Saturday, June 4, 2011

Blind Vice! Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

Friday's BV from Ted...

Blind Vice!  Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

Barry Wanger-Banger is a muy funny fella. 'Tho, must fess, the tabloids haven't been talking about Barry for any of his silly shenanigans lately. In fact, they've been talking about the crap he does that could kill him, which is a damn shame.
But B-man is getting his life together, so we thought we'd share a titillating tale that we definitely find LOL-worthy about Mr. Wanger and his more pleasant Vice:
You know, the fact that he's totally into dudes!
Of course, like any H'wood hunk worth his B-list status, BWB can keep his secrets just that.
Yep, Barry has taken note from the many closeted cuties before him and loves parading around T-town with a new hot thing—some models, some actresses, he doesn't care too much, really.
But after wining and dining these babes at some of the swankiest hot spots in town—where he's sure to get some paparazzi attention with his charming smile and sometimes six-pack—the real fun starts when he invites them back to his place. (Not even Toothy Tile is dim enough to pull the crap you're about to read.)
'Cause here's the kicker: Barry lets the gals think he actually wants to get it on with them!
One partic clueless chick—who's actually got a recognizable puss herself—arrived back at B's place and was itching to see what he was packing when—poof!—Barry just up and disappeared.
The unlucky lady sat twiddling her thumbs in his family room, wondering where the hell her date went, before she finally started searching for him. And that's when she learned the truth:
Three is definitely a crowd.
See, Barry had slipped outside to play a game of midnight basketball—no, that's not a dirty little saying...We actually mean with the orange ball and a hoop and whatnot—with a sexy, shirtless stud.
Barry's poor date watched all the ass slapping and lingering congratulations as the two sweaty boys played with each other out back before deciding she was had suddenly become the third wheel and hit the road.
So, then Barry and his BF hit the showers.
Now these are the kind of stories we like to hear from ya, Bar. You always know how to make us laugh.
And It Ain't: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen

Eliminated as of 3/26/12: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen, Jason Sudeikis, Jonah Hill, Justin Timberlake, Alex Pettyfer

Top suspect:

30 comments:

blurry vice said...

OK, lets remember the people who have already been said to have been a BV in the past that people may guess for this. Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Dax Shepard, Jason Segel, Seth Rogen, Bradley Cooper. A lot of people on Eonline's comments are guessing these names but remember to refer to the list of people who have been a BV already.

blurry vice said...

I'm not making a guess until I read through all the bitch-backs for any more hints/eliminations.

lollapopalooza said...

when the blind vice first went up on E! ted called him Barry once and then the rest of the vice called him bart. it's been changed now, obviously - but i just thought that was an interesting typo.
that said, i don't have a guess for this...at all.

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kirby said...

Seann William Scott? And also... why is Ted recycling blinds from other blogs? I think I just read this a few years back from the AGC pages.

annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BlahBlahBlah said...

sean william scotts initials are sws and the monikers is bwb

BlahBlahBlah said...

also hasnt sws just been in rehab?

Cyn said...

Dane Cook? S?teve-O

sistah2 said...

So if the girl left while the basketball was going on, how does anyone know what happened later? This is ridiculous.

BlahBlahBlah said...

As a side note I find it hard to decipher if we can use someone that has previously been a blind vice or not, years ago Ted never used to give monikers to the vicers and I recall him saying that DiCaprio had previously been a blind vice, then more recently there was the 'king slong' vice which people believe to be DiCaprio.

raccoonelephant said...

i think its owen wilson

Savannah said...

Someone on the E boards suggested Wilmer Valderamma and I think that's a great guess... Wilmer is an LA "stud" and is always out with a new lady. He dated Lindsey Lohan and recently Demi Lovato who may be the girl mentioned in the Vice. Ted said "muy funny fella" which could be a 'latin' clue. Ted also made a point of saying that Barry is B-list, not A-list. I'd say Wilmer is probably more C-list but it's true that he's definitely not A-list.

Jolie said...

Dear Ted:
Is Barry Wanger-Banger better known for TV or movie roles? I need more clues. He seems interesting.
—Angie

Dear Banger-Babe:
He is! And a total sweetie, too. Movies, to answer your question

pikespeak said...

It's either Wilmer or SWS

Saleant said...

Exploring the Seann William Scott angle...

Sometime abs = yes.
Muy funny - started The Onion, SNL, American Pie = yes
Rehab = yes.

On the darker side... self described 'strong Christian' but at the age of 34 never married.

Does religious + closet gay = drugs = rehab?

LMS130 said...

Ted possibly gave us a big clue in his Jason Sudeikis post today.

"after a muy hilarious turn as the host of last weekend's MTV Movie Awards...."

He also describes Barry Banger-Wanger as a muy funny fella.

What do you think? I had ruled Jason out when Ted called Barry a movie actor. Isn't Jason on SNL?

Jolie said...

But SNL is not a movie.

Vicki said...

Jason has some movies in the can, and a big one with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman coming out soon called Horrible Bosses...

Vicki said...

Eh, never mind. He's not doing anything scandalous like it mentions in the beginning of the vice.

Cathy said...

So this is totally off-topic, but Ted dropped some major hints this week about a couple celebs:

First of all, he practically confirmed that Bradley Cooper is Topher Hairy Tuchas when he said that in order for BC's vice to be exposed, someone would have to check his computer. THT is the vicer that surfs craigslist for guys.

Also, he seemed to hint that Emma Watson might be a lesbian, when he said, "Looks like fame is wearing on the short-haired, single Emma. Couldn't she call up Jodie Foster and ask her how she did it? The college, love and hair thang, that is." I know that she was confirmed as of April 14th to not be a bv, but is there any chance she could be Sheila Horn-y, since that blind came out on April 15th? I know that one of the hints is that some people say she's a horrible actress, but maybe he's talking about the krisbians? They're always ripping on her...

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth
/b246004_jason_sudeikis_doesnt_
mind_fame_has_it.html

blurry vice said...

This is not Seann William Scott, he was already a bv.

sistah2, I know... I thought htat too about the shower comment. Ted jsut made that part up.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Barry Wanger-Banger better known for TV or movie roles? I need more clues. He seems interesting.
—Angie

Dear Banger-Babe:
He is! And a total sweetie, too. Movies, to answer your question."

"Dear Ted:
I'm stumped by your Barry Wanger-Banger B.V., but I have a guess for you: Jason Sudeikis? He's a muy funny guy! What do you think—am I warm?
—Michelle

Dear Jokes on You:
Warm, yes. But you didn't nail Barry. While Jas is just starting to rise in his celeb status, Mr. Wanger-Banger has been recognizable for much longer, which is how he gets the semi-famous females to go out with him in the first place."

DNBer said...

Paul Rudd? He's literally the only B-list "funny" actor I can think of. The others are all C-list or worse! It would explain the "clueless" reference, as well as the Seth Rogen connection. Apatow often casts Rudd, from what I understand (I would never deign to actually see any of that shit).

duffgrl said...

Paul Rudd is married w/ kids; wouldn't be out on visible dates w/ chicks

kristin said...

dont talka about my Paul Rudd like that!!! hahaha j/k! Seriously though I love him and I would totally hit that and I am married with kids....

I am having a hard time with this one, I cant think of any comedians that are papped with babes

Rico said...

It's Jim Carrey.

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

There's no way Jim Carrey is B-list. Other than that, this would make sense since his recent attention has been for *very* unfunny stuff.

Tony Bell said...

I don't know if BWB is SWS, but I'm fairly certain SWS is a gay boy. Have you seen this? I don't care You check out these vids and tell me whom it is you see performing. I don't think it'll take you long to figure it out.

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1240851779&pkey=63891311359356687

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=962957141&pkey=63891311359356687

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1272765752&pkey=63891311359356687

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