Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Toothy Tile and Gray Goose go biking.

Thanks to Ted Casablanca for alerting us today of this great shot of Toothy and Goosey biking together on PopSugar.

Here's what Ted said about it:

Jake's Secure Sexuality Poll: The Results!

You guys simply must have big-chinned, dreamy-eyed babies on the brain. Your dedication to keep Gyllenspoon alive showed in our poll results, since your fave way for Jakey-poo to show the world he's secure in his sexuality was to walk his Wither-hon down the aisle—in a ceremony planned by himself, no less!

Is it too late to add choice E: bike ride with his best male bud for all to gawk at? That certainly takes more guts than saying I do to your conveniently arranged arm candy, doncha think?



sistah2 said...

Ok ted, we get it.
anyway he flew to Europe to be with Reese as soon as this bike ride was over.
What a life! How does he keep it all 'straight'.? (pun intended)
Seriously he needs to do a tell all after all this is over and no one cares anymore. How he managed a double life and hid a baby away at the same time.

gingergrl68 said...

What I don't understand is what Reese gets out of this. She's not getting sex..why be a beard unless you're gay too and the arrangement is symbiotic?

Jake could just take either the "I don't discuss my personal life" line, or just do a Clooney and be a "confirmed bachelor" I just don't care that he's gay. Toothy Tile posts have been boring for so long, except of course the identity and location of alleged baby.

sistah2 said...

Even Lainey says today their romance is a shomance, but claims their love is 'legit'.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is there any chance that Toothy Tile just likes sex and does not have a preference for men over women?
—Ed, London

Dear Try It All:
That's probably what he's trying to convince himself of right now. But no. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Which couple will break up first: Toothy Tile and his beard or Toothy and his boyfriend, Grey Goose? And I don't believe Toothy is in love with Goose anymore, but it's a convenient relationship...for Toothy.

Dear Chipped Tooth:
If Toothy has it both ways, then he'll have his beard for the long haul with a little Goose on the side. We don't think G.G. can up and leave him. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
To follow up on the question Kroszelle posted on the April 2 Bitch-Back: Toothy Tile will be outed around the time he is no longer bankable, much the same way Winona Ryder was with her shoplifting habit?

Dear Odd Analogy:
Toothy doesn't think he's going anywhere, anytime soon. Especially with that beard that keeps him so relevant."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Don't forget us Toothy lovers. We still keep checking in. The bearding sure has taken the sexy out of Toothy. What the heck is up with the very sexy Grey Goose? Does love still reign?
—Tom , N.J.

Dear Grey Gardens:
Clandestinely, yes. But is that really love?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Stop pussyfooting around. Do Shafterella Shoshstein and Toothy Tile know each other well?
– Patricia

Dear No Pussyfooting Here:
Well, since they've worked on a movie together, I would hope they know each other well. Unless they're more like Seymour Slim-Bum and Darlene Deviant and totally hate each other, but no, that can't be right. In fact, I'm sure of it."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Reading your Bitch-Back yesterday, I love the idea of a Robert Buckley-Austin Nichols pairing. They should start being seen around together, and One Tree Hill would break the rating records with both their out-of-this-world sexiness combined. I like that the Awful Truth team seems to support the idea, so how about creating a joint name for them so we are prepared if they ever decide to come out with the sexiest bromance? What do you suggest?

Dear Robert + Austin:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I happen to not agree with the current group-think on the ID of Toothy Tile and Grey Goose; not that I think the current guess is not a good possibility, but the clues don't seem to mesh. Since people on the message boards are doing everything possible to force a fit, I came up with this fantasy scenario: You, Ted, are Grey Goose, and you so desperately want T.T. out of the closet that you publish the B.V.'s, get into an argument with your lovah, and then have amazing makeup sex which gets you through till next time. That would probably make Margo Baby Tile. Yes, I know it's a fantasy, but I hope it gives you a chuckle. XXOO

Dear Far-Fetched:
Chuckle indeed! Hope your career involves fictional writing."