Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Lainey - A Bitch to Work For

New from Lainey today...

Successful multi-hyphenate, super well connected personally and professionally with a reputation for being kind and compassionate and evolved.


Maybe for the media and maybe her fashionable celebrity friends, maybe for investors, maybe for executives, but some of her employees would vehemently disagree.

Turns out she’s a little bit of a Miranda Priestly when she comes in to the office. Starts snapping her fingers right away, never remembers anyone’s name, everyone is treated like a personal assistant, dispatched to do her bidding instead of actually getting down to work, recently held up a creative meeting because she wanted whole milk and not cream with her coffen, then 20 minutes into the meeting, she held it up again when her cell phone rang, proceeded to keep everyone waiting another 15 minutes while she discussed measurements on a dress she was having made, did not apologise when she clicked off the line, and instead embarrassed a staffer who returned to the room after having excused himself to take an urgent phone call when she was taking hers.

But all that is rather pedestrian. There are no shortage of bitches in Hollywood. In the grand scheme of things, all that is pretty harmless.

Until you get into job security.

A pregnant member of her staff was scheduled to give birth around crunch time. Her boss’s convenient remedy for the situation was to not hire her back when everyone else returned to work. At the very least she was honest. She told her straight up – your due date doesn’t work for me. I don’t think you’ll be able to contribute in the same way you did before.

So the employee hired a lawyer, a lawsuit loomed, and the boss bitch had to backpedal to the tune of a handsome pay-off (confidential, of course) and several seminars on employee rights although it apparently hasn’t helped.

She’s still super stingy, to the point where she complains about the quality of craft services (it’s too good) and even supplies, haggles over offering vacation pay, and will not foot the bill for staff celebrations and events, even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited.

Crazier still, she seems to be clueless when it comes to tact. The other day she said to one of her producers – if you need something to do this weekend, my assistant could use some help planning our reception. You could stay for dinner if you want.

When he declined, she looked at him like he was closing the door to the opportunity of a lifetime.

Before you ask, it’s not the Mighty Opes.
Update 4/29/08 - Lainey has said it is not: Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Martha Stewart, Vera Wang, Sarah Jessica Parker, Courteney Cox Arquette, Kimora Lee Simmons, Victoria Beckham, Rachael Ray, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Beyonce Knowles, Heidi Klum, Gwen Stefani.

*Top Suspect: Salma Hayek

***Update 1/15/09 - Lainey has hinted that this is Salma Hayek as we have suspected.


sistah2 said...

Wow - this seems like it would be so obvious yet i cant place it. the "hollywood" reference makes me feel like its a west coast based show. also - seemed like Ellen but, I know that she never wears dresses and Lainey mentions this gal had a dress made. anyone else?

Melissa said...

My first thought, though was Laurie David - I can't even tell you why I thought of her. Second, Salma Hayek on "Ugly Betty", maybe.

I read on Facebook that Trudie Styler actually had a lawsuit with their personal chef because she fired her because of her pregnancy.

Everything seems to fit each one of these people. However, it seems like it should be much more obvious - like Oprah. Although, at one time or another, Oprah has fawned all over each of these women.

duffgrl said...

Courtney Cox-Arquette? She is the exec producer on the FX show "Dirt"(and successful multi hyphenate) I like her but she would fit.
I want it to be Tyra Banks but I don't think she has a kind reputation (does she?)I did hear that she was super-cheap for her show's employee Christmas party this past December.
I don't understand how the 2 people in the above comment fit at all(?)From the mention of craft services etc. in sounds like someone in tv who is a host/exec. Salma Hayek is an actor on an ensemble show- can't see it being her.

Melissa said...

Salma Hayek is the Exec. Producer of Ugly Betty and owns a production company, Ventanazul. Her hyphenates are actress/director/producer. She is the driving force behind "Ugly Betty" and the actors have said in interviews things about working FOR Salma. Salma bought a $20,000,000 mansion from Kelsey Grammar in Bel-Air. Don't know if she is into regular, lavish entertaining, though.

Laurie David is a producer/blogger/activist/environmentalist (some would add hypocrite to the list...) and produced "An Inconvenient Truth". She throws many benefits for her various causes. She and Larry David had at least two mansions - I'm sure she got one in the divorce.

Trudie Styler is Rock god's wife/Actress/producer/director/ environmentalist/all-around Hollywood socialite (she is also commonly referred to as a hypocrite). she and Sting are considered very "evolved". She often throws parties or fund raisers that are "hot tickets". She and Sting own several mansions in Malibu, England and Italy. She's already been involved in a lawsuit for firing a pregnant employee.

Depending on what any of these women are working on now, they all fit the BI. I stand by my guesses.

