Saturday, April 7, 2012

Blind Vice! Brash Young Nobody Paws the Help and Hollers!

New BV from Ted yesterday -


Blind Vice!  Brash Young Nobody Paws the Help and Hollers!


Stars new to the scene can be so stupid. They haul outta town and they think they can act all diva-like and nobody's gonna be the wiser.
Uh, wrong! And perhaps no one's realizing this right now better than Consuela Conveyor-Belt, a newly minted star who thinks her stuff don't stink just because she went to the Oscars.
Gosh, what did Consuela do, exactly?
She ditched that boyfriend's she's so busy pretending to be all hot 'n' bothered with and went to a resort popular with disco-eyed Angelinos. With some girlfriends.
And when the partying gals hit a club which just happened to have a cocktail waitress who caught Consuela's eye, that's when things really got interesting.
Consuela made a pass at the waitress. The server then got all offended and stuff. Probably had something to do with Ms. Conveyor-Belt sticking her hand up the waitress's skirt, ya know?
The gorgeous worker-bee screamed bloody murder, at which point Consuela screamed even louder bloody murder! How dare you accuse me, don't you know who I am, and all that self-important crap.
There was a scuffle and then management swept the whole thing under the carpet, as it were.
Lesson learned: Sanctimonious B-listers who scream enough always get their way.
Until their beards who don't like the unnecessary attention drop them faster than you can say, "Who's next on the conveyor belt?"
AND IT AIN'T: Lauren ConradJessica SimpsonJennifer Love Hewitt

Update 4/14/12 - Ted has also eliminated Zoe Saldana.

Top suspect: 


39 comments:

blurry vice said...

Was thinking Shalene Woodley. Then the beard comment... don't think it's stacy keibler. More likely Elisabetta Canalis (oscars previous year).

Savannah said...

Stacy Keibler is the top guess on the boards. Biggest clue: "Keebler cookies are made by elves, they don't just come off a CONVEYER BELT." She was unknown to the mainstream public before she became George Clooney's gf. He took her to the Oscars and then they broke up recently.

But doesn't Ted's use of "B list" insinuate Consuela is famous for her profession? Which Stacy Keibler isn't?

Ted doesn't usually use terms like A-list and B-list it's hard to say what to him qualifies as B-list.

My other guess is Emma Stone. Clues: "Brash Young Nobody Paws THE HELP" Emma obv starred in The Help. She went to the Oscars this year as a presenter. The beard would be Andrew Garfield. But this would conflict with the way Ted usually talks about her. He usually talks like he loves her and thinks she's down to earth.

Savannah said...

Stacy Keibler is the top guess on the boards. Biggest clue: "Keebler cookies are made by elves, they don't just come off a CONVEYER BELT." She was unknown to the mainstream public before she became George Clooney's gf. He took her to the Oscars and then they broke up recently.

But doesn't Ted's use of "B list" insinuate Consuela is famous for her profession? Which Stacy Keibler isn't?

Ted doesn't usually use terms like A-list and B-list it's hard to say what to him qualifies as B-list.

My other guess is Emma Stone. Clues: "Brash Young Nobody Paws THE HELP" Emma obv starred in The Help. She went to the Oscars this year as a presenter. She would prob still be considered B list in the industry. The beard would be Andrew Garfield. But this would conflict with the way Ted usually talks about her. He usually talks like he loves her and thinks she's down to earth.

kellymichelle said...

I thought Shalene Woodley at 1st as well, but further reading into this blind changed my mind instantly. That doesn't sound like her. I'm guessing Stacy Kiebler. Just on vacation. Dating someone who goes through women. Elisabetta would be a good guess but she's dating Steve-o now and I wouldn't consider women he dates as being on a conveyer belt.

lns212 said...

I was first to bring Stacy up on the boards. I felt she could tie in to Lauren & Jess since she has also appeared on reality TV(DWTS). That's the only way I knew her before she was Clooney's GF.

But now that I think about it, it could be Elisabetta."Angelino" is slang word used to describe an Italian American. She also was on DWTS, so a reality TV tie.

I'm positive it's a Clooney girlfriend though.

roseyf said...

See, I think it's Zoe Saldana. B-list, newly minted, ditched the boyfriend, sanctimonious. How many people has Bradley Cooper been linked with lately? JLo, Cameron, Jen Aniston, Olivia Wilde, and then Zoe. Certainly a conveyer belt in the making.

Chrissy said...

I think it's Zoe Saldana, however she doesn't match any of the AIAs.. I will continue thinking about this.

Chrissy said...

I have found a connection! Through my intensive research, I discovered that two of the AIAs dated John Mayer - Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewit. Maybe that's a clue? I'm not getting the George Clooney angle, but I thought I would share.

Lila said...

I think it's a Clooney girlfriend, too. Could be either one of them, Elisabetta or Stacy, because they both fit. There is a People article from about a week ago about Clooney and Keibler in Cabo, "all over each other." It totally reads like a PR plant. We all know he was using her for Oscar season, he just hires arm candy. Also, very interestingly for People, the comments were heavy with gaydar. Heavy.

I know a LOT of gossip followers are convinced that Clooney isn't gay, but that doesn't make him straight. He is the quintessential sexual grey area!

Cristina said...

@Lila: when all that RDJ/himmm/Hayden Panettiere stuff surfaced, people were suggesting that Clooney actually met Stacey through the Room 23 book

BlahBlahBlah said...

Zoe Saldaner I can see, but she was in Avatar and star trek and got starbilling fir columbiana. Shes almost A list (well B+ at least). This sounds more like Kiebler or Clooneys Italian ex

BlahBlahBlah said...
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LOLpLandon said...

IDK I just wouldn't think that Keibler or Elisabetta are B list. Maybe C or D, but not B! That is my problem with them for this blind...I think it is someone newer to Hollywood or someone that has just started getting tons of buzz such as Emma Stone, Rooney Mara (although I know she is thought to be another blind), Elizabeth Olsen, ect. To me A list would be people that are huge in Hollywood and that everyone has heard of such as Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jack Nicholson, ect. and B list would be very close to A-list but just not there yet. Saying Keibler or Elisabetta to be C list is kind of pushing it. I mean what are they really famous for except dating George C? If it were them I could see Ted saying that it is someone that is C or D list with B list name recognition (yes, they might be B list for the name recognition, but still IDK even that seems to be pushing it.)

Lila said...

I disagree that Keibler isn't a "B-lister." When you are Clooney's steady and designers are clammering to dress you and you're getting major product endorsement deals, you are B-list. She's not a B-list actress on the Ulmer scale, but a B-list celebrity. I mean, apparently Kim Kardashian is an A-list celebrity, so...

KaDixonLaw said...

@Lila - Ugh...Kim Kartrashian A-list? I hope not.

I think calling this person a nobody rules out B-list actresses like Zoe Saldana. Stacey Keibler, on the other hand, becomes a starving actress and former wrestler without Clooney.

Lila said...

@KaDixonLaw I totally agree with you, and I think Emma Stone is in that category too - both Emma and Zoe are talented and will likely only move up from here - that just isn't the tenor of this BV. I read this BV is someone who is nearing the end of their 15 minutes...

childeroland said...

Ted says it isn't Zoe.

LOLpLandon said...

@Lila, sorry I still disagree with you I don't think Keibler nor Elisabetta are B list just because they are/have dated Clooney. I certainly don't think Kim K. is A list by any standards. For me most people know who B list celebs are, but I think if you asked people that didn't keep up with gossip columns who George Clooney's flavor of the week/month was no one much would know. Just like John Travolta and Kelly Preston have been married a long time by Hwood standards, however If I ever mention Kelly Preston to people that don't keep up with the celeb world, then they don't know who that even is. So marrying/dating a celebrity doesn't automatically make you a celebrity yourself, especially if said celebrity goes through dates like he does underwear. That is just my opinion though, what really matters I suppose is what is B list to Ted. I really would like to know who this is though!

reallytotally said...

I got the impression that it's Consuela (not necessarily the ditched boyf) who goes through beards like a conveyor belt.

And "young nobody" in the headline? I think that'd at least mean under 25..? Stacey Keibler is 33, Elisabetta Canalis is 34.

Using the word "nobody" does not make it sound like Consuela is starring in a big film (e.g. I wouldn't call Emma Stone a "nobody"). Although it may be a moot point to debate what level of fame or talent is Ted's "B-list", I think it could refer more generally to someone who's "not A-list".

I wonder if the name "Consuela" refers to her Latin descent, or the fact that the act took place in Mexico (it certainly does sound like Cabo)?

Potential AIAs's connection: a show on MTV? Lauren Conrad and Jessica Simpson have been on reality shows aired on MTV. Jessica Love Hewitt used to date Carson Daley who was on MTV show TRL for ages (and isn't Jamie Kennedy who she dated is on MTV too?)

Based on this, my wild guess: Kaya Scodelario. Became known in the UK version of Skins (the US version is an MTV show); a Brazilian mother (=Latina connection); young (born 1992); new but not explosive movie career (starred in the new Wuthering Heights remake, so some name recognition but not major fame); she just finished filming her first US film in LA, so maybe likely to party in Cabo.

BlahBlahBlah said...

Reallytotally...good guess...Kaya was at the Oscars as well



http://m.justjaredjr.com/pl/2012/02/29/kaya-scodelario-meets-jonah-hill/

5c927b7a-830f-11e1-a00a-000f20980440 said...

Good guess! I never thought of Kaya but u maybe on to something here. Don't forgot to add "bloody murder" to that. My other guess by the way is Lily Collins, but I wouldn't really call her a nobody.

MISCH said...

It's Zoe...........

Savannah said...

It is not Zoe Saldana. Ted Not'd her in a Bitchback... The thing about Kaya Scodelario that doesn't fit is that she's apparently been in a relationship with the same guy for years.

On another board someone pointed out that the word "scream" was used three times in the Blind. Maybe a girl from Scream 4 like Emma Roberts? The beard being that blond guy from Glee?

Pseudonym789 said...

I like this guess!

Unknown said...

Obviously Betty White.

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Does Zoe Saldana have a Blind Vice? Even though she's not pretty to me and watching her act is like watching paint dry, she has to have some skeletons in her

closet, right? I think she might be Consuela Conveyor-Belt.
—Leah

Dear Can't Be Tamed:
What?! Leah, hate to disagree with ya but Zoe is gorgeous. And while she might have just split with BF Bradley Cooper—who, of course, has made a name for

himself in the Blind Vice Hall of Fame—she is not our handsy hell raisin' Consuela. Consuela sure is pretty too though."

littlemizpoet91 said...

for some reason this screams jennifer lawrence to me. i always felt that she was at least bisexual, if not a full lesbian. she is supposedly datin nicholas hoult, her costar in xmen and she was nominated for an oscar the year before, not sure if she went this year ( did ted actually imply that she went THIS year, or is he saying that she has just been to the oscars period). she is about to become a HUGE star from the hunger games so if this is her, i can see her saying the "do you know who i am" line. sucks because she seemed so cool....
p.s- i am not sure if she was notted already. if so i am going to go with emma stone.

filmreview9 said...

@littlemizpoet91 I think it's Jennifer Lawrence too. That's the first person who came to mind.

Michelle said...

Emma stone and Jennifer Lawrence are not "Young Nobodies" young yes, nobodies no

littlemizpoet91 said...

the way ted wrote this makes me think he is making this about someone who is a nobody RIGHT NOW but will be big soon and that definitely describes J. Lawrence. Not to mention Ted said a B-lister, he could have easily have said a Z lister like he has done in the past. J. Law has been in a lot of big movies, but not as a star until the Hunger Games. and Nicholas Hoult definitely comes across as a beard.

littlemizpoet91 said...

also, i agree with the poster that commented saying that a b lister would be someone getting a lot of buzz and will soon be an a lister. jennifer lawrence is someone who was nominated for an oscar, was in the xmen ( which was a huge hit), and also considered talented. however no one knew who she was until she was cast for the hunger games. michael fassbender and james mccavy were the stars of xmen so she barely got more recognition from that. no one knew who kstew was before twilight but she was in a lot of indie movies (ones that were 10 times better than the twilight ones) and now she is famous worldwide, i see that happening with j.lawrence, and i feel like that is what ted is referring to when he saw a "nobody"

Savannah said...

Didn't Ted put this blind out a week after the Hunger Games had opened? Would Ted seriously call Jennifer Lawrence a "nobody" a week after the movie she starred in had one of the biggest opening weekends EVER?

littlemizpoet91 said...

i have no idea what teds grading system for celebs is...to be honest he is never really reliable and likes to mislead. i know jennifer lawrence is a stretch but i feel strongly about this being her, since i have read something similar to this before. i don't like the stacy kiebler guess since she isn't really young. the only other young nobodies would be reality tv stars or tv show starlets that have been to the oscars in the past few years ( i also find it strange that ted was unclear of which year they went to, since that would probably be a big hint). the oscars are known for not having a young and hip audience so the only way a young person could go was if they were in a movie that was nominated. maybe this blind took place before the hunger games was released and ted is telling the story now since she is about to become famous. despite the movies big opening jenn lawrence still isn't technically an a lister but she probably will be very soon. remember this is a franchise for a younger crowd and the young crowd isn't all it takes to make a celeb and a list star. ted uses the word "nobody" and a b- lister so i still will hold out a tiny bit of hope that i am right. i would love to hear some more guesses though because if this isn't her i am completely stumped. ted made this one pretty ague....as usual. maybe someone can ask ted if any of the young stars of the hunger games have vices yet.

littlemizpoet91 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
reallytotally said...

For some reason Ted's been all about Harriet Talons, no clues for this one really. I've sent 3 questions - in the first one I also asked straight out if it's Kaya Scodelario - but to no avail. I'm a little excited that this appears to fit Kaya so well, I'd like to have more confirmation that my sleuthing could be correct!

In addition to the reasons supporting the Kaya S theory I detailed above, with all the hoopla recently after some of Jennifer Lawrence's (rather innocent) comments, I think Consuela would have to be someone without too much face recognition, or we would've heard more buzz about it. Certainly I have a feeling the studio would not allow the star of a huge break-out franchise like the Hunger Games cause such public ruckus. And as for Stacey Keiblers of the world, I don't think they would risk their role in the media as a famous girlfriend by being so public with their vices.

About the Kaya S boyfriend Savannah mentioned, re-reading the blind I don't think there's anything that totally rules out a long-term and still-continuing beard(ish) relationship. It does say "ditched that boyfriend's she's so busy pretending to be all hot 'n' bothered with", but maybe it's not "ditched" as in broke up, but instead more temporary, as in left him out of her holiday plans? Or maybe they broke up briefly but got back together and didn't tell the media? I'm not fully aware of her relationship history, but she did date her Skins co-star too, so there's been at least a few boyfriends (potential beards), maybe it could classify as bit of conveyor-belt bearding action?

Darla said...

Lily Collins. She "dated" Taylor Lautner and Zac Efron. Also, look at the initialis and AIAs: Lily Jane Collins.

reallytotally said...

I checked the list of who's not been a BV (on this site), and according to that Lily Collins hasn't a vice, as of 4/10/12 (after this BV was published).

Ted has also denied a few times that Jennifer Lawrence has a vice, latest was 3/29/12 (and this vice does sound like it's been going on for a while, and neither the vice nor Consuela's bitchiness appear to be a major surprise to Ted).

canadian_gurl said...

Eva Mendes, with her beard being Ryan Gosling?

NotCaseSensitive said...

If Zoe Saldana or JLH put their hands down my skirt, I would not mind one bit.

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