Friday, April 8, 2011

Blind Vice: Bitchy TV Cast Raises Hell, Nobody Cares

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Bitchy TV Cast Raises Hell, Nobody Cares
We're gonna do something completely different today. We've got a whole group of naughties we're gonna blab about, instead of our usual one or two scandalous contenders. Besides, last week's Vice was so depressing, I think we all need something a little a little sillier to gasp about.
Like this extremely popular TV show's bitchy little cast, not to mention the dumbest season finale we've ever heard:
Mulholland Estates is wildly popular, we really don't see why. Granted, the highly rated oddball series has a couple of super-talented celebs, but every time we tune in to watch them, we're usually so horrified by the plotlines they're forced to play out, it's impossible to make it through a full episode.
Could this be why several big names on the show are beyond bitchy over the upcoming shooting schedule for the show's finale, which is being filmed later this month?
"Everyone wants a different day off," says a reliable source on the show, "and they're all being told no, and they're very unhappy about it."
Apparently, this finale is such a grand denouement and so intricately planned, all hands on deck are required during the whole operation—with none of the cushy wrap-around shooting windows that have been permitted for the cast's varying outside projects in the past.
"They're raising hell about it," snapped the Mulholland vet.
Jeez, all we have to say is that the spoiled cast's bitching about totally the wrong thing.
You see, the grand final show that's being planned will be...are you ready?
A floating dinner party.
Whereas each cast member hosts a course for said dinner in his or her home.
This is what's supposed to leave Mullholland Estates' massive audience in cliff-hanger type suspense until the show comes back next season?
Well, maybe if one of the hosts had an orgy to go with her lemon meringue pie, then, maybe, we'd watch.
But trust, that ain't happenin', and, for that, we say this bland drivel is what the performers should be in a near-riot about, not some silly day off here and there.
And It Ain't: Modern Family, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Parks and Recreation

Top suspects: Desperate Housewives cast

Update April 14 - Ted has revealed this BV as the Desperate Housewives cast, and states that it was particularly normally nice cast member Kathryn Joosten that was joining in.

29 comments:

blurry vice said...

obvs desperate housewives?

Cyn said...

The Office or 30 Rock?

rynthetyn said...

Has to be Desperate Housewives.

roseyf said...

I don't watch the show, but this screamed Desperate Housewives. I checked the spoilers forum on TWOP and sure enough someone linked to this post on TV Guide:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Kecks-Exclusives-Desperate-1031431.aspx
that talks about the finale theme: "Guess Who's Dying At Dinner?"

I'm really bored with this BV. It's nothing but a poorly veiled spoiler, which is so NOT what I read Ted for. Where's the behind-the-scenes gossip? Being pissed that you can't take a vacation is hardly gossip.

blurry vice said...

roseyf - I agree! I don't watch and it's lame. Not the celeb goss we expect. No doubt he will reveal next week and then exclaim, "see, I reveal some!"

Adrienne said...

Ted's slipping. His vices are getting really sketchy and weak! And lately it seems he back tracks on so many vices either because his sources are bad or have asked him to take the heat off of someone. Hope he gets some better stuff soon because he's been really shady lately!

Leila said...

Speaking of boring BVs from Ted lately, the Gossip Boy has a very juicy blind item he put up earlier this week! Sisters- would you be interested in posting it on here? Seeing as how Ted's BV's are lacking...

The consensus seems to be Blake Lively, however I wonder if it could be Dianna Agron (perhaps it relates to Ted's sad story blind)?

http://thegossipboy01.blogspot.com/2011/04/ice-queen-cometh_04.html

Clancy said...

Once again, this doesn't sound like Ted's writing. At one point he says 'Whereas each cast member...' 'Whereas'?? I had to read that one a couple of times thinking how is that sentence different somehow from the last? He must have meant 'wherein' or something. Weird, Ted's usually spot on with grammar.
Close but no cigar faux-Ted, whoever you are.

DC said...

I also think either Ted isn't writing these, or he's on serious autopilot lately. When was the last time The Awful Truth had actual gossip? It's now mostly "Who should they cast in The Hunger Games/ A Liz Taylor movie nobody's actually making yet?" and "Let's guess who the blind items from Page Six are!"

Caz1310 said...

Agree wtih all of you. Desperate Housewives jumped the shark ages ago and I don't know anyone who watches it. This is hardly newsworthy. Sisters are there any other columnists besides Lainey & CDAN that you would consider religiously following on this forum, besides Ted?

talia said...

if you are in need of a new blind, how about this from janet chsrlton:
This squeaky clean sensation has an ugly side captured on tape! While recording a new album he broke into an impromptu rap – dropping derogatory terms about African Americans and Jews. SOMEHOW the tape wound up at a popular entertainment news show. They made a quick deal and, lo and behold, the tape was killed in exchange for numerous appearances by our bad boy!
"squeaky clean"? and male? there aren't that much possibilities for this one...!?!

hottie22 said...

Ewww, this is so lame. Wtf is up with Ted?

88 said...

Ewww, this is so lame. Wtf is up with Ted?

88 said...

Ok, woah weird. My account posted twice, one time as "hottie22" and another as my actual username. Who is hottie22?? LOL. Wow!

HKCCRCLC said...

This isn't gossip, this is stuff that's in the news (or will be in a few minutes), for crying out loud. So the Desperate Housewives staff are bitching because they all have to be on set at the same time for a change? Why bother, Ted, why? Just like the Morgan Mayhem item, where Lindsay's activities were covered through regular channels at the same time.

lelale said...

I think this is my final straw with Ted I think either he is being silenced by E or he is just too lazy to come up with something interesting...

sistah2 said...

Agreed with all yr comments...I am astounded that Ted actually listed this as a Blind Vice??
And to answer the above question, we'd love to post more Blinds, but we may miss some here and there...we cannot devote as much time as we'd need to.
Dont hesitate to email us with good ones to post & we'll try!
That Janet one is a bit obvious tho - she is saying its Justin B. I guess? Shocking if true, but why post it if there's not too much mystery there

Kate16 said...

I'm confused about what "no one cares" in the title refers to - the casts' demands or Ted's Blinds, because at this point, I'm thinking both.

David said...

The Awful Truth gets weirder and weirder. Today it's "guess the Blind Vice and win a prize"?! Is Ted C even monitoring what the interns are publishing in his name? And today's Bitch-Back is in a very distinctively non-Ted tone - much more direct and less playful. And the real Ted C would never outright say that Taylor Lautner is a "dirty boy" like that. Bizarre.

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

My guess is that this BV was so eye-rollingly obvious because it's a publicity stunt rather than actual BV. If it was too hard, no one would Twitter a guess or win whatever the Chelsea Handler prize is. That's too bad. It's not why I read Ted.

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog
/the_awful_truth/b235512_guess_blind_vice
_maybe_win_prize.html

blurry vice said...

I think part of the title says it all... "nobody cares".

Jamee said...

Seriously. Worst blind ever!

Viking Girl said...

I'm not sure Ted's even around anymore.

Adrienne said...

its like he has no sources anymore that are accurate unless they intentionally plant stuff for their clients... you know it's bad if he has to do the give away gimmick to keep interest!

lelale said...

my guess is he's being squeezed on both sides at E Chelsea Handler is in bed with Huvane who reps Aniston, Paltrow, and Kidman to name a few and we all know that Seacrest is a control freak. He probably can't print anything juicy even if he has something.

Viking Girl said...

Now I haven't really looked into past posts, but just take today for example: every post is by 'Ted Casablanca and....' the blind vice is is credited to 'Team Truth' . Only the Bitch Backs is credited to Ted himself, but it does'nt read like he is writing it . There's an answer to an Ashley Judd related question that I'm sure has been posted before, almost word for word. Ted! I hope you are ok, mate!

blurry vice said...

still snoozing...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog
/the_awful_truth/b236405_blind_vice
_we_have_winner.html

Kate16 said...

Anyone else think that the latest reponses have also been unneccessarily mean and catty? Like how Anne Hathaway isn't attractive for instance? Then he stands by it, and then in a third post he clarifies by saying she just isn't 'exotic'. What?

(As an aside - Sorry she's a beautiful, decent, oscar-nominated actress Ted, unlike moany, pouty, one-expression Kristen Stewart. My god his adoration for her is beyond old. Anyone else think Summit is paying him?)

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