Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ted doesn't use two names for same person!

This is important information from Ted! He revealed in a letter response today that he does NOT use different nicknames for the same person. We were never given that information before, and in fact have suspected the same person for more than one BV in the past. This has been a topic of hot debate. Now we know!

Here is the letter about this in Ted's column today:

Dear Ted:
Has Crotch Uh-Lastic ever invited Toothy Tile to swim in his pool? Have you ever used two different monikers for the same person?
—Peter, New York City

Dear Peter Patrol:
I believe no, and certainly not. That would be like double skinny-dipping!


Anonymous said...

Hmmm....that is very interesting. A lot of people have assumed that Angelina Jolie was Fake A La Ferocity as well as Vampirella Vein-Pop (that was a LOOOONG time ago) so his finally saying he doesn't "double dip" certainly pops that theory.

Anonymous said...

ake g. exposed!!!! read today's awful truth: toothy must be jake g.- ted signed it "toothy tell all"- the brokeback/ jake connection is obvious.
Dear Ted:
I love your column and even if you piss me off more often than not (especially when you badmouth Jennifer Aniston and Jen Garner), I just can't stop reading and following your work. I wish I knew how to quit ya! Is James Franco Toothy Tile?
Dear Toothy Tell All:
No, but dollmuff, you're so close more than a few fagolas in T-town are sweatin' plenty right about now. Nice detective work.

blurry vice said...

Another little bit of info:

Dear Ted:
Are the And It Ain't choices (1) always (2) sometimes or (3) never themselves the subjects of other Blind Vices?

Dear Multiple Fess:
There is a golden ding showering you behind Door No. 2, darling!

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Has Keanu Reeves ever been the subject of one of your Vices? If so, which one?

Dear Reviving Reeves:
Yes. But, it was ages ago.

blurry vice said...


"Dear Ted:
My mind is spinning out of control now. You mean to tell me that none of the following are the same person: Crotch Uh-Lastic, Crisp Lisp, Oded Good-Head, Public Thrust, Dimpled Drew, Lloyd Boy-Toyed, Matinee Mooner, Furrowed Frank, Sinewy Slim, Vanilla Fill-Ya, Renaldo Rim-Me, Slurpa Pop-Off, Meatless Member, Plumper Dumper, Jiggly Wiggle-Poof, Press Prune, Dubba Do-Me and Prance Butt?

Dear Homo-Whammy:
Precisely. Have fun, babe!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
The link to the "academic paper" on Toothy Tile in the Bitch-Back column was very insightful. I know that everyone thinks they know who Toothy is, but I still think that it's possible that it's someone else who is flying "under the radar." Would you really make it that easy for us? Keep it up—I live for reading your column every morning!

Dear Love of the Chase:
Many of our Blind Vice victims fly under the radar; you'd be so surprised."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You've said in the past that you use the same moniker for the same celeb in all Blind Vices. Yet recently, some Blind Vices sound like an old Blind Vice celeb under a new moniker. Have you changed your ways, or are they really two different people? Thanks for clarifying!

Dear FBI:
All Blind monikers are exclusive to their smutty selves. No repeats. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been reading the Awful Truth for a few months and love the stories and Blind Vices. My problem, the nicknames for stars. Have any of these names been solved? Can you email me a list of the names and who they may or may not be? Or is there a place at the Awful Truth that has this information? I've posted some on the message boards and asked the same thing but never got an answer. It's frustrating coming in new and not having a clue who or what is being discussed or where to get the information. Your help will be much appreciated.

Dear We're on It!
Marc Snetiker is already working on a fabulous database of Blind Vice clues to be released soon! Until then, you can click on the Blind Vice category in the right-hand column to research all the dee-lish ones that have been posted in the past."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I love your website. I check it daily, but I still don't know all of the rules I guess you'd say for the Blind Vices. I know you use fake names, but do you also ever have to change facts or anything like that? And do the "and it ain'ts" relate to the real people?

Dear Blindness:
Nope, the fake monikers are enough to get these bad boys (and girls) past the snitty blowhards in legal. Facts remain the same—that's the whole point! The AIA's may lead you on the right track...or purposely steer you away? Who knows? "