Friday, April 20, 2012

Blind Vice! Match Made in Hot Star Heaven

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Match Made in Hot Star Heaven

Where art thou, heartthrob Nelly Fang?
Hooking up with the most stunning partner in his fairly impressive past, that's what!
The fact that Nelly's currently smitten with golden celeb Queen Djibouti is such great news because…
As we all know, Nelly hasn't always made the wisest (or safest) romance choices in the past.
And besides, Nelly has such an impressive everything—face, career, personality, etc.—isn't it about time he settle down with somebody who's as beautifully put together, not to mentioned gifted, as he is? Totally!
Queen, who's not quite as romantically experimental as Nelly, is still probably a pretty perfect fit for her new man, as she's all about the work (just like Fang) and is totally easygoing in her private life. Which is probably why she used to date a guy just like Nelly, who also likes to do his own thing.
In other words, Fang and Queen's exes are probably each other's types! Or certainly were at one time.
But that's then. Now is all about Nelly and Queen slowly cementing their hotness for each other, which appears to be the real thing.
Kind of a shocker for Mr. Fang, who's not unused to the fake-partner P.R. thing.
We actually dig this new Nelly.
True love's always hot, right?
It Ain't: Tim Tebow and Taylor Swift, Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively

Please use the label below to read our posts on the previous Nelly Fang BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects:  

Nelly Fang = Alexander Skarsgard
Queen Dijibouti - Charlize Theron


blurry vice said...

obvs charlize

blurry vice said...


"Dear Ted:
I wanna know what you think about Alexander Skarsgård and Scarlett Johansson as a couple. Would they be good together?

Dear Swedish Romance:
Surely they'd look good together…but better than A.Skars and Charlize Theron? I think not! I'm sticking to the coupling we already have."

Cee said...

was this not the most OBVIOUS BV EVER lol...if there was any doubt before about A. Skars being Nelly Fang, there shouldnt be now!

luckylass said...

So I guess Ted is alluding to Stuart Townsend as bi. Haven't seen him in anything for awhile.

BalmCakes Bakery said...

I love how obvious this blind is! A Skars definetly Nelly and Charlize for Queen. So many clues in the blind point to both, nice not to rack my brain trying to decipher :)

blurry vice said...

luckylass - yes that is the only thing semi-surprising about this bv, the stuart townsend info!

blurry vice said...


"Dear Ted:
Congrats on being the first with the Alexander Skarsgård and Charlize Theron news (I guess the NYPost confirmed it). I'm so glad he is dating an accomplished and charity-oriented woman for a change. Anyway, I need help: How do you convince a landlord to let you rescue a pup? Thanks for the fun!

Dear Blond & Blonder:
Love them as a couple. Hopefully they'll be stepping out more soon, but if I know Skars, when his private life starts going public he gets even sneakier. As for your puppy problem, that's a tough one. Ask very nicely (and with cookies too, maybe). If all else fails, show 'em some green…for a pet deposit, of course."

Empress said...

This one was too easy. I think I may be the only person who doesn't like the obvious blinds.

KaDixonLaw said...

@Mrs. Chris Evans - You're not alone. I like a little mystery as well. ; )

Katie said...

Huh. Stuart is the obvious ex, but what about Keanu?

Rita said...

Was wondering what Ted does when there are no blinds to gossip about; Got my answer!

Take an old favorite, see what he's doing and give a moniker to whomever he's doing it with!

Viking Girl said...

LOL Rita, you are spot on!

It is me, or has the whole Blind Item 'industry' slowed way down recently? It seems to have coincided with the whole CDAN kerfuffle.

Savannah said...

So obvious. Yawn. But also interesting because Ted is actually revealing a lot in a subtle way. If Stuart is bi or gay and Ted claims that "In other words, Fang and Queen's exes are probably each other's types! Or certainly were at one time" then that means Kate Bosworth would be another bi guy's type. So what does that say about HER? Is she also bi?

