especially the 2.5 child bit because Jennifer is currently pregnant with their third child, but I think he already has a Vice. Chris Hemsworth / Kenneth Branaugh fits, but to throw some more possibilities out there:

Nicholas Hoult / Bryan Singer. According Datalounge Singer is notorious for liking bottoms. Hoult's girlfriend, Jennifer Lawrence's movie is coming out soon.

Andrew Garfield / Marc Webb for the new Spiderman. Andrew definitely has the aw shucks attitude and the luscious locks.

Josh Hutchinson? Since Hunger Games came out yesterday

Chris Pine?

Matthew McConaughey? I know he's been around for awhile but there have always been gay rumors about him.

botanicaldiva said...

Totally leaning towards Matthew McConaughey for this one. Pictured him as soon as I read it!

Mary H said...

Well, he answered my Aussie boy question, and although I distinctly remember adding Chris H. to the list, it seems he was taken off...

Dear Ted:
Seems like Australian actors are having quite a moment these days so I was hoping you'd tell me which of my fave Aussie hunks has a B.V.: Liam Hemsworth, Xavier Samuel, Ryan Kwanten, Eric Bana and Sam Worthington. Kisses to the pups from me and all these drool-worthy fellas!
—Mary

Dear Down Under:
It does seem like those foreign hotties are invading T-town—not that you'll hear me complaining anytime ever. As for Vices amongst those par-tick stars, good old Titan-fighting Sammy is the only one listed who has a moniker—but there are other infamous Superstars who hail from Australia. Plus, we all know how much Liam loves hanging with Vicers, right?

That bit at the bottom definitely sounds like Ted is referring to Miley and possibly Chris as well.

Silence M. King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Silence M. King said...

Matthew McConaughey for sure. Remember all those rumors flying around a few years ago about him, Lance Armstrong, and Jake Gyllenhaal?

EV said...

Chris Hemsworth was my 1st thought because of Thor & his longer hair. With SWATH coming out in June, I am sure will start to hear more about him.

Rob said...

Hes at least bisexual

HalleGoLightly said...

McConaughey got his big break on "A Time To Kill" back in 1996. He beat out a lot of other hot young actors for the role at the time (the other guys in that group like Damon, Affleck, etc...). The director was Joel Schumacher, who's gay.

lns212 said...

after i saw ted's response to that aussie question, i'm even more convinced it's chris. who else is liam really ever around, besides miley, that's a vicer? who better than a brother?

Mary H said...

I agree lns212. I think someone needs to drop another question about the Avengers vices to get a hint that way.

Sara said...

The issue with Chris Hemsworth for me is the title of casting couch past seems to point to an actor whose breakout role was a few years ago, with Thor being released last year is this really much of a past? He hasn't made many films so far to get this reputation, plus there doesn't seem to be rumours about his sexuality...

I do like the Channing Tatum guest, Step Up is his breakout role which was produced by Adam Shankman, he could be the role caster with a couch? His lack of hair does throw this guess off though!

NYCGirl said...

Chris Hemsworth was who immediately came to mind for me too.

Leens said...

Matthew McConnaughey hands down. He's gOt the ruddy face, bubble butt, family man and gay rumors galore.

pikespeak said...

Leens: Does America love McBongo, though?

Sara: Regarding Channing Tatum and Shankman...I always think of NPH talking about sharing a hot tub with Channing at Adam Shankman's Laguna Beach pad years back...

Mary H said...

Matthew McConaughey OUT. More clues to Chris Hemsworth? Today's Afternoon Mail:

Dear Ted:
You are adorable. So my guess for Billy Bend-Over is (drum roll please or maybe bongo beats?) Matthew McConaughey. He seems to fit the clues rather nicely and his butt does, too. On a personal note: Thank you for your encouragement and continued inspiration. I am now ciggy free.
—KikiTopaz

Dear Butt Babe:
Congrats on being cig-free, me, too! As for M2, nope, ain't him, but think very similarly acting and physical attribute-wise.

Rita said...

Actually, today's answer brings me closer to Channing.

Both are beefcakes, they like to often show off their physique. Let's not forget that Matt is in Channing's bio stripper movie.

And acting wise, they both played dumb roles in the beginning (hello Dazed and Confused anyone?), before moving to romcoms, then hitting it big.

What else do they have in common? Remember when Matt used to hang with Toothy Tile and Lance Armstrong. All the time. Biking. Hiking. Swimming. And apparently doing a lot of drugs and orgies, where it is perpetrated by some of the girls they've hooked up with, that Armstrong and McConaughey did more than just accidently cross swords?

Sara said...

The afternoon mail today Ted confirms billy bend over is American - Hemsworth is Australian so this rules him out

Trying to link the AIAs but can only get Pettyfer in that Magic Mike film with Tatum. Bit of a obscure link but all the AIAs have met there current significant other on movie sets. Tatum starred with his wife on Step Up

danielleM said...

I'm going with these guesses

Matthew McConaughey, Ryan Reynolds, Leo DiCaprio or Bradley Cooper. The fact that the item indicates FUTURE kids makes me think it may NOT be Matthew though.

Leens said...

Okay, I'm in the Channing Tatum camp now :)

Unknown said...

Please tell me how Channing can be considered to have "luscious locks". That is why I can't get on the Channing bandwagon.

EmEyeKay said...

The luscious locks throws me off, too.

Rita said...

The same way Ted says Cameron Diaz has a curvaceous body: his interpretations or body attributes are exactly that, his.

Rita said...

On today's Afternoon Mail, Ted nixed Ryan Gosling, right after a question that had him mentioning Magic Mike, with this "Think less famous, less muscled—currently—and slightly less driven."

Less muscled currently: yep, after filming of Magic Mike ended, Channing has been pictured looking chunkier. And his slightly less driven than Ryan Gosling. Ryan tends to embody his characters a bit too well.

Unknown said...

Rita - funny how we read things differently, I wuld think that Channing is way driven considering he is also producing the movies he's in and the Mike movie is about his past life. I took that comment as pushing it further away from Channing

Sheba said...

@danielleM
'his significant other, future 2.5 kiddos and that picket friggin’ fence he so cherishes.'

Picket fence hints that the guy is married or wants to get married. So that leaves out leo dicaprio, because he always made it very clear that he doesn't want to get married and I think he's king schlong. And he was already an oscar nominee before he became a star. I think the actor we're looking for isn't a nominee and someone who still doesn't have proven that he can act. I'm also sure that bradley cooper already has a vice. I don't know if Ryan reynolds has a vice, but I only saw him in 2 movies so I don't know he's good actor or not (from the movies I saw i wouldn't call him good, but you never know).
Can someone tell me who Peter Facinelli and Alex Pettyfer are because they're not famous in my country. I do know that Jon Hamm is in mad men. Are the other two known from tv?

Dollie said...

My first guess for this was and is Mark Wahlburg. The iconic role being "Boogie Nights". I figure it has to be someone who has been around for a bit to have an iconic role. Wahlburg used to be known as a bit of a player and his sexuality has been questioned a lot. Now, he has settled down and has 4 kids. He isn't as buff as he used to be.

EV said...

Like "Unknown"' I am leaning away from Channing Tatum because of Ted's comments in Afternoon Mail.

To me, the AIA, are connected by people that were in the news a lot last week: Peter for his divorce announcement; Alex for his possible engagement to Riley Keough (grand-daughter of Elvis); and Jon Hamm because of the season premiere of "Mad Men" and his comments re: Kim Kardashian.

So trying to think of other American guys who who might fit this Blind Vice who are not already known vicers.....

@ Sheba- Peter Facinelli currently stars in "Nurse Jackie" on an American cable TV, but probably is more well known for playing Carlise Cullen in the Twilight Saga. Alex Pettyfer is a British actor who starred in "I am Number Four" last year, but recently filmed "Magic Mike". Alex is top suspect for the moniker of Percy DuBois.

Sheba said...

@ev
Thanks for the info. So alex pettyfer isn't known for a tv show?
Magic mike is that movie where Shanning tatum also plays a part right? So for know i'm guessing Shanning Tatum although I don't understand what people find atractive about him.

KelliJo said...

I'm thinking that this is Armie Hammer.

Sweeney Family said...

This sounds like the love interest in sweet home Alabama. Especially because he looks like mm. And he just got married.

Mena said...

I was thinking of the Sweet Home Alabama actor as well (Josh Lucas?) because he has been in the news lately (just got married and wife was pregnant?) just like the AIAs. Plus he does look like Matthew McC.

But what would his iconic role be? Would his role in American Psycho be considered iconic?

Can't think of anything else this actor filmed that would be considered iconic.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Greetings from San Francisco! I have two questions! First, is Billy Bend-Over American? Also, can we have some more info on Charlotte "Chuck" Finger Dingle?

She's been on my mind for the longest!
—Leah

Dear U.S. of Ass:
Yes. And what would you like to know about Chuck, exactly? That she could not give a rat's butt about what you might or might not want to know about her?

Really, like more than any other actress in this town, which is saying quite a bit.

Dear Ted:
Just a quickie...I have Billy Bend-Over figured out. It's gotta be Ryan Gosling. White picket fence and 2.5 kids is a hint to The Notebook. Am I right? Keep

up the no-cigs—this Christmas will be four years for me. It's such a better life.
—Elizabeth

Dear You Got That Right:
About the cigs, not that man. Honey, Ryan Gosling? Remember, not all actors are who they play. Ryan likes ‘em female and how (and not married). Think less

famous, less muscled—currently—and slightly less driven."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You are adorable. So my guess for Billy Bend-Over is (drum roll please or maybe bongo beats?) Matthew McConaughey. He seems to fit the clues rather nicely

and his butt does, too. On a personal note: Thank you for your encouragement and continued inspiration. I am now ciggy free.
—KikiTopaz

Dear Butt Babe:
Congrats on being cig-free, me, too! As for M2, nope, ain't him, but think very similarly acting and physical attribute-wise."

Now That's Panache said...

When I read this the very first name that popped into my head (and stayed there reading some of the comments) was Bradley Cooper. Luscious locks for sure, "aw, Shucks!" attitude, and definite white picket fence lust. Bradley has on more than one occasion expressed his desire for a wife and kids and perfect little life. However, also from reading the comments, I'm thinking it may not be him. ESP because I believe he already has a vice (he's been speculated to be Topher Hairy-Tuchus or New Guy). So this theory is not based on evidence of any sort, just simply instinct.

I saw someone else say Wahlberg, which is another one that came to mind as far as the wife and kids/white picket fence thing.

Michelle said...

@now, it can't be Bradley, he's already a confirmed vicer before this came out.

Savannah said...

If Ted didn't say Billy is American and has a significant other I think this could be Taylor Kitsch. He definitely has the luscious locks, nice bod, rosy cheeks, and aw shucks attitude. A few clues:

"Happy Friday, sexy Awful readers!" could point to Taylor getting his start in Friday Night Lights.

After talking about how he bedded the director to get his most iconic role (John Carter) Ted says "Wonder if it was worth it." Which would make sense since Ted posted this blind soon after John Carter bombed at the box office.

It says Billy is a "family man" but it says "future 2.5 kids" which insinuates that he doesn't have kids yet. Taylor doesn't have kids but he talks a lot about his family and childhood growing up in Canada.

Now That's Panache said...

@Michelle, ah ok thanks! I knew he'd been speculated a lot but I didn't realize he'd been confirmed (it's been quite awhile since I've been on here)!

@Savannah that definitely makes sense with the John Carter connection.

medusa said...

@Savannah, I immediatly thought Taylor Kitsch, too! The luscous locks, the breakout role, the rosy cheeks... didn't realize he was Canadian though.

And I agree, "wonder if it was worth it" line seems to indicate that his "most iconic big-screen role" hasn't turned out to be as great as expected.

Peter Facinelli was/is married to Jenni Garth, Jon Hamm is with Jennifer Westfeldt - any chance Alex Pettyfer dated a Jennifer? If so might be the link.

Rita said...

Unfortunately Ladies, just yesterday Ted has has said that Kitsch has no vices at all.

Dear Ted:
I just saw the new Disney film John Carter and I am obsessed with Taylor Kitsch! Super hot! Although the movie reminded me of Prince of Persia for some reason. Can you dish some Blind Vice scoop on the super hot?
—BCaf

Dear Men Are From Mars:
I wish I had some naughty scoop to tease, B, but Taylor is as private as they come (well, for a dude who is in two of the most publicized flicks of the year anyway)—and especially when it comes to the romance department. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he has any B.V.-worthy secrets he's hiding. As for the flick, it was better than Prince of Persia if just because Disney actually delivered on the shirtlessness this time.

Here is the link (Sisters, I think with the high-profile movies that Taylor Kitsch has opening in the next few months, he just might get a moniker soon enough!)

http://ca.eonline.com/news/Afternoon_Mail__What_Does_Taylor_Kitsch_Have_to_Hide_/304333

UNOG News said...

The picket friggin fence is the one of Neighbourds, the Australian TV Show of Chris Hemsworth in Australia. Then he launched a role in Thor, by sleeping with Kenneth Branagh who is the director of the movie. Ted repairs worth worth because of Hemsworth and very much a man because of Brannagh´s movie Very much ado, the up! audition sounds funnily as the ups he usually does when he speaks.

It can only be CHRIS HEMSWORTH, no doubt

UNOG News said...

Great name, Billy bend-over for Chris Hemsworth, very iconic too.

UNOG News said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PairofPei said...

Ted notted Chris Helmsworth this morning:

Dear Ted:
I've been trying to crack The Avengers B.V., and I think I have it: is Chris Hemsworth Billy Bend-Over?
—Lyn

Dear Thor-ted:
Great guess, Lyn, but Chris isn't our casting couch hunk. Think less…blond.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been trying to crack The Avengers B.V., and I think I have it: is Chris Hemsworth Billy Bend-Over?
—Lyn

Dear Thor-ted:
Great guess, Lyn, but Chris isn't our casting couch hunk. Think less…blond."

Jess said...

Brandon Routh

kris said...

chris evans ?

FrenchGirl said...

Tom Hiddleston(the actor playing Loki in THOR)?

FrenchGirl said...

james mcavoy?
fassbender?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
On the topic of Billy Bend-Over, how about you write a Blind Vice on the director and how he decided who to cast in such an "iconic" role? I'm sure the
studio would love to know that millions of dollars rest on who the director can get to service him. When the power playing field is not level, nothing is
really consensual—color me disgusted!
—L

Dear Dirty Director:
Sorry babe, but that's the way the wind blows in Hollyweird. Besides, it's so much more fun when a hunky actor is involved, doncha think?"

BlahBlahBlah said...

As someone else said Brandon Routh is a good fit - there were rumours linking him with Bryan Singer when 'Superman' came out? Also his career has never lived up to the hype when that film came out, hence the 'was it worth it' comment. The only thing that throws he off is the 'flowing locks' comment. Does Channing Tatum have an 'iconic' role? Everything he has been in has been pretty much a box office/critical bomb, and he doesnt have flowing locks, other than that he is also a good fit.

FrenchGirl said...

Dear Ted:
So, right to the chase, is Billy Bend-Over Henry Cavill?
—SoullessMinions

Dear Right to the Point:
No. But great guess

teddyjafanador said...

I'm still convinced It's Brandon Routh. And that last comment about it not being Henry Cavill, but it being a great guess really makes me think I'm right. They are both Superman.

Mrs.Chris Evans said...

Brandon's wife is pregnant. I've also seen pictures of him with longer hair. I agree with the Brandon Routh guess.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So, right to the chase, is Billy Bend-Over Henry Cavill?
—SoullessMinions

Dear Right to the Point:
No. But great guess."

pikespeak said...

Brandon Routh

Savannah said...

Today Ted said there are 3 BV stars on the set of Magic Mike. He's confirmed that Alex Pettyfer and Olivia Munn have BVs but he has said in the past that the other stars Channing Tatum, Joe Mangilliano, and Matthew Bomer do not. Matthew McConnaghey could (I couldn't find him on the list.) If he doesn't that means Channing or Joe could be this BV (since he already notted McConaghey and Bomer is openly gay)

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I am totally with you in thinking Blake Lively could pull off the Grace Kelly role! I really think she is getting better as an actress and is choosing better roles. And as for everyone hating on her, who cares what she does behind closed doors?! Also this Billy Bend-Over Blind Vice is killing me, so I must know:
Is he Armie Hammer?
—H

Dear Nice Guys Finish Last:
Finally, someone who's seen the Lively light. Not only would the Gossip Girl look flawless filling Grace's swanky shoes, but it's exactly what goes on behind
those closed doors you speak of that would let B.L. get into that princess mindset. As for Billy, he's a little rougher around the edges than Mr. Hammer."

nycgal212 said...

Ted said Billy is in films not TV, and looks kinda like Jon Hamm. Ben Affleck? Maybe Mark Ruffalo, he was in Avengers as the Hulk

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You have great casting ideas for Fifty Shades of Grey! Also does Billy Bend-Over have any new projects? And is Sammy Sniffles Zoe Saldana?
—H

Dear Bending Over Backwards:
Billy has a few projects in the works, but you better ask another Q if you want me to be more specific! And no, Zoe Saldana is not Sammy Sniffles, but thanks for the love, H!

Dear Ted:
You told me to be more specific about my questions regarding Billy Bend-Over, so here it is: Is he working on films or TV now? Also, now that Finnick isn't going to be
Taylor Kitsch, who else should play him? Maybe Armie Hammer?
—H

Dear The Deets:
Here's your more specific answer: Films. And usually funnier ones than either Kitsch or Hammer, for the record. But on the Finnick front, I've cried my tears about
Taylor nixing his Catching Fire potential and am now on board the Ryan Kwanten train. He's more than hot enough, right?!

Dear Ted,
Love the idea of Ryan Kwanten for Finnick Odair, but isn't he a little too old? And on to Vices, does Sammy Sniffles know Queen Djibouti? And is Billy Bend-Over
delicious Mad Men star Jon Hamm?
—H

Dear Just a Number:
Ryan is only a few years older than Mr. Kitsch (who was a casting fave before he nixed it). Jennifer Lawrence is casted older than her character and that worked out
fab; I think Mr. Kwanten's abs and acting chops could make us suspend our disbelief. As for your Vice Q's, no and no. Though Billy and Jon do have similarly handsome
features."

sash said...

Matt Damon, if he has not already been eliminated.

ah shucks persona - check

curly head of hair - check

bubble butt - check

dragon said...

It's Not channing. The Blind item said Billy Slept with the Director to get the part. The Director who land his Big break was a WOMAN. channing doesnt have luscious locks.

nycgal212 said...

Ben affleck

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