Sunday, June 26, 2011

Blind Vice! Morgan, You have One More (A-List) Chance!

This was new from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice!  Morgan, You Have One More (A-List) Chance!

Delusional and drug-addled Morgan Mayhem has really got to be the most pitiful of all our Blind Vice Superstars. It's getting boring reporting on her, so we've basically stopped.
I Know Who Killed MeExcept, recently we were talking to one of our A-List sources (we adore all types here at AT, just so you know, all the way down to Z-list!), who told us Morgan is in for a shock soon:
She's going to be offered an A-list job again! And, trust us, this is no sleazy project like those the once-top actress is used to doing these days.
Academy-Award winning director. Academy-Award-nominated co-talent. Very cool, hip up-and-coming costars.
And the part itself?
"A complete whack-job girlfriend, Morgan would be perfect."
And how. The only problem being that the director is busy fighting with the costars, who are adamant they will not work with M2, who they consider "a total asshole."
However, the director, who is not to be deterred, is busy telling his actors they will be meeting with Ms. Mayhem, just the same, as soon as the meeting's finalized—and that he fully expects Morgan to come to the meeting "fully contrite, asking for the job."
You hear that, Morgan-doll? Through all your coked-out, boo-hoo scrapes in life, can you even remember how to act anymore? Because if you can, you might want to start with the audition process.
They're expecting somebody who you know doesn't exist anymore (and probably never did), so see if you can pull if off, sweetheart!
If you ever want to work in this town again, that is.
It Ain't: Katy Perry, AnnaLynne McCord, Demi Lovato

Please see the label below for a link to our other many posts on Morgan Mayhem BVs over several years.
Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

(film Magic Mike; Steven Soderbergh)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Lainey 6/21/11 - That didn't take long

New riddle from Lainey today -

That didn't take long

I guess if you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. It doesn’t have to be after a year, it can be much less. And you don’t have to wait for 5 either. Also, at that age, is it realistic to expect something to last forever? I suppose you don’t know that until you know it. And by then it’s too late.

She’s more famous. And he’s, well, he’s ok at what he does, but he’s certainly not great at it although when it comes to actual talent, I’m not so sure she has much of it either, and definitely not with the last project she pimped. Still, there’s no question that she’s the B+ in this relationship, and he’s the solid D+, which is VERY generous. In another league maybe we’d consider him a C-. A C at most. He’d never be one to wear that on his sweater though.

Anyway he cheated on her. At least once. With some kind of no name, but well connected enough, and the sort of girl who gets off on hooking up with married men, and if the married man has a celebrity wife... well, even better.

The wife, so far, is happily oblivious. So far. But those kinds of girls, they love to step down on other girls. And they love when other people know about it. Not sure how long he’ll be able to keep this contained.


Current top suspects:  Hillary Duff & Mike Comrie, Carrie Underwood & Mike Fisher

Friday, June 17, 2011

Blind Vice: Did Sally Make Her Choice to Keep Hollywood Happy?

Still getting caught up ... slowly.  Here is Monday's Blind Vice from Ted.

Blind Vice: Did Sally Make Her Choice to Keep Hollywood Happy?

It was upsetting enough in itself, the surprising break-up of Sally Pearlsmyth and Percy DuBois. The beautiful young couple was so in love! So tantalizing in their passionate and real-life love story!

But, that was before things went awry and Sally found she was pregnant...

And after consulting with her myriad advisors decided she would end the pregnancy. This we revealed last time we told you about Sally's unfortunate bust-up, and one reason why Percy was so very upset afterwards—because he wanted her to keep the kid.

But this we have just discovered:
During all those meetings Sally had with her advisors, agents and employers (she told them all about the pregnancy, asking everybody what she should do), Sally actually talked to her bosses about having a pregnancy theme written into her acting project at the time.

The producers were not against considering the concept, but, they ultimately rejected it—as they didn't really care for that storyline.
And then Sally decided to end her pregnancy.
Now, we're all about women's rights at A.T. Just not sure everybody in Hollywood agrees with us? I don't know, you get time off to have a kid if you work at the post office, shouldn't you get that, also, if you work at the studio? Without having to worry about losing your job?

Just a thought.

AND IT AIN'T: Selena Gomez, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Lawrence

Please refer to our the label below for a link to the post on the previous Sally/Percy BV.

Top suspects: Dianna Agron & Alex Pettyfer

Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic Takes to the Sexy Skies

James Franco 11x17 HD Photo Poster Hot Actor #02 HDQAaaah, crashing laptop!  Delays and more delays.  Here is today's Blind Vice from Ted.

Blind Vice!  Crotch Uh-Lastic Takes to the Sexy Skies
Must admit: we've been pretty worried about one par-tick Vicer lately. See, we adore Crotch Uh-Lastic and his hump-happy ways, but the dude's been tweaking out of his mind lately. Believe us, we so much preferred dishing on his skanky sexcapades than his dubious mindset.

Which is why we're très thrilled that CU-L has put the cuckoo crap on hold and is making a sexy splash with his many boy-toys these days. But he's not into the poolside scene like he once was. No, Crotch has upgraded to...

Yep, Crotch has taken his fagola flair to the friendly skies. But he's not picking up horny hunks in Virgin's first-class cabin—'cause like any celeb worth his superstar status, C racks up his frequent-flier miles on a private plane.

Sound familiar?

It's like Crotch took a page right out of Fey Oiled-Tush's guide to being a dude on the D.L.
Remember, Fey likes to take his plethora of handpicked young studs into the clouds and explore the cockpit, if you know what we mean (and we're pretty sure you do)—all while his poor, bitched-at pilot watches on.

The good news is that C-UL's personal sky captain isn't dissatisfied with his closeted clientele. In fact he likes Crotchy quite a bit—in a strictly platonic, hetero way, of course...for now, at least.

The bad news? He's still spilling secrets about Crotch's sexy vacays to anyone who will listen—tho the news that C is bedding boys is shocking to one.

But Crotch isn't just in it for the nookie, he likes taking his pseudo-BFs on trips for two around the globe. First they do the deed and then go on a cutesie date in some far-off foreign local,e away from the bright lights and paparazzi lens of Hollywood.

Now isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?

And It Ain't: Garrett Hedlund, Stephen Moyer, Chris Colfer

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous posts on the MANY CUL BVs.

Top suspect: as always, James Franco

Lainey - Locker Room Duties

Don't hate us cause we're late with this.  It was a crazy week!  New riddle from Lainey yesterday June 16 -

Locker Room Duties

This has nothing to do with how John Travolta behaves at a spa. But I love that your first instinct was to go there.
For Seych who graduated from SFU yesterday and was reading LaineyGossip under the regalia through the boring bits – a riddle by request:
You want to know how spoiled celebrities are? Every morning when he goes to the gym and opens up his locker, he expects to find inside a vacuum sealed package containing a set of clean workout clothes. He leaves the used clothes inside the locker after the training session. An employee is then required to come to the gym later and replace the dirty items with a fresh vacuum pack option for the next day. The clothes have to be vacuum packed. They can’t just be laundered and folded and placed gently on the shelf. And in LA, for the stars, a request like this is considered commonplace.


Top suspect

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Blind Vice: Shafterella Shoshstein Leaves the Evil Conniving to Others!

We should have known a new Shafterella BV was coming ... Ted was talking about Reese a lot this week.  Here is his new BV from yesterday...

Blind Vice: Shafterella Shoshstein Leaves the Evil Conniving to Others!

Shafterella Shoshstein and Cruella St. Shackles really should make a movie together. After all, these two mega-manipulators are made for each other!
How Do You KnowA new version of Thelma &  Louise, maybe? Nah, a remake of Black Swan would be better, with Shafterella playing the crafty Natalie Portman part, and Cruella going for Winona Ryder's tragic, aging diva character.
But, dolls, we are way off topic here, which is to report that real-life power manipulator Shafterella has been corralling her friends to...
Do her dirty work for her.
Now, it's no surprise that Ms. S.—whose multi-talents apparently extend behind the camera, as well—has been demanding that those who are employed by her do her nasty bidding for years. This is pretty much legend. Whether it's been dropping friends, movies or lunch dates, those not-nice tasks have always been left to those on Shafterella's payroll—all so Shafty can plead innocence if ever confronted and proclaim, "Why I had no idea they did that..."
But S2's gotten so used to the Teflon way of life, she's now started to get her friends—as well as her man—in on the act, having them send messages of preachy recrimination to those who displease Shafterella (trust us, the list is looong).
Hmmm. Is this the reason Shafty's coterie of BFFs is not quite what it once was? And is that the reason Ms. Shoshstein's been putting a few too many away lately? Oh my, the nasty domino gossip effect just keeps going on and on—it's all too yummy for words!
Just don't let Shafty catch you talking about any of this, or she'll send one of her humorless and unattractive mouthpieces (whether paid or not, Shafty always makes it a point to surround herself with less pretty people, always has) to tear you a new a-hole!
Bitch knows the right devil messenger service to use!
AND IT AIN'T: Nicole Kidman, Cindy Crawford, Christina Aguilera

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous Shafterella posts, including a full list of who has been elminated.

Top suspect: Shafterella = Reese Witherspoon

(See the label at right for the Cruella posts.  Top suspect for Cruella is Nicole Kidman.)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Bonus Blind! Hot Athlete Gets His Game on While Girlfriend is Away

This was from Monday, a few days late...

Bonus Blind!  Hot Athlete Gets His Game on While Girlfriend is Away

Despite a commitment in the offing, Greta Gatsby's fairytale happily-ever-after to Taller Baller isn't all that it appears to be. 
KRISTIN CAVALLARI 24X36 COLOUR POSTER PRINTWhile Greta frequently travels, her BF is left alone to his own devices and is apparently hitting on every gal that walks into his favorite bar, where he spends much of his free time.
And though the muscle man's flirtfests may be innocent enough for now (and not by his design), we doubt his main mama would think highly of his player past.
Taller Baller has quite the drive!
Turns out T.B. would get very angry if any girl he brought home refused to, well, give it up.
In one noteworthy incident, T.B. even kicked a gal out of his house after she refused to seal the deal after their second date.
And he never called her again!
If these gals only knew how lucky they really are not to have this already-taken schmuck off their hands.
‘Cause  it sounds like when Baller doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he can turn into quite the pissy missy.
We hope Greta tightens up the leash on this spoiled puppy before it's too late!
But like so many women, we fear Greta just doesn't want to know. Get it?
AND IT AIN'T: Derek Jeter, Rick Fox, Kris Humphries

Top suspects: Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler

Update 6/20/11 - Ted has also eliminated Shakira & Gerard Pique

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Blind Vice! Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

Friday's BV from Ted...

Blind Vice!  Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

Barry Wanger-Banger is a muy funny fella. 'Tho, must fess, the tabloids haven't been talking about Barry for any of his silly shenanigans lately. In fact, they've been talking about the crap he does that could kill him, which is a damn shame.
But B-man is getting his life together, so we thought we'd share a titillating tale that we definitely find LOL-worthy about Mr. Wanger and his more pleasant Vice:
You know, the fact that he's totally into dudes!
Of course, like any H'wood hunk worth his B-list status, BWB can keep his secrets just that.
Yep, Barry has taken note from the many closeted cuties before him and loves parading around T-town with a new hot thing—some models, some actresses, he doesn't care too much, really.
But after wining and dining these babes at some of the swankiest hot spots in town—where he's sure to get some paparazzi attention with his charming smile and sometimes six-pack—the real fun starts when he invites them back to his place. (Not even Toothy Tile is dim enough to pull the crap you're about to read.)
'Cause here's the kicker: Barry lets the gals think he actually wants to get it on with them!
One partic clueless chick—who's actually got a recognizable puss herself—arrived back at B's place and was itching to see what he was packing when—poof!—Barry just up and disappeared.
The unlucky lady sat twiddling her thumbs in his family room, wondering where the hell her date went, before she finally started searching for him. And that's when she learned the truth:
Three is definitely a crowd.
See, Barry had slipped outside to play a game of midnight basketball—no, that's not a dirty little saying...We actually mean with the orange ball and a hoop and whatnot—with a sexy, shirtless stud.
Barry's poor date watched all the ass slapping and lingering congratulations as the two sweaty boys played with each other out back before deciding she was had suddenly become the third wheel and hit the road.
So, then Barry and his BF hit the showers.
Now these are the kind of stories we like to hear from ya, Bar. You always know how to make us laugh.
And It Ain't: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen

Eliminated as of 3/26/12: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen, Jason Sudeikis, Jonah Hill, Justin Timberlake, Alex Pettyfer

Top suspect: