Monday, January 24, 2011

Bonus Blind: Cruella Lies to Save Her Evil Ass

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind: Cruella Lies to Save Her Evil Ass


To Die ForThe older Cruella St. Shackles gets, the weirder this broad becomes. She's shocked Hollywood a number of times with erratic movie choices, her boobs, her venom, her dubious choice in men, hell, even her damn clothes constantly get attacked—or worshipped.
And, weirdly enough, Cruella's begun doing some of her best acting work in ages. Which is always a sign that her personal life is a disaster:
"She's busy telling the world how great her family life is," reveals a very-inside Cruella camper, "and, you can believe it's not."
Yep, while Cruella tells any media rag that'll listen how simple and homey her big-star life really is, just the opposite is true. The broad's kids are messes (in many regards), the husband's cheating and drugging again and the bitch is getting treated horribly by her own damn mother!
Jeez, we're starting to almost feel sorry for the tough old star, but, sorry, not quite.
And the surest sign that Cruella's close to cracking? In deciding how best to cope with her crapfest of a life (much of which she brought on herself by treating everyone within her reach like roach turds), C's decided the best method will be…beating everybody to the tabloid punch.
In other words, she knows former members of her team are threatening to not only write books about her, but, just rip her to shreds, period. She also knows it's only a matter of time before the media becomes more aware of her myriad lies, including the ones about her physical appearance.
So, bit by bit, Cruella has decided to start telling half-truths about her "truths." To the press.
They've already started to get out. But, we should tell Cruella she shouldn't have bothered.
It's only going to make things worse.
And It Ain't: Jennifer Lopez, Sharon Stone, Jada Pinkett Smith

This is the 5th Cruella St. Shackles Blind Vice.  Please see our label below for our other posts on the past Cruella/Marky BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Nicole Kidman

53 comments:

MISCH said...

what about Goopie....that's a work of fiction

blurry vice said...

True dat. Gwyneth hasn't been eliminated for this. Nicole Kidman still top suspect though, esp since JLo is now eliminated. NK just fits better all around.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Can you remind us why you hate Cruella St. Shackles so much? I mean, she lies to the press, doesn't treat people well, has a husband who cheats...Isn't that 99 percent of Hollywood, anyway? If she is who I think she is, I have to say, I kind of like her as an actress, and I even like the way she looks.
—Candide

Dear True, But...:
Usually said celeb has a redeeming quality that still makes us love them. As for Cruella? Not really. Even to those closest to her, she's a friggin' nightmare. There is nothing nice or sweet about this bitch."

kristin said...

the whole secret baby people cover made me think this is Nicole Kidman even more, he alludes to that in the blind

Lila said...

The clues don't fit Gwynnie at. all. Plus, she's the one major celeb I've spent any time around and there's a reason she's friends with seemingly everyone in H'wood - she's actually incredibly nice and sweet. And my BS detector is very, very good.

It's Kidman all the way. There's something (big) we don't know about this new baby business - maybe it's Keith's mistress's baby, and the mistress was paid off? Maybe it's that Nic's first biological kid - Sunday whatever, was from a surrogate, too, as many people suspect. Remember how skinny she was in the perfect white pants like 4 days after supposedly giving birth? I've given birth. White pants? No way, no how.

jjonefiftypb said...

Also didn't Nicole Kidman recently fess up to having botox treatments? Is that part of what Ted is alluding to when he says she is not owning up to little bits of truth? I wonder what he means when he says her kids are messes? Is he talking about Sunday and the new one or Tom Cruises kids?

jjonefiftypb said...

Sorry that should have read now owning up to bits of truth,

Michelle said...

Completely agree, jjonefiftypb-this is about the admission of using botox. She said something about how she tried it once and didn't like it so she stopped. Denying it completely became way too ridiculous. She's also said in the press recently that her kids chose living with Tom over her. Didn't really give details as to why other than that living in Hollywood is a more glamorous life than being in TN. This is definitely Nicole!

MH

Duskyjewel said...

