Saturday, February 20, 2010

Steve Carrell blind vice?

OK... many readers have e-mailed us begging to address this and make a post for it. Recently, Ted has revealed that Steve Carell is the subject of a blind vice. This was January 18, so it was one before then. We're shocked! The problem is, right now we don't know which one that is. A few people have written to him and he's eliminated him for a few. I will post those questions in the comments section for us to look for clues.

Until we figure this out... does anyone have an idea which blind vice is Steve Carell's???


blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Steve Carell the Stinky Carrot-Crotch? If not, how far back do we need to go to find a Blind Vice?

Dear Sherlock:
Way off—bod-wise, at least. Right genre, though."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Steve Carell as normal and kind as he seems? He seems like a humble family guy. Hope it's true!
—Office Lover

Dear Define Normal:
Sure he's normal by Hollywood standards...which means he's been a Blind Vice! Heart him though."

blurry vice said...

TEd mentioned Steve back in Sept in this post:

""The bigger prankster? I got a little bit more mischievous vibe from Pitt, so that would be my guess. He's kind of always looking for trouble."

—The Office and Inglourious Basterds star B.J. Novak (who is totally cute, real-man awesome, btw) when we asked him who was a bigger prankster on set, Steve Carell or Brad Pitt

We're a little surprised that Steve's all business at work, but can't say we're too shocked about Brad having some fun tricks up his sleeve. Like, his love life's kinda all trouble, right? No way can you live with Angelina Jolie and not pick up some crafty moves.

Read more:

blurry vice said...

Here are some old ones I am looking at:

Woody Drop-Hint

Saucy Bossy

blurry vice said...

Henry Skank


Chubby Asparagus?

blurry vice said...

Dimpled Drew?

blurry vice said...

Gore-Me Garth?

blurry vice said...

Pricey Dicey or Tubby Pay-Stub? Bravado Boom-Cocks?

The Spie said...

Isn't Bravado Boom-Cocks supposed to be either Simon Cowell or Ricky Gervais? Bravado's behavior doesn't seem to fit Carrell's personality, either real-life or in his films.

Sophie S. said...

I don't think he is Tubby Pay Stubby because Steve is married. We don't see him with any other women on his arm. This one is perplexing.

Unknown said...

I haven't been able to read through the comments for clues in the bitch backs yet, but based on Ted's response to the Stinky Carrot Crotch guess, I think being a comedian or comedy in general was probably mentioned in Carell's vice. Based on that, I think Henry Skank is the best guess out of the vices mentioned here. Though the timeline does NOT fit. The Office was in season 5 in October 2008, and he'd long since starred in 40 Year Old Virgin (which, arguably, was his career turning point), so he was hardly secs past struggling. Further, he'd been married for at least a couple years at that point, so Ted probably wouldn't say he was dating 3 girls at the same time and gifting them "recently," he'd mention cheating on his wife or something like that. But also, as usual, the wording is confusing. Is this blind about "back when he was struggling" or is about some time in 2008?

I'm putting way too much thought into this. Carell's just one of my fav's, and despite everything that Ted's said about Hollywood, it's still so hard to believe that he's a Blind Vice.

duffgrl said...

I think it may be Henry Skank too but-don't even think the BV is that bad to be a blind.

The Spie said...

Duff: I think you're on to something. Carell's BV, given his personality and image, has to fall into one of two general categories. It's either a BV that we all wonder why it was bad enough to be a BV (what you can call the E Legal Made Him Do It Blind Vice), or one that goes all the way into Beware The Nice Ones territory, something that all of us in a million years would never think would be Steve Carell. I'm not thinking sexual here, but more like...well, remember that one blind that Lainey did a while back about Salma Hayek being the Boss From Hell? That type.

As for the other guesses, Henry Skank is really the only one where something in the BV doesn't rule out Carell, like the "unscripted TV show" thing for Woody Drop-Hint or the horror-film reference for Gore-Me Garth. And the BV does explicitly say that the three girls thing was prior to his monogamous relationship. Unless we can come up with something better, I think we could make Carell a main candidate for Henry Skank, but it's iffy.

Lynnie said...

How about Quidget Barks-a-Little from the "One Doozy of a Double Extramarital Affair" Blind Vice? A cute hollywood couple (wife is also an actress), steady paycheck (The Office), multitalented (TV, films and a comedian)?

Unknown said...

Ted had a blind vice about two friends (an actor and a producer-type) that were in the habit of going to massage parlors for happy endings. One wife knew. The other didn't. The wife in the know was threatening to blow their cover if they didn't quit. Or it went something like that.

Sorry I don't remember their BV names, but it sounded like Judd Apatow and Steve Carell to me.

The Spie said...

Stacy: Bro Massage was a Lainey blind, not a Ted one, and she semi-revealed it to be Chris Rock and Adam Sandler. Good thought, though, since Apatow was a common guess for one of the parties involved.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty obsessed with Steve Carrell, so the fact that he's one of Ted's BVs has got me in a tizzy! So I went through all the monikers which were suggested for him by Blurry (all good guessed in my opinion too!) so I could try and weed out any possibilities... I guess I have a little too much time on my hands during my son's nap lol...

Chubby Asparagus: is in "bad tv" and has gained weight recently. Steve is in pretty damn good shape, especially for his age! Also his hit tv show "The Office", which has led to many award noms for his starring role, doesn't qualify as "bad tv".

Gore-Me Garth: married and had sex with a random woman in front of the bartender at a bar. I have a hard time seeing a man of Carrell's age doing this, especially since he's so low-key. Technically it could be him, but I actually think this is a good candidate for Michael C. Hall!

Saucy Bossy: constantly seen in public flirting with women, as well as a man who has a child but isn't married. Steve Carrell is married with kids, and is never reported as being a flirt.

Woody Drop-Hint: star of some sort of reality series that's "unscripted". Also sounds like Woody is single. Carrell's show is scripted, and he's also married.

Tubby Pay-Stub: another one whose constantly seen out with different women whom he paid for their 'escort' services. Thankfully, Steve is only ever seen with his wife.

Bravada Boom-Cocks: a crass star whose public image is sloppy & unkempt. Steve is always dressed well and acts classy in the public eye. Ted also made the comment that BBC has a "different accent than Del Toro" which led most to think he's British especially since the moniker is BBC when shortened.

Quidget Barks-a-Little: often seen out with his beautiful wife and precious kiddies. We hardly ever see candid shots of Carrell's children. He lives in Massachusetts and does a pretty good job of staying out of the public eye except for when promoting his projects.

The three suggestions that I couldn't really refute were...

Henry Skank: someone whose a little more famous than Paul Rudd (and hinted to be a little larger than him size-wise too), way funnier than Chris Kattan, less suspicious-looking than David Spade, and a bit older than Dan Cook. This fits so far for Carrell, in my opinion. Other posters were commenting that Henry Skank might be Seth Rogen, but I don't think he fits at all. I highly doubt he was able to date three chicks at a time UNTIL way after he got really famous. Plus he's highly suspected for the Bart Farts-a-Lot moniker.

Dimpled Drew: could literally be any married male in Hollywood. Needs a closer look I guess. When I read it though, there was nothing to obviously "not" Carrell as this bv.

Pricey Dicey: is supposed to be adored by the Emmys and they "occasionally show that fact, come Fall". Steve Carrell has never won an Emmy, but has been nominated four times. But Ted says that Pricey Dicey was actually someone that many had thought might be the answer to Tubby Pay-Stub, and from what I saw on the boards, no one had even mentioned Carrell. So this is up in the air for me!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that was so ridiculously long, by the way! I just really love Steve Carrell :) I'll hunt for more and post the suggestions I think might fit him!

Wynter said...

It must be Henry Skank. I can't recall the exact interview, but a few years ago Jon Stewart had a guy on his show who used to work with Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert back when they did improv work. The guy who was interviewed was telling Jon was man-whores Steve and Stephen were back in the day. Apparently they were with different girls all the time and brought them back to their places.

Unknown said...

That strikes me as less than surprising. Even non-famous type people have that kind of experience in their twenties. I hope Carrell's Henry Skank; it's a pretty tame one.

Unknown said...

Hi The Spie! Thanks for clarifying about Lainey and the Chris Rock/Adam Sandler blind.

blurry vice said...

Thanks for the analysis literal chaos!

Kayla Bakes said...

There was another blind vice that references a funny guy on a hit tv show. It has to be that one, I just cant remember the name of the person.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My German shepherd rescue, Jake, and I are sitting here discussing Blind Vices. Jake wanted me to ask if you wouldn't mind giving us a clue as to which B.V. is Steve Carell's? We're totally stumped!

Dear Office Goss:
It's not too funny!"

Read more:

Unknown said...

maybe blither cheese e. from 01/06.

blurry vice said...


"Dear Ted:
Please tell me that there aren't any B.V.s in the cast of my favorite show, The Office. I love Steve, John and Jenna.
—Office fan

Dear Over the Top:
Aside from some of them having bigger egos than could fit in a friggin' huge, I mean huge, office—no. But if you ask me, some of them are just boring prick

wads, at times, and that's just not juicy enough for my standards."


"Dear Ted:
I'm confused. In your last Bitch-Back you said Steve Carell didn't have a Blind Vine. Yet, I swear I remember you saying last year that Steve did have a B.V., just not necessarily a recent one. My rescue pup, Jake, remembers this too. What gives? Thanks!

Dear OMG:
Did I say that? Crap, I made a mistake, you and Jake sure are supersharp. Sorry, the Vice is basically so stupid and so long ago, it doesn't really matter anymore. Should I just answer it, already?"