Lainey - Doing it through the underwear hole

New Lainey riddle today -

Doing it through the underwear hole

Inexplicably, he’s been linked to some really hot, pretty famous women, even though he’s not exactly hot and he behaves, at least artistically, like a douchebag. What’s the attraction? Certainly not his sex moves. This won’t solve the mystery either.
When it’s time to f-ck, he doesn’t like doing it at home. Which is weird because, well, he’s really weird about germs and touching. And you’d think his house would be cleaner than a hotel, right? So he and whoever he’s about to do it with are at the hotel. They’re about to do it. Only he won’t take his clothes off. Instead, he’ll always keep his underwear on, looping his dick through the boxer hole so as to minimise as much skin-on-skin contact as possible.
Maybe that’s why it never lasts?

Update:

Lainey - She lost the cover

New Lainey blind riddle from Sept 5 -

She lost the cover

It’s an opportunity that’s been withheld from some of the most famous women in the world. It’s considered a major honour – to make the cover, THAT cover, a cover her predecessors had achieved and one that was being offered to her just as she was moving forward with the next stage in her career. It was to be a big deal.
The photo shoot happened. Everyone was happy with the pictures.
And then, well, she did her thing. She did her thing, for several minutes she did her thing, and the world gasped and they gasped and now those pictures, they might not be on the cover anymore.
They’ve told her that they are reconsidering her cover but that she’ll still show up in the pages, just not on the front page.
For prestige, this is definitely a setback. But for sales? And notoriety? And general headline-worthiness? There haven’t been any losses. It…just might be a couple of years before they ask her again. 

Top suspect: Miley Cyrus

Lainey - Big super secret hookup

New Lainey riddle today:

Big super secret hookup

There’s a reason she recently decided to flaunt her brand new relationship so publicly. Suddenly she’d found true love behind the scenes? And they were telling magazines about it? And getting papped on holiday in Europe? It was because she was sending a message.
To the major Hollywood player with whom she’d been having an affair for 6 months. Only, at the time, he had a girlfriend. They were dealing with each other undercover. She would travel to see him while he was shooting on location overseas. No one, none of us, picked up on the fact that she showed up in the same city. He was sleeping with both the official girlfriend and the side job and telling the side job that he’d break up with the official one and make her the bonafide but, really, the side job, to him, was just a good f-ck and not a proper escort at the kinds of functions he usually needs an escort for. She continued to pressure him though and when he refused her demands, she showed up with a new man, jammed it in his face – and ours – and very shortly afterwards, he formally ended it with his gf, with a generous send-off.
Now? Impasse. She’s enjoying her summer hookup. And he’s all like, ok, I’m available, you can come to me, or don’t. It’s not like he can’t find a replacement, like, right away. Any woman becomes an instant star as soon as he takes her out. Given that she’s already a star, on a smaller scale, their reveal, should they figure out their situation, would be great for gossip though it could overshadow his work. And he has a lot of it coming up.

Top suspects: George Clooney and Eva Longoria

NY Post - Just Asking 6.10.13

New York Post, Just Asking

Which married star is cheating on his wife with every hot young girl he can get his hands on? At a recent boutique opening, he was getting frisky with a beautiful assistant, asking her to join him in the bathroom. But her dad threatened to sue, alleging he had molested his daughter, and it was all captured on CCTV. The star had enough money to make the angry dad go away quietly . . . 
WHICH top media executive accidentally butt-dialed a colleague and left a voice mail of himself booking a hooker for the night while on a business trip? The voice mail has made its rounds around the office . . . 
WHICH athlete begged a gal pal to come over one afternoon to have sex, and then asked her to find another girl so that they could have a threesome? 

Update:

Lainey-What he does in his room

Lainey riddle from yesterday, May 31-

What he does in his room

After a series of sh-tty relationships, she thought she’d finally found the one. He says the right things, he wants to be with her all the time, he isn’t embarrassed to be seen with her. And he’s not motivated to do much other than to be with her. Life is not particularly challenging for either of them...but every man needs his down time. Or, in his case, his down down time.

What does he do with his down, down time?

Not sure...exactly.

But you can smell it. You can always smell it from his office. So there’s one blend for when he needs to relax and then something else when he needs a hit of excitement. Which might explain why there are small mirrors on his desk with powdery white residue. Do they do it together? Surely not now, in her condition. But maybe later for a shortcut to skinny.

Top suspect: Jessica Simpson

Lainey - Deal with the paps

New Lainey riddle -

Deal with the paps

She hates the paps, and she’s been burned by the paps. So now she’s dealing with the paps and is working exclusively with one agency, agreeing to give them photos on a regular basis. The agreement started several months ago when she approached one agency in exchange for information on a paparazzo working for another agency. She wanted names, plates, any details available, presumably in hopes of either legal retribution, if possible, and illegal retribution, if necessary. Very gangster.
The only problem with making this kind of arrangement is that you have to deliver. And if you don’t deliver as often as the paps want, and on the kind of photos that are lucrative, they’ll take what they can get, show up when they’re not supposed to, and that compromises the control she was attempting to secure in the first place. Very Faustian.

Top suspect: January Jones

Lainey - Nanny Diaries

New Lainey riddle today May 3 -

Nanny Diaries

No one wants to work with Hollywood’s most difficult mother. She now has a reputation among child care agencies for being the most unpopular celebrity nanny employer and many now only send to her the nannies on their staff who specialise in dealing with mega bitch moms.
She is surprisingly less organised than you would think, often requesting services with no lead time and expecting to be offered priority treatment. When the nanny arrives, she often won’t speak to the person directly, communicating via her assistant, and often implying that the person isn’t attractive enough, and because of this, may or may not sell her out. Because only ugly people compromise confidentiality, I guess?
She confiscates cell phones. She also demands to go through the nanny’s private messages. After a dinner party once, when she and her friends were particularly mouthy, backstabbing several prominent actors and actresses, she demanded to search the nanny who had stayed late -- without prior notice -- so as to make sure she wasn’t bugged and threatened legal action for no reason. Speaking of working hours, she has been known to require extra time but isn’t willing to pay for it, rationalising her request by blaming the person for an imaginary offensive -- like missing diapers or a bent branch/stem in the garden. Ie. “I notice that the whatever bush over there looks a little trampled. You weren’t careful enough. You are staying an extra two hours.”
She is known to be verbally abusive and impatient. She once watched a nanny pick up spilled baby food all over the floor while tapping her hand on the counter and criticising the person’s physique and intellect as the reason for why it was taking so long. Many nannies in LA, hearing horror stories from their peers, have turned potential work placements with her because they don’t want to bother with the drama.
Not Jennifer Garner.

Update: Apparently Lainey revealed this was Reese Witherspoon at the Smut Soiree

NFL player coming out?

It's another one of these.  I saw this article today written by The Sports Xchange that popped up on yahoo.  There's apparently an NFL player who is considering coming out.

Report: Gay NFL player considering coming out

A current NFL player who is gay is seriously considering coming out publicly in the next few months with the intention of continuing his football career after making the announcement, CBSSports.com's Mike Freeman reported.
The player in question was not named by Freeman, who was not aware of the player's identity himself. However, if the player does announce publicly that he is gay, it would be a milestone event in American pro sports. There has never been an active openly gay player in a major American team sport. The player's concern, according to the report, is not how his news would be received in the locker room. His concern is the possible harm he might suffer from homophobic fans. "I honestly think the players of the NFL have been ready for an openly gay player for quite some time now," Scott Fujita, a free agent linebacker, told CBSSports.com. "Trust me, the coming out of a player would create much bigger waves outside the locker room than inside. The way I've seen the conversation around LGBT issues evolve, especially in the past few years, has been encouraging. Guys are more accepting than they used to be. Even those who raise personal objections to homosexuality, some of whom are good friends of mine, would still be able to coexist and accept a gay teammate." 

It's a shame that people in sports are still homophobic.  Why question his "intention of continuing his football career after making the announcement"?   As if he should retire for some reason?  I really hope this player comes out if this is true. It's time for the professional athletes to catch up with the rest of the world.

Top suspect as of 5/3/13: possibly Jason Collins of the NBA

Lainey - Doing it to get her back

New Lainey riddle today -

Doing it to get her back

We were all a little sad, I think, when it was confirmed that they’d broken up. No one sadder than him. But she left him because of his drinking. It was excessive, and with the experience of her last relationship, she saw the signs and opted for self-preservation. In addition to his relationship with alcohol though, he also had an unconventional relationship with sex. Think...Michael Fassbender in Shame. Along those lines. Though he was faithful to her, totally, there are addiction issues he clearly has to address. And he’s doing that now, going to meetings, reaching out to another celebrity in recovery with whom he’s worked, as some of their issues are quite similar. He’s almost a month sober now and, yes, he’s doing it, in part, to get her back which... well... they know that’s not the way, don’t they? A few people close to him don’t think he’s really taking it seriously if he hasn’t committed to rehab. And she can see that too. For her, this is permanent, even though he doesn’t seem to be able to accept it.

Top suspects: Michelle Williams, Jason Segel

Lainey - Mother Issues

New Lainey riddle today -

Mother Issues

She’s a mega-star who started young and seemed to not be affected by the child star curse. Seemed to be. But eventually, that sh-t will find you, even on a delay.
It’s the mother. Though the parents were previously thought to be harmless... the mother now appears to be going full Dina Lohan. The mother has been hitting her up for cash for a while now, the better part of a year. To support her own projects, resurrect her own failed dreams, and her new relationship -- so essentially she’s bankrolling her ma’s midlife crisis. The daughter can afford it, certainly, and if it was just the money, it wouldn’t be getting out, but now she’s being asked by her mother to leverage her own fame and influence for industry contacts and connections. Since she can’t get a meeting on her own, she’s been namechecking her daughter to get in the door, and when that doesn’t work, she’s been pressuring her daughter to step in on her behalf, jeopardising her daughter’s reputation. No matter how hot you are, you don’t want to be known as the girl with That Mother. It’s becoming a concern for the daughter’s management team, as they worry that her ma’s increasingly aggressive famewhoring will undo their own moves in advancing the young star’s career. As you can imagine, it’s a delicate, uncomfortable situation. She is loyal and protective to and of her family. But she cannot deny that her mother may be compromising her professionally and is torn about whether or not to indulge her mother’s demands or look out for herself instead. She’s stressed, and while that doesn’t excuse her mistakes, it does provide some insight about some of her behaviour.
By the way, her boyfriend has been very supportive through all of this, certainly her most reliable source of strength.

This is a spin-off from a small riddle in her shout-out section from yesterday, 3/12:

And for Veronique from your sister Justine -- Happy Birthday...with a blind? A young mega-star’s mother is turning into somewhat of a Dina Lohan, hitting her up not only for cash but for contacts. Mom has been begging her daughter to set up meetings for her -- industry connections to finance her upcoming projects. Her famous child is becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the struggle, especially since her management team has vehemently against it. Some of her handlers are worried mom’s issues might present challenges for her own career. 

Top suspect: Kristen Stewart

Lainey - Cold Young feet?

New riddle from Lainey Tuesday 2/26...

Cold Young Feet?

At a pre-Oscar party this weekend...
He’s young, super hot, and engaged. To someone also young, also hot, and arguably more famous, for now. But she wasn’t with him. Which is why he could focus all his attention on someone else -- a beautiful girl made famous by a franchise who is growing out her hair while his fiancée currently prefers it the opposite way.
They were flirting for a long, long time. All he wanted to do was talk to her. And laugh with her. And it was just the two of them until almost the end of the night. They were close to the last ones to leave. Am told “he seemed waayyyy into her”, so much so that if “(his fiancée) was there, she would not have been happy about it. But he probably wouldn’t have been like that if she was there anyway”.
Better that they figure this out now though and not after the wedding. They say it’ll be a long engagement. If this is how it’s going down though, the engagement might be longer than the marriage. They’re just so young.
PS. NOT January Jones.

Top suspects: Liam Hemsworth, Emma Watson (fiance Miley Cyrus)


Update 3/5 - Lainey has revealed this riddle here, and here, and we were correct.

Lainey - Exes and Wives

And another Lainey riddle from yesterday - Last but not least, here's #3 out of 3 from Dec 31:

Exes and Wives

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...
Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.
While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.

Top suspects: 
Comeback Kid - Ben Affleck
Golden - Gwyneth Paltrow
Pigtails -  Britney Spears
The PM - Jennifer Garner
Curvier Ex - Jennifer Lopez

Lainey - He wants, she doesn't

Catching up on yesterday's Lainey riddles - Here is 2 out of 3 from Dec 31:

He wants, she doesn't

The assumption: that in any discussion about marriage and babies, she’s the one who wants it and would have his immediately if only he’d ask. But he’s the one who wants, or at least is leaning more towards having kids, than she is. HE is the one who wants to start a family with HER. She’s resistant because of concerns about her past health, worried about what that would mean for both her, and her future children. He’s not pressing but they’ve been seeing specialists together, looking into different options, hoping to perhaps be parents within two years, even though no one seems to (want to) believe they can make it that long.

update- Lainey has revealed this to be Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes.

Lainey - 2 days and 20 years

1 of 3 Lainey riddles from Dec 31:

2 Days and 20 Years

She’s married and they have a child. And these days she’s much more visible -- all over -- than he is. There have been rumours, since they seem to be apart so often, that their relationship has been unstable. Though they’ve recently been seen together, and appear to be happy, he might not feel so secure if he were to find out who she’s sleeping with behind his back, and so indiscriminately.

My sources confirm that there was a boy, a very young, very famous, pop boy with his own fragile love situation who she f-cked for sh-ts and giggles. Just 2 nights later, it was another very famous former pop boy (of sorts) 20 years older who, obviously, specifically targets her small demographic. One night only. Those would be her more famous indiscretions. But they say she’s been cheating all over the place and all the time.

Top suspects: Miranda Kerr, Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio

Timberbiel & Homeless

It's been a while, readers!  We are alive.  On Tuesday Lainey posted this blind riddle.  Then on Wednesday she revealed it to be about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.  Here they are.  Pretty low class if you ask me.  What is the point of picking on people who are poor?  To show off that you have millions?  Whatever.

The Worst Wedding Gift Ever - October 23, 2012

This is a blind riddle.
When Duana got married in July we all got together to surprise her and produce a video of us, her friends, re-enacting her favourite scene from Sister Act 2. When this celebrity couple got married, a few members of their friends and family produced a video too, intending to play it at the wedding. They took to the streets, interviewing homeless people and various other citizens who can barely afford pasta let alone a vacation, to express how sorry they were not to be able to make it to the wedding and offer their well wishes.
This was supposed to be... funny?
Again, let’s stress that the two famous people involved here did not conceive of this idea. And I don’t know yet if it was actually broadcast at the event. Hopefully their family and friends realised it was a dick move at best, and profoundly offensive and disgusting overall. Hopefully they realised they were being assholes, walking around making fun of those who are suffering and hungry. Hopefully they buried it and made a contribution for good, in honour of the happy couple, instead of using the homeless to entertain, while everyone else sipped champagne and ate olives. Hopefully.
Because who needs friends like that? Who needs family like that? Do you believe that the people you spend time with you reflect who you are? And if so, what does that say about these two stars?

This is not about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

Then here is Lainey's update:

Justin Timberlake's Homeless Wedding Gift - October 24, 2012

It’s Pippy Day on LaineyGossip.com! Just what he wanted!
I posted a blind riddle yesterday -- click here if you missed it. Gawker has the video. The video is exactly how I described it. Homeless people taped AS A JOKE wishing Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel a happy wedding...you know, because they couldn’t make it.
The video was produced by Justin Huchel who is also close to Rachael Yarbrough who is Pippy’s cousin and apparently his personal assistant.
ALL CLASS, motherf-ckers. That is ALL CLASS.
I noted in the blind that I wasn’t sure if the video ended up getting played at the wedding.
Gawker confirms that it was.
They laughed at a disadvantaged segment of society to celebrate their marriage.
HILARIOUS!!!
Isn’t it SO FUNNY to see people struggling and without teeth and probably smelly and definitely hungry presented as the butt of the joke?
Don’t you want to toast to that?
Of course Huchel is now trying to save JT’s ass. His lawyer sent a letter to Gawker threatening a lawsuit and clarifying that:
"Mr. Huchel made [the] video to be used and exhibited privately at Justin Timberlake's wedding as a private joke without Mr. Timberlake's knowledge."
I’m willing to believe that JT had no idea about the video. But I’m not sure he would have been offended by the video -- which is the ONLY APPROPRIATE reaction. And here’s the thing ...
Wouldn’t your friend and YOUR COUSIN who also works for you know you well enough not to show something so disgusting if you wouldn’t appreciate it? Is Justin Huchel, one of JT’s closest confidantes, so off base about his boy that he totally miscalculated on his own? Or... did Justin Huchel know exactly what to do to amuse his friend?
What a pleasant way to kick off a marriage, non?
By sh-tting on homeless people, kicking down those less fortunate, as you jump up and down on your bride’s head on the cover of a magazine during your SIX MILLION DOLLAR wedding.
Congratulations!
Click here to watch the video -- over 8 minutes of entertainment at the expense of the poor.

