Blind Items Exposed

Blind Vice! Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

2012-01-27T23:19:00.004-05:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

Meet Soheila Stuff-It. She probably won't remember meeting you, but what difference does it really make?
‘Cause that's the way Soheila likes it—drugged up halfway to Brigadoon to escape the burdens of being the downtrodden diva that she is. And when she's not partaking in a dabble of this or a hit of that, you'll likely find her drowning at the bottom of a bottle.
It's all terribly, terribly sad. Which is why Ms. Stuff-It's peeps are desperate to get the star into treatment stat. To which the always stubborn Soheila says:
Hell, no!
See, Soheila hasn't exactly had an easy go of it lately (despite the fact that she has the most gorgeous hair!).
But instead of trying to get better or, ya know, even just talking about her issues, S2 prefers to handle things her own way. And a trip to rehab is so not on her To Do list anytime soon. Or ever, if Soheila has anything to say about it.
Which, actually, she does.
See, Ms. Stuff-It isn't a pushover. In fact, she's made a name for herself in this town by being a tough chick who doesn't back down.
Which is why we're so sad to see her destroying herself…again.
That's the other terribly, horribly sad thing about all this. This isn't the first time Soheila has spiraled. It's all happened before and even though she slapped a smile back on her face and chitchatted about how fab she was feeling, underneath Soheila was the same damaged, messed up broad she was before.
To which we say: Hey, Soheila, relapse happens. Heck, it's practically expected. But it's time you give up your pride—and partying—and straighten yourself out.
We have far more faith in you than, say, Morgan Mayhem or Mimi Kitten. And we just hate seeing you be so blasé about your life, babe.
Oh, and if you stop hooking up with bisexual men, Soheila, that too just might lead you on the way to recovery, just a suggestion!
AND IT AIN'T: Angelina Jolie, Kim Richards, Mischa Barton

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Chuck Finger Dingle Returns...

2012-01-22T09:54:00.002-05:00

New BV from Ted Friday Jan 20 -

Blind Vice: Sexual Carnivore Charlotte Switches Teams for a Great Movie Role!

We've already all fallen in love with Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle and her sexually impressive resume of bedding Hollywood's power gals. This particular beauty seems to thrive and simply glow inside the more women she beds, but guess what?
Chuck's also got a hot career going, which actually means more to her than her ambitious (and athletic) love life, so Charlotte just added something very different to her woman-eating Hollywood climb:
A man.
Yep, that's right! And, of course, not just any man, but a very, very powerful and über-talented man!
One who just happens to be directing Charly in her latest project. But that's not all.
Wanna know what's really weird about this one? No, not that Chuck has so seamlessly switched from women to men just for the sake of a great role (trust us, lots of celebs have made that switch in this town for far less than a spectacular role), but the fact that Chuck's new man has a woman who's totally OK with this arrangement!
Uh, are we watching a real-life episode of Sex and the City, only with Chucky's lover's other half doing the same thing Samantha would?
Apparently.
Either that or the director's woman knows full well that Charly's first preference is for the ladies, and she'll be bored diddling the director dude soon enough.
Only problem is, the way Charly's hanging all over her lover in public (not to mention in private), that sexual fade-out doesn't appear to be occurring anytime soon.
AND IT AIN'T: Jennifer Lawrence, Naya Rivera, Dakota Fanning

Please use the label below to go to our post on the previous CFD BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Rooney Mara

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

2012-01-14T14:10:00.003-05:00

New from Ted yesterday, January 13 -

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

Isn't it funny when somebody like Strawberry Snort 'Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check. Cool digs? Beyond-average talent? Check. Back-stabbing besties? Check! But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!
But, this Vice isn't about Strawberry, it's about a dude who never, ever wants to be in Strawberry's lovelorn position: Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
And even though Topher's determined to not get caught in love again (he's had a couple of bad breakups), he's not at all averse to getting caught in lust:
As we first told you,Topher's into the anonymous sex thing. And whereas we used to think it was just because Mr. Hairy-Tuchus, like many men in Hollywood, is just a plain ol' closeted actor, well, that's not the only reason he likes to get it on with other guys on the down low.
"He's just done with love, that's all. It's not so much his career, which is what everyone thinks," says a pal who knows Topher both personally, and professionally.
Whoa. So Topher's not so designing in the love department as much as we first thought? Amazing!
Because Topher sure has been giving us all a run for his red-carpet money lately with various sexy ladies by his side—and then some.
"No, no, no," added our Topher source. "He's just horny. And permanently non-committed. It's really that simple. The chicks are a cover for his [sex], not so much his career, get it?"
Do we ever. And here we thought Hairy-Tuchus was some kind of grand, scheming Toothy Tile, who knew!
Just remember, Toph, play safe!
And It Ain't: Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling

Please refer to the link below for our posts on the previous Topher Hairy Tuchus BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

(also see the post on the Strawberry SnortEm BV)

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

2012-01-06T23:45:00.003-05:00

Happy new year! We are getting caught up on the first week of the new year. So much gossip already - Divorces, engagements, and pregnancies! We'll be covering all of it... let's start with Justin Timberlake shall we? Here's Ted's latest Blind Vice, from today in Awful Truth.

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he's known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry's life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he's been a bit down, as of late.
Pray tell, why?
Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud's best pals know that Jerry's true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.
Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!
Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.
And the mama's boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he's on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.
And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.
Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.
And It Ain't: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous JRB and CJ BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: still Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

(older ex-girlfriend: NOT Britney Spears. Top suspect = Cameron Diaz)

Blind Vice! Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!

2011-12-23T15:25:00.002-05:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!

You'd think that buckets of moolah, tons of adoring fans and a hot chick at your side would be enough.
Not so for Lesley Grotto, one of those swoon-worthy rock star types with the slick moves and killer abs. See, Les has all of that (including a knockout gal most dudes would kill to canoodle with) but—surprise! surprise!—he wants more, more, more.
Especially when it comes to chicks. ‘Cause let's be honest...
Lesley is a straight up dawg!
You wouldn't know it though because when he's around his "special" lady (especially when there are cameras around) Lesley is the image of a doting boyfriend—ya know, lovey dovey kisses and all the "awwww"-inducing crapola.
But when she's out of sight, she's definitely out of mind too.
Which leaves Lesley to do what he does best: sweet talking the panties off of any (and every) chick in sight.
"He's a total d-bag," one of the pretty party gals who attended one of the many booze-soaked event that Grotto frequents bitched to us. "He's all over chicks at these parties and flirts with everyone."
Continues our blabbermouth babe: "But as soon as he's with his woman he's a whole different man, all committed and monogamous."
Sounds smarmy. Well, actually, that totally sounds like half the other dudes in Tinseltown.
Here's the real Q though: If his lady found out would be really even care? We kinda think not.
AND IT AIN'T: Jason Mraz, Kanye West, Bruno Mars

Top suspect: Adam Levine

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

2011-12-16T22:22:00.007-05:00

New BV from Ted today. Schlong returns...

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

Some dudes like Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile, we really feel for. These are movie stars who truly do only like other guys, even though they also (just as much) want to be renowned film actors. So they play the game (well, Toothy does).
But then there's mischievous bisexual King Schlong, who can take boys—or go without them.
So, what's King's current sexual bent? And could the dog-eat-dog awards season have something to do with King's choice?
Girls, girls, girls and yes, yes, yes.
You see, truth be known, King's always fooled around with both sexes (as recently as this year, too!). But it's really not what drives King ultimately romantically—and certainly not come the career-defining months from Emmys to Oscars.
"That boy will no sooner go around boys when these awards are still out than Alec Baldwin will apologize to American Airlines," said one of King's myriad Biz colleagues, who knows full well that Schlong has long been a free spirit and doesn't want to be tied down to either sex, in any capacity.
But this maverick sensibility, we're told, is wholly heterosexually infused, at this time of the year because what King wants more than domestic happiness is...big ol' trophy-time recognition. "Like, bad," is how it was put to us.
Jeez. Kinda sounds like that old stereotype people are always applying to women only in this town, like, she slept her way to the top.
Apparently, King's desperately trying it out, too.
But will it work?
And It Ain't: Alex Pettyfer, Kellan Lutz, Alec Baldwin

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous King Schlong BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Leo.

Blind Vice! Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

2011-12-15T07:16:00.003-05:00

New from Ted Monday Dec 12 -

Blind Vice! Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

You all remember Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher, right?
She was the chick who couldn't quite keep her hands to herself despite the fact that she has an oh-so-loving (and pretty damn hunky) guy at home.
Well, Car has had a change of heart. And it all has to do with her best gal-pal, Carmelita Salami-Climber.
Let's back up a bit: Remember how Carm's close friends were worried that her dude wasn't up to snuff?
Well they were right and he hit the road, leaving Carmelita to nurse her broken heart (trust us, that split is so not worth a Vice in itself).
Here's the thing: While Carol Anne lets her bestie cry on her shoulder, she's secretly scheming how to keep her own relationship together...ya know, so she doesn't end up like her forever alone amigo.
That's right: Carol Anne is getting her s--t together!
And the first plan of action? Get herself knocked up pronto.
Carol Anne has convinced herself that if she can get her man to get her preggo, everything will shape up in their sometimes rocky relaysh. As in, she'll stop parting and then they'll stop fighting.
How terribly old fashioned of her, no?!
And It Ain't: Naya Rivera, Jennifer Aniston, Blake Lively

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous C.A.S.S. BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Khloe Kardashian-Odom

Lainey - Cash Only

2011-12-15T07:02:00.002-05:00

New from Lainey yesterday Dec 14 -

Cash Only

SO easy.

Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of sh-t is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.

Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only?

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

2011-12-11T11:29:00.004-05:00

New BV from Ted on Fri Dec 9. A newcomer! -

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

Brucey Huskers is a gorgeous star. Brucey's hot. Brucey has a super-bitchin', manly body. Brucey hangs with other equally luscious-lookin' Tinseltown (and Blind Vice star) celebrities, who he's gotten mucho intimate with.
So, why is Brucey having trouble getting some lovin' lately?
Oh, wait. That rumor that he's not getting any since his big Hollywood split turns out to be...
Just that, a rumor!
"Don't you realize that this explains everything a little bit more clearly?" said one of the dudes who hangs thisclose alongside the humpy celebrity, who's gone back to getting it on with guys (something he did before his latest sexy starlet romance), since his latest publicized romance went sour.
"Ever stop to think why these 'relationships' of his don't last," asked Brucey's equally handsome bud, rhetorically. "Only a guy who's into guys would go out with the women this guy's gone out with," bitched the Huskers hanger-on.
Now, if you're able to follow the logic here, it pretty much makes sense: Brucey hooks up with Hollywood gals who are gorgeous but who he knows he has zilcho in common with. Everyone's shocked when it doesn't work out, as both parties are almost always super hot! Leaving the public breathless and waiting for the next hetero hook-up.
So, what gives?
Just that Brucey wants to keep getting in on with the guys even though he tells even himself it's the chickers he's really wanting.
Uh, so not the case.
But, Brucey will be the last to know this.
AND IT AIN'T: Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen

Update 12/17/11 - Ted has eliminated Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Ryan Gosling, Derek Jeter

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

2011-12-03T16:01:00.002-05:00

New BV from Ted Friday...

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

Poor, poor Smokey Shooter. First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits, oh, no!
They were such a cute couple. But you'll either be really sad or really happy to hear Smokey's wasted no time in moving on from his ex lady-love. Only problem being his new love interests all seem to have the same two complaints about the good-lookin' actor with a fair amount of movie cred:
Actually, make that one and a half complaints, because some gals aren't so bothered by one of this dude's, uh, problems, as it were. Namely, that he's just too big. And we're not talkin' just the guy's ego, honeys.
Add to that sometime painful attribute the fact that Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women.
Result? Some gals pretend not to notice. Others scold Smokey with mock disbelief. Few are so upset they don't give Smokey another go. In fact, make that all.
Which is probably why Smokey's never seemed to really care about giving his women warning, once he finds himself on the verge of breaking wind.
OK, I understand why a lotta gals put up with crap like not lifting the toilet seat, but, why more babes don't give this babe grief for acting like he's in a Jim Carrey movie is beyond me.
Does size really matter that much?
And It Ain't: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio

Please use the label below to see our post on the previous Smokey Shooter BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashton Kutcher (however he is also a suspect for another BV, see label)

Page Six - Just Asking

2011-11-30T13:48:00.002-05:00

From NY Post Nov 28 -

Which supposedly sober rock star was spotted at a high-end gala schmoozing the tables and surreptitiously swilling all the other guests’ wine? . . .
Which mogul was shaking with rage at his assistant when the peon took too long to run into Shake Shack to get him a burger while the boss man waited in his Town Car? . . .
Which younger brother of an infamous socialite appears in a hardcore gay sex tape that’s making the rounds in the male modeling world?

Blind Vice! Starlet Prefers Locking Lips With Ladies Over A-List Dudes

2011-11-25T20:11:00.005-05:00

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Starlet Prefers Locking Lips With Ladies Over A-List Dudes

Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle is young, über-gorge and has H'wood by the family jewels (metaphorically speakin', at least).
See, Chuck is still relatively fresh to the scene but she's managed to nab some of the splashiest flicks served up by the biggest studios and has certainly caught the eye of Tinseltown—and all the eligible bachelors in it too.
But all that steamy hetero chemistry Chuck has onscreen stays strictly in celluloid, ‘cause Chuck has a taste for...
The ladies, of course.
Chuck has sparked her fair share of rumored romances with T-town's hottest fellas (more than a fair share of which are also members of the Blind Vice Hall of Fame), but when it comes down to whose bed she's hopping in and out of, Charlotte prefers her lovers strictly chick.
Which isn't to say Chuck gets lonely during those long months on location.
Oh no, Chuck—with her fashionista figure and cheekbones to kill for—has plenty of ladies lustin' after her as well and makes sure to pluck only the hottest babe from the crowd to keep her, well, "entertained."
So while the tabloids plaster their covers with snapshots of Chuck and her ab-tastic male costars, the real juicy scandal is going on behind the scene where CF-D is getting hot and heavy with one lucky gal or another.
And her usual same-sex selection? Women with power—ya know, like directors or producers or any broad who's calling the shots.
How friggin' hot is that? Keep it up, Chuck, ‘cause even if you don't win an Oscar, you're certainly one of our new fave Vicers.
AND IT AIN'T: Ashley Greene, Lily Collins, Lea Michele

Eliminated as of 1/22/12: Ashley Greene, Lily Collins, Lea Michele, Amber Heard, Scarlett Johansson, Riley Keough, none of the Glee gals, Anna Kendrick, Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Lawrence, Naya Rivera, Dakota Fanning

Top suspect: Rooney Mara

Lainey - They're creeping everyone out

2011-11-25T20:08:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Americans! We are getting caught up with gossip. Here is a new Lainey blind riddle, written by her co-blogger Sarah On November 23 -

They're creeping everyone out

This director doesn’t have a reputation for engaging in tomfoolery on his sets, and this starlet has no reputation at all, yet they’ve been raising eyebrows with their vaguely off-putting relationship, which is inching into “professionally inappropriate” territory. Their weird fascination with one another is making some folks wonder if they could become a liability while promoting their film. She’s infatuated but he’s playing Pygmalion, a scenario that always ends messily. Someone should warn her, bless her little heart.

Top suspect:

IMDB Mystery Woman

2011-11-19T09:41:00.000-05:00

I was going to make a post about this when I read the news article a few weeks ago. Makes a mini blind item. However, I just thought it was plain boring. Now this week, Ted made a post about it. So, if anyone wants to discuss this, here you go. Here is Ted's post ... discuss away!

Help Us Crack the Code: Who's the IMDB Mystery Woman?

You know we live to dish about anything mysterious here at the A.T.
So, when we got the scoop on the IMDb mystery woman, we had to start a little guessing game of our own.
Even though Amazon.com thinks they know whodunit, we think you Awful readers are the best detectives of all.
Here's what we do know:
The woman's original suit reveals she's an Asian woman, residing in Texas, who's around 40 years old.
We also know the woman claims she lost out on loads of roles after the site revealed her true age, so we're searching for a much younger-lookin' gal who's not at the top of her Tinsel Town game. Now onto the guessing...
Could it be Lucy Liu? Girl's career did peak after her role in Charlie's Angels, and she does look much younger than her real age, 43. But the gal has had a steady flow of jobs regardless of her birth date, so it seems unlikely she would resort to a lawsuit.
Or, what about Maggie Q? For starters, she's gorgeous, and her current IMDb profile reveals she's 32 years old. Come to think of it, a pretty face like that would be devastated if the world knew she was really pushing 40. Then again, she's got a solid gig as Nikita, so maybe she is 32, after all.
But maybe, Kelly Hu is a better guess? The one-time Miss Teen USA has been working in H'wood forever, but no doubt, she hasn't starred in a hottie role for some time. Plus, her age is listed as 43, and according to the mystery woman, that would make her, say, totally expired in Hollywood?
But if Kelly hasn't hit her expiration date, perhaps we should look at Sandra Oh? Girl's age is listed at 40 years old, but she doesn't seem the type to buy into the exhausting and sadly ridiculous (but true) H'wood ageism thing. On the other hand, maybe she's worried about a gig, post-Grey's Anatomy?
Or perhaps, this mystery woman has us all fooled and she's got just one measly 1988 movie-of-the week to her credit and she just started the whole friggin' thing for publicity?
Sound off, Awful readers, and let us know who you think the mystery woman is!

Top guess:

Blind Vice: Gay Star's Clueless Beard Walks In On a Shocker!

2011-11-18T20:52:00.004-05:00

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Gay Star's Clueless Beard Walks In On a Shocker!

People have a right to live their lives, let's be clear about that. And that's why we do not out gay stars at AT, never have, never will.
But when matinee idols like Toothy Tile and Fey Oil-Tush choose to involve other, non-gay folks in their clandestine lives, it changes the rules.
For instance, Crescent Kumquat's latest beard was beginning to wonder why the heck the handsome star never laid a finger on her in private. Well, she just found out the reason the hard way:

When the gorgeous, tall stunner Crescent had been parading around to parties just happened to hop over to her man's place to surprise him (and she found that he was not only home, but, the place was pretty open). Only it was she who got the shock when she walked in on Crescent having sex with a dude!
And not just a little petting or oral action, either, babes, Crescent was right in the middle of getting done to him what the gorgeous, real-blonde chica had wished he would do to her!
Now, we gotta say we're starting to wonder just how much dope Crescent's doing these days, because not even outlandish sex Vice Super-stars like Toothy and Crotch Uh-Lastic take this many chances—you know, like leaving the house wide open while getting it on with a guy inside.
But then who'd have thunk the gf would come over for a surprise? Well, all the more reason to actually give these beards a little lovin' once in awhile, boys. Ya know, so they're not so damn horny!
But the discarded chica does get the last laugh, we must note. Won't be getting that nasty social disease Mr. Kumquat's known to have, whew!
Wonder if that latest blondie CC's been out with will be as lucky?
AND IT AIN'T: Tom Sturridge, Charlie Sheen, Robert Pattinson

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the many previous Crescent Kumquat BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect - still Chace Crawford

Blind Vice: Jackie Bouffant Cuts It So Close!

