Friday, July 29, 2011

Blind Vice: Another Celeb Duo About to Bust?

New BV from Ted today. 


Blind Vice: Another Celeb Duo About to Bust?

Sorry to be such a downer these days with bad Hollywood relationships galore, not to mention ones that are permanently over. Definitely something in the air—much more so than usual lately.
25 Asparagus Roots with Free ShippingAnd, now you can add Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Cubby Asparagus to the endangered couples list. Make that very endangered list.
"He just can't take it, anymore," complained a close friend of Cubby's recently, regarding his pal's dissatisfaction with his marriage. "He's thisclose to ending it—he just feels like he's drowning in her shadow."
Hmmm. Wonder who that could be? Woulda said Marc Anthony, but we sure as hell know what happened there, don't we?!
Cubby's probs, apparently, aren't just emotional, but financial, too: We're told when compared to wife Lucy's far more swimming professional situation, Cubby, just feels like his lack of earning power lately is magnified every time he goes home.
"He's just lost, really," says our mutual friend. "He wants his old life back when they were both really successful, and he just doesn't think it's going to happen while they're together."
Don't give up hope, Cubby, you're such a cute couple! And remember, this is Hollywood. Lucy's movies will be in the toilet in no time and you'll be right back to being top dog!
It Ain't:
Jessica Alba
& Cash Warren, Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos, Julia Roberts & Danny Moder

Update August 1 - Ted states that Cubby Asparagus is a different person than Chubby Asparagus from an earlier BV.  Two separate people, not a misprint.

As of 8/5/11, Ted has eliminated: Jessica Alba & Cash Warren, Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos, Julia Roberts & Danny Moder, Sarah Pohler & Will Arnett, Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr., Rebecca Rojmin & Jerry O'Connell

Top suspects:

77 comments:

Liz said...

Gwynneth and Chris Martin.

LMS130 said...

Barely any clues on this one. I think we'll have to wait for the BBs to make some guesses.

pomme said...

no idea :c

Cecilia00 said...

Demi & Ashton

Kacey said...

My first thought was Gwenyth and Chris, too...

texgen said...

In the previous blind about CA his profession is refered to as "something you do with your tongue, other than kiss a hooker.". I'm thinking talk show/game host. Also Ripa is a AIA. Did Chubby lose wt. and now is Cubby?

Lila said...

Gwyneth is a previous BV. Not her. And Chris Martin makes more money than Gwyneth. Coldplay is still pretty huge. They're like the new U2 - they'll be huge no matter how terrible they get.

This has got to be the same BV as Chubby. No idea who that is, though.

Cathy said...

I agree with texgen about Chubby/Cubby not being an actor. All of the AIA couples are actress wives with non-actor husbands.

Mena said...

What the three AIAs have in common is that they all met while working together on some movie or t.v. show.

Rita said...

This can't be Demi and Ashton either. With his new TV gig, he is still more popular then her; she hasn't done anything in ages. Not Gwen either, Chris is bigger than her.

How about Fergie and Josh Duhamel? Back then, he was very big with his TV show Las Vegas, and she was only the chick on the BEP.

lelale said...

@Mena that would give a hint towards Kelly Ripa & Mark who met on All My Children

KaDixonLaw said...

I also thought Fergie and Josh Duhamel initially...until I got to the line about her movies being "in the toilet soon." I know Fergie has been in a few movies (Nine, Grindhouse, etc.), but I don't remember any of them being huge successes.

As far as the AIA connections are concerned, Mark Consuelos actually is an actor. According to IMdB, he was on All My Children from 1995-2010 and he has a new show in pre-production now. Cubby/Chubby could very well not be an actor, but I just thought I would point that out in case it opens the door for some other possbilities.

erinkg said...

My first thought was Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox.

blurry vice said...

All of these guys are way more attractive than the description of Chubby Asparagus from his 1st BV.

blurry vice said...

erinkg - BAG is a great guess!

Also - Nick Cannon, Dean McDermott...

Jerry O'Connell - he used to be chubby as a child when he was in stand by me.

Definitely someone in a K-Fed type of situation. If you read this one and the old one: part of a cute couple. Doable, cute in a trash collecter who won the lottery and got a makeover type way. Got into bad TV by the time his 2008 BV was written. Now not getting roles but wife is. In 2008 hired a hooker, cheated on wife.

blurry vice said...

Also from a bitch back from the previous - he doesn't have much of a movie presence. Some people were guessing Drew Carey and Wayne Brady.

blurry vice said...