Ted has written about both Cruella (the BV) and Nicole K. ( by name) as women who use their kids for publicity. So much so, that the kids have disdain for their mom and don't want to deal with her. Well, this past Christmas NK told the press how she misses her kids and is sad they choose to live with their dad. Some people assumed it was a veiled reference to Scientology brainwashing.

If NK is Cruella, her comments would be another 1/2 truth, like her Botox admission. She admits to having used Botox, but not to other cosmetic surgery. She admits to not having a relationship with her kids, but omits that they may have good reason to avoid her.

Also, did you see her red carpet PDA with Keith? She was all over him. I was perplexed because she was not doing her usual icy thing and she could smile. I wonder if this whole new nice, humble, lovey, new mom thing is what Ted is talking a out. It is such a 180 degree turn, I wonder just how bad the coming tsunami is?

Michelle said...

I just have to say, it's Blinds like this one that I LOVE. This one and Shafterella. These are the two that I would ask about if I happened to run into Ted in the grocery store and said just confirm it for me, I promise I won't tell....this is just such sociopathic, Joan Crawford-ish stuff and she's been hiding so well for so long (at least she had me fooled for awhile). She came off so much better in the press than Tom after their divorce, won the Oscar, etc. Guess it is all unraveling now. Yes, it will be very interesting to see how bad it gets. When Ted starts gloating that's usually not a good sign.

MH

Clancy said...

Michelle, I completely agree, Cruella is my fave (along with anything about SJP and Matthew B). Maybe it's because I'm Australian and I'm used to seeing her splashed all over the mags here I feel like I 'know' here more.

It really did seem like trouble in paradise on a couple of occasions recently. On the red carpet of some event, can't remember, Keith started talking and she just steamrolled him and the same thing happened on Oprah's show down under - he was talking and she just butt in. On both occasions she didn't turn to him again to allow him to finish - she was taking control of the situation. Keith was left looking like a diamante manbag and seemed somewhat out of it to boot, not his usual chatty self. I remember it piqued my interest and now this ...

Alejandra said...

I think this is Nicole too. I think the reference to the kids is about her adopted kids with Tom.

Rita, Montreal said...

MH, Clancy: absolutely agree. Remember when Ted used to say (right after Nicole and Tom's divorce), that Nicole was a good person, and you never hear anyone complaining about her attitude? Well all that changed after her bodyguard simply hit a paparazzi and no apologies followed. From that moment on, Ted's eyes were blown open and he started digging: thus the moniker Cruella.

The awful truth about it all: remember when your mother told you not to lie, for you will need more lying to cover up your first fib, and one of these days it'll catch up and bite you in the ass? I think the Big Poop is hitting the fan for NK right now. Wonder if she will take Tom down with her.

The thing is, even if Tom is leading a double life, personally I think he is leading it with a consenting adult, no harm there (besides the scientology control freakishness), and he is reputed to be really and genuinly nice to people... Which tells me that you can lead your double life, but you really don't need to destroy everyone on your way up... or down.

Lila said...

It's telling that Ted rolled out this Cruella BV just the day before the Oscar noms, and behold, a Kidman nom for best actress. She'll lie about absolutely anything right now.

I think Ted likes to time these things for maximum impact. Like how he came out with the Toothy Tile blind where he propositioned the guy from an alley right when Jake went public with Taylor as his new beard. Ted is a bit ruthless that way.

jjonefiftypb said...

Oh I like good old Toothy Tile Jake Gyllenhall. That was the biggest shocker I had when I first started reading Te's column along with Angelina Jolie and Miley Cyrus. I think I was definitely celebrity nieve before I started reading Ted's column!! So glad to have places like this to post!

Sandy said...

With all of NK's wildness that Ted alludes too, plus the compulsive marrying of gay men, I wonder if NK is also gay? Someone should ask Ted.

Zara said...

I think it's Nicole too. I'm so curious about her supposed 'wildness' because she really seems so controlling and uptight. I'm dying for more details!

jjonefiftypb said...

Hey maybe referring to the fact that when she creeping around with Ewan McGregor she got pregnant and then had a miscarriage, cause we all know it wasn't Tom Cruise's child.... I wonder if Katie Holmes has a blind??

Tara said...

@Sandy, I think Ted said something about her being asexual once? Like she was too cold to even remotely get intimate no matter who it was with, had no interest whatsoever. Maybe like 2-3 Cruella BVs ago?

Stacey said...

I agree that it's Nicole. And Michelle I agree, I love these Cruella blinds. We will probably hear some really crazy stuff about her eventually.

If you think about it, it is a tad unusual for the kids to choose to live with their dad and not their mom. Not that it never happens, but moms usually get primary custody, right?

And I always think of Lainey's blind saying no baby bottles in the house and nannies constantly watching the baby she said she so desperately wanted. All she really cares about is her career. She used to hold that baby like a sack of potatoes. Looked like she had no idea what to do with the kid.

Tab said...

We can add a couple more It Ain'ts to the list for Cruella. The relevant bits from today's Bitch-back:

Dear Ted:
Is Cruella St. Shackles Demi Moore? Also, why the hell is she texting Miley Cyrus? She's trying way too hard to hold onto her youth. It's embarrassing.
—meganmn23

Dear Hopeless in Hollywood:
Demi is one stellar guess, no doubt. She totally wishes she was half her age, but what can you do? Well, aside from get some more work done. Her daughter Rumor is BFFs with Cyrus, so there's no surprise she might slip her a text here and there. Not exactly Vicey if you ask me!

Dear Ted:
For some reason I think Cruella St. Shackles is Oprah Winfrey. She has been in the news lately with the whole "me and Gayle aren't lesbians" and having to "defend" her relationship with Steadman and now she is in the news about her shocking family secret.
—Julie

Dear O No:
You think we would really go after the Big O? I mean, it's a really good guess on your part, but Winfrey is definitely not this devilish.

Clancy said...

Sneaky Ted. People must be closing in on guessing the identity of Butter Pussy so he's trying diversionary tactics with ye olde rhetorical question, which may fool some people but not us Teddy boy! As well all know, the answer to that oh-so innocent question is a resounding yes! :)

Caz1310 said...

Whilst I agree with the majority that Nic is the major contender, has it ever been established or at least suggested who Keith is cheating on her with? He was with Niki Taylor for a few years yet there are rumours that he is gay. Is there any evidence to this apart from what Ted says?

Tara said...

Aside from Marky Sweet Puss, I haven't heard much about Urban being gay, Caz. Hookers/hoes/booze and coke for days though. I would love a good Urban and Kenny Chesney BV though;)

Tab said...

Looks like Lila was right earlier:

Dear Ted:
Is Cruella St Shackles really Gwyneth "Too Perfect" Paltrow? She seems fake and cold as ice!
—Liz

Dear So Close:
Such a fab guess, but wrong actress. Think even icier.

Nicole seems all but locked up at this point...

Chon said...

I don't know call me crazy even though when I was reading them all it did sound like Nicole I have never seen that side of her (well not personally as I don't know her!) I always think she comes across as reallly nice. But she does seem to create a lot of hate in online forums so perhaps I am really naive. But if it is Nicole I would really love to know what it is she gets up to!!! She must be a much much better actress than I thought!

Lila said...

I don't think Ted has said that Marky Sweet Puss is gay. If Urban screws around with guys, I think it's safe to say he is bisexual -- everything points to his having a robust liking for sex with the ladies, too.

Tara said...

Ted actually does insinuate that he is more same sex inclined by saying he does not have interest in Nicole's boobies in the Cruella boob job blind. I can see what you are saying from the blind with him getting it on regularly with his assistant or whatever that it does not flat out say he is gay, but it sure seems like Marky has a preference in Ted's BV world. However, I don't see much in the way of outright rumors about him being gay in a web search.

Does anyone recall the blind, I cannot remember who the author is, about the husband who went out drinking w/his buds who all hooked up and the wife went back to the room to sleep? Was it Lainey? I can't find it. It was suspected that was Nicole and Keith too.

blurry vice said...

