Friday, September 11, 2009

The Blind Vice Superstar Gallery

Today, Ted made a Blind Vice Superstar Gallery - 25 celebs who have been starring players in their own Blind Vice.

Good stuff with a lot of hints, check it out.

Also see our post here with a complete list of who has been confirmed as a BV, those who have not been, and the list of those Ted has revealed.


blurry vice said...

Ones I am curious about:

Natalie Portman?

Nikki Reed? (she was eliminated for all 3 twilight bv's)

blurry vice said...

Also we have already known Hayden Christnsen has been a BV but we have not pinpointed that one yet. Anyone know?

blurry vice said...

I think the Kirstin Dunst one was about drugs, a few years ago???

blurry vice said...

I think it was Jordache Junky that I suspected Kirstin Dunst for ... I will dig up that one.

Brittany said...
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stacey said...

Actually, Ted said they all were Blind Vices.

Those celebs featured in our new Blind Vice Superstars gallery are top-drawer Vice subjects, every last one of 'em. And not the minor pissy supporting players, but the major starring beloved Vicers.

Justin Credible said...

Natalie P... I cant remember when but I swear there was a BV once about a starlett and it described her as being in school. She was at Yale or Harvard or where ever at the time.

Unknown said...

Yeah, there was a blind about a dirty old man director who wanted to get a starlet in bed, but didn't think he had a chance because she was so high-minded and intellectual. So he casts her in a movie just to try to get close to her. Then when he makes his move, it turns out it's totally easy and she sleeps with him right away. Natalie Portman was a popular guess. I can't dig up the link, though.

Anonymous said...

does anyone else think its odd that neither jared padalecki or jensen ackles were in this gallery? this leads me to believe that judas jackoff might be hayden christiansen afterall. thoughts?

childeroland said...

The Portman guess sounds exciting, but Ted's said in the past her sexual secrets weren't particularly exciting, and the blind implies the film was a hit and award winner, which she hasn't had in the last few years (at the time of the blind).

kcwin said...

I think Jared and Jensen just aren't famous enough to get into the gallery. For Hayden to be Judas Jack-Off, there would have to be an equally famous Dashed Dingle-Dream.

Unknown said...

I think that one's Portman :P

childeroland said...

Sounds like it, but I doubt it. Ted's said the film in the blind is of a different genre than 'Lost in Translation' but the Portman film that most closely matches the blind, 'Garden State' is of the same genre -- indie dramedy. 'Closer' was not a hit with teens, and Portman's got nothing else that matches. This sounds like Witherspoon, maybe 'Election'.

Unknown said...

Nah, Reese is Shafterella. That's obvious. I think Natalie Portman is the best guess so far for Sheila-Slurp Never. Also, one of the producers of Garden State was Michael Blamberg (Shamberg) He's much older and the name kind of matchces. And in the blind he calls the film Love Life, so how much different can it be? Garden State is a more romantic lighter comedy than Lost in TRanslastion, maybe that's what he's referring to. :/

.grad student by day. said...
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.grad student by day. said...

SSN is totally Natalie Portman - The IMDB trivia for Garden State lists a guy named "Gary Gilbert" as financing the entire film with his own money, and there are several pictures of him and Natalie together at the premiere looking quite friendly.

Also, where does Ted say that the film has to be a different genre than Lost in Translation? I only see that he says different genre than Atonement.

childeroland said...

Assuming the co-star is Braff or another actor, who could be the other producer-type he slept with? Unless Ted means Jackie Hoffmann (Jean Smart's married, and Ted seems to imply the co-star hookup was innocuous) -- would she be closer to the 'producer-type's age and unmarried? It seems to fit, though concerning the 'famously attached' part of the blind, I'd always heard (wrong?) the film was greenlit before NP signed on.

childeroland said...

Someone asked if Sheila was ScarJo, the film Lost in Translation, and he said no, different genre but Sheila does belong on ScarJo's circle or social circle (I confess I forget which).

blurry vice said...

Ooh... yes sheila slurp never... i forgot about that one.

a letter today-
"Dear Ted:
Loved the gallery of the famous faces who are the stars of your Blind Vices—some faces we expected, some we didn't, you big ol' tease! Can't wait to search through the full archive when it comes online. Was wondering if you have any gossip about things stars do to prevent stories from going public, besides bribes, scary lawyers or sex?

Dear Powers of Persuasion:
You pretty much named all three things."

blurry vice said...

I updated the Sheila Slurp Never BV for Natalie POrtman and labeled it with her name.

As for JAred Padalecki and Jensen Ackles... who cares that they weren't featured in this? There have been so many blind vices over the years. Ted just listed some of them. He also didn't list Nicole Richie... even though we know she is Pixie Mixie or whatever.

marigoogleaccount said...