2011-11-13T08:28:00.003-05:00

And this one was new from Ted on Friday Nov 11 -

Blind Vice: Jackie Bouffant Cuts It So Close!

Jackie Bouffant, still young, still beautiful, seems to have already run the Hollywood gamut in his brief career: boys, drugs, not to mention the requisite "beard." As in a red-carpet girlfriend he loves to trot out for the paparazzi and mainstream press.
But that was so yesterday.
Today, Jackie's got some totally homo cajones on him!
Just like Toothy Tile once sported the young man he adored, it looks like Jackie's showing off his, too! Hot!
At a recent very glitzy Hollywood event, Jackie was likewise very obvious. And trust us, Jackie's not a silly, stupid boy like Parrish Maguire, who doesn't always triple-check where he hooks up.
So what happened?
There Jackie was, A-list everybody all around him, hitting the top of the press line with his new boyfriend in tow. Only Mr. B. stopped just short of walking the carpet with cutie-pie BF, who has the most adorable curly coif and darling rosy cheeks.
Jackie, instead, had his dude walk around the carpet. And then guess what the TV and movie star did, once he finished walking the press line? He picked his boyfriend up at the end! It was totally like they were pulling some kind of playground game, too cute!
Only it was hardly grade-school stuff, once the newbie couple rejoined inside the party: With all the giggling and rubbing up against each other they were doing, who needed those outdoor heat lamps?
Funny thing, whenever an in-house photog tried to get Jackie and his man, the BF split faster than Brett Ratner chomps shrimp cocktail.
Smart man, he'll be by Jackie's side for years (or months) to come, we predict.
And It Ain't: Taylor Lautner, Chace Crawford, Robert Pattinson

Please refer to the label below for a link to the our posts on the previous Jackie B BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Zac Efron

Blind Vice: Sugar-Rod O'Keefe Chooses an Anti-Gay Director... on Purpose

2011-11-13T08:25:00.002-05:00

Just getting caught up for the entire week... bear with us! This BV was from Tuesday Nov 8, from Awful Truth...

Blind Vice: Sugar-Rod O'Keefe Chooses an Anti-Gay Director... on Purpose

Sugar-Rod O'Keefe is nothing new in Hollywood. He's a star who makes a lot of money—and he loves spending it on hookers, both male and female. If you only knew how common this story is Tinseltown!
But something even less known than Sugar-Rod's sexual preference is how anti-gay most of O'Keefe's professional colleagues are, something Sugar not only doesn't mind but thrives on:
"He thinks it makes him less of a target for people thinking he's gay," said a longtime male hooker who's been paid by O'Keefe for years, "if he hangs out with guys who are telling homophobic jokes."
Hmmm. Guess this type of sexuality subterfuge makes guys who simply have beards for girlfriends look like down-right simpletons!
"He really does think this helps keeps the heat off him," added the guy prostitute, who added that Sugar-Rod indeed has a major thing for highly orchestrated sex, i.e., lots of "role playing."
So, guess it makes sense Mr. O'Keefe (who's been a top box-office draw at various points in his career) also likes to orchestrate his sexual politics in real life!
Which makes us wonder if those tacky gay jokes O'Keefe's director has been known to make aren't also to help get the gay-focus of his star?
You know, in a totally effed up Hollywood kind of way.
And It Ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Bi Guy Grabs Slutty Beard to Protect A-List Boyfriend

2011-11-05T12:59:00.005-04:00

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Bi Guy Grabs Slutty Beard to Protect A-List Boyfriend

We knew something didn't make sense!
When the deliciously sexy (and untraditional) movie star Nevis Devine started hanging out less with his on/off boyfriend, the almost-as-handsome Barrington Bang-Me, we thought it was just the natural ebb of Nevis' libido.
He's more into girls than guys, after all.
But then we discovered the downtime between the guys was far more to do with Barrington's master plot! Oh, what a tangled web these bisexual boys can weave!
Not that long ago, Barrington hooked up with a pretty visible gal. This was right around the time people were started to wonder what the hell's going on with the two guys, anyway.
But, no more! Bare's new babe (who's been around almost as much as Nevis has, hmm...) took care of those rumors.
However—surprise, surprise—things are rotten between Barrington and the beard.
But, what really is a surprise is the fact that we just discovered: Mr. Bang-Me only took up with said honey because he didn't want to endanger Nevis's career, he didn't give a you-know-what about his own reputation.
Oh, my.
Is this love?
And It Ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Hugh Grant, Alexander Skarsgård

Please see the label below for a link to the previous Nevis and Barrington BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated as Nevis.

Top suspects:
Nevis Devine = Robert Pattinson
Barrington Bang-Me = Tom Sturridge
slutty beard = Sienna Miller

Blind Vice: Which TV Costars Secretly Hate Each Other?

2011-10-29T12:26:00.002-04:00

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Which TV Costars Secretly Hate Each Other?

Fake à la Ferocity has nothing on wholesome TV and movie actress Trixie Twinkle-Twat, whose new series, Family Values, was renewed recently.
And, trust us, that's saying a whole helluva backstabbing lot.
Trixie's current crime?
Telling her bosses—and, consequently, the world—that she not only adores her famous costar, Vander Van Der Butt, but she wouldn't considering doing anything other than their show, professionally speaking.
When the truth is Trixie, who's got a reputation for sending homemade cookies to people she loathes, will not even look Vander in the eye when they're alone, much less speak to him. She detests him, curses him ever opportunity she can—and the feeling is mutual.
Trix just faked liking him because she knew it would get her a big family boob-tube job.
And it gets even more ironic! Not only did execs approve Trixie and Vander's current cozy show based on the fact they were (supposedly) real-life friends, but also because Ms. Twinkle-Twit's made an entire career out of folks thinking she'd prefer to bake cookies instead of bitch people out like the truck driver she is at heart.
AND IT AIN'T: Nancy Travis and Tim Allen, Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell, Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn

Top suspects: Melissa Joan Hart & Joey Lawrence, or Christina Applegate & Will Arnett

Lainey: Wife Confronts Colleague

2011-10-25T20:53:00.004-04:00

New riddle from Lainey -

Wife Confronts Colleague
A popular married television personality who’s also a chronic cheater had an affair a few years ago with a woman (also married with kids) who’s now become his colleague. The colleague ran into his wife recently. The wife decided they would have a little conversation. There were no pleasantries. The wife pretty much opened with - who did you have to f-ck to get this new position? How many people have you f-cked to get to where you are now? The colleague, obviously mortified, as they’re actually in a place crawling with parents and children, frequented by their own children, tried to be civil, tried to downplay the hostilities. No, the wife wasn’t interested in having a dignified discussion in public. She kept up her line of questioning about the colleague’s career mobility with pointed questions about how much time she’d spent on her back to get to where she is. The badgering continued, the wife was relentless, until the colleague rushed away. The wife is now boasting about the incident to all the ladies in the circle and beyond, convinced that the reason the colleague is getting so much play on the network these days is because she’s willing to give up so much play for the executives, the way she gave it up for her husband.

This isn’t the first time the wife has behaved aggressively. Her husband has pleaded with her to chill out when they’re in public as it could affect his reputation, like his constant dicking isn’t the major contributor to that. Still, her target right now is his colleague and the colleague’s reputation and she seems to be willing, happily willing, to share with anyone who asks how this colleague is earning all her jobs ...though I wonder if all that casting couching is enough since, you know, Julia Roberts didn’t seem to be aware.

Top suspects:
colleague: Natalie Morales
cheating husband: Matt Lauer, Brian Williams, Jerry Seinfeld

Blind Vice Reveal - Kirkland Dogmatic & Teddy Big Treat

2011-10-22T09:25:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday Oct 18 Ted did a reveal... one that we already figured out, of course! Read on...

Blind Vice Revealed! Kirkland Dogmatic is...

It isn't a crime to be gay and in love, so why should we keep it a secret? Which is why we're tres tickled to reveal one of our fave lovey dovey Vicers: Kirkland Dogmatic. Even tho his tale isn't exactly debauched, we're sure you remember Kirk, right?
He's one of the successful stars of that futuristic franchise Invasion From Planet OctopusTeddy Big-Treat. But since Kirk is ready to bust out of the closet, we might as well just tell you... and also happens to have a hunky out and proud BF on the side,
It's Zachary Quinto. Duh.
Most of the savvier Vice guessers were able to peg Star Trek star Zach from the start, and we say kudos to you. The dude was never too far in the closet (i.e. he never played the beard game) but it was still nice to hear him finally—and officially—come out this weekend.
So who's his knight in rainbow armor?
Well if you didn't get it from the massive hint we gave you in the original Vice, then you deserve to have your Awful Truth membership card revoked. We tipped you off that Teddy was super tight with Ms. Lea Michele. Ya know, like BFF tight.
Yep, Teddy is none other than Glee guy Jonathan Groff. But you figured that out yourself, yes?
The twosome have been spotted on the town in the past and were even rumored to have gone on a few double dates with Lea and her now ex-boyfriend. So now that Zach is officially out and proud, will we see some PDA between the two.
Not so fast.
'Cause tho we reached out for comment from both boys' reps and have yet to hear back from either, we hear from other sources that as formerly tight as these two were, they're no longer quite as tight as they used to be. Tell us it ain't so!
Oh well, guess we'll just wait to see who ~~Kirkland~~ Zach links up with next...if we're forced to.

Thanks for the confirmation Ted! Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous post on Kirkland and Teddy.

Kirkland Dogmatic = Zachary Quinto

Teddy Big-Treat = Jonathan Groff

Blind Vice! Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

2011-10-22T08:20:00.004-04:00

New from Ted Friday Oct 21 -

Blind Vice! Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

I live for a gal who's survived in the movies—shown she has what it takes to star in many of them, some even successful—and then totally reinvents herself afterwards.
That's right, for a second career as a TV star! Of course, where else is there for movie chicks who age, but, that's beside the point.

Which is that Barbie Sinatra started reinventing herself long before she dipped into TV fare by...
Totally changing her appearance. We mean totally.
Whereas many folks guessed about Barbie's nips here and tucks there, we're here to tell you it was all due to nose-candy, baby!
That's right, Barbie, who got famous with an entirely different figure than the one she possesses now, decided she wanted what the rest of the chicas had in Hollywood, i.e., lots more acting opportunities. And Barbie's more natural appearance she got famous with just wasn't cutting it enough.
The drugged-out Pygmalion stuff worked pretty well for awhile, too.
But, just like all addictions, Barbie's coke habit eventually got the better of her and that primo TV gig she landed as a result of her new-found frame is about to be cancelled—not in the least because Barbie's coke-fuelled scenes of over-acting. I mean, Barb gives new meaning to the term scenery-chewing, as she also eats her costars alive, too, hysterical stuff!
Only it's not a comedy she's starring in, dearies!
And It Ain't: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange

Eliminated as of 11/26/11: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange, Mary Louise Parker, Whitney Cummings

Top suspect: Christina Ricci from Pan Am

Lainey - Her kids were watching

2011-10-18T23:56:00.002-04:00

New riddle from Lainey today -

Her kids were watching

Film set. Recently. She’s shooting a sex scene. Walking around set in her bra, no shirt on, panties, standard attire, nothing unusual about it...

Except that her children were there that day. They were visiting. And it was no thing, you know? That was her costume. They saw her in his costume while they were there. And then she sat them behind the monitor so that they could see her work and they watched while mom worked with another actor - she rubbed up against him, he returned the rubbing, she made love for pretend, for the movies, to a man that was not the father of her children, in front of her children.

I’m sure over 90% of you are all huffy and tutty about this and have been since the start of the 2nd paragraph. “It’s so inappropriate, it’s so bizarre, these people are sick f-cks”, etc etc etc. Me I’m still trying to decide. Part of me understands the huffing and the tutting. And the other part, well, it’s worth huffing and tutting over in real life, for civilians, because that’s simply not part of that world.

But take Kate Winslet for example - and this is NOT about Kate Winslet - who’s already been naked on screen several times, and her kids go to school with other kids whose parents have seen their mother’s breasts, and you realise, theirs is a totally different reality. And, given that that is the reality, if you are the subject of this riddle, do you prepare your children for it by bringing them with you, by showing them that this is not real, that this is what happens in filmmaking, that this is part of the process, that this is part of what’s considered their craft or their art, or whatever fancy word they’re using for it these days, that this is not dirty, that there’s nothing shady about it, in the hopes of removing or addressing in advance any stigma/embarrassment that might arise later...

Mommy is an Actor and this is what Acting is...

A part of me doesn’t disagree with that either, you know?

Anyway, I look forward to reading your emails.

Top suspect:

Lainey - Action Homewrecker

2011-10-18T23:53:00.000-04:00

This was Lainey's riddle from Monday -

Action Homewrecker

A marriage is over. A one year old baby will now grow up in a broken home. Because the dickhead of a father couldn’t resist the action star. He’s a crew member on her show, no one famous. She is the star of the show. And a major bitch. Was hated before she decided to f-ck up a family. Is even more hated now. Because she decided she had to have him, that’s it, never mind that he’s married and his wife had a baby not too long ago. They’d been carrying on for a while. Then, one day about a month ago, they were fooling around and his wife walked in. She ended it right away. And, well, being that she also works in the industry, she didn’t bother hiding why.

He, of course, thinks he’s in love. She on the other hand is still dealing occasionally with a number of past and current co-stars. This is not the first time she’s taken what she wants when it’s supposed to be unavailable. And every time she leaves a mess behind. I’m told she truly believes there’s a hierarchy in the business. That those who are on camera, as she is, and look the way she does - really, really beautiful - are unquestionably entitled to things, and that those who choose to work in the same field, lower on the food chain, in doing so also implicitly buy into the same ideology. One night, at a Hollywood party, when she was on hiatus, she apparently shared this with several people over dinner, speaking only to the men and not their wives who sat there open-mouthed as this bitch pretty much told them that if she decided to f-ck their husbands, they’d have to accept it as part of the world order. It’s not Scarlett Johansson.

Top suspect:

Blind Vice! Cheating Chubster Lawyers Up!

2011-10-16T08:11:00.004-04:00

New from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice! Cheating Chubster Lawyers Up!

Forget Ashton Kutcher and whatever tabloid allegations have him tweeting mad today.
'Cause we've got a Vice star that we know can't keep it in his pants, much to the dismay of his poor partner and kiddos. Yep, Chubster Hunkster—who's looking less hunkster and far more chubster these days—is back and still sneaking around.

Thing is, he's starting to get nervous. Real nervous:
'Cause one of his chicks on the side is ready to blab.
So Chub did what every good stud worth his star power would do: he lawyered up. And Mr. Hunkster's legal team told that gal if she even breathed in the way of the tabloids, they'd sue her for every penny she's worth.
And trust, these are not the kind of lawyers you wanna mess with.
So the broad did what most other sensible peeps would do: she shut up and disappeared. And Chub can keep on with his cheating ways.
But for how long?
This par-tick chick wasn't the only one whispering about Chubster's inclination towards infidelity. It's only a matter of time before his extramarital bed hopping gets back to his gorgeous honey.
Or worse, the press.
Stupid P.S.: Why do men cheat with not-exactly-knockout stripper types when they've got goddesses at home?
I know, I know, stupid question.
And It Ain't: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum

Please see the label below to read our post on the previous Chubster Hunkster BV, including a list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Liev Schrieber

Lainey - Biohazard

2011-10-16T07:54:00.005-04:00

This was new from Lainey on Friday -

Biohazard

Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.

We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)

Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.

(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)

So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.

This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.

Easy, right?

SO easy.

Top suspect: Paz de le Huerta from Boardwalk Empire

Blind Vice! Spineless Hubby Gets Too Kinky In Bed

2011-10-07T19:36:00.003-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Spineless Hubby Gets Too Kinky In Bed

Remember the overly timid (but good-looking) hubby, Pussy Gabor?
Poor thing never really found the nerve to stand up to his bossy wife, and most folks never thought he would.
Well, that was before Pussy discovered the magical benefits of a marital ménage à trois:
Both Pussy, as well as his wife, Shar-Shar Max, agreed that throwing another girl into the mix was perhaps a good idea at spicing up their ho-hum marriage.
Of course, Shar-Shar and Pussy never stopped to really analyze themselves. If they had, they would have discovered that's where problem lied: They're simply nice, boring people!
But, we digress.
The more these three-ways became a habit, the further and further Pussy and Shar-Shar fell away from a happy union. In fact, the swinging sex scene the attractive couple adopted just happened to be the beginning of the end of their relationship.
Three things: Why do couples (gay and straight) always expect screwing other parties not to effect their marriages? Almost always does—and not in a good way. Remember, somebody always gets kissed a little less in those uneven situations!
Secondly, maybe if they'd had both gals and guys, things would have turned out differently? Eh, probably not.
Lastly, a few of these third parties had recording equipment: huge problem.
And It Ain't: Diane Lane & Josh Brolin, Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith, Michael C. Hall & Jennifer Carpenter

Top suspects: Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore

Please use the label below to read our previous post on the previous Pussy Gabor BV.

Blind Vice! Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

2011-10-01T21:38:00.005-04:00

New from Ted yesterday Sept 30 -

Blind Vice! Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

Uh oh, Parrish Maguire is in hot water.
And we're not talking about a warm Jacuzzi—ya know, the place Parr likes to hook up with older, more experienced men while other partygoers watch (how devilishly naughty is that?).

No, we're talking trouble.
Parrish has a beard problem. As in, he needs one, pronto.
See, Parrish can't seem to find a H'wood chica willing to put up with him long enough to establish some straight cred.
Which means people are starting to talk. And not just in T-town (where Parr's pals have been whispering about his dude-on-dude sextivities since forever)—we're talking popcorn munchin', movie-ticket buying audiences, too.
And Parrish is freaked out, no matter how much PR his peeps put out to cover his homolicious tracks.
So why can't Parrish land a babe willing to stick by his side?
Well, he's a monster. He's got a horrible diva ‘tude that rivals the worst of the worst T-town be-yotches. And word is spreading through the B.A.H. (that'd be the Beard Association of Hollywood) not to link up with him—which is why you'll see him out and about with a bevy of ladies but nothing ever sticks.
Funnily enough, Parrish used to be a real sweetie (back when we had a long-term cutie boyfriend attached at the hip). But that's what happens when you let your head get out of control—and we ain't talking about the one on his shoulders.
And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Justin Timberlake, Joe Manganiello

Please use the link below to read our other posts on the previous Parrish Maguire BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Taylor Lautner

Lainey- How much does she know?