Lila - see the first Cruella and Marky BV. Marky is gay.

Caz1310 said...

Despite what Ted says I still don't buy Keith as gay. It's wishful thinking on his part. He had a 2-3 year relationship with Niki Taylor right before Nic. Niki would have no reason to beard. I do believe Nic is a master media/PR manipulator though. She would have learned that from Tom.

zarami said...

I haven't heard anything about NK's mother though - I'm so curious to know what that hint means. That's why I thought it was Gwyneth at first, because her mother is famous too. Maybe Ted was trying to fake us out. Does anyone know what this could refer to?

Clancy said...

zarami, I tried to send a question to Ted about that but I kept getting that freaking error message so I gave up.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Cruella St. Shackles Demi Moore? Also, why the hell is she texting Miley Cyrus? She's trying way too hard to hold onto her youth. It's embarrassing. Also,

if Natalie Portman wins Best Actress, do you think the Oscar "curse" will end? Her relationship seems good, but this is Hollywood.
—meganmn23

Dear Hopeless in Hollywood:
Demi is one stellar guess, no doubt. She totally wishes she was half her age, but what can you do? Well, aside from get some more work done. Her daughter

Rumor is BFFs with Cyrus, so there's no surprise she might slip her a text here and there. Not exactly Vicey if you ask me! As for Natalie, let's hope so.

That grueling Black Swan filming was curse enough. We love her and her baby already!

Dear Ted:
For some reason I think Cruella St. Shackles is Oprah Winfrey. She has been in the news lately with the whole "me and Gayle aren't lesbians" and having to

"defend" her relationship with Steadman and now she is in the news about her shocking family secret.
—Julie

Dear O No:
You think we would really go after the Big O? I mean, it's a really good guess on your part, but Winfrey is definitely not this devilish.

Dear Ted:
All the crazy media hype over Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes made me think about something. Do beards such as Cruella St. Shackles gasp, secretly grin or

shake with fear for the future of their careers if it is found out they are beards? Guilt by association can be a bitch, eh?
—FSK

Dear Trade-Off:
Please, it's hardly a secret what people do for fame in this town. Love Ricky, but he's not going to go there with someone who has secrets that would shock

America. He's not an idiot, contrary to what some circles may believe. Scientologists are clearly fair game.

Dear Ted:
Is Cruella St Shackles really Gwyneth "Too Perfect" Paltrow? She seems fake and cold as ice!
—Liz

Dear So Close:
Such a fab guess, but wrong actress. Think even icier."

talia said...

first blind;
"Are there any straight straight people left in Hollywood? Apparently not.
Marky Sweet-Puss is a sweet enough dude, dog though he may have been at one time. He cleaned up his act a bit once he hooked up with chilly actress type Cruella St. Shackles, who miraculously started Marky off on a far more domesticated diet of monogamous sex and healthier living."

the "straight straight" and the "monogamous sex" wording doesn't sound to me that keith is gay. i believe him to be bi.

and the birth via surrogate could be the first step to acknowledge that sunday didn't come that natural either (remember the rumour that she's a hermaphrodite...? maybe that's also what turns keith on ;P ))

I said...

I must say I was completely fooled by Nicole Kidman. I thought she was the sweetest thing. I remember seeing her in an old movie once, all red curly hair and thin lips, and thought she seemed so genuine. LOL!!

And what does this imply about Naomi Watts? Another actress I just love and who seems really sweet and genuine.

I said...

P.S. I could totally see Keith being either bi or completely gay.

Many innate gay men can sleep with women (so the "monogamous sex" thing is not so far-fetched) but overall prefer men. And the gay men that do hook up with women prefer these women to be either (i) older women or (ii) very attractive women (which fits with both NK and Nikki Taylor).

JMO, of course.

I said...

PPS. To me, bi means truly have no preference between men and women while gay would mean a preference of men over women (even though they can hook up with both). I don't believe that hooking up with a woman precludes a man from being gay.

Clancy said...

I, I hear ya. This whole blog has blown my mind. Here I was thinking A-list celebs were all so groovy and together and talented, turns out most of them are raging, neurotic hedonists of the highest order.

I really hope the top picks are right because I'm telling people left, right and centre different celebs are gay, gay, gay, bi, drug addict, has gay sex in plans, swingers, wees on people, poos on people, and, of course, the big one, Oprah going postal on a guy. Still can't get over that one.

As for Naomi Watts, I have to say I've been waiting on news about her too. And also Simon Baker just quietly, who has been married for what seems like forever - hopefully it's not too good to be true.

talia said...

from lainey today:

As I said last night on Twitter, I love this dress so much I’d actually consider hitting up a fraud marriage for 9 years, employing a philandering country singer to be my husband, walking around with a pillow during my pregnancy, and botoxing the sh-t of out my face if I could look like Nicole Kidman in this Nina Ricci.

Caz1310 said...

That's what I love about Lainey..she says it like she sees it and speaks plainly.

Rita, Montreal said...

@Sandy: regarding Nicole's wildness, she really used to be super wild in her young age. When dating Tom during Days of Thunder filming, they used to go skydiving during breaks, and do neckbraking and daring stuff. This was reported by the then director of the movie, when Nicole, who has just moved to LA, was living on his couch!

Does anybody still wonder how Nicole jumped into an arranged marriage with a gay man? She had nothing when she moved to California. No serious movie offers, no home, nothing. But everybody who new her back then agreed, behind her doll-like stillness, she loved and thrived on adventure. At that age I guess, she thought it quite the adventure being married to Tom Cruise, whom I hear, was really good to her and they were great friends until the break-up. And for that one, CDAN reveals that it was because of getting pregnant by her doctor... Don't know if I believe that one.

Wow, if I remember what was said during the filming of Days of Thunder, I must be getting old. Thank goodness though my memory is intact... for the time being!

I said...

@Caz: regarding Lainey. She is based out of Toronto. When I lived in Toronto (up until about 2 months ago) I heard some interesting stuff about Lainey.

As I was told by a writer/columnist ... every once in a while Lainey sends out these invites to certain people. The certain people are usually writers/columnists/media/entertainment people (like the writer/columnist who I met). Anywhoo, these invites are for a "gathering" at a location only disclosed at the last minute. And during these gatherings, Lainey spills details about all the blinds and, additionally, about other gossip she doesn't even post. She names names. Apparently it's shocking and titillating all at once. That's what I was told by this writer/columnist who attended one of the gatherings. And, not surprisingly, she tells me A LOT of the reveals are about very good-looking married male actors hooking up with men at awards shows, parties and the like.

Rita, Montreal said...

Hmm, thought Lainey was based out of Vancouver (which she is quite proud of), and even though she works with eTalk, now affiliated to the E! Channel, most of her filming for the show is done from Vancouver.

Although I don't know Lainey personnally, so I couldn't really confirm from gossip if she truly holds these kind of meetings. Am sure though people in the business «help» each other out.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Were you as surprised as the rest of the world to hear about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's new baby? My puppy Sasha needs to know!
—Heather

Dear Easy One:
No. There's not a whole lot Kidman can do to surprise me anymore. And I so mean that.

Dear Ted:
You kill me with your nuances regarding Nicole Kidman! She seems so vanilla. It is intriguing that marrying Tom Cruise afforded her the opportunity to star in dozens of flops at top dollar while Katie Holmes is a Stepford wife whose career is in the sewer. Unlike Nicole, she used to have some sparkle.
—S

Dear Stuck in the Past:
But the real Nicole is everything but vanilla! As for Katie, she knows what she gave up marrying Tom. Think she was fine trading in her Dawson's Creek career to be an A-list wife. We just wish her career was more of a priority than buying heels for Suri. For the record, Team Truth loved D.C. And we'd like to see Katie be an actress on something other than a cursed miniseries. Maybe with something decent she used to pull, like Pieces of April.

Caz1310 said...

Thanks for the Lainey info @I. Nic was an extraordinary actress in her youth - Dead Calm and the miniseries Bangkok Hilton were fab. She is indeed scheming - she was with Marcus Graham, a well-respected (and hunky) Aus actor when she began Days of Thunder and he was reportedly heartbroken by her trading up. Even earlier I vaguely recall her cheating on Tom Burlinson (another AUS actor) to hook up with someone else too. I think she used Tom however their affection in the early years at least did seem genuine. Maybe she and Jen Garner are peas in a pod. And there are still big portions of celeb gossip columnists who think her sister Antonia carried Sunday Rose.

Caz1310 said...

Oh, and there are rumours that she and Ewan McGregor hooked up whilst filming Moulin Rouge and he was the father of the baby she miscarried. Of course this is purely gossipy speculation and this will never be verified.

I said...

@Rita: I just googled and you're right that according to Lainey's google page she currently lives in Vancouver. However, the writer/columnist who attended one of these Lainey meetings lives in Toronto so I just assumed that Lainey must too. I met the writer/columnist when she came over to check out the mirror I was selling (moving sale from T.O. to Mtl.) and we got to talking. So that's how I got that info.

As for Nicole Kidman, very good comparison to Jen Garner. Which again leads to the speculation ... maybe that's the way to succeed in this world. But then again, are these people really happy? Interesting reading though, that's for sure!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Hearing about Nicole Kidman's use of a surrogate got me thinking. Is it common for celebrities to fake their baby bumps and actually use surrogates?
—Emily

Dear Faking It:
No, only crazies pull that dumb crap. If you are going to use a surrogate then come out with it and be honest. Even Camille Grammar was honest on that front.

It's not a biggie if you aren't feeling the baby bump, but don't lie—that would just be a field day for gossipmongers to bash on any celeb."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
In light of The New Yorker article on Scientology, when you said that Nicole Kidman was maybe a good mother by staying away from her kids with Tom Cruise, did you have their "disconnect" policy in mind? I get that there is more to your dislike of her, just had to ask. Can't stop thinking about the article, I am so deeply upset.
—Jas

Dear Sinful Synergy:
Those two def did not have the best of relaysh mergers. Never went too deep into Tom's Scientology crap. Nicole simply isn't as warm a parent to Connor and Isabella as Tom is. Example: Nicole likes photographers to be around when she's parenting them; Tom, not so much. The article is chilling, and I totally get where you're coming from. Just wish Tom did, too."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Who do you like even a little bit: Shafterella, Fake à la Ferocity or Cruella St. Shackles? Who's slicker and who has fooled us the most in public?
—kagiso

Dear Some Single, Some Mingle:
Fake à la Ferocity, by far, even though, ultimately, she and Cruella are pretty much in the same sinking boat of bitchery. But Shafterella still has a chance

(barely). She's working through her rough situation and getting on with her life—as I like to see all my Vicey celebs do well, eventually!"

Caz1310 said...

Slightly off topic. The NY article on Scientology is worth reading. Are people (including celebs) totally stoopid to get involved in this? WTF are they thinking? Kidman may not be the nicest warmest person around but at least she got away from this nonsense.

Rita said...

Caz, read the article as well.

What I got from this, is that most wannabes go through at least some of Scientology-related «classes». Some go on and spend hundreds of THOUSANDS of dollars, some get derailed and get into the sect, making less than 50$ a week. and others, opt to stay away.

Would also encourage all to read it. It starts slow, and then really BUILDS. That Scavidge guy is evil! Tom will get away without a scratch, for he would say that he assumed his millions of $$ in donation would be going to pay people working at the Center.

That being said, Nicole Kidman .is one strong cookies for not having submitted to Scientology. The way it's represented, you really have no choice but to submit, or leave. And even after you leave, sometimes, they hunt you down. SCARY

MrMoo said...

Thanks to Kate-16 for digging this up...

http://por-chr.cimcontent.net/articles/entertainment-eonline/20110225/b227848/


It was on Awful Truth this morning, and it got taken down later in the day for some reason... Legal, I guess?

Anyway, in my mind, it confirms Nicole as Cruella! Anyone disagree?

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