I disagree. On the Blind Vice message forum someone mentions that Ted notted Portman on his Twitter (though I can't find the tweet).

Re: Blind Vice Superstars!
Posted: Sep 15, 2009 5:45 PM in response to: Spiral in response to: Spiral

Ted notted Miley Cyrus for Me-Me Dallas....

and so is Natalie Portman for Shiela Slurp Never.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have such a love-hate thing going on with your Blind Vices. I'm obsessed with finding out who they are, and at the same time, I'm disgusted with myself for even wanting to know. I know you can't reveal most Vices, but will you help me get a little closer to overcoming my obsession by telling me if Toothy Tile is featured in your Blind Vice Superstars gallery? And is Rob Pattinson's B.V. Twilight related?
—Way Too Obsessed

Dear Pushing It:
On the first part, I'll give you this: probably. No comment on the second."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You know how Nikki Reed said she had nothing going on with Robert Pattinson, well, what is up with the paparazzi pics of her hanging out with Rob's parents and sisters? There are fan pics of Nikki hanging out with Rob and his close friends, too. You cannot tell me that there was nothing between the two.

Dear Team Nikki:
Yeah, funny, too, since she said in Seventeen that out of the cast she and Rob were the ones not close at all. She's hiding something, all I'm sayin'."

Gemini850 said...

I think Nikki is Twayla.

Gemini850 said...

I think Nikki is Twayla.

Anonymous said...

Found the probable source of the Sheila Slurp Nevar rumor -- a site called V-Generations. At:

No Hard Candy

Juno was a screenplay by Diablo Cody written with a quirky and fresh mind. Ellen Page was approached playing the female lead. But the movie had a problem: lack of money. It was difficult to find the necessary cash. Until John Malkovich jumped in and saved the day with his production company mr. mudd. John is a knight in shining armour or rather a knight in horny armour. It was not art that convinced John to produce Juno. It was his dick. Ellen’s sex scene in Mouth to Mouth at the age of 15, her impressive abs in Hard Candy or her very young looking body were enough reasons for John Malkovich to produce Juno.
He saw in her a sex object easily to be bought. He was right.

Juno was filmed in Vancouver from February to March 2007. Enough time for John to get Ellen laid. How did he succeed? With the oldest trick in the book a Hollywood producer can use to get it on with a young starlet: sweet words, nice gifts and a yacht.

But this is not a story of an old and pervert man seducing a young and innocent girl. No. This is the story of an old and pervert man seducing a young and very horny girl. Ellen’s sexual orientation is a widely discussed topic among Internet gossip sites and boards. Ellen Page is neither heterosexual nor homosexual. She is bisexual or rather hypersexual. Nothing wrong with that. It was a match made in Hollywood. Unfortunately, our story doesn’t end after a passionate night full of lust on John’s Loveboat. This story takes a very tragic turn: Pregnancy followed by an abortion.

The Real Juno

Ellen Page turned 20 when she was shooting Juno. What better birthday present can a 54-year-old man give to a 20-year-old girl than an unwanted child? John really knows how to make a girl feel like a woman…and a mother. Her pregnancy and abortion is not something Ellen was talking about during her press tour for Juno. Is anyone really surprised? Anti-abortion activists are moviegoers too. You cannot upset them with the truth. Hurts the boxoffice.

“I am pregnant”, confessed Juno to her parents in the movie. But what about Ellen Page. Did she confess her pregnancy to her parents? Unknown. But we do know that in 2007 about 40 million children have been aborted worldwide according to the WHO. Ellen Page’s and John Malkovich’s child was one of them. There might be a huge age difference between Ellen and John, but when it comes to maturity they are both on the same low level.

Maybe Ellen did not feel it was the “right” time for her to start a family, but it was certainly the “right” time for her to sleep with a family father.

What about Ellen’s parents? Ellen’s mother, Martha Philpotts, a retired teacher (!) and her father Dennis Page, a graphic designer, are divorced.

What about John’s family? How do they feel? They probably don’t know it either.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
How exactly do you get your info for the Blind Vices? I was just reading your latest one, and it didn't at all match any of the people in the B.V. gallery. Unless you've been slacking on us and had not updated that gallery for a while, I can't possibly image who that person could be! The comedian who slept with two broads in a public store for everyone to hear is extremely interesting and juicy, but I hardly doubt anyone would risk their career just to prove themselves as alpha male.

Dear B.V. Blunders:
Especially with our new, skanky B.V. stars, you'll have to think outside the superstar gallery. But who knows? With celebs coming out of the freaky closet, we may have to make another gallery one day. Also, he's not a comedian, per se."

--- Is this person for real? The blind vice superstar gallery was created months ago. Ted doesn't update it every time a new BV is written. LOL.