Friday, March 18, 2011

Blind Vice: Sorry Girls, King Schlong Isn't All Yours

New from Ted 3/18/11 -

Blind Vice: Sorry Girls, King Schlong Isn't All Yours


Totally lovable (but totally slutty) King Schlong is a heartbreaker on so many levels, certain Hollywood women are now discovering. Not only has King stepped out on his current super-hot GF (many times), turns out he's also been rather adept at stepping out on the whole female race!
Here's what went down just this week:
Schlong's never been any good at keeping that extremely popular salami of his zipped up, this is a well-known, barely kept Hollywood secret. No surprise there.
But what was a shocker for one of King's avid, young and lusting female fans was the following:
Gorgeous Hollywood insider babe was talking to veteran Hollywood producer gal. "I just love King," she breathlessly confessed to the older woman, "and he's all man. That's what I love about him the most. Such a stud."
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (Special Collector's Edition)"Uh, honey," replied the more seasoned broad, who has worked with King in the past on one of his many A-list projects, "he's not exactly the man you think he is."
"What...what do you mean?" asked the younger T-town gal, who feared the worst (she considered), and pretty much got it.
"A few years ago, I walked in on King and [fellow A-list movie heartthrob], and they were just going at it in bed. So, look, he may be all man, but he doesn't mind sharing it with another man, get it?"
"No!" screamed the frightened woman, as if a man who sleeps with other men in Tinseltown is some kind of anomaly, far from it! "He's not...not gay, is he?"
"No, he's not gay gay," answered the producer-type, who was almost pitifully laughing at her dejected colleague. "But he sleeps with guys when he feels like it. Just don't think he's felt like in a while!"
The broken King fan was feeling a little better after hearing this news but, we gotta say we just don't get this hypocritical BS.
Why is it when women like Angelina Jolie say they've slept with other women, men think it's hot as hell, but when women hear it about men who have done the same with their own sex, they get all grossed out?
Totally sexist. Aren't women supposed to be the more evolved sex, anyway?
It Ain't: Chris O'Donnell, Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey
See Labels for previous King Schlong Blind Item, including list of Ted's eliminations.
Top Suspect: Leo DiCaprio

157 comments:

digal704 said...

Women are smarter than men. Point blank. A dude will get down with anything. Trust me. I see them pregnant at work every frigid day. Same sex having sex is only sexy if all partners are true to themselves and any past, present or future lovers.

Caz1310 said...

This doesn't read like Ted's usual prose. Whatcha think? Good golly Ted & team are stringing this one out...

pomme said...

OMG! this TED C's blind vice is comprehensible!!

medusa said...

So if it is Leo, who is the "fellow A-list movie heartthrob" he was going at it with a few years ago?

Kirby said...

@Caz, totally agree now too. It's possible, more than ever, that King Schlong is concocted by Ted for hits. Why use a weightless "conversation"? Because there's nothing else to base on. Why use gay drama? Because Ted wanks off on these guys.

How sad. I almost thought this vice was for real.

I said...

Matt Damon for the other guy.

Clancy said...

It's dubious, I agree, but if it is all legit, I can now board the Leo train. The one thing that was holding me back from thinking KS was him was that I'd heard he bats for the other team, so if he's at least swinging both ways I reckon he could be the mighty King Schlong. And let's face it, most other clues point to him, taking into account the massive process of elimination we've done and the fact Ted won't answer any BBs asking if KS is Leo.

The other A-list actor could be anyone, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx etc etc, but I'm taking a guess it's Brad Pitt because of the Angelina reference and because he's rumoured to be bisexual - Ted hints at his past dalliances in the Blind Vice Superstars gallery.

Leanne said...

This sounds like George Clooney to me

Jenna said...

Well, 'The Departed' came out in 2006 and both Matt Damon and Marky Mark :) were in it. There were a few female producers in addition to Brad Pitt...also a producer. Lots to work with there.

Have to say this one reads nothing like a Ted blind...bizarre.

Jenna said...

To clarify, Leonardo DiCaprio was of course also in 'The Departed'.

Jenna said...

AND just read that one of the only two female producers of 'The Departed', Kristin Hahn, was a bridesmaid at Brad and Jen's wedding.

It struck me as odd that a producer would be comfortable walking into an A-list actor's bedroom...but this would make a bit more sense.

Okay - that's all I got! :)

Clancy said...

Nice one Jenna!

Jasmine said...

But, would you guys describe Leo as "All Man".... I think he won't not him b/c hes the popular guess, Ted prob. wont AIA Cloony either, even though i could easily see him as Shlong. Wasn't there a BI recently about georgie getting it on with guys in his Italian Villa?? Plus his gf was just caught "going down" on someone hmmmm. IDK Ted totally pisses me off!
This Blind sucked! and sounded like the pr girl wrote it, not Ted!

Jasmine said...

oops, sorry didn't realize he AIA'd Cloony! Im just not totally sold on Leo!

Kirby said...

@Clancy, feels dubious, no? There's only one way I can still believe this blind: if there's a much better guess than Leo. That way we can justify Ted's lame toss as a hold-back.

pomme said...

@Jasmine: Ted C yet wrote King Schlong isn't George Clooney

blurry vice said...

Other A list actor: Tobey Maguire?

blurry vice said...

In answer to Ted's question, if he reads this. To be blunt, and I apologize if anyone is offended by this. I think in general it is the anus factor. I think in general people are grossed out with anything to do with the butt area ... possibly poop in the area, cross-contamination, that sort of thing. Male or female, it isn't a sexist thing against men I don't think. More of a hygiene sort of thing.

Cyn said...

And "Leo" means "lion" ("king" of the jungle)...

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong blond, brunet or possibly bald?
—Frenchy

Dear Locks of Love:
His hair is beautiful, just like the rest of his assets. The color is debatable."

Stacey said...

To answer Ted's question, I also think it has alot to do with evolutionary psychology. Straight men are turned on by visuals of women - one woman, two, 10, it doesn't matter. They're programmed to spread their seed everywhere.

Women are programmed to want one man, and they want that man to be devoted to them. They need that man to take care of them and their offspring.

And if you've experienced the way a straight man sexually desires a woman, it's shocking to think he could also desire a man.

It takes away the image that he could be a good provider for her. If a "straight man" desires men too, then there is a chance he will leave because he does not find her desirable. No woman wants to worry that her man will prefer men over her. That's why I believe most women don't want anything to do with dating men who could be gay. And why women don't want to imagine their matinee idols as having gay tendencies.

AndreaE said...

