Friday, February 19, 2010

Blind Vice: Famous Wife Ignores Hubby's Many Boys!

New from Ted-


Blind Vice: Famous Wife Ignores Hubby's Many Boys!

The may not be swingers like Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off, but Henrietta Hard-Ball and her blandly good-looking husband, Elijah Schwad, have a convenient relationship when it comes to sex.
Like so many famous couples.
Henrietta's allowed to pursue (with ferocious abandon, mind you) her high-powered career, as long as Elijah takes care of the family and the home. It's an arrangement that's served both spouses well, for many reasons.
But ah, the only reason that causes us to really care about her is the one that makes Elijah happy. Can you guess what it is? A little bed-time dynamic that might make even Toothy Tile jump for joy?
Yep, you guessed it (otherwise you're reading the wrong column, really), Elijah lives to get it on with the dudes.
But like so many selfish men—is there any other kind?—Elijah also wanted a happy home and a family, so he brokered a deal with the attractive, driven Henrietta, who's about as interested in sex these days as Lindsay Lohan is in working.
So both kinda fake-married folks get what they want—a career for her, a harem of hotties for him.
What's even more interesting about this scenario is the fact that Henrietta and Elijah don't have your typical celeb following. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick they are not.
Let's just say that one of them works in a business that is mercilessly driven by what Middle America deigns right and wrong. If anybody in this corn-fed fanbase the kinky twosome so direly depends on ever got wind of the debauched details in the couple's sex arrangement, life would be over for them both—in seconds.
Hmmm. That's quite a gamble, wonder why either of them are even taking it?
Oh, that's right, Henrietta's never been known to see anything close to reason, completely forgot.


AND IT AIN'T: Gisele and Tom Brady, Mo'Nique and Sidney Hicks, Michelle and Barack Obama
Also eliminated as of 8/21/11 - Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick, Kelly Ripa/Mark Consuelos, Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, Nancy Grace, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Mary Matalin, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Michele Bachmann

Top guesses: Sarah Palin/Todd Palin

86 comments:

duffgrl said...

I know they have been guessed for other Blinds but- my first thought is Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. really sounds like them esp. w/ the comment about "middle america" as kelly is on a VERY popular daytime talk show.

michelle said...

beyonce and jay z maybe but i have to read it again. Is the man famous? cant figure out if they have kids

michelle said...

i was thinking them too but something in it made me change my mind and from the AIAs i think it might be a black couple

blurry vice said...

But Kelly Ripa has already been a blind vice. Otherwise I guess they fit.

Hmmm... I think the woman is in country music. Sounds like some sort of thing where her fanbase is country/people from the south/middle of nowhere.

Donna said...

Got to be Sarah and Todd Palin.

michelle said...

another couple i was thinking of when i was reading it was ellen pompei and i am not sure who her husband is but i was thinking of her

Megan said...

To me this sounds like Nancy Grace and whoever her husband is.

blurry vice said...

Ooooohh... Sarah and Todd Palin. Yes that seems to fit them perfectly. Thanks Donna for the great guess!

cassandra said...

my first thought was jennifer hudson and david otunga (guy from ilovenewyork). they have a kid together and she was in the sex and the city movie with SJP. but i cant really put together the "what america deigns right or wrong". maybe one of them hosts a tv game show? and maybe the monique AIA points to someone who won a BSA golden globe

Shellee said...

Totally the Palins.

Jessica said...

Love the Palin guess! Especially because Henrietta's last name is Hard-Ball (political show on MSNBC...

duffgrl said...

I like the Palin guess too!

Megley said...

Those wacky folks from Wasilla. Not surprising at all, I must say.

The Spie said...

How about Michelle and Jesse Malkin? She's a conservative pundit, ethnic (albeit Filipino), insulted Michelle Obama heavily (link to that AIA), and he's a stay-at-home dad.

I like the Palins as a guess, but if Bristol's pregnancy didn't derail her mom's career, I don't think anything would at this point. This kind of news, though, would totally destroy Malkin's credibility with her right-wing fanbase.

Olivia said...