2011-09-27T16:30:00.005-04:00

New from Lainey

How Much Does She Know?

She's not with her boyfriend anymore and we're to believe it ended amicably and for her sake, I hope so, but i'm not sure she would deal well with the fact that just a couple of weeks before their split was officially confirmed, he was on the road with someone else in his hotel room. The girl had the build he's known to prefer- lean and muscular- and she answered the door wearing nothing but her underwear and her hands covering her breasts. Seemed very young.
Didn't seem uncomfortable and, you know, did what she told and was supposed to do while he lay in bed, naked, kinda ignoring her. She meanwhile kept walking around without her top on, like it was totally normal. And apparently it wasn't the first time. All the time. For a long time. Which, for some reason, was a surprise to no one but his girlfriend, now ex, who never, ever, ever learns. Kinda like her successor, from another relationship, and why can't we give these girls some better love vision???

Top suspect: Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

2011-09-25T19:59:00.004-04:00

New from Ted on Friday. Yet again, Ted has ever-so-slightly changed the name of a well-known BV. Are we talking about Lloyd Boy-Toyed, or someone new named Lloyd Boy-Toy? We are going to go out on a limb and for now say they are the SAME PERSON. If Ted tells us otherwise in the future, we can always change our plan.

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

You know how some cheating husbands (like Arnold Schwarzenegger) really do want to get caught, so they do stupid things and leave obvious clues? Same thing with sexually conflicted Hollywood stars such as Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile. Now, mind you, most closeted gay guys in Hollywood are more of the Fey Oiled-Tush variety and do not want to be known—under any circumstances.
However, there are exceptions, such as Crotch, Toothy and—we dare say—Lloyd Boy-Toy, who's totally pushing the gay envelope lately. Certainly the bisexual one:
Lloyd, always a most fascinating actor, is busy maintaining quite the dichotomy-filled existence: While he dates more and more (and younger and younger) attractive women, he's also continuing to hire male prostitutes.
Now, keep in mind these women Mr. Boy-Toy goes out with are not just pretty fixtures for the famous guy to be seen with, as Lloyd also enjoys sexual relationships with these gals.
But he's also just as enamored with young men, trust us!

Add to this somewhat complicated life path the fact that Lloyd's also been caught screaming anti-gay epithets, as Lloyd's temper has never been something he's too great at controlling. Hmmm. Wonder what that means?
Probably exactly what it looks like: The handsome guy's not only conflicted about how he feels about other people's sexuality (hence, his own), but part of him is dying to be called out for who he really is!
Keep up the name-calling, Lloyd, and that's exactly what will happen.
And It Ain't: Daniel Craig, Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman

Please see the other posts on the previous Lloyd Boy-Toyed BVs (if you believe they are the same person), including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect (if this is the same guy as Lloyd Boy-Toyed): Alec Baldwin

Lainey - Franchise Fat

2011-09-25T10:25:00.002-04:00

New riddle from Lainey Thursday ... it was actually written by Sarah -

Franchise Fat

He showed up the first time fit and fine but this time around he was rather round about the tum. The director noticed and was not happy, fearing for the consistency of the franchise. When asked to slim down, the slightly schlumpy star responded, “This movie isn’t worth it.” The trim-down request was rejected, and the show went on, but feelings were sore and things were a bit stiff until Sir Portly finished his scenes.

Top suspect: Michael Sheen

Blind Vice! Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

2011-09-17T22:41:00.003-04:00

New from Ted on Friday Sept 16 -

Blind Vice! Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

Everyone in Hollywood is wondering who Portia Vajazzle is dating.
She flies solo when she's strutting her stuff on whatever red carpet she happens to be walking that week, and even though she's been linked up to some of the hottest hunks this side of Beverly Hills, she remains (shockingly) single.
Or so she says. You see, Ms. Portia is plenty busy behind closed doors...
"She sleeps with everyone," a pal very in the know about Portia's lusty life tells us.
Well, she won't sleep with just anyone. She's got certain standards that must be met, but we'll get to that in a moment.
So who did this young, gorgeous gal bed most recently?
Blind Vicer Stinky Carrot-Crotch, who is known more for his sometimes-silly jokes than his skills between the sheets.
Um, what gives, Porsh? You can totally do better than that dud.
Thing is, P.V. knows exactly what she's doing. She's a crafty chica and digs men with power. Well, uses men with power is more like it.
See, Stinky was more than happy to have her on the set of his latest flick when he knew how easy it was to get into her panties (ya know, if she's even wearing any to begin with).
It's the same stint Portia pulled with the movie before Mr. Carrot-Crotch's. And the one before that too.
We're not positive if Portia's been bedding these dudes to land the roles or just sleeping around once she's gotten the gig, but if we know anything about this town, we're guessing it's the former.
And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lawrence

Eliminated for Portia Vajazzle as of 10/22/11: Ashley Greene, Blake Lievely, Jennifer Lawrence, Olivia Wilde, Vanessa Hudgens

Top suspect:

Please see the label below for our other post on the original Stinky Carrot-Crotch BV.(Top suspect for him is Seth MacFarlane.)

National Enquirer blind item

2011-09-17T20:15:00.003-04:00

OK we didn't actually see this blind item in the National Inquirer. But I am reprinting Ted's take on it. This was in the Awful Truth on Monday -

Which Film Hunk Is Crushing on a Gay Activist?

We love a juicy Blind Vice as much as the next gossip-monger.
Which is why we've been tres captivated with The National Enquirer's mysterious mention
of a hunky film star who's been seriously (but secretly) crushing on out and proud actor and activist James Duke Mason. Now we know the Enquirer isn't always a beacon of reliability, but we gotta wonder: There's no way it's one of our favorite stars, right? Could it be...

Jake Gyllenhaal, who's certainly considered hunky, what with his buffed up Prince of Persia muscles and boyishly charming smile? And while Jake's currently single, he's just recently been linked up with Anna Kendrick and Rashida Jones. There's no way he's burned through all of T-town's babes already, right?
Or maybe it's the equally scrumptious and single...
Zac Efron, who's got the biceps and abs to rival any hottie in H'wood—with a very successful big screen career, to boot. Zacky and former flame Vanessa Hudgens parted ways and he's been flying solo since then, but those strip-club trips weren't a cover for a blossoming boy-on-boy relaysh, were they?
Say it ain't so!. Or could it be K.Stew's boyfriend...
Robert Pattinson, who is one of the hottest young actors in the world and headlining the biggest fanged franchise, like, ever. But he's happily in love with costar Kristen Stewartjust jet-setted to see her in London, right? He wouldn't possibly sneak around on his very own Bella Swan with a boy-toy, would he? and
And what about Rob's Twilight cohort...
Taylor Lautner, whose werewolf six pack has earned him quite the fan club. And James himself sent a mysterious tweet saying the Blind Vicer could "ABDUCT" him any day—could this be a clue to Tay's film Abduction or just a clever red herring? 'Cause certainly he wasn't faking it with cutie costar Lily Collins, was he?
Or maybe it's not any of the folks mentioned above? There are a lot of hot guys in this town...
Who the hell is it, then? 'Cause when it's really worth it, we like diggin' in other folks' blind gossip, too.
Sound off below!

Top suspect: Taylor Lautner

Blind Vice! Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better than Every Body Else

2011-09-10T10:00:00.002-04:00

New BV from Ted yesterday Sept 9 -

Blind Vice! Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better Than Everybody Else

Oh Chiquita, how we missed your crazy ass!
You remember our fave psycho TV starlet, right? She's the batty babe who slept her way to the top on her hit boob tube series, all while failing to get her former flame written into small screen oblivion.
Well, these days it's Chicky's big head rather than her man-trapping nether regions that has everyone whispering:
'Cause Chiquita is copping some serious diva 'tude lately.
Sources thisclose to Chicky's on-set stomping grounds tell us that the entire cast of the primetime staple was asked to do some extracurricular promotion for their upcoming season.
It's part of the gig after all, right?
Well not for Chiquita, who promptly informed the suits in charge that she was too big a star for that kind of nonsense and that her less famous costars could manage without her.
Which is exactly what they did. And we wonder if anyone even noticed Chiquita was absent.
Can you believe the ovaries on this broad?
Thing is, Chicky is hardly the biggest star on her show...at least not anymore. She hasn't been walking as many red carpets, booked as many big screen projects, or even landed on as many tabloid covers as some of her poor costars.
Hear that, Chiquita? You're losing your B-list status. Guess it's time to spread those legs again!
And It Ain't: Ashley Benson, Deborah Ann Woll, Polly Perrette

Please refer to the label below for a link to the previous Chiquita BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Naya Rivera

Blind Vice! Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

2011-09-10T09:49:00.003-04:00

This was Ted's BV from Monday... Chutney Jones returns...

Blind Vice! Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

You ready for a game of six degrees of Blind Vice separation?
Poor vanilla Chutney Jones never has any fun, right?
Right. Except that she did, for like one second there after slutty Jerry Rock-Butt dumped her snooze-worthy (but expertly toned) tush to bed a more sexually adventurous T-town chick—Kiki Doheny, of course. So what did old Chut do?
Skanked it up with another Vice star!
We already told you that Chutney was getting her flirt on with Saucy Bossy, a bisexual superstar who's about as horny as he is famous (which is, very). Well things don't stay in the flirty stage with Saucy for long.
‘Cause he wanted action. And Chutney wanted to show she can live on the wild side.
A dangerous combo, no?
Meanwhile, Jerr was out trying to woo Kiki, who used him and abused him while smiling for the cameras the whole time, leaving Jerry to drown his sorrows in a string of waiting hussies. Don't take it too hard, J—it's what she does to all her men.
Thing is (and, trust, we didn't expect this), Jerry ran back to Chutney with his tail between his legs.
And as stupid as she is, she took him back! But Saucy Bossy has a nasty little STD that Chutney could have easily picked up. Guess only time (and some mysterious itching) will tell.
AND IT AIN'T: Minka Kelly, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Greene

Please refer to the label below for links to our posts on the previous Chutney, Jerry, Saucy, and Kiki BVs, including full lists of who has been eliminated for Jerry and Saucy.

Top suspects:

Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel

Saucy Bossy - Jamie Foxx
Jerry Rock Butt - Justin Timberlake
Kiki Doheny - Mila Kunis OR Olivia Wilde

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher returns...

2011-09-02T12:37:00.003-04:00

New from Ted today. Another old one returns...

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher Gobbles Ladycake While Her Dude Nabs Mansnacks!

Many of you seem to have been shocked, simply shocked, at the girl-on-girl desires of gorgeous Cookie Muncher. She has a thing for satisfying the ladies from time to time, see, and we don't mean by serving them tea.
What's the big deal? She's still much more into her handsome man than the chicks. She just likes to have her ladycake and eat it, too, no biggie.
Well, guess who else is into having some nice (beef)cake on the side?
Cookie's main man, that's who!
Makes sense. Now we know why Cookie's never hidden her lesbian-leaning side!
Now, this good-lookin' guy of Cookie's—who's less famous than his partner—is starting to get pretty habitual with his playing around, which was never really part of the deal he originally struck with Cookie. And he's getting a bit more flagrant than Cookie ever was, as well.
So, what does this mean?
Do you think Cookie will up her Sapphic game? Will she give her guy an ultimatum, or just go straight to handing him his walking papers?
Don't think so.
If we know Cookie like we think we do, she's just gonna ask to join in next time her guy takes his guy on date.
Cookie's a ravenous girl!
AND IT AIN'T: Sandra Bullock, Britney Spears, Reese Witherspoon

Please see the label below for a link to our post on the previous Cookie Muncher BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Cindy Crawford (and husband Rande Gerber)

Blind Vice: Everybody's Whispering About Nick!

2011-08-26T12:59:00.003-04:00

New from Ted today. An oldie returns. This one was suspected to be about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith the first time around. Bt there were questions surrounding that, after Ted was (as usual) contradictory about the timing of Will's BV. Now that they are in the tabs again, they seem to fit for this again.

Blind Vice: Everybody's Whispering About Nick!

The sexy-ass life (and wife) Hard-Nipple Nick set up for himself years ago is getting so complicated lately. As if agreeing that your wife could have her lovers while you have yours could ever be an easy arrangement for very long! Hot, yeah, but, easy?
Not anymore. Here's what's unraveling:
The trust. And we don't mean between Hard-Nipple and his missus. More like the help.
You know, all those peeps rich folks like Mr. Nick always have around? Sure, they've all signed confidentiality agreements, but, you think they all pay attention to those legal handcuffs? Actually, yes, most within the Nick household do.
Just not all. Two employees very close to Hard-Nipple are opening their traps about their employer's imaginative marital arrangement, and word's starting to get out lately—much more than it has in the past. Regarding what an active, lively and rather democratic love-life (with more attention to the boys than to the girls we must add) Hard enjoys!
So, perhaps Nick's legal eagles might want to look in the direction of those sleeping near Hard-Nipple, as opposed to those right next to (which is where they're currently focused).
AND IT AIN'T: Jensen Ackles, Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck

Please click on the label below for a link to our post on the previous Hard-Nipple Nick Blind Vice from 2009, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Will Smith

Blind Vice: Hildago's Bitch Has Moved On to Bigger Gays

2011-08-24T18:01:00.005-04:00

New from Ted yesterday. Refer to the label below for a link to the previous Hildago BV.

Blind Vice: Hildago's Bitch Has Moved On to Bigger Gays

It wasn't Hildago Van Buren who had most people intrigued a couple of weeks ago, but instead, the guy with all the young fans who kept rubbing himself up Hildago's backside! Who could it have been?
Well, I think it's time for everybody to meet Carson Ampi-Dickorous, one of Hollywood's most charming sex addicts...
Who not only uses his skills for personal enjoyment, but for work duties, as well!
Now, the last time we heard from (and saw) Carson, he was mime breeding HIildago's behind, and it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, more than a few people in town know what an aspiring slut Carson is and how he'll at least make out—if not go all the way—with practically anybody for a good time.
But what is on some Hollywood folks' minds now is just how far will Carson go for a job? In other words, would Carson actually sell his soul (and his services) out just to land a primo part?
Perhaps. Because one of the hottest guys in TV (who's largely responsible for Carson's recent re-entry into the fame game) is working on some new projects. And Mr. Ampi-Dickorous has made it very plain to his employer just how far he'd be willing to go for a chance at that new gig.
Will it work? Honestly? Probably.
You think only straight casting couches are alive and well in this town?
And It Ain't: Robert Downey Jr., Alec Baldwin, Jamie Foxx

Use the label below for a link to the previous Hildago BV.

For Hildago Van Buren -
Eliminated: Ricky Martin, Elton John, Adam Lambert, Hugh Jackman, Rob Pattinson, Zac Efron, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cheyenne Jackson
Top suspect: Neil Patrick Harris

For Carson Ampi-Dickorous -
Eliminated: Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas, Rob Pattinson, Zac Efron, Chace Crawford, Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., Alec Baldwin, Jamie Foxx,
Top suspect: ?

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!

2011-08-19T10:00:00.006-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!

Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.
But at least she'll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn't know, she's practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.
Well, while Carm thinks she's in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell...
‘Cause her man is fed up with her BS.
See, Carol's guy actually really loves her. Like, over the moon love. Adorable, right?
We don't see much true love in the Vice vault.
And while Carol says she totally hearts her dude right back, she can't seem to stop her very flirtatious ways. Ya know, like when she brings her guy to swanky T-town shindigs and spends the whole night letting strangers paw at her very enviable assets. All while her poor schmuck of a partner watches on.
Well enough is enough, and Carol Anne's man pulled her aside at a recent party for what he thought was a private conversation.
Unfortch, Carol got all dramatic (per usual) and made a scene. Now everyone's watching to see if the formerly so-happy couple busts up.
And we wouldn't be surprised if they split, like, tomorrow. It's getting that bad.
And It Ain't: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston

Update as of 1/27/12 Ted has eliminated: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston, Jada Pinkett-Smith, any couple with children, Naya Rivera, Blake Lively, Kristin Cavallari

Top suspects: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom

Blind Vice: Carmelita's Real Friends Say Dump the Dude!

2011-08-12T16:38:00.003-04:00

New BV from Ted today, a repeat offender...

Blind Vice: Carmelita's Real Friends Say Dump the Dude!

Gorgeous, charming, curvy Carmelita Salami-Climber isn't a chick you'd normally feel sorry for. Jealousy is usually what one feels when watching Carmelita on the boob tube and reading about her in one of those endless fashion articles that are churned out about the babe.
But lately, Carm's very few close pals (she has thousands of acquaintances) are telling her to run from her man before...
They end up marrying!
See, Ms. Salami-Climber's buds are dead certain they've got this latest BF of Carm's pegged: That he's (a) more interested in the fame that comes from dating Carmelita than actually dating Carmelita, (b) definitely interested in the money that will be generated by continuing to be glued to Carmelita's side and (c) suspicious, sexually.
Uh, that last category is more of a hunch than anything specifically observed—but Carm's close GFs are a bit shocked at how anxious her guy is to join their regular gossip sessions.
I know straight men gossip and all, but, man, usually with each other, right, not other gals?
Regardless, the point is Salami-Climber's tight bunch is doing its damndest to talk Carm out of spending the rest of her life with her man—which is what she's telling them all she wants to do. And trust, Carmelita's well-meaning amigas are not holding back. They really don't think the dude's the one for her, and they're blasting this message to her as fiercely as they can.
But so far, Carmelita isn't having it. He is her prince, as far as she's concerned.
(Regardless if the prince might want another prince.)
And It Ain't: Selena Gomez, Mila Kunis, Cameron Diaz

Please refer to the label below for a link to the previous CSC BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Kim Kardashian

Blind Vice! Gay Star Gets Closeted Man's Attention!

2011-08-12T09:08:00.008-04:00

New from Ted Wednesday August 10 -

Blind Vice! Gay Star Gets Closeted Man's Attention!

We love Hildago Van Buren, the out star of many different talents. Not only can he hold his own, singing, dancing and acting, he can also hold his latest costar's penis—and does he!
Oh my, what the hell happened? Put the kiddie fans to bed and find out:
Recently Hildago signed up for a big production. You know, one of those shows with row upon row of deluxe dressing rooms. And it was inside one of these private star residences that Hildago got propositioned.
In itself, it's not so shocking. Van Buren's a super charming, über-talented guy. No, the shocker here is who made the approach—somebody with hundreds of thousands of teeny-bopper fans, somebody who would probably not work again (at the same level to which he's become accustomed), if word got out he was rubbing his privates up against Van Buren behind closed doors!
Did Hildago bite? No, surprisingly. But he's also no fool:
Before Hildy decided to let his surprise suitor down, telling him he wasn't interested in a quickie, he did take the time to feel up the guy's goods.
How the hell often to you have the chance to check out the family jewels of one of the world's biggest stars?
Like, never!
(Van Buren remains impressed.)
And It Ain't: Ricky Martin, Elton John, Adam Lambert

Update August 24 - Ted has written a new Hildago BV, and has given a name to the star with teeny-bopper fans: Carson Ampi-Dickorous. Please use the label below to link to the new BV. In that post we have included full lists of who has been eliminated for both Hildago and Carson.

Top suspect:
Hildago - Neil Patrick Harris

Lainey- She learns for him, will not leave him

2011-08-10T17:33:00.003-04:00

She learns for him, will not leave him

So much speculation and it's been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he won't, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about...things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.

They say that he's been trying to get out of there. He hasn't tried. There has been no attempt. It's kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, "I will never leave you". This one doesn't get enough credit for her tenacity.

Top suspect: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck

Blind Vice: Sloppy Sluts Unite!

2011-08-06T07:34:00.003-04:00

This BV was new from Ted on Tues Aug 2 - old characters...

Blind Vice: Sloppy Sluts Unite!

I guess Slurpa Pop-Off and Morgan Mayhem didn't get the memo. Tooling around Hollywood in outrageously expensive wheels while enjoying low-rent screws and buckets of cocaine is just so, well, 2006.
Girls, can't you hip it up better than that?
Guess not. And it's getting worse: Morgan and Slurpa, who both used to be two of the most successful young businesswomen in Hollywood (no joke) have seen their earnings reports...well, they aren't exactly sky-rocketing lately.
Which is a shame, because both these gals were the original crafty chick—in every way. Now, they can't even get invited to a decent Hollywood party.
So, what are two former It girls supposed to do? Band together, that's what!
Slurpa and Morgs—totally high—are now crashing A-list parties together, tripping, falling, purses opening and spilling everywhere. It's pretty sad.
"They think they're so funny," lamented one horrified guest at a Hollywood Hills bash the two girls invited themselves to recently. "But it's just pathetic. People didn't even recognize them at first. And then, it's like, once you realize who they are, please."
As one of the shocked onlookers said, "Even Nicole Richie cleaned up her act, come on!"
But reform has always been a dirty word to Morgs and Slurp. Which, actually, is part of their charm. The problem being, however, is that the naughty chemicals are starting to run the show for Pop-Off and Mayhem—like they did with Charlie Sheen. And it's boring as crap.
Not to mention as dangerous as Amy Winehouse's situation.
And It Ain't: Mary-Kate Olsen and Kate Hudson, Olivia Munn and Tila Tequila, Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers

Please refer to the labels below for links to the many previous Slurpa Pop-Off and Morgan Mayhem BVs.

Top suspects:
Slurpa Pop-Off = Paris Hilton
Morgan Mayhem = Lindsay Lohan

Blind Vice: Cruella Drives Her Latest Man to Extremes!

2011-08-06T07:27:00.002-04:00

New BV from Ted yesterday, August 5 -

Blind Vice: Cruella Drives Her Latest Man to Extremes!

Poor Marky Sweet-Puss. He's sweet no more.
But anybody who knows anything about Cruella St. Shackles, Marky's super-evil missus, knew that it was probably only a matter of time before Marky's aw-shucks demeanor bit the dust.
I mean, how can you possibly stay genuine and good-hearted with a woman who...
Is so anal she has her dietician/cook/slave place Post-Its on Tupperware containers of precooked meals in the fridge, each yellow note with the precise number of calories in each dish. And if a meal goes even one calorie over Cruella's trainer/workout partner/slave's suggested limit, then that kitchen is not a pretty place to be...for a long time.
So, imagine what it's like for Marky, who really was just a TV-dinner kinda guy before he hooked up with Cruella, in the bedroom with this exacting broad! Suffice it to say, it hasn't been easy. Nor in any other room of the house, for that matter.
As Marky's friend's put it: "He is so controlled by [Cruella], it's a wonder she lets him take a s--t."
And the sad result of all this totally brain-screwing domestic hovering is that Marky has begun losing his temper, both in front of Cruella, and not. Some folks are wrongly wondering if Sweet-Puss (who used to have a problem with drugs) isn't using again? Seems to always be on edge, ya know?
Hardly. It's all about being treated like a little husband/servant/roach at home. Fetching this, doing that, minding whatever—all for the insatiable, power-crazy St. Shackles.
"The temper thing's getting out of control," said one Sweet-Puss confidant. "I can only imagine what he's having to put up with."
Let's just hope Marky doesn't start using again and instead decides to ditch the doomed marriage first!
It Ain't: Nicole Richie, Vanessa Minnillo, Michelle Pfeiffer

Please refer to the label below for the link to the previous Marky Sweet Puss and Cruella St. Shackles BVs.

Top suspects: still Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

Blind Vice: Another Celeb Duo About to Bust?

2011-07-29T12:17:00.005-04:00

New BV from Ted today.

Blind Vice: Another Celeb Duo About to Bust?

Sorry to be such a downer these days with bad Hollywood relationships galore, not to mention ones that are permanently over. Definitely something in the air—much more so than usual lately.
And, now you can add Lucinda Jones-Smythe and Cubby Asparagus to the endangered couples list. Make that very endangered list.
"He just can't take it, anymore," complained a close friend of Cubby's recently, regarding his pal's dissatisfaction with his marriage. "He's thisclose to ending it—he just feels like he's drowning in her shadow."
Hmmm. Wonder who that could be? Woulda said Marc Anthony, but we sure as hell know what happened there, don't we?!
Cubby's probs, apparently, aren't just emotional, but financial, too: We're told when compared to wife Lucy's far more swimming professional situation, Cubby, just feels like his lack of earning power lately is magnified every time he goes home.
"He's just lost, really," says our mutual friend. "He wants his old life back when they were both really successful, and he just doesn't think it's going to happen while they're together."
Don't give up hope, Cubby, you're such a cute couple! And remember, this is Hollywood. Lucy's movies will be in the toilet in no time and you'll be right back to being top dog!
It Ain't:
Jessica Alba & Cash Warren, Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos, Julia Roberts & Danny Moder

Update August 1 - Ted states that Cubby Asparagus is a different person than Chubby Asparagus from an earlier BV. Two separate people, not a misprint.

As of 8/5/11, Ted has eliminated: Jessica Alba & Cash Warren, Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos, Julia Roberts & Danny Moder, Sarah Pohler & Will Arnett, Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr., Rebecca Rojmin & Jerry O'Connell

Top suspects:

Lainey - Three Weeks & a Friend's Couch

2011-07-29T10:41:00.004-04:00

New riddles from Lainey on Wed, July 27 -

Three Weeks & a Friend's Couch

Two separate riddles here...

1. It was instant attraction when they started rehearsals, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be happily married. On set flirtation, some touching in the trailer, soon became after work “prep time”, and heavy petting in the car, and before long it was a full blown affair. May have been a method situation for him, which would surprise no one, but for her, even though she told herself this was a big girl, mature woman thing to do – take a co-star lover – of course she fell in love, although she obediently went back to her boyfriend and tried to shake it off he cut it off after three weeks as soon as his wife came over to stay. He seems to be able to pretend like it never happened. Which, naturally, is confusing her because she thought it was so real. Of course she did. As it happened, there was a break in the schedule and they haven’t had to work together for a while, much to the studio’s relief. These are big names on a big film with big expectation and there was already enough drama last time around. But shooting with everyone resumes again in a few days, and they’ll be sending an executive to stay around through the stretch to keep a close eye. Babysitting is exactly what it is.

2. Here’s a story her side has been working hard to put out there: that one night he hurt her so badly she had to leave and because she’s so famous, and was so distraught, a hotel wasn’t an option. So she drove herself – a crazy notion in and of itself – to a friend’s, and actually slept on the couch, also hard to believe. But home was supposedly not a safe place for her that night. This is why they’re helping her make a new one.

Top suspects:

#1 - Anne Hathaway & Christian Bale

#2 - Jennifer Lopez

Blind Vice: She Did Him Wrong and Then Blamed Him in the Divorce!

2011-07-25T17:30:00.005-04:00

New from Ted Friday July 22 -

Blind Vice: She Did Him Wrong and Then Blamed Him in the Divorce!

And people say Possum Santana can't act!
Poor, poor Possum. She never really does very well in the movies, as the flicks she stars in rarely do huge box-office numbers, and they almost always get lethal reviews. But Possum is an awfully pretty girl, sure as hell (despite what seem like a million nervous personal twitches). Not to mention she's got a man who's done his best to stick by her sometimes loca side.
Too bad, then, that Possum decided to...
Cheat on her loyal husband with some pretty-boy type! So fun, but so stupid in the long run.
Because you know why? Pretty boy's already done with Possum, who didn't think this whole thing through—at least, not financially speaking.
And she didn't think through how it'd play out in the court of public opinion either!
Let's be honest: Possum's hubby was a total loser and a bore despite the fact that he was loyal. But she should have been much smarter about it, because now it looks like she's the one who's more in the wrong because, well, she is.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, it's really a shame Possum doesn't know how to be more discreet. Because, you know that wave of sympathy Possum's enjoyed so far, regarding the "sad" break-up of her marriage.
Going to change.
And It Ain't: Brooke Mueller, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson

Top suspect:

Blind Vice! Secret Stoner Star Turns to Blow!

2011-07-18T22:37:00.004-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Secret Stoner Star Turns to Blow!

Uh-oh! Could we have another Morgan Mayhem in the mix?
Trust, Debbie Doobie isn't hitting the party circuit quite like Ms. Mayhem, but she's taking a few notes on her party-girl ways. Let's back up a sec: You might know Deb from a slew of movies and TV shows that she's appeared in. Totally gorgeous gal with great hair and that whole good-girl vibe to boot!
But like any wannabe A-lister working her way up the H'wood ladder, D2 knows how to party. And her poison of choice?
Weed, for the most part.
Which isn't so bad and will probably be legalized in good ol' Cali before they let two loving dudes tie the knot, but I'm getting off track here. Debbie is a ganja goddess, tho she's good at hiding her stoner ways for the omnipresent paparazzi.
However, it wasn't her puffing that had peeps chatting at a swanky pool party the babe recently attended.
It was M2's fave little white powder. Coke, duh.
Seems Debbie has developed a new habit to accompany her coast-hopping wild ways, and her closest pals are worried that once she boards the blow train, her next stop will be rehab.
"She's totally becoming unhinged," one Debbie confidant was overhead whispering about her friend's kooky behavior that left many of the other guests wondering what the hell Deb was smoking...
Or snorting, in this case.
Hey, Debbie, you may want to cool your partying ways and actually listen to your pals—ya know, the ones who aren't slipping you drugs. Just look at how Morgan turned out:
Rehab and, worse, straight to the Z-list.
And It Ain't: Selena Gomez, Nina Dobrev, Blake Lively

Update: As of 8/5/11, Ted has eliminated Selena Gomez, Nina Dobrev, Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, AnnaLynne McCord, Emma Stone, Jennifer Aniston, Amanda Seyfried,Anna Faris, Kat Graham, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn,

Top suspect:

Blind Vice! TV Actor Gets Hump Happy in Hotel Lobby!

2011-07-15T23:34:00.003-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! TV Actor Gets Hump Happy in Hotel Lobby!

Paulie Pecker certainly doesn't get as much attention as the other folks on his funny boob-tube series. Which is a skanky shame, ‘cause while they all land the big-time tabloid covers for their incredibly Vice-lite behavior, Paulie's out there committing some hilariously horny crap.
Take, for instance, P.P.'s latest escapade at a swanky Hollywood hotel, where he had taken a broad he was hoping to bed. Paulie wasn't just DTF tho, he was also...
Hammered drunk.
Which isn't too shocking, actually—we know Paulie and his pals can booze with the best of ‘em—but P2 seemed to be sporting extra-thick beer goggles on this par-tick night.
An onlooker described Pecker's cougarific "date" as mucho older and just as plastered as Paulie, with what little clothes she was wearing already coming off when the twosome popped into the lobby.
Unfortch, the hotel was all booked up. Paulie pulled the usual "do you know who I am?" B.S. and then tried slipping some cash to the staff, but he and his lady friend were still denied a room. The drunk duo finally gave up, but while they waited for a cab to come collect them, decided they just couldn't control themselves any longer.
Yep, they started going at it right there in the lobby.
The hotel workers and a few other guests checking in were not so pleasantly surprised to see Paulie's gal straddle him as the two started making out and pulling each other's clothes off. Body parts, lots of ‘em, were exposed.
He shoved his face in her boobs for some motorboat action and she shoved her hand down his pants and things were really heating up as the clothes came off. Which is when Paulie's hump buddy decided that they should slip away to the bathroom to finish the deed.
Cue the hotel staff, who kindly told Paulie and his pal they needed to hit the road. Which they did.
And It Ain't: John Krasinski, Ty Burrell, Rob Lowe

Update 7/30/11 - Ted has also eliminated B.J. Novak, all of the guys from Glee, all the guys from Big Bang Theory

Top suspect: ?

Blind Vice: Morgan Mayhem Demands Drinks, Gets Denied!

2011-07-15T23:27:00.003-04:00

Snooze... another Lindsay Lohan BV from Ted... this one from Wed July 13

Blind Vice: Morgan Mayhem Demands Drinks, Gets Denied!

If somebody was ever begging to be saved (albeit in a really stupid-ass way), it's gotta be the hard Hollywood-partier, Morgan Mayhem. This fallen, joke of a talent is starting to make Courtney Love look like an A-list star, by feeble comparison.
Lame twitter exchanges with fans? Check. Bitter wars with family members over totally bratty things? Check. Hasn't done what got her famous in the first place, for, like, 2 billions years? Check!
So, after Morgan's latest P.R. makeover, which was designed solely to make Morgan look like a darling angel, what did the supposedly reformed girl go right out and do?
Attempt to get wasted at a very fancy L.A. party, up in the Hollywood Hills.
Morgan's hosts are some very happening, quite lovely folks in H-Town, and they were actually excited (and happy) to have Mayhem as a guest—as long as she did just one thing:
They did not want M.M. drinking in their luxurious home—at all. Not even a sip. Nada.
Even still, when a most indignant Morgan (who's not at all used to being told what she can and cannot do) made a scene by demanding drinks, Mayhem got what was probably the surprise of her life: She was told no, again—and again.
"The hosts were really nice about it," says one observer who was also at the exclusive get-together in one of Mayhem's more familiar zip codes. "But they were also insistent that they would not serve [Morgan]."
"This isn't good for you," the hosts finally said to the pretty young thing who was sitting slouched while demanding cocktails. "No, we're not serving you."
No?! A word Ms. M's not exactly accustomed to hearing, for sure!
But, of course, even though Mayhem was publicly denied from getting her booze on at the exclusive party, she nevertheless figured out how to get tanked elsewhere. On the very same night famed celeb-rehab legend Betty Ford passed away.
How ironic. Or would foreboding be a better word?
AND IT AIN'T: Amy Winehouse, Bai Ling, Jessica Simpson

Please see the label below for links to the previous Morgan Mayhem BVs.

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

Blind Vice: No Taming This Royally Horny Slut!

2011-07-10T13:18:00.003-04:00

New from Ted Friday July 8 -

Blind Vice: No Taming This Royally Horny Slut!

There's something about living a fairy-tale life that just dares you to screw it up—or so one would think watching Lord Tripp Unzipped and all his dalliances. Despite having many high-profile affairs, Tripp has never seemed able to find the right looker to settle down with, that is, until he met the gorgeous Lady Unzipped.
And my, how the world ate it up, watching Lord and his pretty partner in marriage settle down—with lots and lots of future poshly positioned heirs to look forward to.
Right?
No. Quite wrong, in fact. The only thing that's really a stunner here is that Tripp's spouse went along with the matrimonial plan—even though this now incredibly rich partner (like many an Unzipped-friendly source) knows full well that not only does Lord U fool around, he's not exactly picky about who he gets into bed with, male or female.
And anybody who's anybody within this royal set is taking bets on (a) how long it'll be before Unzipped eventually chooses a less than discreet conquest romance, (b) when that will get out to the press and (c) just when (not if, but, when) is Lady Unzipped going to run screaming to anybody—and any publisher—who will listen about what a damn cheating, sloppy schmuck this Unzipped dude really is.
Impressive title be damned.
It Ain't: Elton John, Prince Edward, Sean Connery

Top suspect: Prince Albert de Monaco

Blind Vice! Scorned Talk-Show Queen Is Downfright Furious

2011-07-07T00:14:00.002-04:00

New from Ted on Tuesday July 5 -

Blind Vice! Scorned Talk-Show Queen Is Downright Furious

Hostess with the mostess Anita Sunshine is known for her strong views and mostly cheery disposition.
And while the chatty Kathy has been known to spar with her fellow showmates, nothing has ever been this big of an issue behind the scenes of the chatfest.
Well, until now, that is.
You see, these très-loyal cohosts used to be practically inseparable, even hanging out when the cameras stopped rolling! But it appears the glory days are over...
Turns out Anita's cohost wants to move on to greener pastures—ya know, pastures without Anita.
Oh and by greener, you bet your ass we mean money-wise. Anita's friend turned frenemy is looking at cashing in a serious paycheck if the next gig works out right. We're talking big-time Hollywood bucks here, peeps.
And Anita ain't happy about it!
In fact, she's downright pissed. And so is the rest of the show's team, who feel like Anita's right-hand guy or gal will be deserting everything they have built together.
But Anita's partner in crime already has one foot out the door, so it's just a matter of time before we hear what network this personality will be popping up on next!
We would watch out tho, Anita may seem all sugar and spice, but we wouldn't put it past this broad to seek some sort of revenge.
We're sure we'll be seeing you again real soon, Anita!
And It Ain't: Anne Curry, Wendy Williams, Ellen DeGeneres

Top suspect: ladies of The View

Blind Vice: King Schlong Is a Texter Molester Behind His Girlfriend's Back

2011-07-02T23:23:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th of July weekend! Here was Ted's new BV yesterday -

Blind Vice: King Schlong Is a Texter Molester Behind His Girlfriend's Back

King Schlong is at it again, folks.
Same old cheating crap, new gorgeous gal-pal getting duped by his charming ways.
See, K.S. swapped one chick for another (as he does so often), but this time he actually seemed to be into his gal of the moment. And stupidly, we thought the King may have turned over a new leaf for a hot second there. But turns out this Hollywood playboy can't change his spots.
Like at all...
‘Cause the gal this dude is publicly romancing ain't the only chick he's getting down and dirty with.
We hear firsthand that the Schlong is not only wooing the ladies while his sorta-GF is out of town working on some swanky project or another, but he is texting numerous girls even when they're in the same city!
At a recent dinner in Los Angeles, a buxom brunette model (totally King's type) couldn't get her plastic-surgery-perfected nose out of her smart phone, where she spent the evening swapping skanky texts with the super schlong and giggling at everything he sent her.
Totally déjà vu, huh? Doesn't King know that no one in this town keeps their trap shut?
Turns out the two have been sexting since like forevs, but at least this gal knows she ain't the only lady on the side.
As the dark-haired beauty bragged to her dinner dates, "We talk all the time and hang out, but it's nothing serious."
Um, maybe someone should tell K.S.'s GF to take on a similar ‘tude?
AND IT AIN'T: Jason Statham, Kris Humphries, Michael Sheen

Please refer to our label below for a link to our previous King Schlong BVs.