"That's why I believe most women don't want anything to do with dating men who could be gay"

But most women don't have a clue. The majority of gay/bi guys are just like your average hetero guy - the myth perpetuated by the media that all gay guys are camp queens is ridiculous ... so many gay guys look at them with as much disdain as hetero guys! Most of my gay friends are no different to my straight friends -well, apart from the fact they like penises! Just go on Craigslist 'Men for Men' & every 2nd post is "Masculine married for Bi/Straight/Married - discretion imperative" ... One of my gay friends in NYC only hooks up with married/straight men & he's never short of guys contacting him - helps that he's masculine & very good looking. Anyway, there's millions of women throughout the world who have no idea what their partner is getting up to. There was a recent study done which claimed that 1 in every 4 'straight' guys are closeted Bi/Bi-Curious ... That's why I don't find all the Bi/Gay closet cases in Hollywood all that surprising & the fact that I've been in LA long enough to know about the numerous industry whispers ... Anyway, I went completely off on a tangent -sorry! But I guess my main point is that sexuality isn't as black & white as 'gay/straight/bi' ... it's a pretty wide spectrum, there's lots of guys out there who like hooking up with other guys but would never contemplate being in a relationship with a guy - they solely want to be with women. I guess it's pretty complicated stuff once you start delving into the minds of individuals.

Michelle said...

Could gorgeous Hollywood insider be Ms. taryn Ryder herself? It just seems like a first person account and is told in a lot of detail. Some have said that is doesn't sound like ted's writing so maybe taryn wrote it because it actually happened to her.

sistah2 said...

Good point Andrea
Also good idea Michelle. Makes sense that this is why this detailed story (if true) just fell on Teds lap.
btw what happened to the Spie?

Jasmine said...

Also, Ted should realize that men are prob. turned on by the "Hollywood" version of two women... not the actual reality which is more Chaz Bono and Rossie O donnel.

Another non Leo description... body type: Jared Leto
That makes me think super skinny.

IDK, the only real manly man I could think of is Russel Crow but hes aussie with kids.

Caz1310 said...

Sista2 I have been wondering the same thing for ages. Miss his razor sharp insight. Maybe he's moved onto other things. Maybe he was part of Ted's team?

Kimstyle said...

OH OH OH!!! When someone mentioned Taryn, it clicked! Does Ryan Gosling fit? She's obsessed with him...

Kimstyle said...

Damnit!!! Just saw he was notted.... Thought I had something there... Hmmmm

I agree, it fits, but I just am not 100% sold on Leo...

rynthetyn said...

While this definitely seems to fit Leo, I still can't get past the part about KS attending the Oscars since there is no indication that Leo was there. I can't think of who else it could be though.

BTW, there are women who think two guys together is hot, that's pretty much what created the entire slash fiction writing community, there's an entire subset of Japanese manga dealing with that theme called yaoi, and is a big reason for the popularity of the show Torchwood.

Noah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kristin said...

alrighty everyone, for your consideration...
Aaron Eckhart!
he is 43 so age is right and everything else fits as far as broken engagement (dated and got engaged to super model Molly Simms then broke it off) and no kids eternal bachelor thing. He is hot in that I am the shizzz kind of way and I know he has not been nominated for an Oscar, but was for a golden globe for thank you for not smoking,
he has done TV (no voice overs)has appeared on stage and is manly and rugged looking (IMHO)
What do you guys think???

Freedom Writer said...

Aaron Eckhart isn't an A-lister though. This guy is A-lister, I still say it's Leo and I'm not sold on that second BV. It sounds like someone with a score to settle. And also Ted thinks everyone in Hollywood is bi or gay, so of course he's all for it.

Jasmine said...

I like the Aaron E. guess, but is his relationship high profile enough?? What about Mark Ruffalo?

I found this link really helpful, its all the official photos from the oscars (red carpet/ telecast/ etc)http://www.oscars.org/photos/index.html

I also asked Ted a KS question, so hope he answers!!

BTW, i re-read a bunch of BBs today and ted said clearly that "when KS is revealed it will make all the best BV guessers scratch there head, and say WTF"

Jasmine said...

One more link... (If you scroll down it shows presenters and performers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/83rd_Academy_Awards

IDK, Any thoughts on Robert Downy Jr or Josh Brolin??

Jakey G and Justin T were also there...

Freedom Writer said...

Jasmine, KS is single, not married. Ted describes him as the eternal bachelor. Those people you mentioned are married. Also Justin has already been ruled out and Jake Gylenhal doesn't have a hot girlfriend, he's single... and this guy is supposed to be really hot and Mark Ruffalo doesn't fit that for me at all. Mark Ruffalo is married too btw.

Jasmine said...

I know freedom, Im just throwing out names of people who were absolutely AT the oscars. I totally realize Jake and Justin have BVs already, as does Leo.

I actually re-watched the entire ceremony. Ted has me completely confused on this.

Kelly said...

The Angelina Jolie mention could also point to the fact that Leo was one of the top suspects for the Pete Poked/Trent Spent blind. Brad Pitt is obviously the top suspect for TS. It might be a stretch, but it's a thought.

-KADixonLaw

Stacey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacey said...

AndreaE - You make some very good points. What I meant in my post is that if a woman knows or suspects a man is gay, she's not likely to want to date him seriously (I'm not including bearding relationships in that though).

For example, you mentioned that some men dally with other men, but will only seriously date women (which is true). What I meant was, if most women knew that their man was dallying with men, they would not want to date him seriously (that's what I think anyway - doesn't mean I'm right! :)

Noah said...

On what planet is Aaron E NOT A list??? Yes he hasnt won an award, but he gets really good roles, is a fantastic actor and well respected, he commands a room and has woman falling all over him. I mean besides the Leo guess, I think he fits the blind the best given the clues. I think everyone is looking too hard for an obvious answer and given Ted has notted every big name (except Leo of course) I think we need to find a less obvious answer. I think Aaron flies just enough under the radar but is still A-list (enough) to be considered for KS

Also I have noticed after re-reading blinds that have pretty much been revealed, that when Ted describes a person he is a little generous when it comes to things like how hot they are or their star quality... unless he cant stand them like Nicole Kidman.

Sorry if I come across as defensive, I really like my guess!

kristin said...

On what planet is Aaron E NOT A list??? Yes he hasnt won an award, but he gets really good roles, is a fantastic actor and well respected, he commands a room and has woman falling all over him. I mean besides the Leo guess, I think he fits the blind the best given the clues. I think everyone is looking too hard for an obvious answer and given Ted has notted every big name (except Leo of course) I think we need to find a less obvious answer. I think Aaron flies just enough under the radar but is still A-list (enough) to be considered for KS

Also I have noticed after re-reading blinds that have pretty much been revealed, that when Ted describes a person he is a little generous when it comes to things like how hot they are or their star quality... unless he cant stand them like Nicole Kidman.

Sorry if I come across as defensive, I really like my guess!

kristin said...

sorry for the double post I didn't Know my hubby was signed into his gmail and I dont have his info to delete first post oops!!!

Jasmine said...

^Kristen, I like your thinking! Ted said this would have the best BV guessers scratching there heads, so I think while Leo totally fits, it may be someone we are missing.

I had a major idea on the LA party girl... Remember Tiger Woods Mistress Rachel Uchitel(think thats her name)! She is famous just for sex like ted said, she absolutely used to live in NYC, where SuperDC (John) and Cresent (Chace) live, and lives in LA now, she moved out there after Celeb. Rehab.(for sex addiction) I think it could be her. It may not be super important but if we can link her to certain stars it may give us a better clue! Plus remember the Eric Dane sex tape that was surrounding her!

SVM said...

I also think it´s Leo. Have you guys already seen this?

http://www.celebitchy.com/3763/magazine_gets_tobey_maguires_mom_to_dish_on_his_close_friendship_with_leonardo_dicaprio_image_nsfw/

I don´t know any strictly straight guy who´d be so confortable with another guy´s penis so close like that. Maybe it´s just me, but i think this image is very compromising.

Also, Tobey for the A list partner in crime?

talia said...

seeing that picture... are you sure that tobey isn't ks...? ;P

pomme said...

@talia: King isn't married and has no kid so King isn't Tobey McGuire

talia said...

@pomme...
... that was just for fun ;P
... because i was impressed by the picture!

kristin said...

ok i looked at the pic and it looks photoshopped to me... idk i stand by my Aaron E guess :P

Freedom Writer said...

Kristin, but who's the super hot girlfriend that he's paraded all around the world? as far as I know Aaron is single right now, so I still don't see it. I would say it's a good guess, if Ted didn't keep mentioning the hot girlfriend and him being an A-lister. He's a great actor, but I wouldn't call him A-lister. I could be wrong though, just my two cents.

Jasmine said...

What about Adrien Brody?? Hes A list, has a body like Jered Leto, and was at the Oscars!

Does he already have a BV?? Plus hes not married, and has flowing hair... a bit greasy i know! Plus he would be considdered good looking in that "I know im the sh*t" kinda way. WAS IN KING KONG!!! Hes topping my list!!!

Jasmine said...

OMG ITS SOOO HAS TO BE ADRIEN BRODY!!! Sorry for double posting but hes most recently linked with January Jones, the rest are model esque. Plus as i said above King Kong obv. rhymes with Schlong, and schlong could also mean large nose!

Heres his "whosdatedwho" page
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/people/dating/adrien-brody.htm

Freedom Writer said...

Hi Jasmine, Ted said KS's hair color is debatable. Adrien has brown hair, the one with debatable hair color is Leo b/c it ranges from blonde to brown sometimes. Also remember Ted said he loves the leggy ladies. Elsa Pataky his long time gf, was a petite woman. And he hasn't flaunted January Jones all over the world. I'm just keeping all the hints that Ted has given us in mind. Adrien is definitely A-lister but he still doesn't fit. Who's the hot girlfriend? He hasn't dated anyone seriously since Elsa Pataky. Also I remember Ted saying his hot girlfriend matches KS's hotness. Read below: that doesn't sound like Adrien to me:/

So, it only makes sense he found an equally yummy counterpart whom he has flaunted all over the world.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b221746_blind_vice_king_schlong_cant_keep_it_in.html#ixzz1HBk2uNtN

Jessica said...

I found this post interesting (from one of the BB): "Dear Ted:
Could King Schlong be Bradley Cooper?
—Shores

Dear Searching for Schlong:
Schlong is obviously too much for everyone to handle since all these guesses are so wrong it burns his well-proportioned business. He's bigger than Brad."

It's the mention that he's bigger than Brad that caught my attention. How many male celebrities are bigger than Brad Pitt?? Not many, and the ones I would guess have all been "notted." While I don't think Leo has the most rabid fan-base, he does seem like the best choice at this point. I don't see Aaron Eckhart being bigger than Leo or Brad, since you can't (usually) have a conversation with just Aaron's first name and have people know what you're talking about. I remember talking to one of my friends about him a few weeks ago, and she still couldn't remember him after his full name and his biggest movies.

sistah2 said...

When Ted said 'bigger than Brad' he referred to Bradley Cooper, not B. Pitt

pomme said...

@jasmine: actually Leo has brown hair for Eastwood's Hoover movie so the major guess is always Leo "salami" Dicaprio

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

I would definitely scratch my head if Adrien Brody was King Schlong. Leo I could see (unless he means we'd be surprised because his flaccid penis is so small in "Total Eclipse"). I even wouldn't be surprised about Leo having sex with men because I've heard those rumors before. So far, there is nothing about this blind being Leo that would surprise me.

Therefore, although it fits Leo beautifully, I don't think it's him. I think Aaron Eckhart is a great guess (though I'm pretty certain it's wrong). Is there anyone Aaron Eckhart-like but with a modelesque girlfriend?

Jasmine said...

Im still sticking with Adrien Brody! His hair being debatable could mean he should be going grey, or he needs to start washing it lolz!! But Everything else imo fits, his gf Sky was a very famous model/international dj.

I would def., as ted says, "scratch my head and say wtf" to him, b/c hes not my idea of cute, but i suppose in the"i am the sh*t" way he is.

Biggest thing for me is that he WAS at the oscars!

Leo is sooo obv. it cant be him! I emailed Ted and directly asked him if it was Adrien, so hopefully if it isn't he will not him! Actually i emailed him twice so i hope he answers the 2nd que!

Freedom Writer said...

Jasmine, who is Adrien Brody dating at the moment? Ted says this hot gf and KS, have been traveling around the world with his A-lister friends. It's a good guess, but he broke up with Sky a while ago, looks like this was back in 2003. And I can't find who he's currently with, nothing comes up on google.

Freedom Writer said...

KS is dating someone currently, he is not single. So it has to be someone who is in a relationship. this is from the original BV. Notice how Ted says while his "girlfriend's away" this implies someone who's in a relationship at the moment..see below

So, it only makes sense he found an equally yummy counterpart whom he has flaunted all over the world.

But does she know where her man's penis plays when she's away?

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b221746_blind_vice_king_schlong_cant_keep_it_in.html#ixzz1HCiP8K7i

Kelly said...

It seems like Adrien Brody and Aaron Eckhart were discussed and eliminated in the record-breaking discussion following the first KS blind. The two, along with other awesome suggestions like Jeremy Renner and Ryan Gosling, were all discounted due to the fact that they don't appear to have CURRENT girlfriends. If the girlfriend isn't someone we can think of, odds are she isn't being "flaunted" around the world.

Leo may be obvious, but even Ted has said, in the past, that sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one.

And that's my two cents. : )

-KADixonLaw

Kelly said...

I forgot to add to my previous post that KS's identity may not be what causes long-time BV-guessers to scratch their heads. If Leo is KS, that means that Ted is now bending his own rules due to the fact that Leo's previous blind has never been revealed. The mere possibility that Ted may not be following his own rules (e.g. Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson) has definitely been a "wtf," moment for many of us because it's a total game changer.

KADixonLaw

kcwin said...

I think Ted just gave a strong hint (kind of like a confirmation in my book) on KS and T2 in today's BB.

pomme said...

Ted:
Is King Schlong Anderson Cooper?
—I

Dear Silver-Haired King:
Sorry, doll, Anderson may be the king of TV, but he's not King Schlong. Wrong line of work for Mr. S

Dear Ted:
Is Jake Gyllenhaal King Schlong and is Leonardo DiCaprio Toothy Tile?
—L

Dear Confident:
Trying to slip in two guesses there, huh? Leo ain't Toothy.

Dear Ted:
Is James Franco the infamous King Schlong? What a total package that would make!
—Bubbles

Dear Unwrapping the Truth:
It's not a bad guess, but James is far too eccentric to be K.S. Plus, he's a whole other Blind Vice repeater!

Dear Ted:
Rough day, give me something yummy. Is Ryan Reynolds our infamous King Schlong? The thought makes me so happy.
—Dreamingaway

Dear On the Prowl:
Best guess of the batch, babe! They are equally as dreamy, no doubt. King is more respected, critically.

Dollie said...

I just sent him an email asking if this is Chris Pine?. He fits the age, looks and is reportedly dating the actress from "V". Other than that, this has got to be Leo. It's not Paul walker ( I can't see him being upset the academy overlooked him ). The same for Chris Evans. Josh Lucas is too old for Schlong and Sam worthington is Australian. Those are all the blondes that are single with no kids in Hollywood that fit that age bracket. If he nots Chris Pine, then it has to be Leo. IMO.

Dollie said...

Maybe i am reaching, but he did make his film debut in "The Princess Diaries 2" as Lord Devereaux, an heir to the crown. That's all i have..lol

Dollie said...

He was also seen dating Jasmine Waltz. the same girl that blabbed about sleeping with David Arquette at the end of last year. She was in the tabloids and she owns her sluttiness. I don't think she is a publicist though.

pomme said...

Chris Pine isn't A list, isn't critically successful,has not a famous girlfriend,wasn't in Oscar show physically or only in a shetch and he's not snubbed by Oscar

Dollie said...

Chris Pine is considered the new A list and his current girlfriend is on the tv show "V".

http://www.accesshollywood.com/chris-pine-leads-the-hollywood-reporters-new-young-a-list_article_39564

sistah2 said...

Sorry but no way Chris Pine is considered A list by Ted or anyone else. Teds latest bitch backs indicate he wants us to think this is LEO

pikespeak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pikespeak said...

I don't think this is Pine, guys.

Kelly said...

@Dollie... Would you say that Chris Pine is more critically respected than Ryan Reynolds? Would you say that Chris Pine is "bigger than Brad[ley Cooper]?"

I'm not sure that Chris Pine, while it is true that he is a rising star and he certainly rocks, is a bigger star or is more respected than the aforementioned guys. Thus, I can't see Pine being the (even) more critically respected Schlong; girlfriend, Oscars attendance, Jasmine Waltz, etc. aside.

He is yummy, though! ; )

-KADixonLaw

Dollie said...

I think Chris Pine is more critically acclaimed than bradley Cooper. Cooper's movies are the Hangover, Case 39, He's just not that in to you. I don't think those are considered very critically acclaimed, though they were good movies. So, that is my guess right now. If he nots him than i give up and stop guessing and say this is Leo. Even though several of his clues have eliminated Leo on this one. IDK..lol.

Dollie said...

What did Ted say his rule again is for vice's names? Does he give them a name if they co starred in a Vice and does he change their name once they get their own blind vice?.

Rita said...

No one but Leo fits more the description. Especially when speaking about critically acclaimed movies, but snubbed by Oscar.

Would like to point out again, that Hollywood men, as well as women, view sexuality quite differently then us, regular folks. MANY, MANY straight men have sex with other men for carreer/role purposes, or simple attraction. You have no idea how many A-list «Macho-hetero» men have slept around with other men. That is what I perceive when saying that we are hypocrits, for thinking it is ok for women to sleep with other women, but not men to sleep with other men, even when considered heterosexuals.

That being said, there is another matter that weighs in the balance. Sex partners under the influence: when high (coke or whatever), a party turns sexual, with whatever partner at hand. A lot of so-called straight men have sex with men when high. Whether hidden desires fly to the surface, or simply following a need for sex with whomever available, when you're high, your choices are not the same as when you are sober. A fact, that we tend to forget. Also, another fact, coke is quite used in a «blazĂ©» manner in H-Town: no party, is a good party, without a silver platter of «Party Favours» being passed around.

Still think Leo is king schlong, having slept with men, only confirms his climb to the top, when back then, he was still fighting his way there.

Rita said...

To the sisters: great blind today from Lainey
http://www.laineygossip.com/Ladies_Room_Encounter_blind_riddle_21mar11.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0
She had notted already Katherine Heigle and and Kate Hudson!

Jasmine said...

Ugh, the BBs today totally point to Leo, I agree!
I would never call Adrien Brody "dreamy" :-)
It sooo bothers me that the skanky Jasmine Waltz has the same first name as me, for the record im in my 30s and was not named after a disney movie!
Also,to anyone guessing Chris Evans, I know him, ive been to his place in Boston and hes def. not imo, KS. I think hes gay, i have no proof of that but from my interactions w/ him it points in that direction.
The problem i have with KS, is that his Blind is kinda dull, Teds trying to make him into a BV superstar but hes not very exciting imo.

Dollie said...

This is a BB from November of 2010. To me this kind of eliminates Leo now. ted said King has been a co star in a vice before?.

Dear Ted:
I am obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp. They are amazing actors and extremely gorgeous. Do they have any skeletons in their closets or subjects of a Blind Vice?
—Ash

Dear A-List Skeletors:
Those two are also at the top of our randy radar—too bad we can't say they're as Vicey as the rest. Leo's a fine man. I doubt he would get into any real shady business. And Johnny? Well, he's as fun-shady as they come, but there's no hiding that!

sistah2 said...

I think most people on this board agree that BBack of Ted's actually does NOT eliminate Leo (see previous KS thread from Jan. for that discussion)

Passing Through said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

Completely agree, sistah!! In fact, I posted the following comment on 3/19 in the thread for the first KS blind:

"If I remember correctly, one of the clues is that KS did have a previous BV, although he played a small role. I believe it was one of the first clues that Ted tossed out. If I'm right, then that's one of the clues that Leo fit."

In the case of KS, having a previous blind qualifies Leo (or whoever) for this blind instead of ruling him out.

-KADixonLaw

ECFan said...

Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Why is Ted always a day late and a dollar short with his blind items? Ted is older than I am, but I've heard rumors about Leo being bisexual since the mid-90s. That doesn't negate Leo being "a fine man" as Ted called him, but then again, look who it's coming from. Leo's been known to step out on his girlfriends in the past and in most people's books "fine men" don't cheat and have no conscience about it. And if you're looking for Leo's A-list tryst Johnny Depp wouldn't be a stretch. Or do people really think he and River Phoenix were merely platonic friends? LMAO. Yeah, right. Sure. Whatever.

ECFan said...

One other Ted knock - Why does he have to drag Angelina Jolie into every blind item about gay people? So she slept with a woman, big whoop. The diff here is that she admitted it and isn't hiding in the closet. Being open about your sexuality a different world for men than women, but it's one of the few times women have the upper hand. Ted needs to get over his obsessive hatred for Jolie. It colors damned near everything he writes about. No matter how much he rags on her - Brad Pitt is NOT going to leave her and turn gay for Ted. Sorry, Ted, it's just not going to happen, dude. He's been lusting after Pitt for over 20 years. It's time to get over it already Pitt. Pitt has Ted banned from just about every event he's a part of. You'd think Ted would realize that he's creeping Pitt out with the whole 20 years of stalking thing.

ECFan said...

Jenna said...
AND just read that one of the only two female producers of 'The Departed', Kristin Hahn, was a bridesmaid at Brad and Jen's wedding.

It struck me as odd that a producer would be comfortable walking into an A-list actor's bedroom...but this would make a bit more sense.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sorry, I have to correct you here - Kristin Hahn DID NOT have a producing credit on The Departed and neither did Pitt or Aniston. If you got the info from the IMDB it's wrong - but no shock there because they frequently have the wrong info.

Pitt and his former partner at Plan B, Brad Grey, who's now the president of Paramount, are the ones who bought the rights to the movie and when Martin Scorsese signed on to direct the movie he brought in producer Graham King - and Pitt and Grey stepped aside. That's why neither of them were nominiated for an Oscar as producers and Graham King was the sole recipient of the Oscar when The Departed won Best Picture.

For the record, Hahn was an employee of Plan B when Pitt and Grey bought the rights but by the time The Departed went into production 2005 she had been fired from Plan B by Pitt for breaking her confidentiality agreement. Aniston was ticked because she said she gave Hahn permission to speak to Vanity Fair. The only problem ws - Aniston herself was no longer an official partner in Plan B and Pitt was the sole owner of the company as stipulated in their new production agreement with Paramount.

In other words - Pitt wasn't a producer for The Departed beyond the purchase, hiring William Monahan to write the script and asking Scorsese to direct. He had really didn't have much to do with the project after it was turned over to Scorsese and King. And Hahn didn't even do that much on project. She got producing credits on some of Plan B's early movies strictly because she and Aniston are friends.

sistah2 said...

EC - thanks for your comments. Keep posting as we like the inside scoop!

I said...

@Rita: LOL thanks for posting. Who do you think it is? Halle Berry is my guess.

Clancy said...

Cyn, that could totally be a Leo clue. That one's been there in front of us the whole time!

Rita said...

Also, Leo did not have a standard upbringing. I think his family was part of the same sect/community than River Phoenex and co. The community was very open about sex, introducing a very young Leo and River to the practices. Think I read this a few years ago in Vanity Fair, or something. Will try to look it up again. His outlook on sexuality and standards is quite different than your average North American more sexually reserved upbringing. Bisexuality in this case is nothing to lose sleep over.

blurry vice said...

Dollie - we are aware. TEd has said that Leo has had a BV before. He also said KS was a supporting role in a BV before.

Rita said...

Blurry - I think Leo was featured in a Bv, but don't think he was monikered yet. Has the name King Schlong ever appeared in a BV before the new one ABOUT king schlong... am I making sense?

Brandon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Emily Alder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr.DuckyDuck said...

In the BB today, Ted said that Sean Penn was a good guess for KS. Does that mean it's correct? Or does that mean it's Ryan Reynolds? Maybe he's pissy about being overlooked for an Oscar for "Buried" (and I don't mean that in a bitchy way-- I actually thought that movie was really good). When was the last time Ted said RR doesn't have a BV?

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

Ugh. Nevermind. I can't find any reference to Ryan Reynolds ever being on stage and I don't think he was at the Oscars.

Maybe we'll be scratching our heads because KS is older (like Sean Penn).

pikespeak said...

What about Liam Neeson for King Schlong?

I've heard nothing but stories about Liam slutting around town with women and yes even men...in particular Bradley Cooper, and we know that Bradley likes the guys older, but nevermind that.

And Liam's endowment is of legend. Numerous actresses have commented on it.

Kelly said...

It's tough to keep all of the clues straight since this one has had so much activity, but wasn't KS supposed to be younger than Clooney (born in '61)??

If so, Liam Neeson is out.

-KADixonLaw

Freedom Writer said...

Yes, Ted said that KS is younger than Clooney, so it's not Neeson. And Ted already said it's not Ryan Reynolds.

carriestamenov said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paicho said...

Hey all,

I agree with the top guess for Leo, but I had a thought. What about Jonathan Rhys Meyers? He has played "The King" in several different roles starting with Elvis Presley in the CBS mini-series Elvis (2005) (TV) and later portraying "King Henry VIII" in the Showtime program "The Tudors" (2007). He also was very skinny for things like Velvet Goldmine and bulked up recently, he also has won a Golden Globe. What do you think? I beleive he is a popular guess for something else but just thought I would put it out there.

Rita said...

Paicho, it's a good guess, except for the critically acclaimed and snubbed by the academy. Between Jonathan and Leo, this fits Leo a lot more. Especially on the player part.

That being said, in support of your Jonathan guess (being contradictory here, sorry), he did have a flaming red-hot relationship with John Travolta while filming From Paris with Love (shitty movie). You simply need to see some of their interviews together while promoting the movie: Jonathan was so flirty with John.

Well, I've just moved your guess to the top of my list!

Will write Ted with JRM for King. Hope he gives a non-answer.

Cheryl said...

hey, all. love the site but have never written before. why has no one mentioned the post in a recent bb where someone asked if toothy tile is leo dicaprio and king shlong is jake gyllenhaal, and ted answers that leo isn't toothy tile? i thought ted was basically confirming the reverse answers to be correct...

Freedom Writer said...

I agree with you Cheryl, that is what I thought too... Why else would he put those two names together like that, I think that was a huge give away right there. At least for me, I'm convinced that it's Leo...but it's fun to play guessing game. I think JRM is a good guess too, but someone asked Ted whether KS would be a domestic or imported beer, he said Domestic. To me that implies KS is American.

sistah2 said...

That bitch back was posted upthread. You can make of it what you want - you might be right - however it seems another one of Teds cryptic non answers that is up for interpretation.

Bubulle said...

I've not been here for a while and I'm stunned that people are still trying to figure it out who's KS. It's definitely Leo DiCaprio. And Paicho it can't be Jonathan Rhys Meyers, because Ted says that KS is an american and JRM is irish I think. Please read Ted BB there're countless and obvious clues that are pointing to LDC, I can't remember a single time where Ted have been so obvious with a blind vice, I guess he's surprised and amused that people are still trying to guess this one. So please people move on this one is solved.

Freedom Writer said...

LOL Bubelle, I agree with you.

Kelly said...

LOL! Completely agree with @Bubelle too! And with @sistah re: Ted's answer to the Leo/Jake G. guess being one of his typical non-answers. It seems that, again, the obvious answer is the also the correct one. LEO FTW!!! : )

In regards to the JRM guess, I think he's become well known for his role on the Tudors and Ted has indicated (more than once) that KS is not a television actor. While JRM has also been in numerous movies, I think the fact that he's also on the small screen eliminates him.

-KADixonLaw

blurry vice said...

from the past 3 bitch-backs:

"

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Anderson Cooper?
—I

Dear Silver-Haired King:
Sorry, doll, Anderson may be the king of TV, but he's not King Schlong. Wrong line of work for Mr. S.


Dear Ted:
Is Jake Gyllenhaal King Schlong and is Leonardo DiCaprio Toothy Tile?
—L

Dear Confident:
Trying to slip in two guesses there, huh? Leo ain't Toothy.


Dear Ted:
Is James Franco the infamous King Schlong? What a total package that would make!
—Bubbles

Dear Unwrapping the Truth:
It's not a bad guess, but James is far too eccentric to be K.S. Plus, he's a whole other Blind Vice repeater!


Dear Ted:
Rough day, give me something yummy. Is Ryan Reynolds our infamous King Schlong? The thought makes me so happy.
—Dreamingaway

Dear On the Prowl:
Best guess of the batch, babe! They are equally as dreamy, no doubt. King is more respected, critically.


Dear Ted:
I have two guesses for King Schlong. One is Sean Penn, because something about the name sounds right, and the other is Ryan Gosling because, oh my, can't

finish this letter at work.
—Kiki

Dear Blind Sided:
Penn is quite a good guess.


Dear Ted:
I can't seem to shake the feeling that King Schlong is Brad Pitt. Am I at least in the right age group?
—Kate

Dear Generation Gap:
Hardly that much difference in age between Schlong and Brad, but higher or lower, 10 years or so. They both definitely make the same age group hot and heavy

for them, though.


Dear Ted:
I love, love all the Blind Vices. Earlier you had said that King Schlong has not done any voice-over work. I just want you to clarify this because I am so

sick of the lame guesses that are going on.
—mickeynorm

Dear Voice of a God:
Schlong has one sexy voice, but no, he has not been a voice-over for a cartoon of sorts, if that is what you are all bitchin' about.


Dear Ted:
For all the gossip, I only trust you. Is King Schlong Channing Tatum?
—ifyouseekamy143n
Dear Cool Down:
This hot race to figure out Schlong is starting to take over some of your lives. Chill out, people! And no it's not Channing, and if I get that guess one

more time I'm going to boycott the King questions. I kid, I kid. I love this game as much as the rest of you. Plus, Schlong is too hot to boycott. Thanks for

the love and trust, doll!"

blurry vice said...

What does everyone think about the Sean Penn answer? Not a yes or no answer, and a very close guess?

blurry vice said...

Cheryl, it is what it is, in black and white. Anyone can propose a question like that to him and people do all the time. Think what you want of it.

blurry vice said...

Jonathan Rhys Myers is already a BV. Although recently that means nothing to Ted. But he has said numerous times that he has one already.

Fish said...

Blurry Vice et al,

The Sean Penn comment definately made me stop and think. Both Sean and Leo were born in California, have famous friends, and high profile relationships. Other than that...I've got nothing.

Ted does seem to point to Leo at every turn. The Brad Pitt clue states ~10 years younger (or older - which doesn't work with previous clues). Leo is 10 years younger.

The only thing that I don't get about this is...I think Leo lost his looks about 5 years ago. He's kind of doughhy and bland now, so I don't see him as hot anymore. Before, sure but think of how he looked in his last 2 films, Inception and Shutter Island. Great actor, not a hottie! What do others think?

kristin said...

I was standing by my Aaron Eckhartt guess until that BB where he said 10 years above or below Brad, and given the previous clue that KS is younger the George Clooney you have to go younger as stated above. Brad was born 1963 and Leo was born 1974, so close enough for me
I am jumping on the Leo train
woooohoooooo ALL ABOARD!

Freedom Writer said...

and also guys Sean Penn is older than George Clooney, so can't be him either. What really sealed the deal for me was when Ted said his hair color was debatable. Leo's hair color ranges from blond to medium brown at times...there's just too many clues that fit for me. I'm on the LD train too Kristin. I just can't think of anyone else who fits as closely as he does.

Stacey said...

And Sean Penn was married and has kids. The only thing holding me back anymore was the voiceover work thing, and Ted made it clear today he was talking about cartoon voiceover work. Um ok, should have checked imdb on that before answering, Ted. About King Schlong rocking a stage, maybe he means presenting at the Oscars. I'm totally sold on Leo now. All the questions about Leo in the bitch backs were hints too I think. What's so funny is that Blurry Vice nailed it in the very first guess in the original post and we all spent time trying to disprove it. Ted must have found that funny if he read it.

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

My take on the Sean Penn answer: Sean Penn gave a lot of great performances in his career that were ignored by the academy and didn't get the recognition until he was older. My thought is that if we are comparing him to Leo, they kind of have a similar career trajectory, with Leo giving a lot of well respected performances that did not get the award season recognition. Just a thought..

Also....is Ryan Gosling still on the table for this?? I didn't consider Ted's answer to be notting him. He is the only person to me that is similar enough to Leo to be a serious contender for this. This blind is still giving me a headache though. ;)

MH

Kirby said...

@Michelle, Ted notted Ryan. Thank goodness, though.

That being said, really, nobody thinks this blind is starting to reek of non-credible?

Dollie said...

I sent this in to Ted and it was in yesterday's BB. I sent this in at the same time i did asking him if King schlong was Chris Pine. he didn't answer that email.


Dear Ted:
I was wondering if you could please straighten something out for me? In a previous Bitch-Back, you said that Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't as Vicey as the others and was a fine man. Does this mean he has never had a Vice or never costarred in someone else's?
—Dollie

Dear Dirty Leo:
Even a fine man can have his not-so-fine moments. Believe me. Whatever his role is in my Blind Vice archive, it's not one we would fully hate on.

So, IDK how to read his answer. I also sent him an email today specifically about Chris Pine. I just want him to not Pine and then this has to be Leo. There isn't anyone else out there at this point.

kristin said...

I took that response as saying that he is KS, meaning that even though he has a vice it isn't the worst one... i.e. having a big ego about his huge package and stepping out on his super model GF as opposed to ordering some hotel staff to round up boy toys and blow like some other vicey characters!

Freedom Writer said...

It's not Chris Pine guys!!

Dear Ted:
The King Schlong Blind Vice has us stumped...just throwing a guess out there. Chris Pine?
—julesc2010

Dear Stuck in Stumpedland:
Nope, not Pine. I mean, don't you think the fact that he brags about his situation makes it a little suspicious? Schlong doesn't do interviews about what he's packing. He just knows. And that's enough for him and those lucky gals...and guys.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b232732_bitch-back_could_offices_cutsey_nerd.html#ixzz1HcOb4Gw9

raymond said...

Anyone thought about Matt Dillon!

I said...

Poor Teddy.

His new BV today referenced King Schlong (though it was not about him) when he questioned why oh why don't women consider it sexy when a man goes down on a man. So here is a possible answer for Ted (which I also posted in the E! comments):

The reason why girl-on-girl is seen differently to boy-on-boy is because, in the heads of girls and boys, they ARE different.

There was a study out a while ago using MRI imaging on men and women who identified as either homosexual or heterosexual (I don't believe bisexuals were considered).

They found that the brain (pleasure centre) of hetero women lit up at the sight of a sexually desirable man OR woman but that the brains of hetero men only lit up at the sight of a sexually desirable woman. (You can google to try and find the study...it was done about 5 years or so ago I believe.)

When I read this study it was not a surprise to me at all and maybe others were similarly unsurprised.

Generally, hetero women want relationships with hetero men and may not trust that a man (as opposed to a woman) who blows another of the same sex is hetero. Just a potential explanation.

Now my problem with Ted:

Ted has opined in the past about how "once a cheater, always a cheater" and how terrible it is, etc.

However, according to Ted, Leo is a "fine man" and his vice is not bad at all. Therefore, if KS is Leo then it's okay if he cheats on women..it's not that bad. Why? Because Ted finds him attractive and wants him?

jules said...

first time posting, long time lurking. anyways, I asked the Pine question today..i didnt think King Schlong was him since he doesnt have a serious gf he's flaunted all over the world. But I wanted him notted just to be sure. This is totally Leo. that was my first guess and after all the clues, its still the top one.

Kirby said...

@raymond, not at all for the Oscar. Also, I believe there was an interview where Matt admitted he was "small".

@Dollie, is he even fully-aware of his assets, or career trajectory?

Sigh, everyone is so in on this blind, even Ted noticed...

...there will be more KS in the future.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
First, let me tell you that my day is not complete without reading a little Awful Truth (sometimes more than once a day). I have a guess for King

Schlong...could it be Ryan Gosling? Love ya.
—Marti

Dear Schlonging Around:
I will say it over and over: Ry is too presh to be arrogant about his assets. Schlong has got it going on, and he shows that he knows it.


Dear Ted:
Is Miley Cyrus Me-Me Dallas? Is King Schlong David Beckham? Just throwing some guesses out there! My pups say hi!
—lcm_1972

TWITTER: Follow Ted

Dear Vicey Guesstamator:
Those are some buh-rilliant guesses, doll! Especially David for Schlong. It's too bad we all know he's overcompensating. Kisses to your pooches!


Dear Ted:
The King Schlong Blind Vice has us stumped...just throwing a guess out there. Chris Pine?
—julesc2010

Dear Stuck in Stumpedland:
Nope, not Pine. I mean, don't you think the fact that he brags about his situation makes it a little suspicious? Schlong doesn't do interviews about what

he's packing. He just knows. And that's enough for him and those lucky gals...and guys."

07554334-5711-11e0-9a86-000f20980440 said...

Jasmine, u think chris evans is gay?? I hope he isnt. Hes so hot.

Kamilla said...

@Blurry: I thought of Tobey Maguire as the other guy as well.

(Now that you all convinced me that KS is Leo..:))

Ado said...

(shoot, that was me again, Ado, using my sis's log in.. sorry!!)

@Blurry: I thought of Tobey Maguire as the other guy as well.

(Now that you all convinced me that KS is Leo..:))

Clancy said...

I can see Tobey for the counterpart except for the bit about him being 'A-List Movie Hearthrob' material. Mmmm, you reckon?

Kelly said...

@Clancy... Agreed on the Tobey count. I think he's A-list, but I don't find him appealing. At all.

Ado said...

@Kelly: agree. Tobey Maguire has been A-List due to the Spiderman-franchise, but I don't like him either.
Wasn't he envy-gossiped to be a kind of dealer to Leo upgraded then to become his friend and then an actor..??)

Someone could ask Ted, if KS's boy-fling is considered an all-time A-List (like J.Depp) or a has-been A-List, like T.Maguire..

I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I said...

I doubt Maguire was a straight-up dope dealer and then became a friend to Leo and then actor. From his history growing up he was probably an actor/drug dealer and met Leo at auditions and became his friend/dealer all the while being an actor as well. Geez, how many people have I met who are actor/personal trainers, actor/CSRs, actor/models/whatever....and this in Toronto. I can imagine LA is much worse.

That being said Maguire strikes me as a sleazy opportunist. He was friends with Leo and Leo got him lots of acting roles. And you know he married his entitled and unfortunate looking wife SOLELY b/c she is the daughter of Mayer as in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Ugh. He looks so gross and skeezy to me. What a user that guy is.

Cathy said...

@I - What does the fact that you consider TM's wife to be "unfortunate looking" have to do with anything? Sorry that not everyone lives up to your personal standards of beauty. I find it refreshing to see someone in Hollywood that is proud of the face they were born with and hasn't succumbed to the pressure to have plastic surgery.

Emmy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emmy said...

Sean Penn? The only thing that throws me off about Leo is him not being at the Oscars. If he's been ruled out why??

-EmmyC

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Ashton Kutcher King Schlong?
—rdiane29

Dear Demeaning:
No, but he sure wishes he was.


Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Olivia Wilde's ex, Tao Ruspoli?
—C.L.

Dear Looong Shot:
Seriously? The day King Schlong is actually revealed may be the end of the world, but really. Tao is not at all on Schlong's level, in any department for

that matter.


Dear Ted:
Could King Schlong possibly be Mark Wahlberg? Am I close? If not him, has he worked with King?
—janet.haines

Dear Short Stuff:
Schlong's not overly overcompensating. He's not Wahlberg, trust. Everyone that matters has worked with him, and done a damn good job by his side.


Dear Ted:
Are King Schlong and Cookie Muncher married to each other?
—Anne

Dear Munchy Matchmaker:
No, but that would be one match made in Vice hell. Cookie's hubby isn't as dirty as she is."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
When I read that King Schlong's not overly overcompensating and that everyone that matters has worked with him, the one that came to my mind is Morgan

Freeman. He has worked with just about everyone that matters, and I have never heard of him overcompensate himself for any role he may take on (real life or

movie life). Which is kind of rare in that town, no?
—J

Dear Darling:
Thank you for the biggest laugh of the week. No. Not him. Much younger."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Matthew McConaughey?
—B

Dear Over and Over Again:
Guaranteed, I get this guess once a day for Schlong, and I have definitely nayed it a few times, so here it goes. Nay. Keep guessing!

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong George Clooney?
—A

Dear King-Size:
Hmmm. Not sure, but maybe George would like us to think so?

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Tom Hardy?
—M

Dear Hardly:
Nope. Not him, either. Think less typical hotness."

Michelle said...

Still points to leo

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Aaron Eckhart King Schlong?
—Hokie

Dear Delish:
Nope, but he is still one hot piece of Schlong regardless."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Any dish on this new "rough patch" between Leo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli? Or is Leo being linked to Blake Lively again?
—LS

Dear Are You Serious?:
We've been saying for-evuh how Leo and Bar will always be on and off, and not really because of Bar. She's a beauty and a catch, to be sure. Leo is just

really much more George Clooney than people (and Leo) like to admit. Always wants to be with the boys and play, in the end."

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth
/b241466_leonardo_dicaprio_bar_
refaeli.html

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Would you say King Schlong is at the peak of his hotness? And his career?
—Emily

Dear King Pin:
No and no. More like was and was."

"Dear Ted:
Does King Schlong's girl have a Blind Vice moniker of her own? Does the L.A. party chick he shagged?
—Dave

Dear Penis Envy:
No and no. Just because you play with the B.V. big boys doesn't mean you've made a name for yourself too. Though, to be fair, the King has bedded a couple of

Blind babes in his day."

pomme said...

Dear Ted:
Can you picture Veronica Bee-Stings and King Schlong as a couple?
—Tiffany

Dear Well, Yes:
Because I dare say they want to be!



i think Ted C has outed Veronica Bee-Stings as Blake lively and King Schlong as Leo Dicaprio

C. Willingham said...

@pomme I totally thought the same thing when I read that!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Can you picture Veronica Bee-Stings and King Schlong as a couple?
—Tiffany

Dear Well, Yes:
Because I dare say they want to be!"

blurry vice said...

Not an outing at all... but yes a hint.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You've said that King Schlong "rocked" both the stage and the big screen. What about the "small" screen? Has K.S. ever been a regular on TV? My formerly

feral cat, Butter, couldn't care less, but I'm a teeny bit curious.
—HokieFan

Dear Boob Tube B.V.:
Yes he's canoodled with cable a few times, but he was hardly the king of anything back then.
"

Jeremy said...

Was it ever explicitly said that this was an actor? If not, I was thinking Michael Bay. He fits a lot of the clues and hints.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Love the Awful Truth! Is Jamie Foxx King Schlong? My rescue cat Aslan needs to know!
—Aslan's Parentals

Dear Shlong Song:
Good guess but no can do. The Schlong is not in Oprah's inner circle."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong Robert Pattinson. Do you think he ever cheats on K.Stew?
—Zippy Liverpool

Dear Short and Sweet:
No and no. Rob's Vice is far more complex than the King's.


Dear Ted:
I think I've got it, doll! King Schlong must be Justin Timberlake! It seems to be the perfect match! Oh, and awesome job quitting smoking!
—Hopeful Reader


Dear J.T. = K.S.:
Wrongo, babe. Nice try though, but the King wouldn't be caught blabbing about an ex-GF like Justin loves to do. Thanks for the kudos on ditching the cigs, babe! Still going strong, can you believe it?


Dear Ted:
I think King Schlong is Bradley Cooper. With his size 14 shoe, I think he fits the bill!
—cjc


Dear Ted:
I think King Schlong is Bradley Cooper. With his size 14 shoe, I think he fits the bill!
—cjc


Dear Ted:
Let me ask another way: How charitable is King Schlong? Please send prayers our way for my 14 y.o. Keeshond rescue dog, Tasha. I adopted her 13 years ago, and she is in the doggy hospital right now for a serious kidney infection. Sniff.
—Donna and Tasha

Dear Helping Hand:
When you say charity, do you mean helping out a good cause or throwing a bone to some horny babe (or occasional boy) at a swanky Hollywood event? Cause the King does both. Best of luck to your pup and kisses to you, mama!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So it didn't take very long for Leonardo DiCaprio to be seen with another young model. There are photos ( and a video ) of him flirting with a mystery blonde

in NYC the other night while Blake was in L.A. Does she really think he is going to change?
—LS

Dear Get Real:
You must be joking. Neither Blake nor Leo have any intention whatsoever of changing their ways—nor has either party since the inception of their slobberfest."

jjonefiftypb said...

Does this confirm Blake as veronica beesting and Leo as King scholong>

Dear Ted:
Life is getting in the way of living lately, and your blog is my daily distraction. I was wondering if we could play a round of my new game, Blind Vice Hookups, where your loyal readers try to pair two B.V. players together and give them a nickname. Fun, right? First question: Have Veronica Bee-Stings and King Schlong ever hooked up? And if so, would you call them King Bee or...?
—AMM

Dear Moniker Mania:
I'll bite, babe. Personally, just from names alone I would go with Schlong Sting, but when it comes to this twosome—who do know each other (it's Hollywood after all)—I wouldn't even bother giving them a cutesy joint name at all.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b249517_morning_bitch-back_where_in_world_zac.html#ixzz1Qcwv6izT

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/look_leonardo_dicaprio_going
_bald/272030

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/will_leonardo_dicaprio_win_oscar
_gold/273219

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