I totally thought of Sarah Palin on this. Bristol's pregnancy actually humanized her with a lot of lower-class and lower-middle-class Americans, but tolerating homosexuality? NEVER.

Barda Free said...

Michelle Malkin & Jesse Malkin FTW.

jittacatgirl said...

if it's sarah palin, what are the connections to the AIAs? i would think that Mo'Nique and Michelle, as AIAs would point to a black female...? what does gisele have to do with anything?

Brittany said...

I can't decide if this is Palin or Malkin. They both seem to fit but Jesse Malkin seems much more like a stay-at-home dad than Todd Palin.

MonkeyFace said...

i think it is the hasselbecks.

cassandra said...

this BV points to palin, but i sincerely doubt that todd palin is gay/bisexual. the palins had every detail of their lives was looked into to find dirt during the 2008 campaign and since than. ive never heard anything similar to this about the palins and i highly doubt the first and only source to have this information is ted c. its got to be some other couple?

jittacatgirl said...

someone explain to me how the AIA's point to the Palins! help!

blurry vice said...

The AIA's do not necessarily have to point to the person... Ted has said that sometimes the AIA's can be a clue but most of the time they are random.

sistah2 said...

This is probably the Palins. Its a well known FACT they have no relationship, have had really no marriage to speak of for many years. See Levi Johnstons vanity fair interview for details. Todd P doesn't seem gay to me, though. But, this fits them, since it definitely has been established that they are in a loveless marriage. I agree with Olivia on this..
also, no one knows who the Malkins are, and no one gives a hoot about Nancy Grace and her hubby (although she fits this also) they are not well known enough for this BV, IMO.

sistah2 said...

Cassandra - actually the Palins were NOT vetted nearly enough during the campaign - that's why it was such a disaster. There is/was plenty of dirt on them...and more to come , apparently.

The Spie said...

Please remember that Sistah2 was the same person who said that J2 weren't well-known-enough to be Judas and Dashed. Just saying.

I would say that the author of five best-selling books who's trotted out by Faux News constantly to spout the right-wing line is quite well-known-enough to be a Ted blind, especially for this level of hypocrisy (and we all know how much Ted hates hypocrites). It's the Malkins.

sistah2 said...

ok spie, comparing the notoriety level of this BV and your darling "J2" is kind of silly. That said, J2 has more of a BV audience than the Malkins. I mean, I doubt Ted watches FOX & probably does not know who they are. I for one, am grateful I also have no clue who these clowns are.

The point is, its not the Malkins, unless Ted was hard up this week to create a blind, and someone floated this rumor his way. Its a bad day for Ted when he's writing Blind vices for the fox news crowd.

The Spie said...

No, sistah, I was pointing out that you have a habit of dismissing guesses because you don't know who they are, then claiming that "no one knows" who they are. It'd be like me saying that I've never seen a movie with Bradley Cooper in it (which happens to be true), so therefore he must not be important and can't be the answer to a blind.

By the way, I've also never seen an episode of Supernatural or Gilmore Girls, so I have no personal attachment to J2.

And this wouldn't be the first time that Ted was hard up for a BV. How many Toothy blinds are in the "hard-up" category? Or the last Judas Jack-Off blind? All I'm doing is putting out a possibility which fits the blind and fits the AIAs, and is more plausible than the Palins.

sistah2 said...

Ok Spie, I will respond:

I don't have a 'habit' of dismissing guesses because 'I dont know who they are' As a co-owner of this blog for 3 plus years, I can dismiss ridiculous guesses as I like, for any reason, but I know who all of them are, simply because of their relevance to pop culture. You are amazed I did not hear of the fab stars of Supernatural. I proudly admit I was not in the loop of their immense popularity in some circles. Get over it.

Comparing Bradley Cooper's fame to the "Macklins" or Jensen Ackles is absurd.

The guesses do not have to fit the AIA's - as blurry has pointed out. What makes you think these Macklins are more plausible than the Palins? You have not given any sensible evidence for this, IMO.

I have never seen a poster on this blog pick on another post from months ago, until now. Weird.

We mostly welcome any kind of snark here, within reason. Going after another poster though, especially one of the sisters, is a little too much. Getting on my nerves.

blurry vice said...

Spie, No one knows or cares who these Malkins are. Ted has never mentioned them in his column (which he says he does with his BV subjects). I highly doubt this BV is about them. In regards to Judas and Dashed - I know who they are but I agree somewhat that they are not "big" stars. If Ted didn't write about them so much we wouldn't think of them to be written about in a blind vice. Leave sistah2 alone. If you do not like what the contributors of this blog are saying, then you do not have to chat with us here. We stride for this to be a pleasant atmosphere without negativity or harassment.

michelle said...

I wish people would think of other possibilities something about it being the palins seems off to me. i mean dont they have a thousand kids obviously they are doing it quite a bit considering you dont get pregnant everytime and they just had a baby so why do they keep having children if she just wants a career and he just want to bang guys and if it was an accident must mean they are attracted to each other and do not just have sex to procreate.

jittacatgirl said...

Changing the subject... (*mreow*)

I think this line is interesting:

"Let's just say that one of them works in a business that is mercilessly driven by what Middle America deigns right and wrong."

That just doesn't sound like politics to me, especially considering all of the drug scandals, sex scandals, drunk driving scandals, gay love affairs, etc.

And like someone said above, they already weathered the unwed teenager storm. Who cares if he's gay? She'd come out looking like Hillary Clinton.

Candi said...

Here's a new one for the mix.... What about Marcia Cross and her hubby?

Megan said...

I think the AIAs suggest that we look outside the movie star box: Gisele's a model, Tom Brady's a football player, Mo'Nique is often a talk show host/reality star, and then Michelle and Barack Obama are in politics. Sarah Palin is a plausible guess, but if we think it's a politician I'm not sure we should dismiss the Democrats out of hand. The world finding out that you're married to a closeted gay man would be shocking to Middle America even if you weren't a Republican. That said, I have no real guess to offer. I just don't think there are enough clues here to pin this BV on anyone specifically.

sistah2 said...

I agree, this may not be the Palins only because I dont personally think the hubby is gay. Its possible..but going with what jitacatgirl pointed out about the Middle America comment - sounds like a televangelist-type, or a right wing politician. Or Kathie Lee Gifford-type? (right wing talk show person) Thats why Nancy Grace was a good guess - but not enough clues about the hubby.

sistah2 said...

What about Greta Van Susteren? Her hubby is well-known in Washington circles - they are big Scientologists. Maybe I am reaching here.

sistah2 said...

Now that I have read it again: this stands out "she's never been known to see anything close to reason..she forgot."
So, she is someone who does not have alot of common sense - this line alone says Sarah Palin - any other well known right wing female fit this description? Ann Coulter? anyone?

cassandra said...

some thoughts I had...they fit the AIA's just not the line about thier career depending on what america deigns right and wrong:

kathie lee and frank gifford
rachael ray and john cusimano
elisabeth and tim hasselbeck
meredith viera and richard m cohen

jittacatgirl said...

I was just about to say Elisabeth Hasselbeck. She's got the most to lose from a gay love affair.

Kathie Lee has gone through Frank's regular affairs before, so I'm doubting it's them

Does Rachael Ray have kids? Doesn't say on wikipedia.

Ann Coulter, FYI, is not married. She's been engaged, but not married.

Megan said...

Elizabeth Hasselbeck seems like a good guess. Though Sarah Palin definitely seems more career driven.

Rachael Ray does not have kids. Does Meredith Viera? I think this is defintely a couple with kids.

mo-mo said...

I say it's the Palins. I could see Todd being gay. And there's plenty of dudes to choose from in Alaska!!

I also liked the Hasselbeck guess - but it wouldn't really fit bc Tim Hasselbeck doesn't "take care of the family and the home."

p.s. I have never heard of the Malkins either! And there's a huge difference between completely not knowing of someone, and knowing of someone but just haven't seen a movie they are in.

duffgrl said...