Beyonce and Jay-Z keep popping into my head too. But don't think they fit as well as Brian Austin Green/ Megan Fox, Tori/Dean, Jerry/Rebecca.

blurry vice said...

Also Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell?

blurry vice said...

Kristen Bell in an upcoming movie "everybody loves whales" - could be the "swimming" professional situation - hint?

blurry vice said...

I should really go to sleep but having another thought. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr! But SMG has already been a BV.

HI said...

IF we are assuming Ted meant "cHubby asparagus":

In the 2008 blind, it talks about this couple being married. That would eliminate BAG and M. Fox who didn't marry until 2010, and Kristen and Dax who have never been married. Also, JayZ is just as big as Beyonce, and both brought in relatively the same amount of double-digit millions last year.

Rita said...

I like the Jerry O'Connell guess. But Rebecca Romjin getting more offers still? Whe was already replaced in X-Men, her TV show Witches of Eastwick has been dropped... He on the other hand has a lawyer show on TV (that I don't follow). But regarding the Chubby connotation, it would fit perfectly. And in regards to the AIAs, his wife has always been the star in their couple. Let's see what Ted says.

valerie said...

Jerry's show has been canceled.

Rita said...

Is Rebecca up in anything soon?

Rita said...

Thought of another couple:Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Would that work with the AIAs?

Gaylen said...

If Cubby=Chubby, then Gavin doesn't make sense. Chubby "decided bad TV was his thing" and Gavin was in a band, not an actor.

laurenb81 said...

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick?

Tamara said...

I keep thinking of Cubby Broccoli, the now-deceased producer of many James Bond films. A Bond connection here seems unlikely, however.

Denise said...

Dear Ted:
I'm on to you, Ted. I haven't forgotten Chubby Asparagus from way back when. Maybe you forgot he was Chubby though and made him a Cubby, no? Totally love how you're mixing up the Blinds on us. I'm thinking Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
—Sam

Dear Best Secretary Ever:
Nice try, doll. With so many dirty little B.V. names circling around, don't you know that some of them are going to become related by a few degrees of separation (but with nearly exact life stories in play)? Hence Cubby and Chubby Asparagus. Sorry, Cubs ain't Chris, and Chubs and Cubs are two different mid-life dudes. Does that clear the fog?

He has also notted Rebecca and Jerry, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinz, Jr. He says they are less attractive and older, long-term established couple.

I'll go with the SJP and Mattthew guess even if they are more east coast.

Denise said...

Also...there are a lot of water clues...swimming, drowning, in the toilet. Dunno what to make of them.

sistah2 said...

Wow so Cubby and Chubby are not the same...but are they related in some way? Either by family or professionally? otherwise, why would Ted make a name that is so close to another. ?

Rita said...

Sistah2 - that's what I thought too, but after re-reading his comment, it seems he is talking about men in mid-life crisis, with a few degrees of seperation.

So what is a few degrees of seperation between Misters Ripa, Alba and Roberts?

Rita said...

Mr. Demi Moore? Could Ted be trying to mix us up when disregarding the fact that Ashton might hit it big(ish) with his new gig on Two and a Half Men? Ashton has been behind the scenes more often like Moder and Mr Alba, and Demi is always considered A-list, and had success because of her hot body not her avting (like Alba).
Could it be poosible?

Denise said...

I wouldn't consider Ashton Kutcher to be in mid-life yet.

Rita said...

True, still very far from it. But Demi is! :)
Was throwing that one out there in relAtion with AIAs.
Am wondering though if the Marc Anthony mention in the blind is indicative of Cubby's age or nationality... Marc is certainly middle age...

Denise said...

Or maybe I just don't want to think of him as "middle aged" because we are the same age! lol

I wonder if Chubby Asparagus is Latino or Hispanic, thus the MA reference? He kind of sounds like George Lopez. Maybe that is his association with or maybe he is related to Cubby? Making Cubby Latino as well.

Denise said...

I have thought that Charlie Sheen could be Chubby. Does he have a blind? Except his divorce from Denise Richards was a couple years earlier than the Chubby Blind.
He is of Spanish heritage too.

EV said...

I think Chubby and Cubby must be related somehow. Why else would Ted make their monikers almost identical? I am thinking maybe they are brothers or maybe Cubby is the son of Chubby?

Rita said...

Denise - Charlie Sheen was confirmed to have a blind for more than a year. I think it's the one where a coupel dabbles in hard drugs and three-somes and no one is taking care of their babies. Obviously alluding about Charlie Sheen and ex- Ms. Mueller (forgot last name).

Rita said...

