Friday, April 29, 2011

Blind Vice! Special Royal Scandal Edition

Happy Royal Wedding Day!  The 4 sisters were up at 5 am for the wedding coverage and loved every minute of it!  It's been a crazy week but we are getting caught up with the blinds in time for the weekend.  Now here's a Royal-themed BV from Ted today.  Enjoy!

Blind Vice!  Special Royal Scandal Edition

Kate Middleton's Replica Engagement Ring, The Most Famous Royal Engagement RingAs fabulous as our Royal Name Generator may be, let's face it: We debauched Americans at the Awful Truth were dressing up salacious celebs with our Blind Vice Superstars (and lesser Vice mortals) ages ago. And not to rain on William and Kate's happy day, but we simply cannot leave out the Vice-lovin' Brits!
The very shady HRH the Duke of Schlongsbury is like millionth in line to the British throne, but, babes, the law-breaking stud is legally entitled to rule the country, should it come to that. Which is why members of Parliament are super nervous.
Hmmm. What's the handsome duke's crime?
You know how often Queen Elizabeth II purses her lips or changes hats? Triple that figure and you've got the number of times Duke Schlongsbury beds underage girls.
And the very good-looking heir pays these women, on top of it—adding even more law-breaking badassness to his royal résumé!
Queen Liz knows all about it. So, too, do most of the country's elite, who are positively dead-set on gossiping about these things, but rarely doing anything about it.
Only this time, certain members of Parliament feel they're legally bound to try and stop the throne-line naughtiness. And the duke, who's quite used to getting whatever his horny heart desires, is royally pissed.
Hey, not nearly as peeved as Schlongbury's line-up of lovelies! Not only does he pay them extravagantly, he's got the biggest set of family jewels in all of England!
And we're not talking diamonds.

AND IT AIN'T: Viscount Linley (Princess Margaret's son), Peter Phillips (Princess Anne's son) or Prince Michael (Princess Michael of Kent's husband).

Top suspect: Prince Andrew, Duke of York


Anonymous said...

Prince Andrew. Google it.

HKCCRCLC said...

This is totally Prince Andrew, brother of Charles and former husband to Sarah Ferguson.

There were probably many reasons why Sarah wasn't invited to the wedding, but one might be her relationship with a convicted pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein, from whom she accepted $24,000 to pay off her debts.

Andrew's been friends with this Epstein slimebag for many years -- and Brit newspapers are full of it. There's even a picture of Prince A. with his arm around Epstein's former teenage masseuse Virgina Roberts when she was under 17. Evidently Ms. Roberts has tales to tell about her time with the Prince and so do some of her equally under-age friends.

Google Prince Andrew and scandal and you'll get an eye-full.

No wonder Queenie is upset. He's definitely in line for the throne.


Rita said...

Prince Andrew! His antics, with the now presence of social media, cannot be hidden anymore from the general public. It has been largely reported that the Royal family had to pay off many families with very young daughters (as young as 11!) hush money. One of these days, one of these girls is going to take pictures and leak them on the internet.

Also, The Duchess of Pork had openly discussed the size of her ex-husband's penis in an authorized biography after their divorce.

HKCCRCLC said...

@Rita: EWW!

Viking Girl said...

Yes, def. Randy Andy. What a classy family. Any one want to take them off our hands? Please!!

Rita said...

Will take Harry off your hands ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! that kid, he has it: the mojo galore.

sistah2 said...

Jeez I was thinking Andrew too and you guys confirmed it.
Fergie's no saint but I can see why they got divorced.
His poor daughters. How uncomfortable for them. BTW they looked awful today. No style or class. But look at their parents. The queen must have cringed.

Caz1310 said...

Yes, Andrew's Antics have long been known. Skanky. No wonder the Queen doesn't want to abdicate. Skip Charles and give it straight to Wills.

Blondage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caz1310 said...

Charles is first in line followed by William. Andrew wouldn't get a look-in. Charles has many qualities which see him ill-equipped to be King. Remember the torrent of media coverage of Fergie cheating on Andrew....there's not a lot on Andrew's escapades. Hypocritical, much? Oh, it's widely known Prince Phillip has been unfaithful to HRH The Queen too, with one of her cousins. We all know what Charles did.

My Comment said...

Sorry Caz1310 the point of the blind is that the person is so far but yet close enough that it's a problem--Prince Andrew is 4th in line. So my money goes also to him.

Juda1 said...

'Underage girls' ... given that the age of consent in Britain is 16 ... are we really supposed to believe he's having sex with girls 15 & under? Really?

Of course there's teenage prostitutes [sex trafficed into the country] but he's not lurking around the ghetto parts of London controlled by Albanian pimps! Also, any member of the Royal Family are going to have Royal Protection Officers with them on all occasions 24/7 ... they're also going to have dozens of staff members in their homes so how exactly do you bed 15 year old girls or younger without staff finding out? You don't! Also, Prince Andrew is not 'very good looking'! My bet would be Lord Freddie Windsor who's a former Burberry model & much younger than Prince Andrew ... though I'm not really sure I believe this blind at all ... just way to far fetched.

HKCCRCLC said...

@Juda1: With respect, with all the shenanigans these Royals get up to, I am certain that their security has been there, done that -- seen it all and turned their eyes.

To my eyes, Randy Andy is far from good-looking, but that's because he looks like a slimeball to me. He was widely thought to be the handsome bro in his younger years.

As for his needing to resort to prostitutes, let's get real, he hardly needs to slip away from security and hunt young girls all by himself in an unmarked car. He can go after young women looking for a Royal thrill in his well-bred circles or, better yet, get his sleezy buddies to procure girls for him. No muss, no fuss.

On top of this, Ted may not have consulted with a lawyer when he used the term "under age". In the U.S. -- and Ted is an American -- the age of consent is 16 to 18. Frankly, in my book, a man in his 50s who has sex with someone 17, and just google Andrew to see there's plenty of evidence for that -- is not anybody I would want to leave alone with a teenage female.

Take a look at what @Rita and others have said above.

However...there is aproblem with all this. Ted has specified that this person is "millionth in line" for the throne. That fits for Freddie, but not for Andrew, who is 4th in line right now (after Charles, Will and Harry).

I'm still going for Andrew. Kate & Will are likely to start having babies, which will widen Andrew's distance from the throne.

And Ted may not be up on Royal accession protocol.

sistah2 said...

HKCC well put...its obviously Andrew, case closed.

Clancy said...

I personally think Ted's 'like millionth in line' is an exaggeration that takes in the fact that, notwithstanding death or abdication, a king or queen rules for a jolly long time, so, in Andrew's case, 4th in line may as well be millionth.

talia said...

all three aia are born in the 60s or 70s and are in the tenth or twentieth in line to the throne:
(sorry, i only found it in german):

i don't believe that the blind is about prince andrew... but i don't know enough about british royalty to offer you another guess...

do you think the naming "duke" is a hint to the real title or not important?

Viking Girl said...

As well as being a prince, Andrew also has the title of Duke of York.

Violet451 said...

Rita-I agree on all counts. We'll take Prince Harry!

I was completely oblivious to all this Andrew stuff. 11?!?! Where and when does he have the opportunity?!?! UGH, I'm agraid to google it. Somebody does need to do something, it sounds like it is LONG overdue!!

I agree that the Duke title in the blind was supposed to distinguish him from someone like Harry who is very much in line for the throne, but like Andrew, not likely to ever be King. Harry would not yet have that title. I think Ted would want this to be obvious.


Unknown said...

I'm on board with Andrew. I wonder what he must think when he's with his daughters. Just gross!

sunnyside1213 said...

Fergie said sex with Andrew was disappointing.

Rita said...

I was born around the Mediterranean, not far from Europe, and our Star Magazine and National Enquirer back then was Paris Match. i.e. EVERYTHING royalty.

Those were our superstars for back then, Hollywood stars were considered tacky. So we new everything that was going on with Caroline and Stéphanie de Monaco, Diana, Charles and his old horse of a mistress. Prince Philipp and the Queen's tolerance of his philandering, how Fergie was also living with 2 men when she first hooked up with Andrew... on and on. We only cared about their lives.

That being said, you guys in North America have NO IDEA the dirt the Queen had hidden from the public, or tried. The fact that Andrew likes his meat UNDERCOOKED (this in fact is pedophilia and not something borederline acceptable like going after 18-19 year olds), is the least of her problems. The dysfunction in that family is beyond unreasonable. Everyone is aware. The fact that Harry and William behave a bit more normal is testament to Diana's objections that her boys be raised by royal staff, and her persistence that they help the needy had made them more balanced and better centered human beings, and knowing the difference between party time, and investing in others time.

my 2 Canadian cents.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately I agree with what others have said and here is why.
There are only a few Royal Dukes in existence and these are the only Dukes entitled to the HRH (His Royal Highness)
They are in general order of precedence except York may outrank Cambridge and generally with the exception of Phillip in order of proximity to the throne:

Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh (in line to the throne in his own right unless he renounced it when he married the Queen or when she took the thrown - can't remember)
Prince Charles, Cornwall
Prince William, Cambridge
Prince Andrew, York
Prince Richard, Gloucester
Prince Edward, Kent

Doubtful that it's Edinburgh given his age (90 or nearly 90), Charles and William are too close to the throne, Kent is not considered "handsome", Gloucester is ok looking but in his late 60's - anything's possible I guess. York is generally considered handsome at least in the past and many think him so now.

So it's between Gloucester and York and York seems the logical choice even without the news pages throwing hints beyond what Ted says. Gees it's just so disappointing! Maybe that explains why he's never remarried.

I love this site by the way - I read a lot but rarely chime in because I usually don't know anything =)

Thanks for letting me share!

sistah2 said...

welcome bads, and thanks Rita for your post.
I myself am a royal-phile and have read almost every book on the royals from Eliz I, victoria all the way to the present.
However I am not up to date on all that the Europeans know since I am not up on that inside track with Paris Match etc.
Kitty Kelly's book merely scraped the surface , as she said on Larry Kings show she had to leave out quite a bit that was just too shocking to print.
Thank God for Diana's bringing Wills and Harry up right.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah none of the AIAs are Dukes let alone Royal Dukes and most are not HRH's either - Prince Michael of Kent is an HRH. Ted said today the HRH is indeed a clue. However, Ted did NOT say this person was a Duke despite the name just an HRH - if we let the Duke part of it go, it opens up the field somewhat but only adding Prince Harry of Wales, Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex and Prince Michael of Kent(who is AIA). Still leaves Andrew (York) most likely - UGH

Rita said...

thanks badsl, never understood all that HRH and protocole, etc.

Yep, Andrew it still is. He used to be quite dashing younger, guess the use and abuse have taken their toll on his looks.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Have you heard anything about HRH the Duke of Schlongsbury being gay or bi?

Dear Det. Blind Vice:
Yes, but remember, darling, it's England. Men diddling each other over there is akin to guys shaking hands in this country.

Dear Ted:
I never thought I would say this, but I am really pissed off at you! I like to get my Blind Vice fix as much as your next fan, but your latest, The Duke of

Schlongsbury was sooo wrong! This guy doesn't need a Blind Vice, he needs a prison cell. You said he routinely has sex with underage girls and then you

proceeded to make light of the whole issue. Shining a light on this disgusting guy was a good thing, but I think your method of delivery was horrible. What

do you have to say for yourself?

Dear Pissy:
Oh, please, I am not the Federal Bureau of Investigation; although, I sometimes do feel like the Hollywood Bureau of Debauchery. As with Strippa Rip-Ya

(whose husband is abusing her), it's up to the people directly involved in the crimes to go to the police, not me. Your anger really should be directed at

those who can do something about the law-breaking, but instead, choose not to. At least, I'm trying to get this crap out in the open.

Dear Ted:
I highly doubt anyone outside of the U.K. knows HRH the Duke of Schlongsbury, so please help us with an additional hint. Do we have to address him with HRH

in real life or is that just part of the moniker?

Dear Bow When You Ask:
Yes, the whole royal shebang is required.

blurry vice said...

Thanks everyone for your royal info! Will update for Andrew as the TS.

Caz1310 said...

Rita, being Australian and more into royal things than Americans I totally agree with your mega post above and such things have been common knowledge over here for years. The scandals that the family have hidden throughout generations is scandalous and across many topics. Rules which apply to normal folk and even HWood don't apply in royalty. That's why they were so unprepared for Diana's outing of many things. And so vicious towards her. And Fergie.

Rita said...

Tell me about it Caz! The difference between royalty and Hollywood? Royalty stays classy in the public eye, and more specifically, in front of the Queen. That woman puts the fear of God in her family. Good for her too, someone should keep them in lign!

As they say over there across the pond, Cheerio!

Always preferred Fruit of the Loops but hey, to each his own.

Charlene said...

Only thing is, the Duke of Schlongsbury is supposed to have a spouse according to the Sovereign Stein-Moongle BI. A spouse that doesn't know what he's getting up to.

Prince Andrew, no matter how creepy he may be, is unmarried and not in a long-term relationship of any kind.

So I think he's been eliminated.

Alexa said...

Charlene - Only if he was referring to Fergie. Andrew still lives with her even though they were divorced long ago. But I doubt it.

Alexa said...

So the HRHs that are left (excluding Charles, William & Harry):

Prince Edward, The Earl of Wessex
The Duke of Gloucester
The Duke of Kent
Prince Philip (521st in line of the throne)

sistah2 said...

Yes Ted did just say that this guy has a significant other, not specifically a spouse. So, that could elimintate Prince Andrew - if he does not have a girlfriend. He very well might, she just may not be very well known to us over here.

EnglishBarb said...

So Andrew. Makes Fergies financial woes and toe-sucking look amatuerish.