NEW BV FROM TED...
One Vaccination-Required Blind Vice
It can be a rocky journey to the top, and no one knows this better than Finnegan Furrow-Brow. He's been in the spotlight for years, but never had that star recognition until most recently. See, Finny's a younger-type dude who's been thrust upon this world of flashing lights and flashing panties simply due to his ambitious achievements (which, of course, means he's starting to dabble in all kinds of crossover activities too, which usually happens with the young, firmly muscled and pretty popular).
F's tight ass and adorable smile def don't hurt his fame cred, either, but newly minted megamoney and magnified status aside, FFB isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud. Regardless, his basically "unthreatening" demeanor gets girls into the throes of his sheets all the damn time, anyways. But...these digging damsels shouldn't be too eager. Here's why:
Despite Frazzy's best ass-getting efforts, when it comes down to it, he often has difficulty knocking the cojones outta the park. Why? Oh, not because of any diss-able effort on his part—turns out, actually it's quite the opposite, as Mr. F.B.'s predicaments usually occur because he's such a good guy. See, he got the herp. And being the nice boy he is, he'll always warn (hugely unlike most of his H-town counterparts, hugely) these supple potential nooky sirens that he has herpes, but not to worry cause they can "just use a condom."
Cue girl's exit. Almost always.
Sheesh, maybe the dude should take that offer Miley Cyrus shot down and start reppin' rubbers? At least he'd get the (bigger) bucks if not the girl.
And It Ain't: Jesse McCartney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Roger Federer
* Update 7/16/09: Ted has eliminated Shia LeBeouf, Adrian Grenier, Zac Efron, Michael Cera, Gerard Butler, Daniel Radcliffe, LeBron, Rob Pattinson.
*** Our top suspect: Michael Phelps. (Basically confirmed by Ted on Dec 2.)***