I've never heard of the Malkins either and I KNOW I've never read Ted's column where he gossips about them either.
I still like the Palin guess but...in my first post I guessed Kelly Ripa. I know she is not right-wing but being that she is on a daytime talk show and constantly talks about her husband and kids. Middle America loves her. Could be her.

jittacatgirl said...

Michelle Malkin was in that conservative women calendar with Carrie Prejean.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay. (Blech.)

blurry vice said...

I also like the Hasselbeck guess. I was thinking of them too. Yes Tim could sort of be taking care of the kids/home right now. He used to be in the NFL but not anymore... right now according to my husband, Tim Hasselbeck is an "analyst" which means he talks about the games in the studio before and after. That to me leaves plenty of free time for extra curricular activities. ???

sistah2 said...

my only problem with some of these guesses (ripa, r. ray etc) is what Ted says at the end - paraphrase - she's never been known to use reasoning - this is someone who he implies is a little wifty - not very bright. Who else but Palin!

jittacatgirl said...

One of the things that makes me think it's NOT Palin is this line:

"But ah, the only reason that causes us to really care about her is the one that makes Elijah happy."

Ted expends a lot of energy and blolumn space on Sarah, and that just doesn't sound right. And if it was Palin, he would have made this sound like an earth-shattering, gloating revelation. It just doesn't sound like how he would reveal a Sarah Palin BV.

jittacatgirl said...

Dude, what about Michele and Marcus Bachmann? Brassy Republican Congresswoman from Minnesota. She had a notorious appearance on Hardball with Chris Matthews a few years ago.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardball_with_Chris_Matthews#Michele_Bachmann

She is notoriously anti-gay, thinks the gay community specifically "targets" children, and claims that LGBT people suffer from "sexual dysfunction" according to her wikipedia page.

She was making waves at the CPAC Convention last week... http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/02/michele-bachmann-brings-miss-m.html?wprss=44

michelle said...

i have been picking apart this bv all day . I looked up what corn fed means said mostly woman who are healthy in size but lacking brains could also apply to men. and to mention he says that corn fed america is their fan base makes me think the man is somewhat famous or atleast the couple is a brand . so what couple has a fan base of overweight stupid people

The Spie said...

Duff: Ted said that Ripa was a BV last August. Kelly and Mark would have been a great guess for this if it wasn't for that.

Michelle: the normal meaning of "corn-fed" is "born and bred in the Midwest, usually rural or semi-rural". The usual political stereotype of "corn-fed" is "the heaviest of heavy-duty red-state conservatives", the fan base for people like Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter. I've never heard of the definition you cited, and I'm from the Midwest and lived all over the area.

Sisters: I apologize to Sistah and to the readers for my assertion. In my defense, though, it must be stated that the Malkins have proven to be a popular guess for this at other boards (I did come up with that guess before reading those boards), so there seem to be people who do know who they are. I'm sticking with that guess. It wouldn't be the first time that Ted's done a BV about someone he's never gossiped about in the column before, and there's certainly motivation on his part to dish dirt on a right-wing politico-media figure.

Megan said...

I know the vice doesn't specifically say one way or the other, but I get the sense that Elijah was a public figure already when he met Henrietta. I don't know much about the Palin's courtship, but to my limited knowledge, she put him on the map. I think that's what makes the Hasselbecks feel like a more viable guess, to me.

sistah2 said...

apology accepted. But, no need to apologize for a guess. We can disagree on it & no big deal. As I said, if it is the Malkins, Ted is getting hard up for BV material.

As far as E. Hasselbitch: she is a popular guess for the other BV too it seems. I dont think its her, but to be honest I'd love to see it.

Shellee said...

Never heard of the Malkins before either.

michelle said...

its in the dictionary as being healthy in size other things say that and also say lacking brains. george from of mice and men would probably be described as corn fed not sure if he is from the midwest though

jittacatgirl said...

The term corn-fed comes from livestock. Corn-fed versus natural, grass-fed livestock is fatter. If you know anything about the US agricultural system, you'll know how much land is taken up by corn and how little land cattle/chickens/pork occupy, and consequently, why we're all so fat now. (Animals eat corn, not grass, get fat; we eat corn-fed animals AND corn syrup)

We're all corn-fed. I think it's more likely that corn-fed is simply implying Middle America.

What dictionary did you use that says "brainless?" Urbandictionary.com?

kellygirl said...

I'd say it had to be a politician from IOWA, but since the state has zero female elected officials ... I'll go with the Palins.

speaking of Palins, it really looks like the lids about to blow off of BABYgate.

jittacatgirl said...

I still propose Michele Bachmann of MN.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
A lot of your posters seem to think that Henrietta Hard-Ball could be Kelly Ripa. I find that laughable! Tell me, does sitting next to Reege for an hour every morning really qualify as a "high-powered career"?
—Christina

Dear Ripping on Ripa:
Kathy Lee Gifford apparently didn't think it was so high-powered, but don't be fooled, Kelly is a staple in the same heartland homes as is Henrietta—though not the same broad."

sistah2 said...

I was thinking that Rachel Ray fits this to a T - except that last line. that is the clincher! someone who is 'unreasonable' - Rachel Ray seems pretty level headed. So we're back to Palin (or someone her type)

cassandra said...

i thought rachael ray too, but she has no kids. BUT could it be Jewel and Ty Murray?? Shes a successful singer from Alaska and he is a professional bull rider and they've both been on like a million reality shows and she is currently a judge on nashville star which might explain the right and wrong reference? They most definetely appeal to middle america more than any other couple I can think of. But I didnt see anything political about either one of them though

cassandra said...

oh and I dont know if they have kids!!! it didnt specify on wikipedia, so im not sure!!

duffgrl said...

Sistah2: I was just thinking of Rachel Ray as well! but you are right, the "close to reason" statement is tricky. RR is known to be difficult behind the scenes but, hmmmm-that statement just sounds so like palin.

mo-mo said...

From Ted today... eliminating both Michelle Malkin and Michele Bachmann:

"Dear Ted:
Henrietta Hard-Ball has got to be one of the crazy Michelles. I'm fairly certain it's Michelle Malkin, but my second choice is Michele Bachmann. Am I close on either of these guesses?
—Angela

Dear Conservative Craze:
You're definitely on par with the right level of craziness, but neither of the gals you guessed is Ms. Hard-Ball."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Henrietta Hard-Ball Hillary Clinton, or does Mrs. Hard-Ball's power pale in comparison?
—Bell

Dear Close but Not Enough:
It's actually more impressive. Henrietta could learn from Hillary's cojones-handling ways, I assure you."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Loved your "swag" article about Sarah Palin, and the Palin/Clooney pictures were priceless. I guess a pig wearing free lipstick is still a pig.
—Karen

Dear Thank You But:
Wash your nasty mouth out, Karen! Freebie-addicted Palin is not a pig. She's a crafty wolf in pig's clothing."

hello said...

Also, a slightly less serious question are Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off possibly Natalie Maines and Adrian Pasdar?
—Fan in the UK

Dear Across the Pond:
The celebs who are overseas love their privacy, but that doesn't mean they aren't acting out. Because the London scene is a bit more low key, the stars are free to get away with more than they could here...as for your BV guess, sorry hon-pie not even close. Bigger leagues, by far



"Bigger leagues, by far" is Ted hinting that Chester Shorts Off plays baseball? The "big leagues"?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Mark Ruffalo ever been a Blind Vice? And though I guessed last week on Henrietta Hard-Ball, it is not Nancy Pelosi, correct? Gretchen Carlson? Thanks for your column!
—Capgo

Dear Guesser:
Correct. Henrietta's not that slick. Far from it."

blurry vice said...

hello - this post is for henrietta hard ball. Please discuss secretia ohio and chester shorts off in that post. thanks!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm a conservative, but I even find Sarah Palin annoying. She seems to lack any capability to keep her mouth shut. Can't you do to her what we did to the "Couple-who-must-not-be-named"? Maybe other news networks will follow suit and she'll just slowly fade back into oblivion.
—Britt

Dear Censored:
Interesting thought, but, isn't it much more fun to laugh at all the stupid things Sarah does?"

Susan said...

Oh I am so new to this, just as of today, but here you go:

The line "But ah, the only reason that causes us to really care about her is the one that makes Elijah happy."

This fits for Palin, because the only reason we care about her is because she was foisted on the nation which got her (still) out of Alaska. Now you tell me, wouldn't that make Todd the happiest camper?

Makes sense to me. I'm just sayin...

House of Brat said...

An Alaskan blogger noted that he's never heard any gay rumors about the Palins today:

Yes, I agree that the description of this couple sounds suspiciously like Todd and Sarah Palin.

However unless Casablanca has uncovered something that has escaped the notice of every journalist and blogger up here, the description of this man having sex with other guys precludes him from being Todd Palin.

Believe me I have heard almost every single kind of rumor that you can hear about the Palins, and I have never even heard a whisper of one like this. I could go down a list of all of the actual rumors I have heard, but I have no idea which ones have any validity, or which ones have been shared in confidence and nobody else is supposed to know. (I get a lot of those!)

But for the record, as far as I know Todd likes the ladies. Believe me if I knew otherwise I would probably have hinted at it by now. Or I would just confirm that Casablanca is on to something. But I have no information that leads me to that conclusion.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm so curious about the true identity of Henrietta Hard-Ball and was hoping because I'm having a bad day (my husband's company went under), you would give me a clue. Are they newly married or a more established couple?
—Blue

Dear Best of Luck:
Henrietta and her hubby have had their superskanky arrangement for a while now. Sorry about the hubby's biz—give him an extra-special hug from me tonight, 'K?"

Susan said...

The Alaska blogger's post doesn't really rule out the Palins. He says he hasn't heard the rumors but that it could still be true. It's the comments there that are very interesting. his blog has had some interesting nuggets at times.

An excellent source for all info on Palin, which is organized by subjest "gates" is palingates@blogspot.com.

Patrick said...

From everything which is said here I also come to the conclusion that this piece clearly refers to Todd and Sarah Palin. Can this "rumor" be true? I wouldn't rule it out at all! Sarah Palin's private life is FULL of secrets.

For the many other scandals surrounding Sarah Palin, please visit our blog "Palingates":

http://palingates.blogspot.com

Details about Sarah Palin's faked pregnancy with Trig (YES, the pregnancy was faked!!) can be found here:

http://palingates.blogspot.com/search/label/babygate

Educate yourself about Track's parentage here:

http://palingates.blogspot.com/search/label/curtis%20menard

Susan said...

So here is a repost from the EOnline thread. A bit long but perhaps food for thought? Part I follows:

Good Evening to all,

This post is an introductory one, as I have not only not posted to these boards before, but am also completely new to the Blind Vice! I love riddles and have an almost obessesive investigative type nature, so perhaps I've found a new home! From what I've read so far everyone on here seems quite cool and witty as well, so I hope I can add something useful

My huge handicap is that I don't know too many celebrities and their goings on, but I do know some politics, which is why the Henrietta post, after some reading, appealed to me in particular.

Please let me know that Ted sometimes reveals the answers to these BV's or I am destined to go nuts! I gotta know before I get in too deep so please indulge me in that request.

So, as my obssessive nature dictates, I scurried around the web, picking up as many clues as I could about Henrietta and her blandly hunky hubby. I think I got some stuff that hasn't been posted. Forgive my maiden effort if I duplicate some dirt. The ones I have are deigned for the Palin guess, if you can use them, otherwise, please take your liberties:

Blandly good looking husband: good looking, but bland personality.

Elijah: popular with right-wing evangelists, the Elijah's List, and end-times prophesy site (which Palin's religion is well known to subscribe to) is known to have listed S. Palin as being "called" to fulfill their end times and other prophesies. S. Palin herself has, on many occasions, referenced her involvement in politics as being from God, guided by God, et.al. Schwad obviously rhymes with Todd.

Levi Johnston (dtr's baby Daddy) made the rounds in Hollywood just before the time this BV came out, and is known to have confided in Kathy Griffen re: the "dirt" he had on Palin that would take her down. Whatever the particular dirt (and there is said to be quite a lot), it was let loose to certain individuals who, I assume, agreed to keep it on the DL until Levi himself released it, in a book or otherwise.

On 7/14/09 - Ted made a comment about T. Palin: : "I propose that Palin leave that girlie-girl husband of hers."

Susan said...

Part II:

Ferocious abandon - Palin has made reference in several print and video interviews to being the "Grizzly Mama rising up in me" in reference to attacks on her family.

Not your typical celeb following: meaning, not the type that follow movie/tv entertainment types. That leaves news/politics.

One of Palins stops on her book tour was Henrietta, NY. She is not quite a "former" politician" because folks aren't ruling out a run and neither is she. She is now an "News Analyst/Contributor" (on Fox), just like Grace, Matalin and Hasselbeck. Two of those three are conservative women (don't know about Grace).

Gets it on with Dudes - Todd was considered "First Dude" in Alaska. I've read Ted doesn't normally use the term "dudes."

They brokered a deal - it seems fairly certain Palin was already 6+ weeks preggers when she married Todd. It's thought Track's Dad is Curtis Menard, Jr. He was Sarah's high school crush and ended up being Track's godfather and their next door neighbor. He is also known to have visited Palin in her Mayor's office in 2001, shortly before his death, to discuss her parenting skills that he was concerned about.

In a widely circulated interview, Palin said she gave advice to Bristol, re: marriage, that it is "like a business arrangement or contract."
Don't have the link right now but I can find it.

Corn-fed = The Iowa primaries = a must for any serious contender!

Life would be over in seconds = she was second on the ticket in 2008 and obviously, they came in second in the election.

What middle america deems right and wrong - this is the "heartland" which Sarah has referred to as "real americans" and/or the conservative base.

Both Pelosi and Clinton have seasoned "chops" or "cojones" compared to her, but Palin's "draw" is more impressive.

That's quite a gamble - John McCain took a gamble when he chose Palin (in many print reports, from how own mouth, and in Game Change).

Even before Todd quit his job on the slope, Palin was pegging him in interviews as the one who had the main responsibility for the home. She bragged about it!

Tom Brady plays for the Patriots - she's been mentioned a gazillion times as the Tea Party Patriot "de facto" leader and was the keynote speaker at their first convention in Nashville.

Palin was introduced to the nation in Ohio (Secretia Ohio)

Apparently, SJP and Broderick have an arranged marriage (?) and Mo'Nique and Hicks have an open one?

Hint from Ted: Freebie addicted Palin is not a pig! She's a crafy WOLF in pig's clothing." Palin heavily involved in Alaska wolf culling program (from aircraft and den killings no less). She attacked Defenders of Wildlife and Ashley Judd for their ads against her administration and this practice.

The right level of craziness as Malkin/Bachmann - nuff said.

A clue from Ted I'm not sure I "get" is: Kelly (Ripa)is a staple in the same heartland homes as is Henrietta - though not the same "Broad." What does he mean by "broad?"

And Ted doesn't appear to reference two things that would seem to have been either the goal or vehicle to the goal of both of them: the AIP connection and their religious connection, both of which advocate infiltrating mainstream politics in order to change it from the inside. Of course, that might have made the BV all too obvious and not a challenge.

Okay, I need a nap now. Apologise for such a long first post. Just wanted to get it all out there. Until I think of something else...hehe. Please, please tell me that Ted eventually does a REVEAL!!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Palin In the Ass:
I'd be happy to debate on Palin's flawed political standpoints, but this is a gossip blog. So as long as Palin is screwing around in H'wood (which seems like it will be a while, what with her love of swag suites—as confirmed by the vendors themselves—and desire to have a TV show), I'll continue to give her the Hollywood treatment.

And let's be very clear: the swag stories were not debunked. Some of the suite hosts debated the number of items taken by Palin, but, the vendors themselves confirmed the actual numbers of the items on camera. So, watch it with your legal accusations, sweetums."

--- TED DOES NOT DENY IT.

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b172391_blab_blab_blab_savvy
_sarah_palin_has.html

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Was reading the paper, mulling over Senator Roy Ashburn who has publicly opposed gay rights and followed up that spectacle by being picked up on a DWI leaving a gay night club. Thinking of hypocrites got me to wondering, has Sarah Palin ever been a Blind Vice star or guest-star?
—Stephen

Day Politically Incorrect:
If we've learned one thing from all these skanky politicians who put themselves on pedestals it's that the people who advocate against something the most usually have the dirtiest skeletons in their closet—Palin being no exception."

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b173481_bitch-back_disney_diva_ditches_bff_why.html#ixzz0jIFboNiH

Lerual said...

Gisele's nickname growing up was "Saracura" and she won several beauty contests like Sarah Palin.

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Do you have any more info on Henrietta Hardball? It's got to be Elisabeth Hasselbeck, no?
—Nan

Dear Hopeless Henriette:
The new info is that she's finally friggin' disappeared. At least, she's way less out there than she was before, which is good for just about everyone. Sad to say, seems she'll never quite disappear though."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was watching Dancing With the Stars Tuesday night and noticed some major chemistry between Mark Ballas and Bristol Palin. Do you think there could be something going on with them other than dancing?
—SallyCat

Dear Dancing Duo:
If Mark can come face-to-face with Sarah Palin herself and still have any interest in getting involved with that fam, then he's the bravest man I know. Or the craziest. Probably the latter, actually."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Was wondering about the particularly-pulpy tale of Henrietta Hard-Ball. If you had dirt on a politician whose bedroom ways belie their voting record (an even undermines equal rights for all) would you unveil the hypocrisy?
—Saucy Dish

Dear Temptress:
Oh hon, you know I would love to, especially with Henrietta in particular, but can't break my cardinal rule even for the slimiest of folks. If I out her, that would out her hubby...tho, he's really doing that himself nowadays."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Do you see an imminent split for Henrietta H.B. and her hub? Would it shock outsiders due to their evangelical beliefs?
—newly right-wing Wisconsin, Nan

Dear Dark Sider:
I don't think it would shock too many people...Just take a look at her hubby! Boyfriend oozes gay, gay, gay. Plus, their family is more like the Robinsons, not the Cleavers. Don't think another bombshell would shock America."

Elizabeth said...

New article in People this week about Todd "cringing" when a photo shoot person dropped some equipment on his recently mopped floor. Not sure if that shouts "gay" or not.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Have you heard anything lately about Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon? Also, where is Henrietta Hardball? Thanks for your column!
—CapGoat

Dear Six Degrees:
No dirt on Kyra and Kev lately—why, is something naughty brewing? As for H'ball, she's been up to nothing particularly exciting lately—Vice-wise and just in

general—and I'm sure you're just as pleased to hear that as I am to say it."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do you have anything new on Henrietta Hardball? Has her husband been practically outed lately?
—Cap

Dear Blue Balled:
Nope, Elijah Schwad is as trapped in his loveless marriage as ever, and Henrietta covers up any of his same-sex indiscretions while getting her smug mug

plastered on whatever paper she can. I'm actually surprised their charade has lasted this long. Guess Henrietta is craftier than I ever thought.

Dear Ted:
I don't know how far out this is, but I wondered if Henrietta Hard-Ball and her hubby, Elijah, were currently campaigning for anything...chiefly? I would so

love to find some dirt on a certain couple that tries to pray the gay away.
—Vanessa

Dear President-in-Vice:
Sorry, babe, but your allusions to Michele Bachmann are about as subtle as her crazy eyes. While I'd love to peg this par-tick Blind Vice on the bananas

babe, she's too busy chowing down on corndogs to pay attention to her hubby. Henrietta is far craftier."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I realize she might not be the hottest Blind Vice subject, but what has Henrietta Hardball been up to lately? Is she a political TV personality or a

politician who's been on TV? How's the marriage?
—CapGoat

Dear Hard Ballin':
Henrietta's hardly pleased as of late—the media scrutiny surrounding her all-powerful self has only gotten worse. I will say she has strong political views,

but the political world so isn't for her. As for the marriage? It's going swell—just like every other painfully fake union in this biz."

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