Today's Blind Vice about Slurpa Pop-off and Morgan Mayhen certainly confirms a bit more that Slurpa is Paris Hilton, for who else had let their dogs die in wardrobes, and was seen in the past 48 hours stumbling around drunk and high with Lindsay Lohan.

Not a veiled Blind at ALL! More like a final warning for these 2 from Ted.

After all this time, I was starting to be convinced that Paris was like a functioning alcoholic, but with a coca├»ne addiction. Always been able to handle her powder and still be presentable next day for her «work» and make money.

Unknown said...

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedwick

movie masochist said...

Is it possible that Ted actually forgot about CHubby Asparagus when he wrote this about Cubby? I want to believe he is more thorough than that, but he does seem to be getting sloppy.

He didn't actually admit having forgotten the older one, but something about his BB answer made me think that he forgot using almost an identical name previously.

Rita said...

Masochist- got the same impression as well. It's'like he has been relying on an intern's lazy-ass work.

Ian Labitue said...

i'm going with the sjp and matthew broderick guess. their relationship seems to have been struggling for a while.

medusa said...

I like the Kevin Bacon/Kyra Sedgwick guess but isn't she currently best known for her TV show? The claim that her "movies will be in the toilet in no time" makes little sense in that context. It's not her movies which have created her "far more swimming" professional situation.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are a better fit, I think. I will say, that for both couples, I think of them more as New York, not Hollywood. I know that "Hollywood" is probably being used as shorthand for the film business, but since Ted uses it twice it made me think he's talking more about a west coast based couple.

Rita said...

Also, to add to Medusa's post: Kyras Sedwick's show just got cancelled, even if she keeps getting nominations every year for her role, whether Emmys or Golden Globes. So, she's not doing better then Bacon, who keeps getting offers for HBO movies and mini-series.

As for SJP: she's already confirmed to be a blind. I think hers goes to 3 years back.

Tamara said...

Ok, here's a far out guess: Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest. She starred in The Fog (see Ted's later hint about "clearing the fog") and Christopher Guest wrote Best in Show about dog shows (see Ted's "top dog" reference.) Her movies have been crap lately, but she's still probably pulling in more $$ than Christopher, who was once fairly popular (Spinal Tap, Princess Bride, etc.) but that's gone away. Plus the tri-name for her: Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Jamie Lee Curtis. Thoughts?

misswendy said...

The reason I like the Kevin/Kyra guess is because Ted seems to hint that this is a couple where the man was more prominent and now the women is. Also, "The Closer" was cancelled because Kyra Sedgwick is leaving the show, not because it had grown less popular. I guess she could be leaving to try to save her marriage. The reason I don't like them for this is because Kevin Bacon has never struck me as the type of person who cared that much about fame. He's been doing his own thing for so many years now and I don't see how his wife having a career has stopped him. I do think this will end up being someone like them though. Maybe the SJP/Matthew Broderick guess is right? I was also thinking Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, but I know they are tagged for another one.

Megley said...

Ted clarified that Cubby and Chubby are two separate vicers. Probably has more to do with similar behavior than a familial connection.

Megley said...

Also, it was revealed that Sedgwick and Bacon are the blind couple heading to divorce court because of the husband's drinking.

LMS130 said...

@Tamara - I really like the Jamie Lee Curtis/Christopher Guest theory. One of JLC's most famous movies is A Fish Called Wanda, which ties in nicely with all the water references!

Cathy said...

@Megley - I'm pretty sure you're referring to a CDAN blind, not one of Ted's.

medusa said...

But wasn't Jamie Lee Curtis always the more famous one? Even during the height of his success with Waiting For Guffman/Best In Show/Spinal Tap, I feel like she was always the bigger household name. But I also don't see any big surge in her popularity recently that would lend itself to saying "he's drowning her shadow."

I don't mean to always be the Negative Nelly (or Debbie Downer, to make the SNL connection), but this really reads to me like a couple where the power balance has shifted recently and I don't see that here.

blurry vice said...

Aug 1

"Dear Ted:
I'm on to you, Ted. I haven't forgotten Chubby Asparagus from way back when. Maybe you forgot he was Chubby though and made him a Cubby, no? Totally love how you're mixing up the Blinds on us. I'm thinking Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
—Sam

Dear Best Secretary Ever:
Nice try, doll. With so many dirty little B.V. names circling around, don't you know that some of them are going to become related by a few degrees of separation (but with nearly exact life stories in play)? Hence Cubby and Chubby Asparagus. Sorry, Cubs ain't Chris, and Chubs and Cubs are two different mid-life dudes. Does that clear the fog?"

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/afternoon_bitch-back_cubby-chubby_blind/255545#ixzz1UA3joSJk

Tamara said...

I think Gwen and Gavin is a pretty good guess too, although I wouldn't exactly call them "middle-aged." But Bush has apparently reunited, so Gavin must be eyeing a bit of a comeback. (I'll be first in line to snatch him up if he becomes available, lemmetellya.)

KaDixonLaw said...

The Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale guess is a great one, but the only movie Gwen has done is The Aviator back in 2004. There is no doubt about Gavin being yummy, though! : )

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Cubby Asparagus. Are they Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar? Love you!
—Nic

Dear Great Guess:
No, but those two sure have been fighting the imminent breakup rumors for a helluva long time!"

"Dear Ted:
Immediate guess for Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Chubby Asparagus: Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell. Am I close?
—Chicago Jen

Dear Not Really:
Lucy and Cubby are really more of an established couple, pretty long-term. I realize, by Hollywood standards, Rebecca and Jerry are getting to that stage, but they're just not there yet. Think slightly less attractive, also."

"Dear Ted:
Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Cubby Asparagus have to be Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. He's been in so many failed sitcoms and she keeps landing the good gigs. If you don't answer I'll just assume I'm right.
—Hannah

Dear Correctomundo:
Oh no, guess I had better answer! Lucinda and Cubby are not the "funny" types, so no. Tho I can't get through all the wrong B.V.s, so no assumptions, ‘K?"

keetz4 said...

When ted says a few degees of separation, I think he means there are so many BVs at this point that its inevitable some names will be similar like cubby A and chubby A.

Sasha said...

Degrees of separation= Kevin Bacon. Seven degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Tamara said...

Has it been established that the female of this soon-to-break-up duo is for sure an actress? I didn't pick up on that, necessarily. But I don't consider Gwen and Gavin to be less attractive than Rebecca and Jerry, so I kind of think they're out anyway.

KaDixonLaw said...

@Tamara - The last paragraph of the blind states that Lucy's "movies will be in the toilet soon." I suppose she could technically be a producer or even a director, but she definitely has a career in movies according to Ted.

Rita said...

I agree with Tamara. Per Ted's answers, Gwen and Gavin are out:

- very close guess to Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr.
- Not as good looking as Rebecca and Jerry
- Have a longer marriage than Rebecca and Jerry
- Not into comedy/funny stuff.

I wonder then if the couple isn't from TV. Have been married for at least a decade...

Rings a bell?

Gaylen said...

Maybe Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber? I don't think they are actually married, but she definitely still has name recognition and gets nominated frequently, while he's been in flops like Repo Men and Salt. I think the last nomination he got was a MTV movie award for Wolverine.

Robo Choco said...

Katy Perry / Russell Brand

Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise

Cyn said...

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley?

Cyn said...

Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker?

highway150 said...

if it's Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon:

-Kevin was in Mystic River (water references) and My Dog Skip (reference to being top dog again)

Kyra does have some movies in post-production but she's definitely known for TV, so that's a glitch I think.

crila16 said...

What about Michael Douglas and KZJ? She just completed 3 movies...and all his movies have been flopping. He's not working on anythign right now.

crila16 said...

I don't see it as being Kevin and Kyra...only because he's always been the bigger actor. He has a movie coming out, he just did X-men, she does little nothing movies and TV. There's no competition between the 2.

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mina said...

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.

LMS130 said...

Melissa Gilbert and her husband Bruce Boxleitner just announced they are getting divorced. I looked up Bruce and he's an actor who was in Tron and now mostly does tv movies now. This could make sense with the comment about the Cubby's career being on the downslide. She is seeking not to pay spousal support so its confirmed that she's the breadwinner.

Cait said...

Brooklyn Decker & Andy Roddick ftw!

renay83 said...

No way are Brooklyn Decker and Andy Roddick less attractive than Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell.

sam_h786 said...

hmm, Megan Fox and hubby Brian Austin Green?

Fifth Year said...

What about Will Arnett and Amy Poehler? I just read something on Lainey's liveblog of the Emmy's that said
"Poor Will Arnett. He deserves a hit". Thoughts?

Lyn said...

Fifth Year: Will Arnett and Amy Poehler were already notted, which is good because I like these two together! I was thinking maybe the Arquettes til Ted said that they aren't the funny type- wouldn't Courtney Cox and David Arquette qualify as comedy actors? Hmmm...
P.S. Nice avatar, Shasha, I actually hit my screen cause I thought that was a real bug! :p

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