Thursday, June 5, 2014

Lainey - The Loyal Customer

New Lainey riddle -

The Loyal Customer

For years I’ve been saying that she is such a bitch. Like, terrifying. And humourless, unless you’re famous. But on a red carpet? If she’s sneering at you? There’s venom. Behind that cool, tall beauty, she’s vicious.
Now, maybe I understand why.
Turns out she likes her cocaine. She’s much smarter about it than, say, people who end up under LA bridges with sketchy explanations, or child stars who rage down the Pacific Coast Highway chasing down their enemies. How does she keep winning awards and protecting her reputation? How has she kept the sh-t off of her? Because beyond her love life, there has never, ever been any gossip about her indulgences, beyond the occasional fruit, especially now that she has someone else to look after.
One explanation (on top of her discretion): Customer Loyalty. Same dealer for a decade. He supplies only to very exclusive clientele and is selective about his regular customers. She’s a regular customer. It’s more than occasional bump. Never mind the boyfriend, that might be her most steady relationship.

Update --
Top suspect is Charlize Theron

15 comments:

blurry vice said...

My first thought was Nicole Kidman.

Readers "C and "Dana" posted below that they think it is Charlize Theron. Interesting, please share why!

blurry vice said...

The FRUIT.... is this Snow White related you think for Charlize? The apple? Hmmm...

Erichan said...

I was thinking Charlize too! There was a picture of her a few years ago using an apple as a bong? Also, Lainey has made reference to her being a b*tch, she has a son and is in a new relationship with Sean Penn, ticking all the boxes, I think. Finally - she is tall and could be described as cool (or cold)?

Lins said...

I don't think that you could describe her rship with Penn as 'her most stable yet' given that she was with Stuart Townsend for nine years. Clare Danes was my other thought but.. She's married.

Lins said...

Oh no I was reading it wrongly- it was - never mind the bf! It's def Charlize in this case!

Penny Lane said...

Charlize Theron. Next...

C said...

I'm with Penny ... this one was too easy. Maybe Lainey is mad about that stupid rape comment and wanted to out her.

Reasons why it's Charlize:

1) I didn't realize because she hasn't been doing it as much lately, but Lainey has consistently referred to her as a bitch and analyzed her bitchiness for a long time. I found probably 10 examples in the archives, and I stopped when I got back to 2010. A couple of examples:
http://www.laineygossip.com/Interviewing-Charlize-Theron-for-Snow-White-And-The-Huntsman/23664?celebrityId=31

http://www.laineygossip.com/Charlize-Therons-baby-and-bitch-strategy/23003?celebrityId=31

2) The fruit reference — Theron was photographed a few years ago smoking out of an apple bong, as Erichan said. Lainey mentions it here: http://www.laineygossip.com/Charlize-Theron-in-New-York-to-promote-The-Burning-Plain/14585?celebrityId=31

3) "Someone else to look after" is her son, Jackson, as Erichan also said.

Case closed, people! Raise your hand if you're surprised about this one ... ;)

Dana said...

I think C summed this up perfectly.

C said...

Well I basically just reiterated what Erichan wrote ... haha team effort!

Erichan said...

But you did it in a much more articulate way! Go team!!!!

ECFan said...

It's Charlize. And again - Lainey's late with the news. For years there were stories of Theron & Townsend's coke and booze binges. I think Lainey needs some better sources because I've heard about Theron/Townsend's alleged coke\booze\threeesomes then it sure seems like a professional gossip should know. Theron is also currently BFFs with Chelsea Handler these days - the coke and booze queen herself.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

I'm more interested in why Lainey felt compelled to make this a blind. Just...weird.

blurry vice said...

I'm so glad you all knew this one... I guess I was one of the rare people remaining on Earth that were clueless to the fact that Charlize is a coke addict! Does not surprise me though.

juliya venture said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
it's me said...

I certainly wouldn't have thought it would be her. Cold and a Coke addict.. How do you guys even know this stuff? If she's so private and all.. How do you all know? Just curious... Loyal Customer.. Cold.. Coke.. I've never read anything about that until now... Hard to believe. I've run across her several times at Pink Berry in Hollywood when NO cameras were around and she's super sweet and very friendly.

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