Friday, May 25, 2012

Blind Vice: Chiquita's Latest Party Trick Titillates!

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Chiquita's Latest Party Trick Titillates!

Have we mentioned that Chiquita is, well, bananas?
If her using her man-trapping nether regions to sleep her way to the top (or at least to primetime) or that outrageous diva 'tude (seriously, who does this broad think she is?) wasn't enough to convince you, well, maybe you're just as kooky as Chicky is!
Which means you'll love her latest party trick:
Not only does Chiquita make it a habit to hook up with at least one costar per party, natch, but she's taken to a stripping routine of sorts.
At a recent A-list fête attended by our brassy babe and her coworkers, partygoers were left shocked when Chiquita cut a line for the bathroom and disappeared inside.
Well, the cutting wasn't actually what had jaws dropping—Chiquita is way too famous to wait in lines, of course—it was what she revealed when she left the powder room.
Which was her lingerie.
Yep, Chiquita hit the bathroom, stripped off some clothing and returned to the party in her hot pants like it was totally normal. And that's how she entertained for the rest of the evening: in her pseudo-birthday suit.
On second thought, guess I'm not too surprised. She's always been more likely to bare her body than her soul.
AND IT AIN'T: Blake Lively, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Emily VanCamp

Please use the label below for a link to our posts on the previous Chiquita BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Naya Rivera

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Blind Vice: Veronica Bee-Stings Has Been Stung!

New from Ted Friday May 11 -

Blind Vice: Veronica Bee-Stings Has Been Stung!

If sometimes trampy, always crafty Veronica Bee-Stings can find love, then we all can, right?!
That's what Awful Truth's broken hearted club is hoping, at least. Because we recently caught wind that our dear VBS—who never met a husband she couldn't steal or a lie she wouldn't tell—isn't just hooking up with her current beefcake B-Lister.
Nope, Ronnie has been bitten by the love bug. And how!
"She's telling everyone she knows that she's in love," a close pal of Veronica's dishes about the surgically enhanced starlet and her boy toy of the moment, who (if you believe Ms. Bee-Stings) might be "the one."
How trés romantic, no?! Sounds like someone's ready to get wifed up!
Actually, on second thought, that's not saying much, as Veronica has always been known to fall hard and fast for the many men in her life. At least that's what she wants you to believe...she values the paparazzi pictures of her and her famous beaus far more than any TLC they give her.
That is, until now.
"She's changed her ways. Really!" her friend promises. "She's not interested in setting up tabloid pictures or flaunting him on the red carpet. She actually likes spending time with him. It helps that he's crazy about her too."
All her ways except one.
We have a feeling she isn't exactly revealing her nasty secrets to this dude either, ya know, in case her rather risqué past makes him want to cut and run.
So instead she'll keep those sexy skeletons buried in the back of her closet, behind all those Hervé mini-dresses and designer pumps.
AND IT AIN'T: Katy PerryCharlize TheronLea Michele

Please use the label below for a link to our posts on the previous Veronica Bee-Stings BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Blake Lively

Friday, May 11, 2012

Blind Vice: Double Devious Doings!

New from Ted today... kickin' it old school with two random Vices in one -

Blind Vice: Double Devious Doings!

Oh, what a tangled website we weave, when at first we practice to deceive. That's what one of those crusty writer guys said, right?
OK, maybe not exactly, but conniving, breasty Harriet Talons sure had that in mind when she backstabbed so many people on her current hit show, her own network's New York website is currently weighing whether or not to write a scathing exposé on Harriet's behind-the-scenes shenanigans—they're that damn impressive.
Back in Hollywood, but equally as stealth—and to far more sexy results—would be an Oscar-nominated star's party behavior. Want to hear what Freddie Friction picked up along with his cocktail?
A date!
And it's weird on so many levels: Just like Harriet, who tells the world constantly (mostly in women's magazines) how down-to-earth and shy and humble she is, Jeremy's been busy spinning a similar ersatz media presence. For instance, he often talks about how "straight" he is. Like, a lot.
Isn't it fascinating how very unlike Crescent Cumquat and Topher Hairy-Tuchus—who often depend on extravagant online shenanigans to hook up with guys they fancy—Freddie is. He just asked a guy home at a recent N.Y. party! Right in front of everybody!
And even though the party dude who Freddie asked back to his place was completely shocked, he did manage to say yes, in case you were wondering.
Yeah, maybe it was kinda stupid for Freddie (who we hear is a tad on the old-fashioned side) to let this all go down in the open, but hey, makes more sense than Craigslist, huh? Less of a trail…
I think Freddie's gonna be a crafty one, just like Harriet. In fact, I'm sure of it!
AND IT AIN'T: Felicity Huffman and Chord Overstreet, Joan Rivers and Zac Efron, Betty White and Robert Pattinson

Please use the label below for the links to our previous Harriet Talons BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect for Harriet Talons:  Teri Hatcher
Top suspect for Freddie Friction: Jeremy Renner

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Blind Vice! Hot Celeb Thinks Different to Get Lucky

New from Ted on Friday May 4 -

Blind Vice!  Hot Celeb Thinks Different to Get Lucky!

Traylor McMuff is the kind of celeb dude who enjoys many of the trappings of Hollywood life. But the guy will probably never go home with an Oscar, that's just a cold hard fact.
Instead, Traylor gets to take back to his bicoastal abodes many other things, mainly lots of money, tons of friends who love his outgoing personality, and, um, just about every woman who he comes in contact with, both married and not.
What's his secret?
Traylor hangs out almost exclusively with gay men!
See, Traylor knows that despite his killer abs and face, both L.A. and New York are chock-full of gorgeous young men who are dying to show almost any woman a good time. And even though Traylor's bod is drop-dead tight (still) and his face is chiseled as they come, he is not, how shall we say, getting any younger.
He therefore loves nothing more than going out—sometimes several times in one week—with his friends to gay bars. Because Traylor knows full well that often where gay men go, also go their straight best girlfriends.
And these gals are usually so taken aback to find out Traylor isn't secretly gay (as many folks think) they're willing to do just about anything the McMuff asks.
Which just happens to always include taking them back to his pad and—how shall I put this?—having nooky that's not exactly great for everybody.
Just Traylor.
What a naughty boy in more ways than one!
AND IT AIN'T: Matthew McConaughey, Mark Wahlberg, Kanye West

Update 5/11/12 Ted has eliminated: Matthew McConaughey, Mark Wahlberg, Kanye West, Jeremy Renner.

Top suspect: