Blind Vice: Two Coked-Out Movie Stars
Double cocaine-addiction alert, babes!
But first off, gotta say it's a brutal Biz out here in Hollywood. Instead of keeping up with the Joneses, you have to keep up with the Richies. Thin will unfortunately always be in because every actor's worst nightmare is Jessica Simpson's last couple of months.
Meet Slurina Thigh-Disaster and Bart Farts-a-Lot. No relation between these two, except that they share the same nasty diet trick: nose candy. Yep, Slur and Bar are two of the more recent stars to shed their extra fluff, and we're not talking Jenny Craig here folks.
More like coke. Mountains of coke. See, Slurina's legs (and other appendages) are a disaster not because of her chunks, rather they seriously aren't there anymore. It's like they've disappeared or something.
Ever since that pic Slurina did a while back called Crimson Scorpio, for which she lost a shocking amount of weight, many folks have wondered where the hell that new figure came from. The same place where a lotta of T-town, stick-thin starlets like to get their stall on.
Weird, too, 'cause Ms. Thigh-Disaster used to be a bit on the plumper side, but always so healthy. Result of hew new figure: More roles, yeah, but she's also getting a rep for making vulgar scenes due to her constantly jumpy nature, regardless of whatever celebratory occasion she may find herself in. But she just can't get enough of this white stuff.
So unlike Bart:
This guy is most decidedly not a fan of the nose devil. In fact, he really doesn't like it at all. But he was forced to lose his happy poundage and didn't know what else to do...or snort. People like to laugh at a chubby actor, but won't swoon over one. He's told friends that coke is the "only thing" that will make him stop eating. So he does as much as he can to curb his appetite. Gross.
Jeez, what ever happened to some good ol' fashion diet and exercise?
And it ain't: Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson
And it also ain't: Brendan Fraser, Jason Segal, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Update 8/26 - Ted has eliminated Rob Pattinson for Bart Farts Alot.
* Possibility: Slurina Thigh Disaster could be Brittany Murphy.
* Update: Ted has hinted (4/9 and 5/5) that Bart Farts-a-Lot is Seth Rogen.