Friday, January 27, 2012

Blind Vice! Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

Meet Soheila Stuff-It. She probably won't remember meeting you, but what difference does it really make?

‘Cause that's the way Soheila likes it—drugged up halfway to Brigadoon to escape the burdens of being the downtrodden diva that she is. And when she's not partaking in a dabble of this or a hit of that, you'll likely find her drowning at the bottom of a bottle.
It's all terribly, terribly sad. Which is why Ms. Stuff-It's peeps are desperate to get the star into treatment stat. To which the always stubborn Soheila says:
Hell, no!
See, Soheila hasn't exactly had an easy go of it lately (despite the fact that she has the most gorgeous hair!).
But instead of trying to get better or, ya know, even just talking about her issues, S2 prefers to handle things her own way. And a trip to rehab is so not on her To Do list anytime soon. Or ever, if Soheila has anything to say about it.
Which, actually, she does.
See, Ms. Stuff-It isn't a pushover. In fact, she's made a name for herself in this town by being a tough chick who doesn't back down.
Which is why we're so sad to see her destroying herself…again.
That's the other terribly, horribly sad thing about all this. This isn't the first time Soheila has spiraled. It's all happened before and even though she slapped a smile back on her face and chitchatted about how fab she was feeling, underneath Soheila was the same damaged, messed up broad she was before.
To which we say: Hey, Soheila, relapse happens. Heck, it's practically expected. But it's time you give up your pride—and partying—and straighten yourself out.
We have far more faith in you than, say, Morgan Mayhem or Mimi Kitten. And we just hate seeing you be so blasé about your life, babe.
Oh, and if you stop hooking up with bisexual men, Soheila, that too just might lead you on the way to recovery, just a suggestion!
AND IT AIN'T: Angelina Jolie, Kim Richards, Mischa Barton
Update 2/18/12: Ted has also eliminated Sinead O'Connor, Whitney Houston

Top suspect:  Heather Locklear

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Blind Vice: Chuck Finger Dingle Returns...

New BV from Ted Friday Jan 20 -

Blind Vice: Sexual Carnivore Charlotte Switches Teams for a Great Movie Role!

We've already all fallen in love with Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle and her sexually impressive resume of bedding Hollywood's power gals. This particular beauty seems to thrive and simply glow inside the more women she beds, but guess what?
Chuck's also got a hot career going, which actually means more to her than her ambitious (and athletic) love life, so Charlotte just added something very different to her woman-eating Hollywood climb:
A man.
Yep, that's right! And, of course, not just any man, but a very, very powerful and über-talented man!
One who just happens to be directing Charly in her latest project. But that's not all.
Wanna know what's really weird about this one? No, not that Chuck has so seamlessly switched from women to men just for the sake of a great role (trust us, lots of celebs have made that switch in this town for far less than a spectacular role), but the fact that Chuck's new man has a woman who's totally OK with this arrangement!
Uh, are we watching a real-life episode of Sex and the City, only with Chucky's lover's other half doing the same thing Samantha would?
Either that or the director's woman knows full well that Charly's first preference is for the ladies, and she'll be bored diddling the director dude soon enough.
Only problem is, the way Charly's hanging all over her lover in public (not to mention in private), that sexual fade-out doesn't appear to be occurring anytime soon.
AND IT AIN'T: Jennifer Lawrence, Naya Rivera, Dakota Fanning

Please use the label below to go to our post on the previous CFD BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Rooney Mara

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

New from Ted yesterday, January 13 -

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

Isn't it funny when somebody like Strawberry Snort 'Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check. Cool digs? Beyond-average talent? Check. Back-stabbing besties? Check! But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!
But, this Vice isn't about Strawberry, it's about a dude who never, ever wants to be in Strawberry's lovelorn position: Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
And even though Topher's determined to not get caught in love again (he's had a couple of bad breakups), he's not at all averse to getting caught in lust:
As we first told you,Topher's into the anonymous sex thing. And whereas we used to think it was just because Mr. Hairy-Tuchus, like many men in Hollywood, is just a plain ol' closeted actor, well, that's not the only reason he likes to get it on with other guys on the down low.
"He's just done with love, that's all. It's not so much his career, which is what everyone thinks," says a pal who knows Topher both personally, and professionally.
Whoa. So Topher's not so designing in the love department as much as we first thought? Amazing!
Because Topher sure has been giving us all a run for his red-carpet money lately with various sexy ladies by his side—and then some.
"No, no, no," added our Topher source. "He's just horny. And permanently non-committed. It's really that simple. The chicks are a cover for his [sex], not so much his career, get it?"
Do we ever. And here we thought Hairy-Tuchus was some kind of grand, scheming Toothy Tile, who knew!
Just remember, Toph, play safe!
And It Ain't: Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling

Please refer to the link below for our posts on the previous Topher Hairy Tuchus BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

(also see the post on the Strawberry SnortEm BV)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Happy new year!  We are getting caught up on the first week of the new year.  So much gossip already -  Divorces, engagements, and pregnancies!  We'll be covering all of it... let's start with Justin Timberlake shall we?  Here's Ted's latest Blind Vice, from today in Awful Truth.

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he's known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry's life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he's been a bit down, as of late.
Pray tell, why?
Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud's best pals know that Jerry's true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.

Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!
Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.
And the mama's boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he's on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.
And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.
Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.
And It Ain't: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous JRB and CJ BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: still Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

(older ex-girlfriend: NOT Britney Spears. Top suspect = Cameron Diaz)