Top suspect: Leonardo DiCaprio

Blind Vice! Morgan, You have One More (A-List) Chance!

2011-06-26T17:55:00.002-04:00

This was new from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice! Morgan, You Have One More (A-List) Chance!

Delusional and drug-addled Morgan Mayhem has really got to be the most pitiful of all our Blind Vice Superstars. It's getting boring reporting on her, so we've basically stopped.
Except, recently we were talking to one of our A-List sources (we adore all types here at AT, just so you know, all the way down to Z-list!), who told us Morgan is in for a shock soon:
She's going to be offered an A-list job again! And, trust us, this is no sleazy project like those the once-top actress is used to doing these days.
Academy-Award winning director. Academy-Award-nominated co-talent. Very cool, hip up-and-coming costars.
And the part itself?
"A complete whack-job girlfriend, Morgan would be perfect."
And how. The only problem being that the director is busy fighting with the costars, who are adamant they will not work with M2, who they consider "a total asshole."
However, the director, who is not to be deterred, is busy telling his actors they will be meeting with Ms. Mayhem, just the same, as soon as the meeting's finalized—and that he fully expects Morgan to come to the meeting "fully contrite, asking for the job."
You hear that, Morgan-doll? Through all your coked-out, boo-hoo scrapes in life, can you even remember how to act anymore? Because if you can, you might want to start with the audition process.
They're expecting somebody who you know doesn't exist anymore (and probably never did), so see if you can pull if off, sweetheart!
If you ever want to work in this town again, that is.
It Ain't: Katy Perry, AnnaLynne McCord, Demi Lovato

Please see the label below for a link to our other many posts on Morgan Mayhem BVs over several years.

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

(film Magic Mike; Steven Soderbergh)

Lainey 6/21/11 - That didn't take long

2011-06-21T19:50:00.003-04:00

New riddle from Lainey today -

That didn't take long

I guess if you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. It doesn’t have to be after a year, it can be much less. And you don’t have to wait for 5 either. Also, at that age, is it realistic to expect something to last forever? I suppose you don’t know that until you know it. And by then it’s too late.

She’s more famous. And he’s, well, he’s ok at what he does, but he’s certainly not great at it although when it comes to actual talent, I’m not so sure she has much of it either, and definitely not with the last project she pimped. Still, there’s no question that she’s the B+ in this relationship, and he’s the solid D+, which is VERY generous. In another league maybe we’d consider him a C-. A C at most. He’d never be one to wear that on his sweater though.

Anyway he cheated on her. At least once. With some kind of no name, but well connected enough, and the sort of girl who gets off on hooking up with married men, and if the married man has a celebrity wife... well, even better.

The wife, so far, is happily oblivious. So far. But those kinds of girls, they love to step down on other girls. And they love when other people know about it. Not sure how long he’ll be able to keep this contained.

Update:

Current top suspects: Hillary Duff & Mike Comrie, Carrie Underwood & Mike Fisher

Blind Vice: Did Sally Make Her Choice to Keep Hollywood Happy?

2011-06-17T23:03:00.001-04:00

Still getting caught up ... slowly. Here is Monday's Blind Vice from Ted.

Blind Vice: Did Sally Make Her Choice to Keep Hollywood Happy?

It was upsetting enough in itself, the surprising break-up of Sally Pearlsmyth and Percy DuBois. The beautiful young couple was so in love! So tantalizing in their passionate and real-life love story!

But, that was before things went awry and Sally found she was pregnant...

And after consulting with her myriad advisors decided she would end the pregnancy. This we revealed last time we told you about Sally's unfortunate bust-up, and one reason why Percy was so very upset afterwards—because he wanted her to keep the kid.

But this we have just discovered:
During all those meetings Sally had with her advisors, agents and employers (she told them all about the pregnancy, asking everybody what she should do), Sally actually talked to her bosses about having a pregnancy theme written into her acting project at the time.

The producers were not against considering the concept, but, they ultimately rejected it—as they didn't really care for that storyline.
And then Sally decided to end her pregnancy.
Now, we're all about women's rights at A.T. Just not sure everybody in Hollywood agrees with us? I don't know, you get time off to have a kid if you work at the post office, shouldn't you get that, also, if you work at the studio? Without having to worry about losing your job?

Just a thought.

AND IT AIN'T: Selena Gomez, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Lawrence

Please refer to our the label below for a link to the post on the previous Sally/Percy BV.

Top suspects: Dianna Agron & Alex Pettyfer

Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic Takes to the Sexy Skies

2011-06-17T22:08:00.004-04:00

Aaaah, crashing laptop! Delays and more delays. Here is today's Blind Vice from Ted.

Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic Takes to the Sexy Skies

Must admit: we've been pretty worried about one par-tick Vicer lately. See, we adore Crotch Uh-Lastic and his hump-happy ways, but the dude's been tweaking out of his mind lately. Believe us, we so much preferred dishing on his skanky sexcapades than his dubious mindset.

Which is why we're très thrilled that CU-L has put the cuckoo crap on hold and is making a sexy splash with his many boy-toys these days. But he's not into the poolside scene like he once was. No, Crotch has upgraded to...

Yep, Crotch has taken his fagola flair to the friendly skies. But he's not picking up horny hunks in Virgin's first-class cabin—'cause like any celeb worth his superstar status, C racks up his frequent-flier miles on a private plane.

Sound familiar?

It's like Crotch took a page right out of Fey Oiled-Tush's guide to being a dude on the D.L.
Remember, Fey likes to take his plethora of handpicked young studs into the clouds and explore the cockpit, if you know what we mean (and we're pretty sure you do)—all while his poor, bitched-at pilot watches on.

The good news is that C-UL's personal sky captain isn't dissatisfied with his closeted clientele. In fact he likes Crotchy quite a bit—in a strictly platonic, hetero way, of course...for now, at least.

The bad news? He's still spilling secrets about Crotch's sexy vacays to anyone who will listen—tho the news that C is bedding boys is shocking to about...no one.

But Crotch isn't just in it for the nookie, he likes taking his pseudo-BFs on trips for two around the globe. First they do the deed and then go on a cutesie date in some far-off foreign local,e away from the bright lights and paparazzi lens of Hollywood.

Now isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?

And It Ain't: Garrett Hedlund, Stephen Moyer, Chris Colfer

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous posts on the MANY CUL BVs.

Top suspect: as always, James Franco

Lainey - Locker Room Duties

2011-06-17T18:19:00.003-04:00

Don't hate us cause we're late with this. It was a crazy week! New riddle from Lainey yesterday June 16 -

Locker Room Duties

This has nothing to do with how John Travolta behaves at a spa. But I love that your first instinct was to go there.
For Seych who graduated from SFU yesterday and was reading LaineyGossip under the regalia through the boring bits – a riddle by request:
You want to know how spoiled celebrities are? Every morning when he goes to the gym and opens up his locker, he expects to find inside a vacuum sealed package containing a set of clean workout clothes. He leaves the used clothes inside the locker after the training session. An employee is then required to come to the gym later and replace the dirty items with a fresh vacuum pack option for the next day. The clothes have to be vacuum packed. They can’t just be laundered and folded and placed gently on the shelf. And in LA, for the stars, a request like this is considered commonplace.

Update

Top suspect

Blind Vice: Shafterella Shoshstein Leaves the Evil Conniving to Others!

2011-06-11T18:44:00.004-04:00

We should have known a new Shafterella BV was coming ... Ted was talking about Reese a lot this week. Here is his new BV from yesterday...

Blind Vice: Shafterella Shoshstein Leaves the Evil Conniving to Others!

Shafterella Shoshstein and Cruella St. Shackles really should make a movie together. After all, these two mega-manipulators are made for each other!
A new version of Thelma & Louise, maybe? Nah, a remake of Black Swan would be better, with Shafterella playing the crafty Natalie Portman part, and Cruella going for Winona Ryder's tragic, aging diva character.
But, dolls, we are way off topic here, which is to report that real-life power manipulator Shafterella has been corralling her friends to...
Do her dirty work for her.
Now, it's no surprise that Ms. S.—whose multi-talents apparently extend behind the camera, as well—has been demanding that those who are employed by her do her nasty bidding for years. This is pretty much legend. Whether it's been dropping friends, movies or lunch dates, those not-nice tasks have always been left to those on Shafterella's payroll—all so Shafty can plead innocence if ever confronted and proclaim, "Why I had no idea they did that..."
But S2's gotten so used to the Teflon way of life, she's now started to get her friends—as well as her man—in on the act, having them send messages of preachy recrimination to those who displease Shafterella (trust us, the list is looong).
Hmmm. Is this the reason Shafty's coterie of BFFs is not quite what it once was? And is that the reason Ms. Shoshstein's been putting a few too many away lately? Oh my, the nasty domino gossip effect just keeps going on and on—it's all too yummy for words!
Just don't let Shafty catch you talking about any of this, or she'll send one of her humorless and unattractive mouthpieces (whether paid or not, Shafty always makes it a point to surround herself with less pretty people, always has) to tear you a new a-hole!
Bitch knows the right devil messenger service to use!
AND IT AIN'T: Nicole Kidman, Cindy Crawford, Christina Aguilera

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous Shafterella posts, including a full list of who has been elminated.

Top suspect: Shafterella = Reese Witherspoon

(See the label at right for the Cruella posts. Top suspect for Cruella is Nicole Kidman.)

Bonus Blind! Hot Athlete Gets His Game on While Girlfriend is Away

2011-06-09T14:35:00.006-04:00

This was from Monday, a few days late...

Bonus Blind! Hot Athlete Gets His Game on While Girlfriend is Away

Despite a commitment in the offing, Greta Gatsby's fairytale happily-ever-after to Taller Baller isn't all that it appears to be.
While Greta frequently travels, her BF is left alone to his own devices and is apparently hitting on every gal that walks into his favorite bar, where he spends much of his free time.
And though the muscle man's flirtfests may be innocent enough for now (and not by his design), we doubt his main mama would think highly of his player past.
Taller Baller has quite the drive!
Turns out T.B. would get very angry if any girl he brought home refused to, well, give it up.
In one noteworthy incident, T.B. even kicked a gal out of his house after she refused to seal the deal after their second date.
And he never called her again!
If these gals only knew how lucky they really are not to have this already-taken schmuck off their hands.
‘Cause it sounds like when Baller doesn't get what he wants when he wants it, he can turn into quite the pissy missy.
We hope Greta tightens up the leash on this spoiled puppy before it's too late!
But like so many women, we fear Greta just doesn't want to know. Get it?
AND IT AIN'T: Derek Jeter, Rick Fox, Kris Humphries

Top suspects: Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler

Update 6/20/11 - Ted has also eliminated Shakira & Gerard Pique

Blind Vice! Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

2011-06-04T18:29:00.005-04:00

Friday's BV from Ted...

Blind Vice! Star Prefers Balls to Famous Babes!

Barry Wanger-Banger is a muy funny fella. 'Tho, must fess, the tabloids haven't been talking about Barry for any of his silly shenanigans lately. In fact, they've been talking about the crap he does that could kill him, which is a damn shame.
But B-man is getting his life together, so we thought we'd share a titillating tale that we definitely find LOL-worthy about Mr. Wanger and his more pleasant Vice:
You know, the fact that he's totally into dudes!
Of course, like any H'wood hunk worth his B-list status, BWB can keep his secrets just that.
Yep, Barry has taken note from the many closeted cuties before him and loves parading around T-town with a new hot thing—some models, some actresses, he doesn't care too much, really.
But after wining and dining these babes at some of the swankiest hot spots in town—where he's sure to get some paparazzi attention with his charming smile and sometimes six-pack—the real fun starts when he invites them back to his place. (Not even Toothy Tile is dim enough to pull the crap you're about to read.)
'Cause here's the kicker: Barry lets the gals think he actually wants to get it on with them!
One partic clueless chick—who's actually got a recognizable puss herself—arrived back at B's place and was itching to see what he was packing when—poof!—Barry just up and disappeared.
The unlucky lady sat twiddling her thumbs in his family room, wondering where the hell her date went, before she finally started searching for him. And that's when she learned the truth:
Three is definitely a crowd.
See, Barry had slipped outside to play a game of midnight basketball—no, that's not a dirty little saying...We actually mean with the orange ball and a hoop and whatnot—with a sexy, shirtless stud.
Barry's poor date watched all the ass slapping and lingering congratulations as the two sweaty boys played with each other out back before deciding she was had suddenly become the third wheel and hit the road.
So, then Barry and his BF hit the showers.
Now these are the kind of stories we like to hear from ya, Bar. You always know how to make us laugh.
And It Ain't: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen

Also eliminated: Jason Sudeikis

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Cheating Makes Everybody Crabby

2011-05-26T20:00:00.003-04:00

Hi, sorry for the delay. Monday's BV from Ted:

Blind Vice! Cheating Makes Everybody Crabby

Ever wonder why hunky heartthrob Rick Danger-Zip split with his long-time gf Sunny Sweet-Cheeks? They seemed just perfect for each in that whole Britney and Justin sort of way, which is why it absolutely broke our hearts when they called it splits.
Well, here's the (itchy, crawly) deal:
Like so many superstars-turned-Vice stars do, Rick has it all: fame, money, and—shocker!—a good reputation. The good ol' USA couldn't get enough of his handsome puss and sometimes-charitable ways.
But Rick had something else that Sunny didn't find as appealing...
Crabs.
Yep, Rick picked up a pesky little case of crotch critters while he was out cheating on poor Sunny.
This wasn't one of those open relayshes that T-town horn dogs boast about while banging broads on the side. Sunny loved her dude and had no idea that he was hopping in and out of every bed in Hollywood.
Until his itchy groin gave him away, that is.
Shame, too, Sunny is drop-dead gorgeous and über successful in her own right. What gives with these guys not being happy with the amazing chick they have at home? Typical.
Well the formerly-tight twosome parted ways and Saint Sunny was kind enough not to tattle to the tabloids, but instead told everyone the two were totally cool and she was happy they could still be friends.
Yeah, right.
We're just tres pleased Sunny moved on to a new man who treats her right. She deserves it, after all the crap she put up with. And a kick start in her multi-talented career was an extra nice F.U. to her former beau.
But Rick found himself a new lady, too. One with big boobs and questionable talent (just how he likes 'em) and here's the kicker...he claims she's his one and only these days.
So, now the dim-witted gal is just sitting around on her tight toosh until her main man brings home another case of genital goodies. 'Cause you know Rick is still up to his cheating ways, dontcha?
You didn't think he had actually reformed did you?
And It Ain't: Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer and Diana Agron, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian

Also eliminated: Ryan Gosling, Michael Buble & Emily Blunt, Ashley Olsen, Emma Watson

Top suspects:

Lainey- Two Quickies

2011-05-25T18:55:00.002-04:00

Which tv personality flirts dangerously with GHB and then, consequently, with strangers when he's relaxing from a hard day's work? So far it hasn't gotten him into too much trouble but it can get rough out there, even though he likes it that way.

A chronic cheater slept with the girl who has also been around a lot, and has had her share of infidelity too, on both sides of the equation, and while their hookup was very brief, he was becoming serious with his gf at the time. They are still together, and she doesn't know. About this time, or all of the other ones. So dumb.

Blind Vice! Super-Duper Cooper Peeved About Poop Scoop!

2011-05-21T00:47:00.004-04:00

Newest BV from Ted...

Blind Vice! Super-Duper Cooper Peeved About Poop Scoop

We've filled you in on lots of the gross-out goss that goes on behind Vice stars' closed doors, and now one of the stinkiest celebs has finally caught a whiff of his own dirty laundry.
We're sure you can guess who, too...
Super-Duper Cooper, the superstar who likes his nookie with a side of No. 2!
And when SDC caught wind that we were blabbing about his penchant for poo, he wasn't too pleased:
'Cause the dude's going out of his way to make sure hotel insiders don't snitch to us again!
See, Coop was set to make his return to Sin City—and his smelly sexcapades, we're sure—but didn't want to leave a tell-all trail this time.
So like any good celeb worth their A-list status, he had his people take care of it.
We're advised that Coop's assistant called up every million-dollar, high-rise hotel the star has stayed in, including the hotel our partic chatty friend works at, and had a conversation that goes a little something like this:
"Hello! Hope you've been well! How are the kids? Blah blah blah, by the way, have you heard any rumors about Super-Duper Cooper lately?"
Our mischievous source, of course says, "No, why?" And that's when Coop's pal gets sassy, saying:
"Oh, there's just an old gossip columnists who's out to get Coop. They don't understand him because Coop is irreverent."
And when our in-the-know worker said that didn't keep up with the goss, Coop's fellow booked a room on the spot.
Hm, wonder if he'll be sure to clean up after himself this time.
Listen up, Coop, as long as you keep being so careless with your feces fun, I'll be sure to blab it. We can both be irreverent in that way, huh? But thanks for reading the blolumn!
(And for the record, you've kissed women my age and sure seemed to get off on it, dude.)
And It Ain't: Alexander Skarsgård, Charlie Sheen, Kevin Jonas

Please refer to the label below for a link to our discussion on the previous SDC BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: John Mayer

Part of our LIST is gone!

2011-05-20T16:40:00.005-04:00

UPDATE: The lost information is restored to the post. No thanks to blogger... we put the information together on our own. It's a little unorganized but bear with us. Thanks for your patience. See the label below to find a link to our "list of ted's reveals" post.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi readers!

As you know, we have been keeping list of Ted's Blind Vice reveals, along with lists of who he has said has been a BV, and who has been confirmed was never having been a a BV. This is helpful to refer to when making our guesses (if you follow Ted's rules that is)!

Well, I was updating the post the other day with recent info, and saw that a huge chunk was missing. It is a large portion of the bottom list (people who have never been a BV). It seems as if it's cut off the info from August 2010 on. I have contacted blogger and they said that there was a blogger crash last weekend and a lot of people lost information. Not sure if it will be recovered, but I have requested help and am waiting for a response of some sort.

As you know we all have other jobs and busy lives. It would be a HUGE task to take on to repair the lost info from the list. And even if we did, I no longer would trust blogger to NOT lose that info again. It's not worth to keep a meticulous list of something if it can apparently be erased at any time by blogger.

So, unfortunately, we can not repair the post at this time. If it is repaired we will do our best to keep updating it. However, if it is not repaired and the info is lost, then it will not be updated anymore because too much info has been lost.

We hope our readers understand. We will still post blind items and eliminations but can no longer be "anal" about Ted's info. Thanks for your understanding!

Lainey- Producer after producer

2011-05-16T16:56:00.005-04:00

New riddle from Lainey:

Producer After Producer

He has been sleeping with producer after producer - mostly females, any age, any shape - offering himself in exchange for opportunities. Any opportunities. While it's rather competitive among famewhores in the project he's best known for, it turns out he's the one who's most aggressive, most desperate, most willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead. Hilarious because it hasn't exactly been working for him until recently, a surprise gig.

Still, after so many tries, and other boys on the side in the city, and so many nights with much older lady executives, you'd think he would have gotten further ahead than where he's come to now which isn't all that impressive. Maybe that's why he decided to switch sides. Besides, it suits his true preference anyway. He'll do both, but men are what really make him happy. So he must not have minded when he laid himself out, twice, for a very high profile male producer with an impressive resume mentoring some huge names, recently, in the hopes of perhaps crossing over, straddling several different portfolios at the same time. If Jennifer Lopez can be multihyphenate, with one of those hyphens being a music career, I suppose it gives others hope they can too, him included. Never mind that there's an over 25 year age gap between them.

Top suspects: Chace Crawford

Which celeb is involved in lawsuit?

2011-05-14T12:57:00.005-04:00

Brought to our attention by Ted and the Awful team, we've learned about a lawsuit filed this week against a celeb. Check it out! Who could it be? Here's what Ted said about it on Thursday -

Let's Guess the Super Rich Celeb Being Sued for Spreading Herpes!

Get a load of this: According to a seriously salacious lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court yesterday, an "A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally" knowingly exposed a sex partner to the herpes virus, and that partner is now suing for $20 million.

So who is it? Here's what we know:

The culprit is male, worth in excess of $100 million and lied about not having V.D. On April 1, he lured the person (not ID'd as male of female, BTW) to his Las Vegas hotel room to watch porn and engage in "mutual oral copulation, mutual self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other, play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse."

Also, according to the suit, they did some drugs and, oh yeah, the celeb videotaped the whole thing.

We don't want to get too close to this story, but we're dying to find out which international celebrity is being targeted.

Surely it's not...

Leonardo DiCaprio, who's recently single and has been hitting the party scene extra hard lately? Leo notoriously loves Vegas, and his new film Hoover even had a sneak preview during CinemaCon (the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners) there on an overlapping date. But somehow, we suspect this is not something that helped lead to his breakup with poor Bar.

Also in Vegas a lot would be...

Elton John, but we simply have to refuse to believe the naughty culprit is the knighted, flamboyant singer. The new father and partner to devoted longtime love David Furnish wouldn't engage in such antics! Right? And lucky for this Vegas mainstay and Caesars Palace regular, Elton was in New York performing on Saturday Night Live at the time the accusations went down.

So, then, what, about...

Jeremy Piven, who frequents Vegas clubs and was definitely there a few weeks after the incident occurred, for a Mumford and Sons concert at the Cosmopolitan hotel? Word is Jerm has a thang for kinky sexcapades. But would we really consider him "an A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally?" Uh, no.

So let's then move on to worldwide superstar...

Tom Cruise, who certainly has the bucks to pony up a payload like that. Not to mention it certainly wouldn't be the first time T.C. had been accused of some weird sexual peccadillo. But the point is, Tom and Katie are hardly debauched Sin City regulars, and besides, Tom sues faster than Scarlett Johansson asks Sean to smooch with her, and everybody knows this, so any loud legal action from somebody trying to get revenge: highly unlikely.

Hmmm, Vegas act and Caesars Palace cash cow....

Celine Dion is super wealthy and well known worldwide. We knew there had to be more going on than meets the eye with that grandpa hubby of hers! Open marriage? Conservative front for a kinky couple? Celine! Who knew? Oh, wait, the suit did say it was a guy, so, never mind. Too bad, it actually would have made us like you better!

But look, like we said, we don't think it's any of the folks mentioned above. CinemaCon and the Academy Country Music Awards both took place in Las Vegas around April 1, leaving tons of wealthy, raunchy A-list candidates.

So who the hell is it?!

Tell us who you think!

Then, Ted posted this update Friday, and gave the celeb a BV-like nickname: "Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass" -

Did a Blind Vice All-Star Give Someone $20 Million Herpes?

UPDATE: We'll admit—we may have gotten our gay panties in a twist on this one. 'Cause we initially pegged the herp jerk as one of our fagalicious BV fellows, but it seems there's a clue in the lawsuit that most prying eyes overlooked—that the screwed-over someone is a chick! After pages and pages of trying to hide the Plantiff's gender, the unlucky clerk wraps by demanding "her claims" go to trial. Whoopsies! Clerical error? Or not?
In that case, our money is on previous long shot Saucy Bossy and his sometimes-womanizing ways. Or possibly Crescent Kumquat, who likes to boink a babe from time to time and isn't a stranger to STDS (or the Vegas party scene).
And we can't forget Super-Duper Cooper, whose sleazy sexcapades make us want to barf every time. This kind of gross-out garbage is the stuff that made him infamous behind closed doors.
Either way, it seems the lying lothario is quickly dishing out the dough to cover his scandalous tracks. Ha! Like something this scandalous will just get swept under the carpet. Lawyers may be trying to throw us off this perv's trouble-making track, but we think we've got him nailed. So who's your best guess?

We interrupt this regularly scheduled Blind Vice to weigh in on yesterday's scandalous celebrity lawsuit.
(We were planning on telling you Shellack Attack has already ditched that dude she was two-timing her much more famous bf with, because the guy was just too plebian, poor Shellack's climbing as fast as she can!)
Which megaceleb is getting slapped with a $20 million lawsuit because he gave his sex partner herpes, and videotaped the whole unsafe-sex act as it was going down?
Hmm. We're just going to call this guy Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass, and we might add, he sounds an awful lot like some contenders from our Blind Vice Hall of Fame, right?
At the top of our guessing game would have to be...
Seymour Plow-Me More, the Hollywood A-lister who keeps on (time after friggin' time) flagrantly putting his homo out there in semi-public places, all the while maintaining an ostensibly heterosexual life for the media.
I mean, this guy has plane-loads of dudes flown all over the world—by straight pilots who talk! And this is just one example of how Seymour lives to take chances, as is clear from the lawsuit itself, if you read every little dirty detail.
Now, also known to take dumb-butt chances, once in awhile, would have to be...
Toothy Tile, who we're simply praying isn't this arrogant Schmuck-Wad creep. Come on, there's a difference between wanting to just get your sex on in a dark alley, say, and filming it while giving somebody herpes! Now, Toothy's made some pretty moronic moves in his life, but not even he's this dim—or full of himself.
Probably not quite this insanely risky, either, would be...
Fey Oiled-Tush, who just lives to set up his elaborate flying harems (what is it with closeted gay actors and planes, what, they think it's not going to get back to anybody because it happened up in the air?). But he also abides—just as vigilantly—on having all his tracks covered. In other words, all these witnesses must sign non-disclosure agreements, not that that crap actually stops people from talking, but it does succeed in creating a certain chill somebody like Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass has no desire to create.
A less obvious choice, too, might just be...
Saucy Bossy, who even though he does prefer the down-low company of other men, does—from time to time (and certainly more often than Toothy, for instance) actually date and have sex with other women. And there's something peculiarly plausible, if you read the details just right, about this lawsuit that leaves the possibility the "mutual self-gratification" that went on, prior to the unsafe intercourse, etc., could have been between a man and a woman.
But we still guess it's between two men. And who shows up more often in the Vice annals that that combo?
Tellin' ya, we've probably written about Schmuck-Wad before.

Then Ted posted this newer update June 22, 2011 -

Poll: Who's Behind the Priciest Herpes Eva?!

Remember that mystery A-lister getting sued for giving someone herpes?
Well the STD host/big-time celeb quietly settled, for $5 million. Yes, $5,000,000. Let's drool over all those zeroes. The plaintiff even wanted $20 freakin' mil, but we're thinking "she's" pretty happy.
Anyhoo, TMZ, the gossip blog that broke this fabulously sheathed (just not penis-sheathed) item, is steering clear of even saying who they think might be the culprit:
Not even a friggin' hint! What the hell's up with that, babes? Much like the Awful Truth has done, don't ever recall Harvey Levin's TMZ outfit holding back when they had a celebrity opinion—in the least!
Maybe it's because H.L. has some connections with the infected him (or her!)? Maybe it's somebody who's not so A-list, after all—or maybe TMZ just doesn't know? Fair enough.
Or do we just have the ol' boys club network in action here, some slut-dude like Charlie Sheen who's being protected because that's just what guys do for each other?
Hmmm, let's find out:
(poll)

Top suspect: ?

Blind Vice: Star From Afar Lives to Cheat!

2011-05-08T00:11:00.003-04:00

New from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice: Star From Afar Lives to Cheat!

Isn't it somehow comforting to know that those not living primarily on American soil can be just as debauched as, say, Jesse James? I mean, it's not just a Hollywood thing to nab your partner, then start cheating left and right, is it?
Just last week, we showed you how the Duke of Schlongsbury is launching much gossip in the UK, what with the Duke's womanizing (and girl-izing)!
And not so far away from the Duke's castle lies...
Sovereign Stein-Moongle's plush pad, where he, too, spends ample time luring whichever young things he can to his celebrated boudoir.
Only difference is, Stein-Moongle loves to nab the boys, not the girls.
Also, another distinction between Sovereign and the Duke is their partners. The Duke's doesn't know bupkes about his philandering, quite unlike Stein-Moongle's other half, who's known all about Sovereign's dalliances for many, many years.
And perhaps one reason the cheated-on other half doesn't mind too much?
This lucky (and super-loaded) spouse often joins in on the action!
Hmm. And people wonder why the Stein-Moongles have lasted as a couple as long as they have?
Jeez, is mutual cheating really the answer to true love? Say it isn't so!
AND IT AIN'T: Sir Paul McCartney, Johnny Depp, Hugh Grant

Also eliminated: George Michael

Top suspects: Elton John (although he is suspected for another BV; see label for him) David Bowie

Vintage BV: Shellack Attack, Meatless Member

2011-05-04T15:38:00.012-04:00

Since Ted brought back an old name, we dug up her old BV. Here is the vintage Shellack Attack BV from July 2006.

Two Old-School Blind Vices: July 26, 2006

I swear, I'd love to tell you all the one about the reality-TV dude who's diddling other guys in the pools of Hollywood boy-boy shindigs, but that one's just as tired (ultimately) as the one I'm about to spill. I mean, come on. Okay, okay, so I will do--so to speak--the guy dish first: See, there's this boob-tube celeb who's, like, rather good-looking. Meatless Member has a nice face. Decent arms 'n' legs, sweet smile--but not exactly a whole lotta sausage cookin' in the kitchen down below. I mean, it was very nervy of M.M. to start having sex with other guys in the pool, what with every bitchy fag around, just waiting to spill the beans with no frank, as it were. But M. was horny, so he did anyway--so there. I'm hardly surprised Mr. Member was there at the posh address, frolicking at a homo-happening soiree in the first place, but most of (naïve) America will be startled, fer sure. It's all very snore-pie predictable.

As is Shellack Attack's latest man-romping move. I mean, many folks know Shellack's got a thing for the showier, naughtier boys--despite S.A.'s heart o' gold appeal. And this latest romance Ms. A.'s so very visibly involved in is hardly the surprise in that regard. But it should be. That's because sexy Shellack has finally found herself a man who has a bigger appetite for sno-cones, powder-style, than she does. And that's sayin' somethin'! Oy. Can't you infamous types out there please come up with some new Vices, besides drugs and dalliances? Can't somebody steal a script that results in an Academy Award from their best friend anymore? I mean, that's, like, what, a hundred years ago already, isn't it?

And it ain't: Bart Simpson/Paula Abdul; Ashlee Simpson/Randy Jackson; Jessica Simpson/Simon Cowell

Meatless Member:

Eliminated: Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, Paula Abadul, Carrot Top, Ty Pennington

Top suspect in 2006 was Ryan Seacrest, but since then Ted has told us that he was never a BV. Also Clay Aiken, Dane Cook were top guesses. So.... ???

Shellack Attack:

Eliminated as of 7/30/11: Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, Bart Simpson, Mandy Moore, Denise Richards, Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria, Kim Kardashian, Vivica A. Fox, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara, Beyonce Knowles, Julianne Hough, Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Christina Aguilera, Jenna Jameson, Rachel McAdams,Hayden Panettierre, Brooklyn Decker, Katy Perry, Kristin Cavallari

Top suspects: In 2006, was Heather Locklear; Also Natalie Portman, Pamela Anderson. But now none of them seem to fit too well with the new BV from 2011. So... ???

See the label below for our post on the new Shellack Attack BV from May 2011.

Blind Vice: Two-Timing Fox Itching to Get Caught!?

2011-05-04T15:23:00.002-04:00

New from Ted yesterday ... bringing back an old BV name I recognize from a few years ago. We have posted the original Shellack Attack BV from 2006 above. Here is the new one -

Blind Vice: Two-Timing Fox Itching to Get Caught!?

Shellack Attack, the very curvy celeb who's always making waves in the media, is also making waves in the bedroom. Even though everybody thinks Shellack is mad only for her current, A-list partner, that's not an entirely true statement.
See, Shellack must think she's a man, or something, because while she's telling her boyfriend (and the world, really) that she's just so in love and crap, Shellack's got another man on the side!
This is too funny. Not to mention precisely how men have been treating women for centuries. Such a pity Shellack's guy has to try the getting-used-thing on for size, huh?
However, Shellack's current boyfriend No. 2 is perfectly content to be used up, and stuff, and treated like the little plaything he is. Doesn't seem to bother him a bit.
But..Shellack's main man would absolutely crap if he knew the real score with his woman, who was seeing somebody else on the sly. And, quite frankly, we're certain Shellack get's off knowing full well she's in major time-bomb territory with the bf.
Of course, Shellack being Shellack, discretion's never really been her calling card, so that human time-bomb she's dating is about to go off pretty soon, we're certain.
AND IT AIN'T: Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria, Kim Kardashian

See the label below for our post on the original Shellack Attack BV for a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect:

Blind Vice! Special Royal Scandal Edition

2011-04-29T10:32:00.004-04:00

Happy Royal Wedding Day! The 4 sisters were up at 5 am for the wedding coverage and loved every minute of it! It's been a crazy week but we are getting caught up with the blinds in time for the weekend. Now here's a Royal-themed BV from Ted today. Enjoy!

Blind Vice! Special Royal Scandal Edition

As fabulous as our Royal Name Generator may be, let's face it: We debauched Americans at the Awful Truth were dressing up salacious celebs with our Blind Vice Superstars (and lesser Vice mortals) ages ago. And not to rain on William and Kate's happy day, but we simply cannot leave out the Vice-lovin' Brits!
The very shady HRH the Duke of Schlongsbury is like millionth in line to the British throne, but, babes, the law-breaking stud is legally entitled to rule the country, should it come to that. Which is why members of Parliament are super nervous.
Hmmm. What's the handsome duke's crime?
You know how often Queen Elizabeth II purses her lips or changes hats? Triple that figure and you've got the number of times Duke Schlongsbury beds underage girls.
And the very good-looking heir pays these women, on top of it—adding even more law-breaking badassness to his royal résumé!
Queen Liz knows all about it. So, too, do most of the country's elite, who are positively dead-set on gossiping about these things, but rarely doing anything about it.
Only this time, certain members of Parliament feel they're legally bound to try and stop the throne-line naughtiness. And the duke, who's quite used to getting whatever his horny heart desires, is royally pissed.
Hey, not nearly as peeved as Schlongbury's line-up of lovelies! Not only does he pay them extravagantly, he's got the biggest set of family jewels in all of England!
And we're not talking diamonds.

AND IT AIN'T: Viscount Linley (Princess Margaret's son), Peter Phillips (Princess Anne's son) or Prince Michael (Princess Michael of Kent's husband).

Top suspect: Prince Andrew, Duke of York

Blind Vice: Pokie Gets Dumped, Drunk, and High!

2011-04-22T21:42:00.002-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Pokie Gets Dumped, Drunk, and High!

Poor Pokie McPillster. The cute celeb has fought addictions for years (and not everybody knows how many), but while the girl's busy telling everybody she's a clean-living machine, trust us, she's not.
Pokie's pals were already increasingly worried about their famous friend's increased boozing and drugging, but then Pokie hit Coachella, and it got worse:
"We already knew she was using," says one of Pokie's confidantes, "but then at Coachella, it was really obvious."
Wandering around aimless, bumping into everything and everybody, slurring her every word, Pokie was a damn mess!
Pokie's various jobs could be jeopardized, fear these amigas. Plus, what concerns Ms. McPillster's friends even moreso, is how Pokie's family will take it once they learn the sad news (if they don't already know).
You see, others in McPillster's immediate family are desperately fighting to stay sober, and so Pokie's posse is not only worried as crap about their girl, but they also think those who love Pokie the most will now go out and start getting high again, as well.
Oh, come on, people. Nobody gets high unless they want to get high. Of course, it doesn't help if your wife or brother or whomever is getting plastered while you're trying to clean up your act, but it still ultimately shouldn't matter.
We're all responsible for ourselves. Too bad Poke's not that interested in such a sentiment—as she's currently blaming all her troubles on that damn man who did her wrong.
And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Girl-Thirsty Star Denied Tasty Lady Dish!

2011-04-15T13:09:00.008-04:00

New from Ted today...

Blind Vice: Girl-Thirsty Star Denied Tasty Lady Dish!

We're on a lesbian roll, love it! We've always thought girls know better how to have a really sexy time (guys are just too damn bam-bam-oriented, right?), and Butter Pussy and Cookie Muncher are proving us right.
Take Sheila Horn E., for instance. Now, they just don't come any more gorgeous than the luscious, exotically beautiful Sheila. Ms. Horn E.'s also pretty gifted in her chosen profession. But what Sheila's fans may not know (in fact, we're sure they don't), is that Sheila also has a knack for making other chicks quiver and quake:
But not always for the right reasons!
Just like Butter is wont to do, Sheila lives for taking a chance on gals who may—or may not—be interested in having a good time with her. For the record, most babes say yes to Sheila's advances. Not only is the multi-talent strikingly beautiful, but usually the women are so overwhelmed by Sheila's charm and fame, they pretty much just do whatever the Industry-respected honey asks them to.
Such was not the case in the Hollywood Hills at a recent A-list party, where Sheila—she ironically is in yet another happy "straight" relationship—put the moves on a striking, slender brunette with vibrant green eyes.
Those eyes darted, dug and may well have blurted, I don't care who you are, get the ef off me, bitch, which is precisely what a very shocked Sheila then did.
It was a major set-back for Ms. Horn E., who's always gotten what she wanted in the past—at least, as far as her lesbian love-life goes. Sheila's heterosexual romance history, on the other hand, is an entirely different subject, and one that's been covered to great extremes in the media, which is always so busy singing some poor-me song for the beautiful broad.
Well, if all these ass-kissing reporters knew Sheila loves to get it on with girls (maybe more so than she does with guys?), then maybe they'd a have a different approach next time they file one of their inevitable break-up stories on the star?
Oh, yeah.
AND IT AIN'T: Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively, Taylor Swift

Update 7/7/11 - Ted has eliminated Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively, Taylor Swift, Chelsea Handler, Anne Hathaway, Dianna Agron, Chelsea Handler, Shakira, Rihanna, Uma Thurman, Eva Longoria, Rosie Huntington-Whitely.

Current top suspect: Halle Berry

Blind Vice: Bitchy TV Cast Raises Hell, Nobody Cares

2011-04-08T18:09:00.004-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Bitchy TV Cast Raises Hell, Nobody Cares

We're gonna do something completely different today. We've got a whole group of naughties we're gonna blab about, instead of our usual one or two scandalous contenders. Besides, last week's Vice was so depressing, I think we all need something a little a little sillier to gasp about.
Like this extremely popular TV show's bitchy little cast, not to mention the dumbest season finale we've ever heard:
Mulholland Estates is wildly popular, we really don't see why. Granted, the highly rated oddball series has a couple of super-talented celebs, but every time we tune in to watch them, we're usually so horrified by the plotlines they're forced to play out, it's impossible to make it through a full episode.
Could this be why several big names on the show are beyond bitchy over the upcoming shooting schedule for the show's finale, which is being filmed later this month?
"Everyone wants a different day off," says a reliable source on the show, "and they're all being told no, and they're very unhappy about it."
Apparently, this finale is such a grand denouement and so intricately planned, all hands on deck are required during the whole operation—with none of the cushy wrap-around shooting windows that have been permitted for the cast's varying outside projects in the past.
"They're raising hell about it," snapped the Mulholland vet.
Jeez, all we have to say is that the spoiled cast's bitching about totally the wrong thing.
You see, the grand final show that's being planned will be...are you ready?
A floating dinner party.
Whereas each cast member hosts a course for said dinner in his or her home.
This is what's supposed to leave Mullholland Estates' massive audience in cliff-hanger type suspense until the show comes back next season?
Well, maybe if one of the hosts had an orgy to go with her lemon meringue pie, then, maybe, we'd watch.
But trust, that ain't happenin', and, for that, we say this bland drivel is what the performers should be in a near-riot about, not some silly day off here and there.
And It Ain't: Modern Family, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Parks and Recreation

Top suspects: Desperate Housewives cast

Update April 14 - Ted has revealed this BV as the Desperate Housewives cast, and states that it was particularly normally nice cast member Kathryn Joosten that was joining in.

Page Six - Just Asking - 4.5.11

2011-04-08T17:59:00.000-04:00

This was from the NY Post Page Six on Tuesday -

Which Hollywood power duo should keep iPhones out of the bedroom when they're swinging? The fit couple, who already have a reputation for inviting others into their sex life, were recently the subject of a camera-phone photo shoot that's being passed around at swanky New York dinner parties. Hopefully for them their compromising pictures aren't coming soon to a computer near you . . . WHICH singer's team is desperately trying to cover up the fact that a recent nose job has totally altered the voice?

Then Thursday Ted did a little write-up in the Awful Truth discussing who it could be... read on.

This is fun. Remember when we tried to guess the New York Post's "Just Asking" item about which married actor was waiting to ditch his wife until after the Oscars?
‘Course, that never turned out to be true, but maybe this one will? Page Six is now reporting that a certain athletically inclined, high-profile Hollywood couple have been spicing up their sex life by inviting others along for the ride. And an iPhone camera apparently recorded all the hot action!
The pictures, it turns out, are now making their way from famous cell phones to cell phones and are the talk of many a New York dinner party.
Gosh, who could it be?
Let's narrow this scandalous situation down together, kids. Surely, its not...
Fergie and Josh Duhamel, who although they fit the bill for "athletically inclined," have fought back against trouble-in-paradise rumors to recently appear stronger than ever. I mean, we've seen how Fergie shakes it onstage, and we know Joshy has a penchant for um, fun, girls, but these two seem totally into each other right now. Right?
And certainly it couldn't be...
David and Victoria Beckham, who are currently expecting their fourth child, so we don't think the pics are quite that kinky. We know Big D has an eye for the gals, but we don't think he's stupid enough to have some kind electronic swingers party like this—and even if he were, the dude would have his security team sweep the room for all gadgets, first, right?
And please, it mustn't be...
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Remember how famous-man magnet Brittney Jonesclaimed to have had sex with Ashton on Demi's couch and then tried to sell a sex tape of herself using Ashton's name? And then she sold his alleged sweater on Ebay? Yeah, whether he is guilty or not, we think Brittney scared Ashton into never permitting any kind of documenting of his sexcapades. Like the boy above, pretty sure he'd take great measures to avert something were he to decide to swing with Demi (or not).
So, it's somebody else, then? Hmmm. Now that we think about it, pretty sure we know who this famous, frisky couple is! One of our Blind Vice superstars or at least one of the occasional starring members? Yep. The latter.

Any other thoughts? Discuss in comments...

Big elimination raises issues...

2011-04-06T22:15:00.001-04:00

I know we are a few days behind on this... but Ted has given us a pretty big elimination the other day.

Dear Ted:
I know it's been a long time, but who are Judas Jack-Off and Dash Dingle-Dream, anyway? I miss you talking about them. I still think they are Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, but whatever.
—I Miss JJO and DDD

Dear Keep On Missing:
There is nothing there, and I mean nothing new. And they still aren't your dream couple. Sorry about it. Some day when it hits you, you'll chuckle to yourself, promise.

So... #1 there goes our top suspects for JJO and DDD. We had suspected in recent months that Ted was messing with Supernatural fans on that one. Looking back to Hayden Christensen again.

And issue #2 - then who are Jared and Jensen's BVs? Becuase Ted has repeatedly confirmed them as being BVs in the past. We have a lot of re-thinking to do.

See labels below for related posts.

Bonus Blind: Morgan Mayhem Thinks We're Idiots!

2011-04-06T21:51:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the delay. It's been a crazy week so far. This was new from Ted on Monday...

Bonus Blind: Morgan Mayhem Thinks We're Idiots!

What's a party girl to do when she returns to the scene but isn't allowed to play like she used to? Hmmm. Poor over-indulged (and over-exposed) Morgan Mayhem is suffering such a dilemma.
But the good news is, she's back! On the club circuit! Where she belongs!
Problem is, Morgan just can't lay off the booze—hard as she's tried. But our girl is making progress, promise. See, to help sorta try and clean up her incredibly filthy act, M.M. has completely and totally sworn off...
Cocaine!
But how long can this last? Morgan is putting herself in the exact same situations that led her down the path to rehab. And by surrounding herself with party friends from the past, Morgan barely has a shot at staying off the sauce. Or the powder.
Picture it: a dark Hollywood nightclub with music pumping through the speakers as heavily as air conditioning cools off the spoiled club rats who inhabit it. The party is already in full force as Morgan breezes past the paparazzi's flashbulbs on her way inside and tucks into a black leather booth in the back corner of the room.
Where there are...two bottles of Grey Goose, a pitcher of cranberry juice, one of tonic water and a bowl of limes. All chilled. All gratis. So, Morgan's friends immediately pop open the vodka and start pouring themselves doubles. Morgan's tall blonde girlfriend pours two drinks, one for her and one for Morgan, who obviously cannot be seen anywhere near the vodka bottles.
"It's water!" Morgan hisses at a college-age girl in a Bebe minidress ready to take a pic with her cell phone and send to the rest of her sorority.
But Morgan needs the extra liquid tonight, as she's got an ex in the room and everyone is feeling très awkward about it. So tonight, Morgan just pours herself some extra "clear liquid" and stays away from the powder that is being offered to her discreetly in friend's purses and during frequent trips to the bathroom.
Because Morgan's told her friends: It is her mission to keep those poor, damaged nostrils of hers blow-free.
Uh, then why hang in clubs where nose candy flows like Russell Brand's seminal fluid?
Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before M is back to her old, jaded tricks. I mean, really, it's the equivalent of an Overeaters Anonymous member taking a cruise with 24/7 buffets on every level. Why torture yourself like this, Morgan?
Because you don't really want to clean up your act?
Yeah, we already knew that.
AND IT AIN'T: Cristina Aguilera, Paris Hilton, Mischa Barton

Please refer to the label below for a link to our many previous posts on Morgan Mayhem.

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

Blind Vice: A Sad Story With an Even Sadder End

2011-04-01T12:34:00.013-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: A Sad Story With an Even Sadder End

Gorgeous star Sally Pearlsmyth and her equally stunning celeb partner, Percy DuBois, had a nasty breakup not long ago. That was enough to shed a tear over in itself, as they really did seem like the perfect, hot Hollywood couple. You know, when two lookers like Ryan Reynolds and Scarlet Johansson can't make it work, it puts more of an onus on folks like Sally and Percy to bring the sexy back to yummy couples.
And oh, how they tried. In fact, they tried so hard...
Sally ended up getting pregnant, even though neither star was trying to start a family just yet.
Both parents were shocked, to say the least.
However, one of the parents was more pleased by the news than the other: Percy. He was thrilled and delighted and didn't take crap from anybody who thought otherwise (like certain friends who questioned if this was a good time in his career to play pops).
Sally, on the other (less) domesticated hand, relied on countless people to help make up her mind about what to do. She asked all her representatives about it, and each one told the looker with the flowing mane the same thing: end the pregnancy. Not good timing, and all that job-oriented stuff. No one really seemed to care about Sally, the woman.
Like, maybe the answer should have been: "This is your business, not ours. It's your decision to make."
But when has anybody in Hollywood ever not taken advantage of a chance to force their way and opinion on somebody? Never!
So, over the great objections of Percy, Sally ended her pregnancy. And soon after, Percy and Sally ended their relationship, many blaming Percy for being, well, not exactly the ideal mate.
Yeah, as always, there's two sides to every story.
AND IT AIN'T: Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

Update: as of 7/3/11, Ted has eliminated Taylor Swift & Jake Gyllenhaal, Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron, Eva Longoria & Tony Parker, Blake Lively & Penn Badgley, Blake Lively, Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake, Ashley Greene & Joe Jonas, Mila Kunis & Macaulay Culkin, Sophia Bush, Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper, Ashley Olsen & Justin Bartha, Annalynne McCord & Kellan Lutz, Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr & Ed Westwick, Katie Cassidy, Christina Aguilera, Demo Lovato, Taylor Swift, Carey Mulligan & Shia LaBeouf, Reese Witherspoon & Jake Gyllenhal, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Lawrence, Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams, Olivia Wilde.

Top suspects: Dianna Agron & Alex Pettyfer

Lainey: One line or two lines?

2011-03-30T20:42:00.007-04:00

New riddle from Lainey today -

One line or two lines?

Which young star was spotted picking up a pregnancy test during her next promotional stop? She’s officially single right now, but toying with the idea of new boyfriend though it remains to be seen whether or not he’s just a convenient distraction for publicity or the real deal. Or maybe it’s a leftover from the ex after a farewell hookup?

Needless to say, with that kind of purchase, someone’s been in there. And they may have not been careful, although I guess it shouldn’t surprise me anymore that getting knocked up is a career strategy these days. Naïve as it sound however in her case I just can’t see it. Too young, not ready. Which means I hope her test comes back negative. Because otherwise, obviously, it’s a lot of drama to take care of.

Update 3/30 Lainey has eliminated Amanda Seyfried

Top suspect: Vanessa Hudgens

New from Lainey 3/29/11: Even B List needs a beard

2011-03-29T20:30:00.004-04:00

New from Lainey

Even B-List needs a beard

It’s not just the super elite actors, the film stars, who need to beard and pretend. Even the lower ranking ones do too. Calling him B List might be a little generous, but he has had his share of magazine covers, is the face of a few shows, and is surprisingly entrepreneurial, with successful projects across several other platforms, all banking on looks and virility. While I can’t personally see it, his appeal is strong enough that it has overcome his reputation as a chronic philanderer whose wife left him because he couldn’t stay faithful. It was always assumed that he was cheating with women. And in a way, given his sex symbol image, that may have worked for him.

But what if the cheating was with men? One night in New York, he was on the receiving end of a very enthusiastic blow job from a very enthusiastic young giver who was clearly not his baby mother because his baby mother is, obviously, not a boy. The baby mother very likely knows though. After all, it wouldn’t be an arrangement that she’d be unfamiliar with, given where they met. Still, dude, if you’re keeping that kind of secret, and you hit up a bar to get blown, you may want to tip the staff a little better than you do. Because they are talking. And it’s not like people haven’t been wondering this about you for a long, long time anyway.

Update Lainey has eliminated -

Top suspect - Mario Lopez

Rest In Peace, Elizabeth Taylor. Plus, a BV exposed...

2011-03-25T16:47:00.007-04:00

We will miss Elizabeth Taylor no doubt. Yesterday, Ted wrote a lovely piece about his visit to her home. He slyly revealed her as Margarita Screwed-Em-All in the process! Read on...

The Day Elizabeth Taylor Seduced Me - by Ted Casablanca 3/24/11

I had seen Elizabeth Taylor several times since our first meeting in 1992, and she was always as she was that first day: breathtakingly captivating.
I worked for Premiere magazine at the time, and I was doing a piece on her absurdly successful second career as a businesswoman hawking perfume. Her first, Elizabeth Taylor's Passion, was such hideous stuff I would use it to freshen up the litter box.
But then, she launched White Diamonds, which was a genius scent that catapulted Elizabeth (never Liz) into mega-businesswoman stardom. Taylor made zillions off the stuff. And so with more faxes, phone calls, letters and rearranged appointments than I would imagine it would take to interview the president of the Unites States of America, I finally drove through the gates of Taylor's Bel-Air estate:
She was incredibly late. I sat in that living room just down from Nancy Regan's pad for a couple of hours.
But I was grateful for the chance to calm down. I had always admired Taylor greatly for being an outspoken Hollywood broad, not to mention a talented film actress and exceptional beauty. As a rule, I don't get gushy or nervous with celebs, but I was anxious.
I also got a chance to really study her décor. The pad was loaded with priceless paintings (her father was an art dealer) grouped very warmly around over the sofa. Nothing grand about it. Those Van Goghs were there for the enjoyment, right up front, nothing was austere, hands-off or coldly at a distance. Brass deer were lying at the fireplace. Dogs were running in and out of the patio doors, which opened onto the small green lawn. It was all kind of kitschy, warm and cool.
This was not a stuffy star's overly decorated home, made up for a magazine spread: this was Taylor's family ranch-style pad, meant to be enjoyed.
I smelled her before I saw her.
Suddenly, Taylor bolted in wearing high-heel boots and a purple blouse, nothing fussy. She was luminous and looked to be wearing what appeared to be little-boy's blue jeans, she was so tiny—the last period in her life she was truly a curvy little thing. Masses of amethysts were around her neck and wrists. No diamonds, I was hugely disappointed.
But that changed as soon as Elizabeth opened her mouth:
She talked about how pissed she was that she still had to work so hard at bringing people around to help with AIDS. Resting under one of her masterpieces, Taylor mentioned in particular a businessman she met at a recent fundraiser. The man had asked her if it was true you could only get AIDS through the rectum.
Taylor's heavily made-up violet eyes squinted as she repeated what she told the man: "No, dear, through the vaginal juices, too."
That's what Elizabeth did best: shock and talk sense at the same time.
She told me how much she loved taking a break from Hollywood, which she found "childish." The business world better suited her, she said, as it was more "grown up."
Taylor also intimated her life with Sen. John Warner (husband No. 7) was boring as crap, and, she said that Richard Burton was the love of her life. This is no secret.
She said she loved playing Cleopatra because she was such a "smart" woman, and she got a particular kick out of the fact Egypt's ruler was such an "incredibly homely woman," and how ironic it all was.
But Taylor was hardly conceited. She told me she hated her short legs, envied tall, svelte women like no one else's business. She also said "no woman ever gets tired of being told she's beautiful." She smiled and invited me to a taping of a talk show she was doing that night. I was so enchanted I'd have done anything she asked at that point.
Even though Elizabeth became frail and sometimes hard to understand, you couldn't stop looking at her. The last time I saw her was at the Macy's Passport AIDS/HIV fundraiser in 2009. She could barely read the prompter in front of her onstage and some nasty people near me were taking pictures and snickering.
I thought it was particularly mean treatment of the movie legend—who was the first to rally against AIDS in Hollywood when her good friend Rock Hudson succumbed to the disease. That salty legend took a stand when nobody else had to the guts to do anything. She deserved much more. Especially for still continuing her AIDS work, even when her health really wasn't up to it.
And for that, I say Elizabeth was as beautiful when she died as she was—-always.

Note, the Bel-Air estate, fancy gates, the tacky art, the brass deer (underlined in this post). Here is an excerpt of her MSEA BV which reads similarly:

Instead, M-babe stays home at her art-filled mansion (which is a little on the tacky side, I must say, unless you prefer brass deer next to your masterpieces and that sort of overpriced mishmash style). However, she loves to receive. Particularly the gays.

Just as we suspected, she is Margarita Screwed-Em-All. Follow this link to read the rest of her shared BV with Fey Oiled-Tush.

Blind Vice! Cookie Muncher Has a Taste for Lady Parts

2011-03-25T14:25:00.020-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Cookie Muncher Has a Taste for Lady Parts

Last week when we told you King Schlong had fooled around with another male celeb for a bit when he was younger, many of you were shocked. Our King is gay?
Just because he diddled a dude once or twice doesn't mean he's a homo, folks. As if! Sometimes fooling around with the same sex is a way to pass the time.
Just ask Cookie Muncher. This superstar has everything: a hunky husband, flawless bod, perfect face...and a taste for women.
No, she's not a lesbian. She just doesn't mind doing the girl-on-girl thing to turn her man—or partygoers—on. Babe knows how to a have a fun time, what can I say.
While at a raging Hollywood house party a while back, Ms. Muncher was dancing up a storm on the pool table.
She always has a way of making sure all eyes are on her (as if being one of the most beautiful women in the world had another affect on people).
So, Cookie Muncher decides to strip off all her clothes while dancing, to the giant applause from the crowd.
Another gal at the party thought that clearly looked like a fun idea. So she decided to take off her clothes and get up on the table with Cookie.
We'll let our stunned party source take it from here:
"Before you knew it, Cookie threw the other naked girl on the table and just started going down on her. For a while too! The crowd went crazy."
Now you know where "munch" comes from.
As for her husband, he looked on lovingly as ever, obviously.
If a guy were to give another guy a blowjob in the middle of a similar party, people would freak. Why is it so much more of a big deal for a dude to dabble than a girl?
And It Ain't: Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham

Update 11/26/11 - Ted has eliminated Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham, Kelly Preston, Megan Fox, Jada Pinkett Smith, Christina Aguilera, Tina Fey, Gisele Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Reese Witherspoon, Alessandra Ambrosio, Brooke Shields, Brooklyn Decker, Claudia Schiffer, Mel B, Rebecca Romijn, Naomi Campbell, Iman, Camilla Alves, Elle McPherson, Miranda Kerr, Tyra Banks, Adriana Lima, Christy Turlington, Fergie, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Penelope Cruz, Carmen Electra, Demi Moore, Christy Brinkley, Vanessa Williams, Kendra Wilkinson, Marcia Cross, Vanessa Marcil, Teri Hatcher, Angie Harmon, Rebecca Gayheart, Elisabetta Canalis, Sandra Bullock, Britney Spears, Rihanna, Anna Paquin, May Andersen, Demi Moore

Please see the label below for a link to our post on the most recent Cookie Muncher BV.

Top suspect: Cindy Crawford

Blind Vice: Who Is Priscilla's Burnt-Up Ex?

2011-03-22T11:45:00.005-04:00

New BV from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Who Is Priscilla's Burnt-Up Ex?

Priscilla Desert may have dated more gay men than most gay men have, but she has a few semi-straight ones under her belt.
Ms. P was in a relationship a few years ago with an equally talented and age-appropriate counterpart, but things didn't exactly end so smoothly.
So are the two cool now? Um, hardly...

While out at a Hollywood party recently, Desert's ex was hanging with a bevy of beauties.

"Isn't my friend cute?" one of the babes hanging with the dude asked him. "She looks just like [Priscilla Desert]. People tell her that all the time."

P's ex totally freaked out the moment her name was brought up.
"Don't you ever, ever f--king bring that name up around me again," the usually chill dude snapped. "Ever. You hear me?"

All the gals were totally shocked at his freakout. Sure, his temper caught them by surprise, but that wasn't the only thing.

The chicks are gossip savvy, natch, and when Priscilla and this guy broke up, she had been the one to play the woe is me card in the media.

P.D. totally threw her flame under the bus, something he was not expecting her to do quite so publicly (it's kinda why we heart that devil Desert).

From what we're gathering now about their breakup, we hear she was hardly an angel during the time the two were together.

Somehow her ex managed to take the high road, never commenting on all the negative crap she said about him. Well, until recently.

And It Ain't: Lindsay Lohan, Renée Zellweger, Mila Kunis

Refer to the label below for the links to our previous PD BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Taylor Swift

Burnt-Up Ex: Joe Jonas

Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic's Getting Careless

2011-03-22T11:37:00.004-04:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic's Getting Careless

Crotch Uh-Lastic is continuing his downward, totally bizarre spiral.

As if tweaking out in the day and running on zero sleep wasn't damaging enough to that pretty bod of his, now Crotch is tampering with something we never used to worry about: his career.

Seems those concerned friend's of his have reason to worry after all...

Recently CUL agreed to make a guest appearance on a friend's website. Crotch is really quite funny, especially in skits like this. At least he used to be.

A source on the scene dishes that Lastic strolled in, totally unprepared and was completely unprofessional: "He shows up, and he hadn't read the script yet—which he had agreed to already have done. In the show he was supposed to be parodying his own persona. It was nothing too offensive, but he did one take, didn't think it was funny, and walked off set."

Apparently on his way out he called everyone on the crew "a bunch of nerds" and left his professional acquaintances high and dry.
There was another celebrity involved in the clip, and he had to pick up all of Crotch's slack.
This is so disturbing! Crotchy is one freaking talented dude, whether he's making us laugh or cry.
And to top it off, he's a totally nice guy. At least he was. We never heard of him being unprofessional in the many years he has been in this business. It's clear that no sleep is affecting this hunk muffin in a major way.
Wake up, dude, you've been given a great opportunity. To throw your talent and reputation away like this is a total copout. Just come out already! It's clear your guy on guy dalliances are taking a major toll on you.
Plus, it's not that damaging of a secret. Tons of people in H'wood know you're into guys and don't friggin' care!

And It Ain't: 50 Cent, Will Smith, Sean Penn

Refer to the label below for our other posts on the previous CUL BVs, including a full list of who has been elimianted.

Top suspect: James Franco

Lainey Blind Item: Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl

2011-03-22T09:08:00.007-04:00

New riddle from Lainey yesterday

Ladies' Room Encounter with That Girl

She’s the girl who isn’t friendly with the other girls when they go out with the guys. In a large group, she rarely speaks to females. Instead, she focuses all of her attention on the men – attempts to impress them by spewing out facts she’s read in the newspaper, verbatim, without much analysis, as they try to look at her breasts. During her last relationship, whenever she was in a multi-couple situation, she’d make no attempt to engage the other women. Rather, she’d spend most of her time flirting with the boyfriends and husbands, careful not to cross the line, but not exactly hiding the fact that her preferred company is male.

But she’s not only not a girls’ girl, she’s also That Girl. The kind of girl who only knows how to put other girls down. She was in the ladies’ room recently at a private event, a private no-fans non-civilian event, standing next to an industry type at the counter. The other woman complimented her on her appearance, something to effect of: that’s a great dress, it looks amazing on you …

And her answer?

Hear this with a sneer:

“Is this the moment when I’m supposed to tell you that you look good too?”

And walked away.

Friends? Please. Her “friends” are either relatives or assistants. Because otherwise, really, why would you ever want to be?

It’s not Katherine Heigl. It’s not Kate Hudson.

Update - As of 3/25/11, Lainey has eliminated Katherine Heigl, Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth, Jessica Biel., Jen Aniston, Victoria Beckham, Sienna Miller, Olivia Munn, Anne Hathaway, Megan Fox, Rachel McAdams

Top suspect: Scarlett Johansson

Blind Vice: Sorry Girls, King Schlong Isn't All Yours

2011-03-18T16:19:00.012-04:00

New from Ted 3/18/11 -

Blind Vice: Sorry Girls, King Schlong Isn't All Yours

Totally lovable (but totally slutty) King Schlong is a heartbreaker on so many levels, certain Hollywood women are now discovering. Not only has King stepped out on his current super-hot GF (many times), turns out he's also been rather adept at stepping out on the whole female race!
Here's what went down just this week:
Schlong's never been any good at keeping that extremely popular salami of his zipped up, this is a well-known, barely kept Hollywood secret. No surprise there.
But what was a shocker for one of King's avid, young and lusting female fans was the following:
Gorgeous Hollywood insider babe was talking to veteran Hollywood producer gal. "I just love King," she breathlessly confessed to the older woman, "and he's all man. That's what I love about him the most. Such a stud."
"Uh, honey," replied the more seasoned broad, who has worked with King in the past on one of his many A-list projects, "he's not exactly the man you think he is."
"What...what do you mean?" asked the younger T-town gal, who feared the worst (she considered), and pretty much got it.
"A few years ago, I walked in on King and [fellow A-list movie heartthrob], and they were just going at it in bed. So, look, he may be all man, but he doesn't mind sharing it with another man, get it?"
"No!" screamed the frightened woman, as if a man who sleeps with other men in Tinseltown is some kind of anomaly, far from it! "He's not...not gay, is he?"
"No, he's not gay gay," answered the producer-type, who was almost pitifully laughing at her dejected colleague. "But he sleeps with guys when he feels like it. Just don't think he's felt like in a while!"
The broken King fan was feeling a little better after hearing this news but, we gotta say we just don't get this hypocritical BS.
Why is it when women like Angelina Jolie say they've slept with other women, men think it's hot as hell, but when women hear it about men who have done the same with their own sex, they get all grossed out?
Totally sexist. Aren't women supposed to be the more evolved sex, anyway?
It Ain't: Chris O'Donnell, Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey

See Labels for previous King Schlong Blind Item, including list of Ted's eliminations.
Top Suspect: Leo DiCaprio

Blind Vice! Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?

2011-03-14T15:53:00.004-04:00

New from Ted today. I have to say, Ted is being very obvious lately. Also re-using a lot of existing BV names. Just sayin'...

Blind Vice! Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?

Does Jerry Rock-Butt have monogamy in him, after all?
Jerry had a permanent hall pass—you know, cheat whenever he likes but come home to the missus at night and on red carpets—with Chutney Jones. Nice deal, right? But it turns out he's traded it in for a shot at someone he thinks is the real thing.
So who is JRB's potential new leading lady?
Meet Kiki Doheny, the object of Jerry's desire.
Kiki and Rock-Butt have known each other for a while and have kept it friendly until recently.
See, Jerry thought he could make Ms. Doheny another notch on his heavy belt just by batting those pretty lashes of his.
Not with this broad.
She has deftly blue-balled him every step of their friendship, so this, of course, only makes Kiki more desirable.
Finally he couldn't take it anymore and asked what he can do to win her affections?
K.D. demanded he completely break up with Chutney like stat or else she would never give it up.
So what did Jerry Rock-Butt do? Babes, it wasn't even a question.
He ditched his long-time love and hasn't looked back.
Wonder how long it took until Kiki and Jerry had mattress playtime?
Actually, the real question is whether they can sustain a new A-list relationship purely on the fact they are so hot for each other.
Or will Chutney Jones get the final laugh?
We hear she's been flirting up a storm with Saucy Bossy, remember him? A B.V. star who has an award Jerry Rock-Butt would kill for.
Ms. Jones sure does have a thing for the bisexual ones, I swear.
And it Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Jay-Z, Mark Ruffalo

Please see our label below for the previous Jerry Rock-Butt and Chutney Jones BVs; also the previous Saucy Bossy BV; including a full list of who has been eliminated for each.

Top suspects:

Jerry Rock-Butt - Justin Timberlake

Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel

Kiki Doheny - Mila Kunis OR Olivia Wilde

Saucy Bossy -Jamie Foxx

Lainey - Who would want to work with this?

2011-03-14T15:41:00.003-04:00

New riddle from Lainey today -

Who would want to work with this?

She’s long had a reputation for being absolute hell to work with. I mean like straight up crazy. Leaves her sh-t, sometimes literally, everywhere, specifies exact times when people can or cannot talk to her, is foaming at the mouth insane one minute, calm and collected the next. Lately her opportunities have dried up. And this is a good example of why.

Press junket. A handler has to make sure she wakes up in the morning. Because she’s not a proper adult? She finds her completely out of it. Has to put her in the shower and HOLD HER UP. Picture that please. A grown woman having to be physically SUPPORTED in the shower to make sure she can go and do her JOB. She then had to be spoon fed her breakfast. And she had to be dressed. Like, let’s put on your socks! Finally they get her to the point where she can be seen in public. A journalist is soon expected for an interview. Through it all she’s still a f-cking zombie.

Soon as the reporter comes into the room though, a switch goes off. She’s alive. She’s engaging. She can speak in proper sentences. And you can imagine, for the people who’ve experienced this, who’ve had to work with her, who have to manage the unpredictability of this, how scary it must be, how utterly unsettling, even more unsettling than most of her peers. And in her business, that’s a pretty high standard.

Update: As of 3/16/11, Lainey has eliminated: Liv Tyler, Maria Bello

Top suspect: ?

Blind Vice: Who's Paying Cruella to Keep Quiet?

2011-03-11T19:26:00.005-05:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Who's Paying Cruella to Keep Quiet?

In case you're all feeling sorry for poor Marky Sweet-Puss—the talented, put-upon husband to the notoriously demanding and overly controlling Cruella St. Shackles—well, don't stop. He needs all the help (and prayers) he can get.
But just wanted to let you all know that Marky's hardly the only man in Cruella's labyrinth-filled past of scheming personal vendettas and bossed-around men.
In fact, she's still getting paid off by...
Another magnificently rich (and just as ambitious) Blind Vice Superstar! Someone, say, somewhere between the ages of 33 and 49 and a half? Pretty good-looking dude, too. But, they had an awfully rough break-up.
So much so, Cruella, who's always looking to get a leg up—just as much as an extra buck or two—signed a deal with this handsome movie star for him to pay her for life. What for, you ask?
To not reveal any of this chiseled guy's deep secrets, which friends say, at this point, he's convinced even himself he doesn't have any more! The man is in such colossal denial, Toothy Tile would be impressed, we're certain!
And Cruella was counting on this stupid lack of introspection when she made her departure deal, once she and her ex broke up. She knew this would be a good little trust fund, if she just always kept her trap shut, which she always has. Consequently, Cruella, to this day, receives very nice checks with lotso zeroes. Every friggin' month.
Jeez. Must be nice. Get all the money you can from the last cuckolded dude while you're still taking it from the current one! Of course, Cruella knows it's a dirty two-way street, and that last lover of hers could also make life very uncomfortable for her. This is actually a stronger possibility than vice versa, but, don't think St. Shackles last man (who's actually damn lucky to be outta her life, and he knows it) has the gumption to pull it off right now, maybe later (let's hope).
Still, this woman Cruella should get an Oscar for the private performances she pulls.
Or, at least a mention in Forbes richest Hollywood heathens.
It Ain't: Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johansson

Please see the labels below for our other posts on the previous Cruella and Marky BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

Superstar Ex: Tom Cruise

Blind Vice: Red Hot Strippa Caged By Angry Douche!

2011-03-08T12:41:00.003-05:00

New from Ted yesterday March 7 -

Blind Vice: Red Hot Strippa Caged By Angry Douche!

Last time we checked in on Strippa Rip-Ya, her sad story was getting worse.
That abusive hubby of hers, Caesar Anchovy-Arse, was causing a drunk ruckus by showing up to a photo shoot where he proceeded to take his verbal barrage semi-public by pointing out all her flaws in front of work colleagues.
So did Rip-Ya's shocked acquaintances ever say anything to her?
Some tried.
"She's in more denial than she ever has been," dishes a source close to SRY who is familiar with the sad, sad sitch.
Continues the concerned pal:
"Her career is red hot right now, so she just won't hear anyone out. She thinks if she ignores the problem long enough it will just go away."
But it won't, as long as she's with that dude of hers.
Sure, since she's the bigger celeb in the marriage you would think that would make Caesar pipe down and—more importantly—lay off, but it doesn't.
We may not be experts at anything but gossip, but if you ask us the higher Strippa's star rises, the worse her situation will be at home.
Anchovy-Arse is a twerp and an abuser. He's a total loser, so, the only way he feels he can show he's the man of the household (since he's not the money maker) is to show it physically.
It's just horrible—and so Paleozoic Era. Why doesn't he just use his club to express himself, instead of that nasty-ass mouth of his. Not to mention his hands.
It's going to take a serious injury before Strippa gets it through her head this guy is bad news for her and her kids.
But denial is a dangerous place to be in, and right now SRP has set up shop.

And it Ain't: Kendra Wilkinson, Natalie Portman, Christina Aguilera

Please see the label below for our posts on the previous SRY and CAA BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

Blind Vice: Crotch Uh-Lastic Losing Sleep As Well As His Mind?

2011-03-05T12:21:00.001-05:00

This was new from Ted yesterday March 4 -

Blind Vice: Crotch Uh-Lastic Losing Sleep As Well As His Mind?

The secret is that Crotch Uh-Lastic is the real badass in the bedroom. Charlie Sheen wishes he had the originality, hotness and stamina this guy has—no three-minute sex for our handsome Crotch!
But there remains a problem with Crotchy, and it isn't that he's not getting enough sleep or that he picked up some muscle dude who didn't exactly sign a confidentiality agreement.
It's something far more serious:
Friends to Crotch really think he might be losing his mind.
Sleep deprivation, for instance, can't suddenly lead to screwing women when you've shown no inclination toward doing so in the past. Uh-Lastic's pals were totally going "WTF, dude?" when they found out Crotch had done it with a chick recently. Really, that is so Toothy Tile and completely beneath Crotch's strong convictions to never live his life for the public. (He's insisted this to friends many times.)
Maybe he was just curious?
Bat-s--t bonkers and totally out of his gourd, is more like it. Crotch's friends are truly worried that their talented bud is less and less himself these days. Angry. Sullen. More tired than ever. Not even fun to be around when he gets high, which is a lot—more so than usual, lately, too.
Now he's having sex with a woman, whereas he's only had sex with guys in the past, and chewing out his friends, too.
"He's totally lost it," as one of Mr. Uh-Lastic's amigos put it.
Or is he just getting worried about that career of his?
Hmmm. We'll have to see about this one.
AND IT AIN'T: Jake Gyllenhaal, Justin Timberlake, Alexander Skarsgård

Please see the label below for our posts on the many previous CUL BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: James Franco

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Screws Hot TV Guy, Oh No!

2011-02-28T20:30:00.003-05:00

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Screws Hot TV Guy, Oh No!

Darlings, if you're on overload from all the glitz yesterday, you're in luck! We've got some nice, down-home, dirty slut action for ya!
She-Devil Dees (who will get an Oscar nomination about as soon as I do, the little TV tramp) has been angling her latest conquest. Girl really does climb on top of dudes better than she does television roles, but hey, that's not so unusual in this town.
So who is She-Devil crowing loudly about this time—and what particular body part?
A stud from the hottest show in the world! Can you believe it?
We can, as we'd expect nothing less from SDD, who only likes to move on the hottest guys around. And she usually can, too, as her bod's totally bitchin'.
Since She-Devil's already tired of her latest bed conquests, it makes complete sense she's now succeeding in seducing a very talented (and cute) dude from the hit show.
They met in L.A. recently at a party, and true to form, Ms. Dees lost no time in taking him right home and ripping both their clothes off.
In a moment that's worth far more notice than most of She's oncamera performances, She-Devil breathlessly whispered to her new man: "You're about to f--k the p--sy that every guy in Hollywood wants."
Wow. Who writes this chick's dialog, Charlie Sheen?
Do straight guys actually go for that porn talk? Never mind. We already know the answer because said guy did...did again...and will do again.
Maybe he'll only stop when he realizes She-Devil's the one who's been calling the paparazzi, who just happen to be around, no matter how stealth they try to be?
Yep, that's what it's gonna take.
And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens

Please see the label below for our post on the previous SDD BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Olivia Munn

Hot TV Guy: Matthew Morrison

Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again

2011-02-25T14:32:00.002-05:00

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again

We are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.
Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She's just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?
Adding to Lucretia's woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.
See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.
Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn't know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has "no intention" of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.
In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he's still sleeping with his ex!
At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex's new high-profile romance:
"He has been f--king me practically during their whole relationship."
If that wasn't bad enough, apparently Lucretia's dude (who's blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how "disgusted" he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.
Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She's completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she's just being used.
Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia's back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.
Could this get any grosser?
Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It's only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.
And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears

Please see the label below for our post on the other LJ BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera