Blind Vice: Douche TV Star Nails Chicks in Dressing Room!
Jeez, what hat Jesse James wrought, huh? Are quasi-good-looking TV stars who behave badly suddenly the norm here in Hollywood?
Sure looks that way.
Because Moisty Mohr, a man never known for his looks so much as his ratings, is pulling some of the skuzziest stuff around these days! If you haven't just eaten lunch, proceed, by all means:
There's a certain store in town that sells women's clothing and is hot, hot, hot—tons of stars go there. It's a stylin' joint where the chicks go to get their chic on. So, of course, Moisty, who's always with one slinky babe or another (though he pretends he dates only one at a time—total lie), stopped into said shop recently.
"He came it with a bunch of gals," says an eyewitness. "They were just dripping all over him, which was really funny, as he's not all that much to look at."
What's even more hysterical (or pathetic, your choice) is that Moisty couldn't wait to have his way with his harem, so he took them into a changing room! And that area does not have floor-to-ceiling doors, mind you.
So, everybody in the store heard everything. And considering the fact that there were at least two women getting serviced by Moisty, the audio factor was not low. Consider it as amped as Mohr's boob-tube persona!
Wow. Is this like when short men start acting like total bitches, just to assert themselves? Dog-faced celeb finds the need to show he's got what it takes to please the ladies—and he wants everybody to know it?
Fine. Say the word, Moisty, your secret's out!
And it ain't: Jesse James, Jeremy Piven, George Lopez
Update 8/25/10 - Ted has eliminated Jesse James, Jeremy Piven, George Lopez, Jimmy Fallon, Chuy Bravo, Alec Baldwin, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Anderson Cooper, Danny DeVito, Bill O'Reilly, Larry King, Bill Maher, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Jeremy Springer, Maury Povich, Carrot Top, Drew Carey, Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Gosselin, Al Roker, Jay Leno, Penn Jillette, Larry David, Stanley Tucci, Pauly Shore, Mario Batali, Owen Wilson, Weird Al Yankovic, Ty Pennington, Gordon Ramsay, Chris Matthews, Bobby Flay, Seth MacFarlane, Hugh Hefner, Don Imus, Ron Jeremy, Donald Trump, Maury Povich, Geraldo Rivera, Hugh Hefner, Bob Barker, Jack Nicholson, Ed O'Neill, Woody Allen, Andy Rooney, Pat Robertson, Rob Pattinson.
6/4/10 - Ted says that Moisty Mohr lives in Las Vegas.
6/28/10 - Ted says that MM is a mainstream television star but NOT a Food Network star.
8/3/10 - Ted says MM is older than Donald Trump.
8/17/10 - Ted says MM does not do sitcoms.
*** Our top suspect as of 8/9/10: Robin Leach
* Update 8/25/10 - Ted has basically exposed Moisty Mohr as Robin Leach.