Let's Guess the Super Rich Celeb Being Sued for Spreading Herpes!
Get a load of this: According to a seriously salacious lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court yesterday, an "A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally" knowingly exposed a sex partner to the herpes virus, and that partner is now suing for $20 million.
So who is it? Here's what we know:
The culprit is male, worth in excess of $100 million and lied about not having V.D. On April 1, he lured the person (not ID'd as male of female, BTW) to his Las Vegas hotel room to watch porn and engage in "mutual oral copulation, mutual self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other, play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse."
Also, according to the suit, they did some drugs and, oh yeah, the celeb videotaped the whole thing.
We don't want to get too close to this story, but we're dying to find out which international celebrity is being targeted.
Surely it's not...
Leonardo DiCaprio, who's recently single and has been hitting the party scene extra hard lately? Leo notoriously loves Vegas, and his new film Hoover even had a sneak preview during CinemaCon (the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners) there on an overlapping date. But somehow, we suspect this is not something that helped lead to his breakup with poor Bar.
Also in Vegas a lot would be...
Elton John, but we simply have to refuse to believe the naughty culprit is the knighted, flamboyant singer. The new father and partner to devoted longtime love David Furnish wouldn't engage in such antics! Right? And lucky for this Vegas mainstay and Caesars Palace regular, Elton was in New York performing on Saturday Night Live at the time the accusations went down.
So, then, what, about...
Jeremy Piven, who frequents Vegas clubs and was definitely there a few weeks after the incident occurred, for a Mumford and Sons concert at the Cosmopolitan hotel? Word is Jerm has a thang for kinky sexcapades. But would we really consider him "an A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally?" Uh, no.
So let's then move on to worldwide superstar...
Tom Cruise, who certainly has the bucks to pony up a payload like that. Not to mention it certainly wouldn't be the first time T.C. had been accused of some weird sexual peccadillo. But the point is, Tom and Katie are hardly debauched Sin City regulars, and besides, Tom sues faster than Scarlett Johansson asks Sean to smooch with her, and everybody knows this, so any loud legal action from somebody trying to get revenge: highly unlikely.
Hmmm, Vegas act and Caesars Palace cash cow....
Celine Dion is super wealthy and well known worldwide. We knew there had to be more going on than meets the eye with that grandpa hubby of hers! Open marriage? Conservative front for a kinky couple? Celine! Who knew? Oh, wait, the suit did say it was a guy, so, never mind. Too bad, it actually would have made us like you better!
But look, like we said, we don't think it's any of the folks mentioned above. CinemaCon and the Academy Country Music Awards both took place in Las Vegas around April 1, leaving tons of wealthy, raunchy A-list candidates.
So who the hell is it?!
Tell us who you think!
Then, Ted posted this update Friday, and gave the celeb a BV-like nickname: "Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass" -
Did a Blind Vice All-Star Give Someone $20 Million Herpes?
UPDATE: We'll admit—we may have gotten our gay panties in a twist on this one. 'Cause we initially pegged the herp jerk as one of our fagalicious BV fellows, but it seems there's a clue in the lawsuit that most prying eyes overlooked—that the screwed-over someone is a chick! After pages and pages of trying to hide the Plantiff's gender, the unlucky clerk wraps by demanding "her claims" go to trial. Whoopsies! Clerical error? Or not?
In that case, our money is on previous long shot Saucy Bossy and his sometimes-womanizing ways. Or possibly Crescent Kumquat, who likes to boink a babe from time to time and isn't a stranger to STDS (or the Vegas party scene).
And we can't forget Super-Duper Cooper, whose sleazy sexcapades make us want to barf every time. This kind of gross-out garbage is the stuff that made him infamous behind closed doors.
Either way, it seems the lying lothario is quickly dishing out the dough to cover his scandalous tracks. Ha! Like something this scandalous will just get swept under the carpet. Lawyers may be trying to throw us off this perv's trouble-making track, but we think we've got him nailed. So who's your best guess?
We interrupt this regularly scheduled Blind Vice to weigh in on yesterday's scandalous celebrity lawsuit.
(We were planning on telling you Shellack Attack has already ditched that dude she was two-timing her much more famous bf with, because the guy was just too plebian, poor Shellack's climbing as fast as she can!)
Which megaceleb is getting slapped with a $20 million lawsuit because he gave his sex partner herpes, and videotaped the whole unsafe-sex act as it was going down?
Hmm. We're just going to call this guy Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass, and we might add, he sounds an awful lot like some contenders from our Blind Vice Hall of Fame, right?
At the top of our guessing game would have to be...
Seymour Plow-Me More, the Hollywood A-lister who keeps on (time after friggin' time) flagrantly putting his homo out there in semi-public places, all the while maintaining an ostensibly heterosexual life for the media.
I mean, this guy has plane-loads of dudes flown all over the world—by straight pilots who talk! And this is just one example of how Seymour lives to take chances, as is clear from the lawsuit itself, if you read every little dirty detail.
Now, also known to take dumb-butt chances, once in awhile, would have to be...
Toothy Tile, who we're simply praying isn't this arrogant Schmuck-Wad creep. Come on, there's a difference between wanting to just get your sex on in a dark alley, say, and filming it while giving somebody herpes! Now, Toothy's made some pretty moronic moves in his life, but not even he's this dim—or full of himself.
Probably not quite this insanely risky, either, would be...
Fey Oiled-Tush, who just lives to set up his elaborate flying harems (what is it with closeted gay actors and planes, what, they think it's not going to get back to anybody because it happened up in the air?). But he also abides—just as vigilantly—on having all his tracks covered. In other words, all these witnesses must sign non-disclosure agreements, not that that crap actually stops people from talking, but it does succeed in creating a certain chill somebody like Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass has no desire to create.
A less obvious choice, too, might just be...
Saucy Bossy, who even though he does prefer the down-low company of other men, does—from time to time (and certainly more often than Toothy, for instance) actually date and have sex with other women. And there's something peculiarly plausible, if you read the details just right, about this lawsuit that leaves the possibility the "mutual self-gratification" that went on, prior to the unsafe intercourse, etc., could have been between a man and a woman.
But we still guess it's between two men. And who shows up more often in the Vice annals that that combo?
Tellin' ya, we've probably written about Schmuck-Wad before.
Then Ted posted this newer update June 22, 2011 -
Poll: Who's Behind the Priciest Herpes Eva?!
Remember that mystery A-lister getting sued for giving someone herpes?
Well the STD host/big-time celeb quietly settled, for $5 million. Yes, $5,000,000. Let's drool over all those zeroes. The plaintiff even wanted $20 freakin' mil, but we're thinking "she's" pretty happy.
Anyhoo, TMZ, the gossip blog that broke this fabulously sheathed (just not penis-sheathed) item, is steering clear of even saying who they think might be the culprit:
Not even a friggin' hint! What the hell's up with that, babes? Much like the Awful Truth has done, don't ever recall Harvey Levin's TMZ outfit holding back when they had a celebrity opinion—in the least!
Maybe it's because H.L. has some connections with the infected him (or her!)? Maybe it's somebody who's not so A-list, after all—or maybe TMZ just doesn't know? Fair enough.
Or do we just have the ol' boys club network in action here, some slut-dude like Charlie Sheen who's being protected because that's just what guys do for each other?
Hmmm, let's find out:
Top suspect: ?