Friday, August 22, 2008

One Spoiled-Starlet Blind Vice

New Blind Vice:

One Spoiled Starlet Blind Vice
Quite surprisingly, life is unfortunately ugly right now for Ooma Offspring, talent-less terror 'bout town. See, certain Biz dealings can be a tough swallow for the mucho rich, wannabe actress, not that you'd even know it.
O2 is very much the black sheep of her quasi-famous clan, as she's not exactly as gifted as the rest of her fam members, certainly not as fetching. Celebrated life is cruel! And sometimes poor Double O has to bullishly bear the brunt of nasty-ass jokes, but the latest one is happening behind the scenes and behind 'Ma's back (until now of course).
O.O. has been gearing up to go on a publicity tour for her latest pro endeavor, which is coming out soon, so like any "star" on a project, the corporation usually fronts the green for its talent's hair and makeup.
Natch, Ooma's peeps have been insisting on the best of the best in necessary beautifying professionals, and the suits are very reluctant to dish out the moola required. In their opinion, Offspring's not worth the makeover dough because she's just too unfortunate looking, and no Ken Paves is going to change that (highly biased, admittedly) fact.
So sad, 'cause members of O's equally famous extended fam are all devastatingly gorge with solid acting careers to match. What's a wannabe to do? (Pay for it yourself, sister, like, hello?)
And it ain't: Bindi Irwin, Lordes Leon, Ali Lohan

I have an idea who this is.... Please comment!


* Our top guess: Rumer Willis *

*** Update Feb 25 2009 - We were correct! Ted has semi-revealed this to be Rumer Willis. ***

20 comments:

blurry vice said...

Rumer Willis

Anonymous said...

Yes, Rumer Willis

The Weber Ladies' Blogs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Weber Ladies' Blogs said...

I agree...definitely Rumer. She did look better than she ever hasat the Bunny House (or whatever its called) premier.

Can we talk a minute about Holly Madison/Criss Angel rumors? Gross!

Anonymous said...

Clearly it's Rumer Willis. I just don't get how Demi Moore's kids could all be so unattractive either.

Anonymous said...

Demi Moore has had more than 500,000.000$ in plastic surgery people.... look at her pictures when she was 20! Her daughters are a mix of her and Bruce Willis, who is, let's face it, not 'Brad Pitt'!

Anonymous said...

My first thought was Rumer too.

Anonymous said...

Rumer Willis

Boss Bunny said...

It's SO Rumer. And that dress at the premiere? So inappropriate. Although there's been something done to make her chin less Leno-y. Demi's had so much work done that you'd think she'd have taken care of that already.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Rumer of couse. I don't even know why he made this a "blind" item. I NEVER know who the people are he is talking about, that's why I come here, but even I knew this one.

Doodle Whore said...

Totally Potato Head. I mean Rumer. Actually, I thought she looked pretty good on the red carpet for House Bunny. Yikes, did I just admit to that?

Anonymous said...

what about ozzy osbornes other daughter?

Anonymous said...

I always thought Rumer was the best looking of the willis-moore offspring. How about khloe khardashian? Ted did say a "quasi-famous" family. The k's (and "extended family"- think the Jenner boys) are now reality stars. I think I read somewhere that Khloe's going to be on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice and will be doing promos for it.

Anonymous said...

but it says that they have solid acting careers....do any of them act?

Anonymous said...

No, I don't think any of the Kardashians actually act. It's gotta be Rumer--when you hear "unfortunate looking" and "Hollywood" together, who else could it be?

Anonymous said...

This is Rumer.

Bruce Willis is devastatingly handsome in real-life. (Seriously can't breath good looking) Of all the girls Tallulah is the prettiest. They are all pretty compared to normal girls. Just not as pretty as the super pretty fake Disney girls. I don't think Rumer will have plastic surgery as she has always been quite adamant she wouldn't. Growing up she saw what her mother did to conform to Hollywood's ideal of beauty and didn't approve.

Anonymous said...

definitely the ugly of the ugly, rumer willis!!

Anonymous said...

Thought Rumer too until i saw quasi famous? Wouldnt describe Bruce and Demi as such

Liz said...

Ted basically revealed this to be Rumer Willis today.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
This may sound a bit manipulative, but in the thick of all the depressing news about the economy and the world at large, I think your readers would love to hear you reveal a Blind Vice! That's the kind of news I'd actually enjoy hearing, lemme tell ya. So, if I guess correctly, maybe you'd be willing to confirm it? Here goes: I think that Ooma Offspring from One Spoiled-Starlet Blind Vice is Rumer Willis.
—Em

Dear Beggar:
Nothing else is free in this world, why should a Blind Vice be? Wink, wink to you, hon."

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