As I said, just pointless and lame!  Which is typical of Justin T.  Let's move on and stop talking about them now, okay?

Lainey- One more couple to mourn

One more couple to mourn - 8/29/12

Nothing to laugh about here -- this one we will all be sad about. All of us. Because it’s almost over for them. After rising together and stabilising together and conveniently finding a home together, where you’d think work would be so much easier, and having the babies too, they’re close to formally ending it, and there may be an announcement soon...which, well, if you look at him it doesn’t seem to have affected him physically. Everyone says he really cares about his appearance these days, more than ever, and is looking hotter than ever. Or, as one person put it, “hot all of a sudden”. Emotionally too he hasn’t let on that there’s anything wrong. For what it’s worth, I’m told there was no third party involvement. Perhaps that means it’s amicable, just the end of their story. Perhaps we’ll be more choked about it than they are. As I drench my waffles in more maple syrup.

Revealed to be: Will Arnett and Amy Poehler

Enquirer - 8.22.12

From the National Enquirer Aug 22nd-

Which one time blonde A-list hottie has MORE than “exhaustion” issues? Plus:  who’s the mistress for the prosecution who’s NOW turning tricks in Bangkok?
THIS 50-something former A-lister has been partying way too much, dating much younger guys and canceling gigs at the last minute – and now her team is so concerned that they’re making a list of rehab facilities for her to check out. The blonde movie star has been very vocal about her willingness to fire anyone who suggests she has a problem, but she’s finally agreed to get some help for her “exhaustion” issues.

WHICH TV actress has secretly broken up with her hunky sitcom co-star – she never owned up to the romance publicly – and is going through a massive midlife crisis? The rail-thin single mom doesn’t think she can keep a good man, so she’s actually contemplating taking back her wacky ex!

WHICH early ’90s badboy reality star, who’s now married with children, has found love away from his manipulative and cheating wife...with another MAN? The hard-partying personality, whose cast mates once referred to as “homophobic,” is this close to coming out as gay! Who is he?

THIS former famous mistress, who helped send her ex-lover to jail for murdering his wife by testifying for the prosecution at his trial, is now turning tricks for money in Thailand! She’s so broke that she’s telling friends she had to turn to the world’s oldest profession just to make ends meet.
WHICH closeted TV chef is carrying on a down-low romance with an openly gay actor/comedian from a popular sketch comedy show? The handsome cook refuses to come out of the closet – he has a gorgeous girlfriend – but his gay secret is about to explode because his new lover is yapping all over town about his celebrity boyfriend!

Top suspects:

Lainey - Who Did Your Eyes?

Yeah, this is way late.  Sorry!  From Lainey August 10 -

Who Did Your Eyes?

One of the best pieces of gossip I’ve heard lately. I wish I could have watched it go down. Wait, but now I’ve built it up too much. So I’ll pull it back first: this does not involve sex or cheating or secret gays or garden vegetables which means some of you may find it boring. But it does involve two celebrated actors, super powerful, super respected, neither of whom seem to be particularly vain physically beyond staying trim.
A few months ago, one wrote the other asking for some advice:
Actor A: I was just wondering...who did your eyes?
Actor B: I don’t know, I’ve never had my eyes done.
Actor A: Yeah, ok, sure. Merry Christmas.
And then they spent the rest of the season sh-t talking each other while smiling down the carpets at all the events during the season because one suspects the other of holding out on him for a good surgeon. In Hollywood, you’re never too mature to be pretty...and petty!

Top suspects:
Actor A:
Actor B: