tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post1247201758540694143..comments2023-11-03T11:44:05.173-04:00Comments on Blind Items Exposed: Blind Vice: Which Vampire's Batty for Boys?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger265125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-37305844750283260052011-09-11T17:04:56.181-04:002011-09-11T17:04:56.181-04:00REPEAT ELIM
"Dear Ted:
Kellan Lutz has got t...REPEAT ELIM<br /><br />"Dear Ted:<br />Kellan Lutz has got to be Nelly Fang, right? I mean, the roommates, Craig's List....I'm mixing up my Vices. I just read this and it rang all sorts of bells <br /><br />in my head. The Vice with the guy that looked up another guy online, showed up...I can't remember. But Lutz is a big-time Vicer, right? The very idea that <br /><br />Lutz is getting a little boy-on-boy action on the side is so effing hot my mind is sweating.<br />—Wanda<br /><br />Dear Scatterbrained:<br />You're definitely mixing up your monikers, W, ‘cause you're thinking of our dear friend Crescent Kumquat, not old Nell. That said, you're right and you're <br /><br />wrong. Kell is no stranger to the Vice vault but he isn't Cres. Or Nelly for that matter.<br />"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-26781979889023916192011-08-26T13:34:50.646-04:002011-08-26T13:34:50.646-04:00"Dear Ted:
Why are people so hung up on the f..."Dear Ted:<br />Why are people so hung up on the fact that Nelly Fang is bisexual? Who cares? The disturbing part of this Blind Vice is the bad porno sex talk, the cheating and "The Captain." So not sexy. Sleep with whomever you want, just be a man and not a sleazy teenage boy. If Nelly is who I think he is, I thought he had an intelligent, strong silent thing going on, was I wrong?<br />—JennyT<br /><br />Dear Sleaze Factor:<br />It's that same old double standard, doll. If Nelly were a chick, everyone would think it was totally cool (and probably pretty damn hot) that he went both ways. But he's a guy, which is totally taboo. As for your Q, you're not totally wrong. Nell has a handsome, stoic mug, but he's not the brightest bulb in the box. Clearly."<br /><br />"Dear Ted:<br />Lucky, my foster pit bull, and I were so disappointed by last week's True Blood! I can handle a little disappointment because at least I got to see Bill and Eric sinking their fangs into delicious Sookie at the same time. But poor Lucky has had two surgeries, two yet to come, and is still struggling to put on weight, so I want to help him feel better. If you gave him one solid clue about Alexander Skarsgård's Blind Vice, it would put a big ol' pit bull grin on his<br />face.<br />—Ducky<br /><br />Dear Sucker for Suckers:<br />C'mon, doll, True Blood wasn't that bad. Hey, at least that whole bizarro baby ordeal is over with and Jessica and Jason got it on. Those are all pluses in my book! But since you sound like such a nice mama to your poor pooch, I'll tell ya this: Alex often likes to take his Vice between two of Madonna's former L.A. homes."<br /><br /><br />(DING DING DING!!! THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS!)<br /><br /><br />"Dear Ted:<br />I just can't get enough of Nelly Fang. His antics are hilarious and fun. Any new clues about who's met "The Captain" recently? Also, do you think Nelly and his publicist know you are writing about him? Do they simply not care?<br />—PaperKite<br /><br />Dear Searching for Tennille:<br />The Captain has kept plenty busy of late, rest assured, but Nelly is even busier, keeping his bed-hoppin' biz under wraps. Why? ‘Cause the delish dude knows that peeps are sniffing his sexy trail. Nelly isn't stupid, after all, and he doesn't want his Vicey secrets slipping to the pesky public."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-28069956909068038412011-08-06T10:37:24.334-04:002011-08-06T10:37:24.334-04:00"
Dear Ted:
There was a rumor that a main act..."<br />Dear Ted:<br />There was a rumor that a main actor from True Blood would be announcing that they are gay? The Vampire King got married recently, but is it someone else?<br />—Denise<br /><br />Dear Sexual Suckers:<br />Hmmm. I have someone on my mind, but doubts they're coming out anytime soon."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-35908885327006901712011-07-30T18:40:01.934-04:002011-07-30T18:40:01.934-04:00"
Dear Ted:
We both share a love for the deli..."<br />Dear Ted:<br />We both share a love for the delicious Alexander Skarsgård. But you, my dear, know his Blind Vice, while I am still in the dark. It is killing me. Please, <br /><br />please, please, throw me a bone (or anything). I need some info.<br />—TAL<br /><br />Dear SkarsVice:<br />It's not boring, that's for sure, but it's not really a Vice, either. Even though it's technically against the law."<br /><br />"Dear Ted:<br />You mentioned that Alex Skarsgård's Vice isn't that Vicey, but is illegal. Besides Alex, how many other True Blood Vicers are there and are their Vices just <br /><br />sexy or illegal, too?<br />—S<br /><br />Dear T.B. Debauchery:<br />Well anything that cast does is going to be sexy, right? But A.Skars is definitely not the only one who likes to take an occasional (OK, regular) walk on the <br /><br />wild side."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-53969139171436628882011-01-11T21:57:14.126-05:002011-01-11T21:57:14.126-05:00http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b2...http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b219791_caught_alexander_skarsgaringrd_leaves.htmlblurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-27128225393632745532010-12-29T11:21:27.713-05:002010-12-29T11:21:27.713-05:00"Dear Ted:
Love love love your column—so plea..."Dear Ted:<br />Love love love your column—so please tell me and my adorable puppy Crook if Eric Bana is a somewhat close guess to Nelly Fang...?<br />—Egg<br /><br />Dear Bana-way:<br />Nope, not close. Think more tabloid fare. Hugs!"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-7682891970890590922010-12-23T19:04:23.496-05:002010-12-23T19:04:23.496-05:00"Dear Ted:
Nelly Fang, Parrish Maguire, Tooth..."Dear Ted:<br />Nelly Fang, Parrish Maguire, Toothy Tile, Nevis Divine, and I feel like I'm missing one... Anyway, are any of these guys actually in love with their beards? If so, which one?<br />—Nizzle<br /><br />Dear Man Meat:<br />That's a hunky group of guys! I'd say Nelly is in lust (and he's not just getting it with the missus) and Nevis is in love. Again, I don't think the typical "beard" definition is correct when talking about Mr. Divine."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-46244537009087684862010-12-18T21:32:51.523-05:002010-12-18T21:32:51.523-05:00"Dear Ted:
What the hell is going on with you..."Dear Ted:<br />What the hell is going on with your comments about Skarsworth? You tell us they are pap whores, you make vague comments about his fandom headed downhill and then this week you blog about them like an obsessed fanboy...and tack on baby rumors, to boot.<br />—Bat girl<br /><br />Dear Jilted:<br />Haven't you ever been in a relationship with a blogger before? I never said they both were pap whores, just that their relationship was...convenient, and I'm sticking to it. That doesn't mean it's entirely fake, though."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-36741301053400092842010-12-14T13:29:15.409-05:002010-12-14T13:29:15.409-05:00http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b2...http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b216021_beautiful_babies_on_way_alexander.htmlblurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-71721043455480753672010-12-01T01:41:06.302-05:002010-12-01T01:41:06.302-05:00"Dear Ted:
Is Nelly Fang bi or just in the cl..."Dear Ted:<br />Is Nelly Fang bi or just in the closet?<br />—V<br /><br />Dear Random:<br />Nelly's so damn horny for anyone he's more bi. He still hooks up with girls...but guys, of course, too. How sinfully luxurious!"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-87524172707572672742010-11-05T19:43:23.887-04:002010-11-05T19:43:23.887-04:00"Dear Ted:
What's up with Nelly Fang? He ..."Dear Ted:<br />What's up with Nelly Fang? He seems to be behaving himself lately and it's boring. I would love some dirt. Can ya help a girl out? By the way, congrats on your three weeks of no-smoking success. Good for you!<br />—B<br /><br />Dear Fang-Overload:<br />You're right, B. Nell has been extra boring lately, which means there's almost no dirt to dish. He's way too focused on becoming a huge star right now, which means he's especially not into his old past time...humping hotties in the woods."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-81617725261231698852010-10-11T21:23:39.261-04:002010-10-11T21:23:39.261-04:00"Dear Ted:
Why do some celeb couples feel the..."Dear Ted:<br />Why do some celeb couples feel the need to deny they're together? I'm thinking of Skarsworth for example—they've been together for a year, but they try not to be shot together, and he always looks grumpy when spotted with her. She seems to love the paps and always smiles when they're spotted, so is the avoidance of the topic due to his desire to keep his personal life private? Or is the avoidance ploy to keep interest in them so they'll stay in the news?<br />—Blondie<br /><br />Dear Do Not Disturb:<br />Consider it the Robsten approach to romance: The more they try to brush off the paps, the more the paparazzi want to snap moments of their "über-secretive" relaysh. Both of these babes are très PR savvy, mind you, and Kate has never met a photog she didn't love."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-5065584552967672942010-10-08T18:54:49.716-04:002010-10-08T18:54:49.716-04:00"Dear Ted:
It looks like Alexander Skarsgård ..."Dear Ted:<br />It looks like Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth are still very much on, judging from the tweets about the two of them at a concert. I don't see how A.Skars can be a low-key kind of guy if he's really involved with publicity hound Bosworth. Were any of the relationship breakup rumors true? I have to say that nothing about the way Skars is handling his relationship. It smacks of a PR ploy because he didn't respond to the rumors in any way. And she's missed a lot of good pap opportunities—Emmy night and the Swedish trip. And at this point, they've been together a year.<br />—Disappointed<br /><br />Dear Skarsworth Redux:<br />Things were never officially over between the two, just...well, strained. So the breakup rumors weren't true, but weren't exactly false either. But trust, they're getting plenty of promotion if they want it or not. You're asking about ‘em after all, babe."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-70294602636676584272010-10-06T19:43:17.170-04:002010-10-06T19:43:17.170-04:00"Dear Ted:
Considering his rapid rise to fame..."Dear Ted:<br />Considering his rapid rise to fame in the past two years, you don't talk about Alexander Skarsgård all that much. Any new gossip on the sexy Swede? Has he dumped Kate Bosworth yet?<br />—Blondie<br /><br />Dear Alexander the Great:<br />Trust, doll, I talk about A.Skars every chance I can get, but that's the problem. The dude—as much as you may think otherwise—does actually prefer laying low. Almost makes me cry, 'cause I know what kind of naughty potential he has."blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-91826595821755620952010-10-06T17:07:25.344-04:002010-10-06T17:07:25.344-04:00"Dear Ted:
Love the Awful Truth Archive, than..."Dear Ted:<br />Love the Awful Truth Archive, thank you so much! Hope you can answer me these pretty simple questions: Does Nelly Fang have a beard (or a so-called girlfriend) now? If so, is she an actress or model?<br />—3 little pig<br /><br />TWITTER: Follow Ted!<br /><br />Dear Pig Wig or Beard?<br />Nelly doesn't have a beard. He certainly screws who he wants when he wants, male or female. And glad you're feelin' the archive!"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-33737023303843664892010-10-06T08:32:05.006-04:002010-10-06T08:32:05.006-04:00Michelle: Ted has stated that Nelly is bi, so his...Michelle: Ted has stated that Nelly is bi, so his relationship, like Nevis' with his female SO...okay, Robsten...is probably real, and it isn't a true bearding situation, where the relationship is a fake concocted for publicity purposes.<br /><br />The Eartha Bertha statement is simply a reference back to the Gussy and Fussy BV. It doesn't necessarily mean that Eartha is bearding right now. It just means that she's been a beard in the past. Ted was simply comparing two BV identities that have been beards in previous blinds, and stated that, among those two, Bertha was the one who's most prominent right now. That's definitely the case if Bertha is Bosworth.<br /><br />Remember, don't read too much into it, or you'll fall down the rabbit hole, especially if a face-value interpretation is pretty clear. Ask Tara about that one.The Spiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03291840630813176322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-11496885846973488332010-10-05T12:24:43.867-04:002010-10-05T12:24:43.867-04:00What's going on in today's Bitch Back?? It...What's going on in today's Bitch Back?? It says Nelly doesn't have a beard. ASkars has been proven for this using the timeline, right? So, what's Ted saying here??<br /><br />Didn't Ted recently say he thought Nelly was bi and not gay? So, maybe in this case he is not considering Bosworth a beard..? If that's the case, what's all this recent talk about Eartha Bertha being the 'beard to watch' then??Violet451https://www.blogger.com/profile/06180436038739711922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-208589228214484492010-10-04T11:40:50.561-04:002010-10-04T11:40:50.561-04:00"Dear Ted:
Since you outed Nelly Fang and he ..."Dear Ted:<br />Since you outed Nelly Fang and he doesn't do his outdoor activities anymore, does he do his guy-on-guy action indoors? I think it is awful that he cannot enjoy the great outdoors. I mean, who doesn't love nature?<br />—d<br /><br />TWITTER: Follow @theawfultruth<br /><br />Dear In the Coffin:<br />Poor Nell got the blood-sucking life scared out of him when he saw himself pop up in one of my little Vices, which caused him to limit his dude-on-dude action a bit. Sorry, N.F.! Doncha know I just want you to be the nasty vamp you are?"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-67869566454454956812010-09-23T16:08:13.412-04:002010-09-23T16:08:13.412-04:00"Dear Ted:
When you refer to a blind as "..."Dear Ted:<br />When you refer to a blind as "gay," do you mean gay, not bi? Likewise, does "bi" mean bi, not gay? I know some who use the term "gay" as a broad term referring to sexuality that doesn't fall within the "straight" category (whatever that is). It's probably not the easiest subject to sum up in a short blog, I know, but I don't think I've ever read your definition.<br />—Windsor<br /><br />Dear Bi Today, Gay Tomorrow:<br />Sexuality is always a tricky subject with the fellows, but I try to be as fair as possible. There are clearly dudes like Toothy who have tried to play sexually liberal and go both ways, but the truth is he ends up just liking the guys more than the gals. Then there are guys I truly believe are bisexual—Nevis Divine and even Nelly Fang come to mind—who don't mind dabbling in both sexes. Does that help?"blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-18597107476065422312010-09-21T20:52:35.083-04:002010-09-21T20:52:35.083-04:00He has to be smoulder. There's no way he is a...He has to be smoulder. There's no way he is anything but smoldering, and Ted's personal feelings for him are creeping into the blind name.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05224425644598796254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-87751772317995654202010-09-21T12:18:49.532-04:002010-09-21T12:18:49.532-04:00Michelle: I did that one over in the Buella Band ...Michelle: I did that one over in the Buella Band thread, and confirmed what someone over at the E boards did. Somerhalder is one of the two other BV identities mentioned in that blind, Drew Smoulder 'n' Such or Kelly Guten-Shoes. It's really irrelevant which is which, since this is a group blind and there are no individual details that can positively identify which is which. We're going to need a follow-up BV on one of those two in order to confirm which one Somerhalder is.The Spiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03291840630813176322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-72077720124605303302010-09-20T23:46:51.834-04:002010-09-20T23:46:51.834-04:00Thanks for directing me here, Spie! We all knew th...Thanks for directing me here, Spie! We all knew this was ASkars-it's nice to see the proof laid out so beautifully! I agree with Tara, you are the master at this.<br /><br />Ever since Ted mentioned Ian Somerholder today I've been dying to do this process of elimination with him too!Violet451https://www.blogger.com/profile/06180436038739711922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-54725803812398788522010-09-19T21:40:03.287-04:002010-09-19T21:40:03.287-04:00Also, just to clarify from the other thread, Steve...Also, just to clarify from the other thread, Steven R McQueen from Vampire Diaries cannot be Nelly Fang. He is not a vampire on the show (yet), and the show was so brand new when this bv came out, so there is no way Ted knew that he may eventually request to be turned into a vampire. Also, it clearly states "Which vampire is batty for boys" and "vampire sensation", so it is made clear that he is actually a vampire on his show/in his movie. Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley have both been elim'd, so VD is pretty much out. <br /><br />I still love ASkars for this, and good work Spie. No one can bust out an elimination/confirmation timeline better.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05224425644598796254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-91168456761954228962010-09-19T13:29:02.633-04:002010-09-19T13:29:02.633-04:00Thanks Spie! Once I pinpointed the two dates in m...Thanks Spie! Once I pinpointed the two dates in my comment above (on Aug 21), I had wanted to do that. As you can see I had a post that I deleted that I had started to investigate the timeline and then messed up. So - Thanks!blurry vicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09344701373517638456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3087979845966461587.post-9683091885431767782010-09-19T09:11:35.475-04:002010-09-19T09:11:35.475-04:00Okay, let's solve this in my usual fashion. A...Okay, let's solve this in my usual fashion. ASkars was not a BV on August 21st, 2009. He was a BV on March 29th, 2010. Let's take all of the new male and unidentified BVs between those two dates and see if there are any possibilities other than Nelly Fang:<br /><br />Horace Hum-Brow: "Slightly nebbish, dork-dude appeal"...I don't think so. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Jackie Bouffant: Proven in a previous exercise to be Zac Efron. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Maxwell Meat-Mingle: Heavily implied to be a new name for a revealed BV. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Topher Hairy-Tuchas: Ted states that Topher was in a previous BV as a supporting player. ASkars wasn't famous enough before True Blood to be on Ted's radar. ASkars also doesn't have the "lauded movies" part of Topher's CV, and didn't have the "famous female companions" part at the time of Topher's BV debut (note the plural; Kate Bosworth does not make for a plural). Not eliminated, but very, very low chance, low enough to say Not ASkars, but alternate opinions are welcome.<br /><br />Whore-Hey Hoeman: Doesn't fit at all. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Schlamm Butt-Wiggle: In a long-term relationship with Perka Penis-Player, and that relationship has produced tabloid headlines. You can stretch things with Skarsworth to create the long-term relationship required, but I don't believe that Bosworth fits Perka in the least (as far as I know, her ass hasn't been drooping). Again, not fully eliminated, but enough doesn't fit that I'm going to say Not ASkars. Again, alternate opinions are welcome.<br /><br />Stinky Carrot-Crotch: Average-looking and better known for comedic pursuits. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Dumbo Pecs: Married to Slink-a-Rella Jiggle. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Rocky Trailer (gender unspecified): Twilight blind. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Adam Pounce-Prick: Funny, with "somewhat appealing" looks. Ted drools over ASkars. He would never describe him as "somewhat appealing". Not ASkars.<br /><br />Sandy Boob: Was once on a hit TV show with lots of sand and lots of boobs. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Quidget Barks-a-Little and Harry Fun-Tanked: Both have children from their current long-term relationships. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Nelly Fang: Ding Ding Ding.<br /><br />Parrish Maguire: I proved this to be Taylor Lautner in a previous exercise. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Chester Shorts-Off: Married to Secretia Ohio. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Elijah Schwad: Married to Henrietta Hard-Ball. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Marky Sweet-Puss: Married to Cruella St. Shackles. Not ASkars.<br /><br />Barrington Bang-Me: Oh, wouldn't that cause a fangasm? There are no connections that I know of between ASkars and RPattz (who has been proven to be Nevis Divine, Barrington's boyfriend). Unless you can tell me of one, other than a shared preference for blood in theatrical pursuits, I'm going to say Not ASkars.<br /><br />Moisty Mohr: Ted's essentially revealed him to be Robin Leach. Not ASkars.<br /><br />So, that leaves us with Nelly Fang, which fits every clue Ted's given, and Topher Hairy-Tuchas and Schlamm Butt-Wiggle, which require very difficult Devil's Advocate cases to shore up. I'm putting the chances for the latter two to be less than 5%, and given everything Ted's said about Nelly, I'm declaring this one as essentially Proven.The Spiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03291840630813176322noreply@blogger.com