I will also add a possible - Julia Roberts. She just happened to be on Oprah today. She is an actress/producer/environmentalist. She is in production on a couple of things according to IMDB. She has a production company, Red Om Films. She maintains a mansion in Malibu and a large home in New Mexico. She mentioned today a dinner she hosted at Thanksgiving to which Oprah was apparently invited. However, I have never heard her described as "lavish", nor have I heard that she hosts "regularly". I thought she was pretty insulated from the whole party scene. She also usually wears vintage gowns, so I don't know if she would be having anything made. She is considered to be "Anmerica's Sweetheart", though.

I think that Tyra Banks would be too easy, as she already has the cheapskate bitch reputation from the aforementioned Christmas party. I would not call her "evolved" either. Also, she and her show are based in NYC.

Also, Courteney Cox doesn't seem to be very well connected and seems to be a loner with only a few good friends. But you never know.

Ellen doesn't wear dresses and it would be doubtful that she would be talking to someone about Portia's measurements. She also did not stop working during the strike. Do they entertain? Hmm.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if it's Kimora Lee Simmons...doesn't she have a house in LA? Based on what was aired on her reality show, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest!

Melissa said...

Would anyone consider Kimora evolved or kind and compassionate? It is obvious she is pretty much a she-witch diva. It just sounds like someone much more "classy" and respected. Can't rule her out, though.

If Lainey could just confirm some of these a little more clearly. I'm still caught up in "How He Holds Her". I never found anything to confirm it at all. Gah!

kellygirl said...

good job Melly
the Salma or Laurie David or Trudie Styler guesses would work.
I'm going to go with Salma Hayek. I've heard a few stories. She is NOT easy to work for.

Carmen said...

My first guess was Angelina (ie personally well connected). However, this is obviously someone in television (reference to the writer's strike). My quick guess is Tina Fey.

Anonymous said...

I just read this on E online:
"Jennifer Lopez has signed on to star in a reality show—or in press release vernacular, a "docu-series"—on TLC that will follow the performer as she balances her roles as multihyphenate career woman, wife to Marc Anthony and mommy to twins Emme and Max."

Could it be?!?

Carmen said...

Now that I re-read, the "even though she regularly hosts lavish affairs at her own mansion for those privileged enough to be invited." part does not sound like Tina Fey. Although clearly she is on television and was during the writer's strike... So I don't think it is J. Lopez if she just signed (although I do remember a story ab out her being a cheap tipper when she was with Ben Affleck in LV). But she has to have both producers/television and investors and well as lavish parties. Does Salma Hayek host lavish parties?

Melissa said...

I saw Tina Fey once on an episode of "Trading Spaces". They were working on an apartment in her neighborhood and she just wandered over while getting coffee because she was a fan. She was really normal and kind of embarassed to get caught on camera because she wasn't trying to steal attention, she was just a fan of the show. It was obviously not scripted - I can't imagine she would go from that to what Lainey describes even if she was a big party giver.

duffgrl said...

Def NOT Tina Fey!!! Who guessed that?

Colts#1Filly said...

I'm still going with JLo. Lainey hasn't excluded her yet and she really fits all the criteria. While she may have just "announced" signing with TLC...pre-production is already in the works. Plus Lainey mentioned JLo the very next day in her opening letter/statement...a clue, I think.

Anonymous said...

What about Madonna ?

House of Brat said...

Totally Salma Hayek.

blurry vice said...

Actually today, Lainey has hinted that this is Salma Hayek. On her link to an article about Salma's 3 million dollar wedding, she says "but how does she treat her staff?"

Anonymous said...

Whoohoo go Blurry Vice...
I don't know if Lainey outed her before and I missed it...but it was really out today. :)

blurry vice said...

Here is from today:

"What’s up with the baby daddy?

Salma Hayek, an improvement on her meh appearance at the Globes, looking gorgeous and unusually UNbusty (relatively speaking) last night at the National Board of Review awards in New York. Maybe she dialed it up a notch for her baby daddy Francois Henri-Pinault? They had dinner last night Salma but did not seem like she wanted to be seen with him.

Like, he’s the father of your child. What’s with the discomfort?

And what’s with the giant block of humourless up her ass?

Her face at the Globes during Sacha Baron Cohen’s presentation – oh please. It was funny. Even Madonna would have found it funny. And for sure Guy Ritchie. And whatever with your sanctimony, Salma. It’s one thing to deliver a joke, it’s another to cut corners and cheap out on staff, treat people like sh-t, but pretend in the open to be kind and evolved and supportive. I’ll take Sacha’s “inappropriate comments” over that kind of hypocrisy any day.

PS. Sandra Bullock has a great sense of humour. You know she loved it! "

blurry vice said...