One Total Femme-Faker Blind Vice

From Friday May 29 -

One Total Femme-Faker Blind Vice

No kinky homo lovin' in this week's Blind, either, folks, just some straight-up hetero debauchery! Does that make you happy or sad? Relieved, regardless, I'm sure. Anyways, guess all the gays were too busy protesting this week (or hiding indoors lest they come across as too sympathetic to the cause—we know we didn't see Toothy out and about holding a sign in WeHo!). So, that leaves us with Dominique (Dommy) Do-Rightly, rising star.
See, Dom's a ton more popular on the small screen than on the big one—tho for some silly reason she keeps desperately trying to make the film thing work. But Dommy's still managed to rack up a ridiculous amount of fans, all who think she's just so über-cute and cuddly, like a posh stuffed teddy bear.
But would they still fawn over her so much if they knew their darling 'n' wholesome girl's one freaky wild party animal? We know we'd like her a whole lot more if she just fessed up to it!
Ms. Do-Rightly likes the public to think she's all about goin' organic, living healthy, saving the world and being an all-around sweetie-pie. Make me puke right now. Ugh.
I never bought that faux persona on this stink-eyed star, but I'm used to celebs totally lying about who they are! Those who know Dommy personally can't stand how stuck-up the bitchy babe is. She often refuses to promote her latest flicks as much as she's told, leaving all the legwork to her second billed, bitter costars.
No one can friggin' put up with the diva's demands anymore—that is, of course, except other divas! DDR is spending more and more time with skanky H'wood regulars—privately, at house parties, since public outings together would be oh so disastrous to Dom's clean-cut image.
At one such recent drug-infested fete, DDR boozed-and-bashed till all hours of the morning, blasting party energy up her nose and wrapping her legs, tongues, what have ya around dudes left and right, using the hostess's totally expensive living room couch to show off her moves (not like that sofa hasn't been tarnished enough with party germs already). And this was milliseconds after splitting with her last famous man! Guess that explains who did the dumping in that doomed relaysh.
Hey, got an idea! Maybe Dommy oughta bring her slutty ways out of hiding—look how much press Paris gets! And she gets whole damn perfume lines, too! What does Dommy have? A few politically correct endorsements here and there—and we sure know that ain't enough headline attention for a naughty nose-candy princess like DDR!
And it ain't: Amber Tamblyn, Blake Lively, Miley Cyrus

Update 7/8/09 - Ted has eliminated: Katherine Heigl, Sophia Bush, Chelsea Handler, Amber Tamblyn, Blake Lively, Miley Cyrus, Ana Paquin, Lauren Conrad, AnnaLynne McCord, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Aniston, Amanda Bynes.

* Top guess: Hayden Panetierre.

Here is a link to the second (more recent) Dommy Blind Vice.