I am once again thrown off by how Ted's depiction of yet another BV star has changed. Nelly went from being a gay guy trolling for sex in a park to a bi guy in a fake PR relationship with a woman to now being happy dating a woman? So many of Ted's BV stars start out being described as totally gay and then turn into bi. Same thing happened with Nevis, Jackie Bouffant, Chuck Finger Dingle, JJO, etc.

Unknown said...

I think Viking Girl and Savannah make good points. I agree that the blind items have been especially lame since the CDAN incident. Two blinds about some bitchy TV show star? Really, Ted? I wonder if these sites have limited sources for this behind the scene gossip, and this source got spooked by the publicity that Himmmm got. But things certainly have been slow lately.

There could be a bunch of reasons why Ted keeps changing his story about these vicers' sexualities. Partly, I think that the shifting sexualities of some of these blind vice stars is because celebs are frequently both hot and have a shit ton of money, which is pretty much a recipe for people engaging in sex with all kinds of other lovely people, never mind the person's sex/gender. Ted gets some whiff of some same-sex action, posts it as a blind, and then forgets to hedge his bets that these people may eventually start sleeping with other, opposite-sex pretty people. Or, he knows that these folks are bi, and saves the hetero gossip for later to milk the story about the celeb for all it's worth. Or the celeb's PR folks get a hold of Ted and asks him to spill some mildly salacious hetero gossip about these folks to throw people off the gay trail. Whatever happens, it just seems kind of sloppy.

Rita said...

@Viking Girl, what CDAN fuck-up? I thought there was only the story about HIMMMM posting "reveals" about Douglas Senior and Hayden Pannettiere... But I did not follow-up on the rest...

As for Ted's blinds, sometimes, we just don't feel comfortable with the "couch-casting" factor. A lot of younger men, with higher libido and less defined sexuality, do not feel any shame at same-sex relationships as payment for a chance at stardom.

And the same way some men stay in the closet until their mid-forties, I've known some gay men that went through the opposite: They were out at a very young age, and discovered that they like vaginas later on. For some, they simply felt more comfortable with having sex with their male buddies earlier in life, until they fell for a woman.

Yes ladies, it does happen. Don't tell COS though, they would think homosexuality can really be cured.

pikespeak said...

Stuart Townsend being bi isn't all that shocking to me. In fact, it makes perfect sense (don't ask).

I don't know what Kate Bosworth's deal is, but it seems to like her men bi-ish. Orlando, I'm looking at YOU. Same with Evan Rachael Wood, who ironically Alex dated for a spell.

Pseudonym789 said...

I like these theories & think you are probably spot on.

FrenchGirl said...

why did Ted give a pseudo for Theron?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's with the rumors of Charlize Theron wanting to have Keanu Reeves as her baby's daddy? Allegedly Keanu has been visiting Charlize and her new baby,

bringing toys, babysitting, building a crib and changing diapers. Now, I think somebody has been letting their imagination run wild, since as far as I know

Keanu has been in China since December, filming his new movie, so he would have had no time to do all this. I thought she was dating Alexander Skarsgård at

the moment?

Dear Snow White and the Many Men:
The Charlize-Keanu rumors aren't completely out of nowhere—the two have been linked in the past. But this go-round I would chalk it up to just that—rumors.

Especially since things seem to be going well with Charlize and Alex so far. They're very suited for each other, you know.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Question about Queen Djibouti. You've said she's a girl who likes boys who like boys and girls. So I'm wondering now, is she also a girl who likes boys...and
girls, herself? Or was she ever? My rescue cat, Tom, says hi.
—Love, Mike

Dear Regally Bland:
Well, since Tommy asked so nicely: No, Queen is strictly hetero…she just seems to have a preference for dudes who are much more fluid with their sexuality. That said, the Queen is very open-minded, so I would not count anything out. Kisses to your kitty!"

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
What exactly is the deal with my fave vamp Alexander Skarsgård and my favorite leading lady Charlize Theron? Is this relationship the real deal? Or is it
more of a friends with benefits situation? Both their careers are pretty hot right now and with little Jackson to take care of, does Charlize even have time
for anything more than some loving on the side? I need to know!

Dear Needy:
Darling, you sound like you'll implode if you don't find out what exactly Charlize will be doing with her lips and love life for the next 20 years! Remember this: Charlize and Stuart Townsend were together a very long time not that long ago. Many people thought they would marry (including, for a time, Char and Stuart themselves). So, a year later, if Charlize wants to take her time with a hot stud like A.Skars, let her! And, as you said, she does have some other
priorities right now like Jackson."

Shit You Can't Buy said...

Seriously, Ted is full of! His blinds change constantly; in the Nelly Fang blind he said his previous relationship was mostly beardy/PR-stuff, then he said about Alexander/Kate that the relationship was real. So contradicting. First he says Charlize/Alex are very serious, then they are just having a fling and now he is backing off again and saying it shouldn't be defined and implies Charlize is too busy? God..

His credibility is just 0,0 right now.
And also the stuff with the changing sexual preferences of all of his blinds; get the feeling it are mostly his fantasies. According to his blinds all hot men in HW are either bi or gay -.-

Rita said...

Ted confirmed today (afternoon mail) that Charlize a Vice star, in the same breath as he did Kristen S.

Not that there was any doubt this is Charlize.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have a question about my favorite Vicer Nelly Fang! Could his naughty ways cause trouble in paradise with his new lady? Or is she fine with her man's naughty ways?

Dear Queen of Denial:
Clearly you didn't catch my latest installment on Nelly's current chickie, Queen Djibouti. Because then you'd know that Queenie is totally cool with Nell's naughty ways—in fact, I think they might be a turn on for her."

blurry vice said...

Charlize confirmed as a BV for the first time on 5/14/12.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Judas Jack-Off the not-American, lanky and muscled Alexander Skarsgård? It would explain some of his dating choices.

Dear Dating Dud:
Not a bad guess, S, but no, JJO is not A.Skars, but that doesn't mean Skars isn't equally as Vicey. As for his dating life, I agree that Skars and Kate Bosworth were
totally blah together, but he was rumored to be with Charlize Theron for a hot minute, and that's a pretty solid catch if ya ask us!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Does the queen, Charlize Theron have a moniker? Is it really old or more recent? Thanks!

Dear Royal Pains:
Yes, recently.

Dear Ted,
Love the idea of Ryan Kwanten for Finnick Odair, but isn't he a little too old? And on to Vices, does Sammy Sniffles know Queen Djibouti? And is Billy Bend-Over
delicious Mad Men star Jon Hamm?

Dear Just a Number:
Ryan is only a few years older than Mr. Kitsch (who was a casting fave before he nixed it). Jennifer Lawrence is casted older than her character and that worked out
fab; I think Mr. Kwanten's abs and acting chops could make us suspend our disbelief. As for your Vice Q's, no and no. Though Billy and Jon do have similarly handsome

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Kiefer Sutherland our skank-tastic Nelly Fang? Since I am at work I can't troll through the Blind Vice archives. If not, does he star in his own Blind Vice or is he a supporting player?
—Julie from Texas

Dear Lost Boys Gone Batty:
Hardly! Nelly is so much hotter than Kiefer—at least these days. Actually, looks aren't the only thing that would have the 24 star envious of Mr. Fang; Nell's boob-
tube projects are actually successful (unlike that Touch show, unfortunately)."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Can I please get my Nelly Fang fix? Since being with Queen Djibouti, has he entertained any women on set?

Dear Ask and You Shall Receive:
For you, d, anything! Especially when it lets me talk about one of my fave naughty Vicers—and Nelly is certainly one of the naughtiest, natch. I'm surprised you didn't

ask if Mr. Fang had entertained any guys since beginning his tour-de-romance (the Queen is kosher with that kinda thing), but the answer is the same for both: No."

kukalala said...

why judging his past loves?i think kate bosworth's just about his equal...